Is it ok for a friend to date your ex?

Philippines
April 25, 2009 11:33am CST
I don't think it'll be okay.. But for sure this happens for some people. I don't know how they handle this, or if they are cool with this, but for me, it won't be really a good thing, especially if a friend knows that I was the previous lover of my ex.. It just sucks to hear or to know that a friend of mine dated my ex. I think as much as possible friends must take precautions and be sensitive about this kind of issues.. I don't know, what do you think about this?
3 people like this
23 responses
@Absinto (2388)
• Portugal
25 Apr 09
I think it is ok but only if you dont have strong feeling or any feeling at all or that person. If not that is a bad thing to do.
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31644)
• United States
25 Apr 09
My best friend had this happen. (fictional names, not real ones) Jane and Jim were together since college and it hadn't been good for a few years. They'd never married, Jane always said no. Well, Jane had numerous affairs unknown to Jim and she finally left. Meanwhile, Jim and Sue, another girl they'd gone to college with and who was Jane's best friend, consoled each other when Jane left Jim and Dan left Sue. Jim and Sue ended up getting married and Jane never spoke to her again even though she was done with Jim--she didn't want anyone else to have him! Even when she got engaged to someone else, she carried a grudge. This is the situation I have dealt with, it happened to my two best girlfriends and my best male friend. At least when I call my best man friend, I can talk to my best girlfriend, too!
1 person likes this
@prinzcy (5036)
• Malaysia
25 Apr 09
No, I'll definitely say it's not ok for my friends to date my exes. If she's my friends then she should know the this. She has been there for me when I am love and broke up with him. She should know how much it hurt me when it does. I can't accept it if she date him after that. Please avoid it as much as possible.
1 person likes this
@mimimeow (295)
• Hong Kong
25 Apr 09
I don't care. It's a ex already. Whatever he or she does is none of my business. And then if my friends and he / she is truly in love, I can't find my right in stopping them to date. Also, it 's quite selfish if I object them only because that person is my ex. Well, if my friend is sensitive enough, they may avoid letting me to see them together. I don't bother anyway because it is somebody's lives.
1 person likes this
@modstar (9608)
• Philippines
25 Apr 09
As much as we object the idea, do we have a choice? Do we have the right to tell them don't? I guess not. So i guess that all boils down to how much my friend will respect my private life in a sense that it includes my former girlfriends. I think it's pretty awkward for all three involved. me, her and my friend. If they can't handle it anymore then i guess they should stay away from me because i don't want to be in a situation where i have to meet both of them as lovers. Not that i'm jealous but it's kind of pissing me off just thinking about it.
1 person likes this
@kprofgames (3099)
• United States
25 Apr 09
I think it really depends on a few things first. Was it a fresh break up? Well then no. Not cool. Was this break up several years ago and everyone can be adults now? Then I say it's not a bad thing. Come communities are smaller so the overlapping of who you date does happen. If you just broke up with them and they jump right in, then that's no friend of mine. But if, I'm over it then I don't see any problem at all. In all honestly, there was a friend of mine that I thought would work out really well with my ex-husband. It didn't, she felt too funny about it so didn't try. I didn't see anything wrong with it because I was over it and just wanted him happy. I think the difference is in the mantality of how you view your ex and your attachment to him/her.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 May 09
Personally, I do not have an ex that I would mind if a friend dated. I would have a problem with a friend who hid it from me, or didn't talk to me about it first. Not because I care for the ex, but that says something about the so-called friend. If it was a recent ex, and I was still upset about the breakup, then it would bother me a lot. My real friends would know that, so if they were to pursue him it would upset me.
• United States
26 Apr 09
i dont think its ok, i mean with all the people in the world your friend has to hook up with your ex, thats just weird and unneccesary uncomfortable situations. Maybe if its not such a good friend then maybe you cannot say nothing, but if it is somebody you trust and consider close, i think as you say they must have some sensitivity for this issue.
@shell2784 (752)
• United States
26 Apr 09
I dated my friends ex... and it ended our frienship. So, if that's the case, I wouldn't go there. Now I wish I'd have never done it. But I don't know if I'd really mind my friend dating any of my ex's... except that it might be uncomfortable to hang out with him and he at the same time... kind of thing... I'm not sure.
• Philippines
26 Apr 09
lucky me i got few friends and few exes. :) honestly, i would feel bad if one of my friends will date my ex but it's really up to them to decide. maybe i'll just feel awkward, not because i still have feelings for the ex, but because of the thought that comparison between me and the friend. and that is really unfair.
@dany2391 (129)
• Romania
26 Apr 09
Ok that's a very big issue.If I would date my friend's ex it would be very uncomfortable for all of us to hang out.Other than that I would never do such thing to any of my friends.These things can ruin friendships.If Something like that would ever cross my mind I would ask my friend first,and if he would be ok with it maybe I would try,but I still think it's not a good idea.
• Philippines
26 Apr 09
well, why not I mean it's not that it's going to kill me or anything. she can have him for all i care because i got the best hubby in the world. If a person is sensitive about it then there must still be a bit of feeling for the ex. if you really don't have feelings for the guy anymore, why get offended when he's dating your friend? unless he's a pain in the b*tt or a two-timer..
• Singapore
26 Apr 09
I think it's ok. Because the past is gone,and you must realised your ex is not your gf/bf any more. So you haven't the right to interfere her/his personal emotion life. Maybe you still love her/him,still have some feeling, but ending is ending. Maybe your friend is the right person. It's said if you love someone, please make her/him happy. If they feel happy and comfortable, let it be. Be more generous and gentleman, bless them and search for you own happiness.
• India
26 Apr 09
I dont think its a good idea on the part of a friend to date the ex of their friends. I don think that any one can handle it with dignity.You must choose between your friend and the one whom you thinking going out for date.The oral responsibility solely lies on the friend who wants to date with friends ex.
@sid556 (30989)
• United States
26 Apr 09
Some people seem to be ok with this. I would never date an ex of any one of my friends just out of respect for them and our friendship. My friends feel the same way. I guess there is nothing wrong with it as long as it doesn't hurt the friendship and everyone agrees.
@smileonstar (4012)
• United States
26 Apr 09
I dont feel to right either but I used to have one of this kind of friend tho. When I was in High school, my friend dated my ex. At first, I couldn't handle it but I just let it go cuz she just stopped talking to me or think I was her friend anymore. We just didn't talk about that... I still talk if she does, but not long enough my ex and her broke up cuz she was too sensitive with everything. To me, it doesn't matter... I feel weird.
• United States
26 Apr 09
Eeew, no that is so gross! LOL. :-) The only way that should be allowed to happen is if your friend did not know anything about the relationship you and the guy previously shared. :-) Honestly, a relationship like that could never be "unknown". That is just not possible because a conversation about the new or previous relationship is bound to be discussed (sooner or later. :-)
• India
26 Apr 09
I don,t think their is any problem in it,If oen is already ex than every one is free to have relationship. Only thing is that a friend should not be the reason of their breakup. Rest is ok . Everyone is free to live their life independently and as per their will.
@411space (55)
• United States
26 Apr 09
Nope,end of statement!
@Setto24 (122)
• Indonesia
26 Apr 09
HHmmm... hard to answer... Better I dont know if they have a relationship. But... my friend must take a lisence from me to date my ex. I would like earned something from my friend. And make sure that my friend not make any stupid things. Hard to think!