Who should have the right to your funural?
By missybear
@missybear (11391)
United States
April 28, 2009 6:39pm CST
As some of you may know,
I work at a Hospice and unfortunately deal with Death on daily basis.
There is a lot that I don't understand about certain things since I'm in the housekeeping department.
I always ask questions about things and the way they work and our social worker explains a lot to me.
What really gets me and that's the point of my discussion is,
"If you're married when you die, your family has no say so about how you want to be buried,
if you want to be cremated or where you wanna be buried.It's all in the hands of your spouse.
Why has someone that's only married to you have all the rights to your funeral.
How come your Family, Your Mom or Dad that gave birth to you have no say so.
I don't think that's right.
How about you?
3 people like this
8 responses
@uath13 (8192)
• United States
29 Apr 09
Would you rather have it where the parents handle it instead of your spouse? Probably not.
There's an order of responsibility, Spouse - parents or children - siblings & so on. They have to have someone designated as the head to prevent any arguments.
2 people like this
@missybear (11391)
• United States
29 Apr 09
I think you have your parents forever and your spouse maybe only a short while.
2 people like this
@riyasam (16556)
• India
30 Apr 09
well missy,i do think our family should have the rights,that would include my parents and my hubby.but it depends on different cultures,here,when a woman is married she is expected to sever all ties with her former family,i donot buy this culture.
many donot buy that culture but women have no saying ,they are being forced into thinking so for variety of reasons(that is one of the reasons why i think education is a must for women)
@Rustinas1 (438)
• United States
2 May 09
Wow, that is messed up. I'm glad you do not buy into that culture either. That's far from right, afterall, family is family. Blood is thicker than water, and nobody is going to love you more than your family ever will.
I would never sever all ties with my family, for if it wasn't for one's parents, then I guess we would'nt be born, much less around.
Thank goodness, riyasam, you are'nt agreeing with that. I really and truly feel bad for those who actually follow this culture. It's just wrong.
1 person likes this
@missybear (11391)
• United States
1 May 09
Wow, very interesting.
I'm glad you didn't sever your family ties, family is important.
2 people like this
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
29 Apr 09
Hey missy~ If you don't prepare your Will and make specifications
as to how and where you want to be buried then the person who is
next of kin makes that decision. If you are married then it would
be your spouse. That is the law! If you are not married then it
would go to your immediate family, meaning your Mom or Dad, if
they are alive and so on. So it is always best if you are sick
that you have these things put in order in a Will before hand.
2 people like this
@missybear (11391)
• United States
29 Apr 09
Those are things I don't wanna think about but I should.
2 people like this
@eztuner (450)
• United States
29 Apr 09
I think is totally right, if you do not wish it as the law states then hire a lawyer, and state your desires, and make it legal. I think that when you make the decision to marry someone you are in accordance with all the institution represents, the person I have choose to live my life with is the right person to take charge of my wishes, as how I want to rest in Peace.
@missybear (11391)
• United States
29 Apr 09
I guess you have the right to your opinion.
I just don't understand why parents that raise there children to grow up and be adults
and be good people have no rights after they die.
Thanks for responding
2 people like this
@wonttakelong (3555)
• United States
29 Apr 09
I actually agree with the way it is handled
I have talked to my husband extensively about my final wishes
my family doesnt have a clue what I want
my husband does and he will honor it
even if my family knew they wouldnt respect my wishes
2 people like this
@TheGreatWhiteBuffalo (4822)
• United States
29 Apr 09
We need to talk, I'll go you one better...
Hipa (sp?) takes issues way too far when it comes to who should and can have the right to know... Especially when there is blatant abuse in and of the system.
We need to fix a few things in our own country!
Your spouse if not estranged should have a role in the decisions first, but by all means a 'well written will' would help.
Close parents that are not felons could have a hand in things.
So there! I just cut out my estranged spouse and my mother along with my step mother.
1 person likes this
@TheGreatWhiteBuffalo (4822)
• United States
2 May 09
The thing is that yes, I am on your side, but repairing that bridge over troubled water is going to be much harder with all of the criminals preventing the work to begin.
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
29 Apr 09
Hi missybear! I think that your question is the exact reason why we all should have things prepared before passing. It would depend on the person as to who should handle arrangements. We all have certain wishes to be carried out and the ones that will grant these are the ones in which should handle things. Take care.
1 person likes this
