Can you committ?

United States
May 3, 2009 7:32am CST
I used to believe in commitment once upon a time, but then life and relationships happened and it became less of a priority for me. I remember believing in the sanctity of marriage and wanting it to happen and for it to last. I don't really feel the same way anymore. I like my freedom and my space and I'm afraid of commitment because I don't ever want to go through what I have previously. Are you someone that can commit easily and wants a long and lasting relationship or are you someone who has a steers away from making relationships permanent?
4 people like this
14 responses
@bdugas (3580)
• United States
3 May 09
I used to want a nice commitment to marriage, but soon found that marriage is one sided. I didn't want to get married this last time had been single nearly 12 years, but I finally consented and found it just like the rest, I also like my space and freedom. My hubby leaves in around July and goes to visit his relatives back home for a few months. God how I cherish this time alone. To do as I please when I please. No time limits, no fighting over what to watch on the TV or being told it time for bed. It really makes me feel like I want to just be on my own again. I don't think there is such a thing as commitment any more, no one takes it seriously. I steered away from it for 12 years, and should of continued. I dont' like being given times to do things, and told what to do, or when to do it. I have been through 2 other marriages where apparently there was only commitment on my part, did not want to go through that again. I believe this marriage I got is almost over, what I seen last night just about told me it is. Commitment takes both to work together, and it is hard to find someone that doesnt' think they should dominate the relationship. Once out of this one i will stay on my own and have my freedom.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 May 09
I can absolutely and completely relate to what you are saying. I hate hearing things like "you are always on the computer" or "you never spend any time with me". I am like you, I want to do it when and if I want to do it. No guilt, because I'm not living up to someone elses expectations. I am sorry though that you are having problems with your marriage and I hope that it works out if thats what you want to have happen.
@bdugas (3580)
• United States
4 May 09
YOu know it really doesn't matter to me any more gone through too much with him, being hurt on the job, not his fault, but not speaking up and talking when needed, losing our home to Katrina and being relocated 1000 miles from home, him always complaining about going home, hell go see if I care, give me peace for a change. I am 62, I will wash the dishes when I feel like it, I will sweep the floor when I feel like it, I have done enough in my life to make everyone else happy, now it is my turn and if you can't hang oh wellllllllllll.
@hoghoney (3749)
• United States
3 May 09
well I can committ but it is just finding a guy that can committ to a relationship. I have been married twice and both of them cheated on me and then now I am single again because my boyfriend of 5 years decided that he didnt want to be with me anymore..but that is only because he turned into a big mama's boy and his mommy had alot to do with our break up...So now the next guy that comes into my life it will take me a bit of time to really trust them and make another real committ to a guy again.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 May 09
In most of my relationships my partner has cheated also, but I have come to accept that and am happier in an open relationship.
@Aussies2007 (5339)
• Australia
3 May 09
I hate any kind of commitment and I usually stay clear of them. But if I commit myself to something... I will stick with it and do my best to make it work. Relationships are a two way street. One person does not have the power to make it work. It has to come from both sides... on many levels. But there is always one level which will fail... as no-one is that perfect. Relationships breaks up because people expect perfection. Perfection does not exist at any level.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 May 09
Not only do they want perfection, but they want things to fall into place overnight. It takes time for a relationship to grow and for you to find your niche with one another. You can't force things to happen, they just have to follow their own course.
@Rosekitty (19387)
• San Marcos, Texas
3 May 09
Morning Kat! I'm very happy being the way i am..slumming through the alleys, looking for any stray tomkat to come around... Nothing permanent for me anymore..did that twice and learned the hard way..
1 person likes this
• United States
3 May 09
Once bitten, twice shy, Rose?
@winterose (39893)
• Canada
4 May 09
I won't enter a non committal relationship, in this day and age with aids, and other diseases, no way I am not taking a chance, it is all or nothing with me.
• China
4 May 09
Pray for you
1 person likes this
@winterose (39893)
• Canada
4 May 09
freshyfresh I am in a committed relationship for 10 years now.
@Yori88 (1468)
• Philippines
4 May 09
I have been married for more than half a year now and I think I really believe in the power of commitment. I know that things may still change in the future but as long as I believe and I love my husband things will be the same. I am not afraid of commitment because I believe that having someone who will grow old with you is the best things that could happen to us. We all need a person to share our likes and our dreams with. We may believe that being single is good but since I was done from being single, I could say that having someone who arrives home to hug and kiss you is one of the simplest yet happiest thing that I have ever experienced. I do not believe that being in a relationship ends your freedom, it is a matter of compromise with your partner. You should always believe in the power of love and love will keep the two of you inspired and powerful.
@pickoy (733)
• Philippines
4 May 09
I believe in commitment regardless of the outcome in everything, in every way or choice I make. I have reason to believe that when I'm committed to something or to someone, I should keep it, coz its not only my commitment to him but also to myself. It always takes two to keep it though, for if the other one is unwilling the commitment will fall. It works like a contract, as long as two people don't breach it, its there...
• China
4 May 09
I want a long and lasting relationship,and I believe in committment and keeping my love intact with the same person for the longest possible.I also like my freedom and my space,but I wpuld feel lonely if I stay on my own without my girlfriend.
@sid556 (30987)
• United States
4 May 09
I feel just like you, Kbourgerie. When I first got married, I believed with all my heart it would be forever. I didn't know many couples that had gotten a divorce. Then things went terribly sour. I left him and chalked it up to our youth. Then I got married again. We had dated for 3 yrs and the marriage lasted for 10 before it just blew apart. I've concluded that not every relationship is meant to last forever. I no longer will tangle up my life or my finances with someone like that...meaning...no living together. I date and I'm monogamous. I have also gone long long periods completely single. When I'm dating someone, I just enjoy the time with them for as long as it lasts. I'm not afraid of commitment....I just don't want it. I can't predict the future.
@cicisnana (774)
• United States
4 May 09
My husband and I are committed and have been for 22 years, and all of a sudden, we're tired of one another. It's not just me, and not just him. It's the two of us. We still love one another and are going to stay together, but we no longer go to the same places together, no longer cherish the time when we are alone.
@sang2k2 (1833)
• India
3 May 09
i believe in committment and keeping my love intact with the same person for the longest possible and shape it in the form of marriage.. it gves a good feeling of being committed and the best is to get married to someone whom you actaully love.. these days getting committment or even giving commuttment is difficult that is how we see alot of break ups these days and short term relations ppl enjoy more of the pleasures rather than the soul which is a little hard to digest... good discussion thanks for sharing...
@ellie26 (4140)
• Malaysia
3 May 09
I am very committed to my marriage even though it is almost one sided.
@ElicBxn (61143)
• United States
3 May 09
I want a long and lasting relationship, but I don't commit easily. I don't think the 2 go hand in hand. I guess because I saw a couple I thought would be together forever divorce before I was 14. I think that commiting oneself easily and wanting it to last is a recipe for failure. One should wante a lasting relationship and hold off commiting until you have a chance to know the person better.
• United States
3 May 09
I can commit and i usually do it really quick. I have been in my relationship almost two year and i commit myself to him and no one else because i feel when you love someone you should only love that person and no one else besides of course your family. Commitment for a guy usually take a lot longer and that always seemed to bug me, but now i feel i can trust my boyfriend and he does what he wants. Commitment for me does not take long at all and i usually fall deep in the track of wanting it and being loved by someone.