are u constatnly disssapointed by ur friends?

@sarcasms (120)
India
May 7, 2009 10:08am CST
i always feel and have some expectations frm my friends but they always seem to let me down ........i feel they shuld treat me the way i treat them and as i get attached pretty easily i am very considerate of there feelings thou i dont expect all my friends to be considerate of my feelings but i just want that my close frnds shuld be considerate enuf of my feelings am i crazy or am i expecting too much that i am constantly dissapointed by them........?does this happen with u also ? it justs reminds me how selfish this whole world i ve heard ppl say that i have so man gud frnds and they are like my brother s my soulmates and stuff do peaople really mean it or am i just unlucky not to have any gud frnds in life?
3 people like this
17 responses
@Iram786 (498)
7 May 09
this happens to me occasionaly too. maybe you've got close with them too quickly? you could try talking to them. if you've known for a few years there's really no reason for them to be like that, or maybe they just don't know how you feel :]
@sarcasms (120)
• India
7 May 09
i think talkin to them wuldnt make a difference it wuld increase the differnces i just have to lossen up and start being more untrustworthy and act the way they do...........
@Iram786 (498)
7 May 09
you might be right but you shouldn't have to change yourself for them.
@sarcasms (120)
• India
7 May 09
change in the way that if i expect less of them ill not be dissapointed everytime....it ll be easier that way
@zzyw87 (1259)
• Philippines
7 May 09
I feel exactly the same as you when it comes to friends. My friends always let me down too but they never seem to know it. I am a very sensitive person and sometimes I get hurt by their actions or lack of actions thereof. For example, there were several times my friends forgot to invite me when they are going out. Sometimes, they hide secrets from me that they were able to share with our other group of friends. I guess my expectations are just too high. We need to accept them even with all their flaws. They are actually good friends and they have been my friends for almost a decade already. They are just not what my ideal friend is.
@sarcasms (120)
• India
7 May 09
ya i agreee i think some of my frnds really dont understand me some people just dont get you so its kind of the way it works we just gotta accept ther flaws and go on watever they might do they are our friends..........but smtimes there actions are so hurtful and they seem pretty intentional that situations just forces u think is it worth all this trouble?
@SeishiroX (1076)
• Philippines
8 May 09
I guess I would agree with this. I have had people who have been my friends for 8 years now, but I was constantly disappointed with them. Worse, I tried to adapt to their preferences and acted the way they seem to want me to. Although I'm sure it wasn't their intention, I felt pressured constantly while they acted the way they wanted to. So I decided to show my true colors, and look at where they are now. Gone and refusing to understand because all they want is for me to look at their perspective and accept it.
@sarcasms (120)
• India
8 May 09
ooh so wat happened to ur frnds did they not like wen u behaved the way u are?and wat remedy do u see to it........
• Philippines
8 May 09
You know friendship it's not like having a servant or a slave to expect them to do their work. It's get along and understand each other thing. you don't think over what they think. They come and go, that's how it is because people change a lot. Well, people Change, that's the main reason why we got so disappointing . there are good friends but not for life.
@sarcasms (120)
• India
15 May 09
ya that could be reason.........thnks fr responding
• United States
8 May 09
sarcasms- I am one who gets very attached to those I call friends, and at times that has led to some hurt that I'd not like to repeat. One thing I've learned over time is that it's best to develop a friendship in the same way we'd grow a garden, with time. I know don't rush friendships, nor dive into them head first. I wade slowly and see over time where it takes me. I've had some really bad experiences in which friends weren't really friends to begin with, and had alterior motives. Now I tend to scope that out. The true friends I have now are those who didn't mind the waiting time, and understood why I was slow to say "friend". They've been with me for many years now. I can't say I have tons of "friends", but the ones I have are solid. It's not about how many, it's about the quality of friendship that seems most important. Those are the friends that truly help you grow. Namaste-Anora
@sarcasms (120)
• India
12 May 09
namsate to u anora as well........ya i hope i also become experienced enough to choose my friends wisely thanks fr ur response.........
@hanah87 (1835)
• Malaysia
7 May 09
Yes,i really really disappointed with my friends.They always not appreciate all i done for them.They think they are smarter because always make me as their slave and quarrel with me.But now i am free from my friends because i break my friendship with them and find a new friend.By the way,i am happy with my good friend.
@sarcasms (120)
• India
10 May 09
gud nice advice.......wat makes u beleive same thing wont happen with ur new friend.......
@shell2784 (752)
• United States
7 May 09
I honestly feel as if you're just not lucky enough to have any true friends. My girls: Mandy, Laura, Meg, Krystl - we bend over backwards for each other when its needed. It doesn't matter whats going on, we are there for each other whether it be physically, emotionally, monetary, whatever. There is NOTHING i wouldn't do for a single one of them I can honestly say none of them have ever disapointed me or hurt my feelings in anyway or anything. Maybe I'm just very fortunate to have friends like them. But hey, if someone is constantly letting you down and hurting you.... are they REALLY your friend?
@sarcasms (120)
• India
9 May 09
u are indeed very lucky take good care of ur friends.........
• United States
7 May 09
yes i am dissapointed by my friends not that they treat me a certain way but how they act sometimes you try to help them out but they dont want to listen
• United States
8 May 09
Yes, I get disappointed by my friends alot. Sometimes I rethink our friendship.
• Ireland
7 May 09
yeah well i used to look for a lot in friends and used to feel like I always have to be there for them but I hardly ever got anything back so I have learned not to expect anything from my friends(only maybe the very few) and not expect my self to tend as much to them either
@sarcasms (120)
• India
8 May 09
yup thats the way to go i guess ......ur reply is appreciated
• United States
7 May 09
This same thing has happened to me, and I had to drop alot of them I was sick and tired of giving and not getting anything in return. Now I have a handful of friends who are true friends and that would do anything for me as I would do for them. It is better to have a handful of friends who are true then 100 that are not!
@sarcasms (120)
• India
8 May 09
you make a gud point but i just have one true friend other than that i dont trust on anyone.........
• United States
9 May 09
I would want to be treated the same. If you treat me nice I treat you nice. I try never to hurt any ones feelings. But if they hurt mine way to many time then I talk to them about it.
• India
8 May 09
Oh yes. We cannot really expect happiness from all the friends we make. We have to face disappointment as it's just the way the world is. We cannot find perfection, and the same way we cannot find happiness with everybody. That's why we are always asked to make sacrifices and adjustments to deal with such situations. bourne
• Pakistan
8 May 09
As it is said that a kind person lives in the kind world and a hostile person lives in a hostile world, I love to be at my best behaviour with everyone I come inot contact. Nothing delights me more that the feeling of being useful and helpful to others. I am also very sensitive. I love to be understood and taken care of. Unfortunately, I have had very bad experience concernig my friend who never understood me. My sincereity, honesty, and my generosity was never reciprocated in the same spirit. But I still believe that I must do good well, for I seek my reward from God, not from people.
@bren_yrra (354)
• Philippines
8 May 09
I think you are a person who is very amiable and a loving friend and I do appreciate you for that.You have different personalities with your friends so you need to think that they are not like you.There's a saying that goes,all the people that we meet especially our friends have purpose.They may serve as a challenge for you to be better, a companion to always love who you are, a person whom you could help to improve or a person who could destroy you if you are not courageous enough.You should have a reserve light and has a high emotional quotient.We should not depend emotionally to those people around us;we should not expect too much from them, if not, we will just be hurt and disappointed.What matters is to show who really you are.Show that you are there to give love and understanding even if sometimes they don't consider your feelings.You will not stay with your friends for so long so whatever good thing you can do will be something that will make them remember you.All of us want to be loved, understood and appreciated but a true friend gives an unconditional love especially in the darkest hour of the lives of our friends.I think your friends are lucky to have you!
@xannebull (1800)
• Philippines
8 May 09
it's just that you got friends which are not true to you, i also have friends who are like that, i consider and treat them as friends but for me they just didn't do in return. some of them would just pop in when they have needs and have problems. i think these kind of people are not what we called best friends, they are just friends in good times, but in bad times not... like me, i have lots of friends around and only few are the best. some of the best friends of mine are long time gone, they are distant but we communicate through online and text messages. if your friend makes you disappointed and crazy, simply stay away from them and find another one, maybe someday you'll find someone whom you can consider you best friends for life.
• China
8 May 09
I think friends should trust in you ,and they prop up you all the time.
@mikeysmom (2091)
• United States
7 May 09
for many years i was very disappointed with friends because i was always there for them but when i needed a shoulder to lean on it was rare that anyone was ever there for me. now i do not put alot of stock in friendships. i do not stick my neck out for friends anymore. if i can help i do but if i can't then i just don't. i cannot be all things to all people and although i would like to be a better friend, at this time in my life i just have too much on my plate and cannot put alot of time into friends and social activities.
• United States
7 May 09
I feel for you.. but ones philosophy in life should be to do as much as you can and expect nothing.. if you have zero expectations then whatever comes to you would be more than you expect and will keep you happy in life .. no matter what circumstances you are in.