Do you stick up for your friends even when they are wrong??

Okay, I know this response is more than a tad bit late to this posting, and unfortunately, it's going to be rather ambivalent. The fact is, I suppose it matters how big of an issue and what's at stake in regarding the truth--vs. how important it is to maintain the relationship with our friends. Dale Carnegie in "How To Win Friends & Influence People" very aptly shows how it can be to our advantage to just keep our mouths shut and let other people believe they are right, but on the other hand, if a large part of you has to betray yourself to be a part of the lie, or if someone's going to get hurt, then I think it's imperative that the truth take the center stage.

i dont back when my friends are wrong. i even tell them they are wrong. my firends knows me as i very frank person. i say things i want to say, i tell them when they are wrong and if they dont like it then i dont care. they are wrong. but later on they will realize it. as long as when they are wrong i dont back them up when they are right i fight with them .

I would back them, but I'd tell them that I thought they were wrong and this would be the one and only time, I'd back them on something I didn't agree with. However, if they're provoked into doing something wrong, I might consider it more carefully but would still let them know how I felt about their actions. I think it brings things home to them, to be honest and open at all times. Brightest Blessings.

I stand up with my friends most of the time. But there are situations, when you have to let your friend know that he or she is wrong. That is even at the cost of your friendship. That is being friends.

My friend picked the wrong fight? I would support them and still tell them they were wrong. I know sounds like a cop out but I canmake them feel the have my support but I still will tell them in this case, they were wrong.

Miami- I've seen quite a bit of this in the last week and it's been very disheartening. I will stand up for a friend who is being verbally abused, in which the argument has turned to name calling, rather than intelligent debates. That is where I personally draw the line. If it is simply that one of my friends is having a debate in which they are providing their points, and the other person is providing their points I simply go with the side that I believe in. Sometimes that means going against my friends beliefs because they are not mine. However, with good friendships I believe most of us can respect this right to be different. What I don't support is people who support friends who are being abusive, and make excuses for the person such as "That's just how they are", or so forth. There is no excuse for such behavior. However, the online world makes it very easy to side the empathy muscles in our brain and say things that we might not otherwise say if we have to look the person in the eyes. I know in my heart that some of the things I've been called on Mylot would never be said to my face, but online gives people this sort of "shield" or so they believe it does so they say what they want to. Perhaps we simply need to think before we type. Namaste-Anora

I tell them the way that it is. All of my friends, are my friends because they can ask me or say something to me and I tell them just like it is. I want them to do the same for me, even if feelings are hurt.

I'm the last person you want to make a response or comment on this discussion, for what is the truth if it is covered up by a lie? The fact is that the one person that should be my best friend was actually my worst enemy. A child born of a woman should find love in her arms, instead I was born out of a monster. My father moved from one monster to another, and they teamed up and recruited the person that should have been my best friend. Now a trio of liars which was a union created by triggered event through the lie of a lying detective. And the church where we participated became an extension of the lies with more lies piled on top. Where does the truth begin?

I think you are right...this sort of thing is so wrong. I have seen many examples of one person going in for the attack on a poster here and then before you know it, several of their friends are there as well, laying into this person. Those I called friend who have done this I have backed off from, I think it's very wrong. I cannot be friends with anyone who does this. If you have a problem with something someone is saying either report them if they are going against the guidelines or step back....everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

A friend who helps a friend to lie is never a true friend. I speak based on facts. If my friend is in the wrong, I will tell him so. Loyalty is also part of making the friend see what is right and wrong. If he cannot accept the fact, I am sure I will be able to reason out with him after giving him due space.

Mmm...wonder where you got the idea from for this discussion? No if a friend picks a fight against someone and they are wrong I don't intervene, but if one of my friends is being attacked by someone and that someone is downright nasty, flaming and abusive that's something different, don't you think? I'm especially talking about discussions some of my friends make that are "innocent" and someone comes in and out of nowhere is being abusive. I've had my own fair share of being attacked this way, and have had my own "stalker"...at first he was real nice to me, but then after awhile would leave abusive flaming remarks and not even answer the discussion topic. He's been banned about four times and comes back to haunt me....any day I'm half expecting him to come back again and taunt me

For my very best friends I'm there whether they're right or wrong. When one of my friends slept with another girl's boyfriend, I didn't condone her behavior, but she was still my friend, and I didn't tolerate people speaking badly of her, and pointed out that she didn't know the guy had a girlfriend and that couple had a history of cheating on each other. When another friend was going through a divorce, he made some bad decisions, but it wasn't my job to tell him how to live, it was my job to let him know I was there to love and support him no matter what. My best friend got into a long disagreement with some other people at our college, and they kept trying to pull me to their side. But I would always believe her side of the story over theirs. Sometimes I have told people "I don't think what you did was right, or a good decision, but it was yours to make, and I'm here." It's not my job to make them perfect, its my job to be the best friend to them I can be.

I lost a close friend once because of this issue. He was older than me but still what we call a larrikin - a bit of a wild youth except he was 62 at the time and still enjoyed a bit of fisticuffs. He was trying to pick a fight in a hotel one night, and muttered out of the side of his mouth "Back me up". I said, "No way, Eddie, you pick a fight and you're on your own. I'll stop him putting in the boot if I have to, but otherwise bugger off." He hardly spoke to me after that, despite twenty years of friendship. I suppose he thought that because I had a reputation as a bit of a hard man that I'd see it as he did, but I never once picked a fight in my life, I only ever finished them. Lash

True friends never leave their friends in lurch even if they are wrong. Our friends need most when they are wrong. They need our guidance, vision and farsightedness. Leaving just because they are wrong won't serve any purpose. Friends are tested in such situations. We must help our friends overcome their problems and wisely guide them without offending them by touching their sensitive ego. Help them sort out the matters by discussion and give them you patient hearing, helping them speak their heart out and then present them with your valuable suggestion to lift them out of the morass of problems they are in. Only your patience and wisdom can correct and reform them.

I believe in friendship, but I do not believe in loyalty. That is to say, if I don't believe that my friend or loved ones is right, if I believe they are wrong, no matter how much I love them, I will not support or defend them. Whether it's a friend, family, church, politician, the person has to be RIGHT in order for me to defend them.

I believe in friendship, but I do not believe in loyalty. That is to say, if I don't believe that my friend or loved ones is right, if I believe they are wrong, no matter how much I love them, I will not support or defend them. Whether it's a friend, family, church, politician, the person has to be RIGHT in order for me to defend them.

Loyalty is an admiral quality. But so is honesty. I look at friendship as special. I also would hope that a friend would be mature enough to know that friends do not always agree. I would also hope that as a friend I would be able to disagree on the merits of the issue, not on the person. To me, it is not possible or even a good idea to agree all the time. The key is to disagree with out hurting the other person and make the realize that you disagree with the principal of the issue not the person.

A person can still be my friend despite being wrong. But I won't tolerate worst attitudes. I can only give my sympathy. I can serve as a shock absorber but I will not back them up or do the fight for them. Instead, I will just serve as a mediator. I will tell the pros and cons of his situation and the consequences. Then I'll let him decide what to do next. If I will tell hims straight he's wrong, it could hurt his ego. If I will not do anything, I'm better off as a friend. Loyalty is not only measured on how long do you stay with your friends. What's the sense of a person sticking to you all the time if he does not treat you as a friend? It is also shown by doing something that will make them feel they exist for you (greeting them when you see them again despite being separated for a long time, etc.). Even though you have new sets of friends, you still remember those prior to them.

No, if they are wrong, I will tell them so. Why would I want to do that? LOL

Only for best friends coz good friends are those who bails you out of jail but best friends are those who sits inside the jail wid you and says- "damn we screwed up"