best friend ---- best enemies

United States
May 12, 2009 12:35pm CST
i started a business last year and it has really taken off. my best friend was right there with me at the start. i made her office manger of a new office i opened and she didnt wanna work - she would come in at 11:00 and leave at 3:00. So at the end of the season that office failed to no surprize.I moved her back into my base office as just a regular employee. i had a lady working there as a manager already. in the mean time i bought a rv used and a vendor wagon so that i could work the fair and festivals cooking food this spring and summer. Well she was still coming in and doing her hrs how ever she wanted - so when payday came i payed her like she worked. she found out how much the other lady made & she got soo mad that she threw her keys across the office and started yelling about all the money i make and the stuff i bought and thats why she didnt get paid more. i felt real bad because we had been friends for 15years. but when she left that day we havent talked yet. i dont feel that i did her wrong and i really hate that i lost her ....
3 people like this
10 responses
• Canada
12 May 09
I don't think you have anything to worry about. I understand that you have known each other for a longtime. However, she should be able to respect boundaries and know that business is one thing, friendship is another. Just because you are friends and have been for 15 years, it doesn't mean she can walk all over you and disrupt your business. She should respect you enough to put in as much as effort as you do into the work and earn her money through her contribution. Being friends is not a ticket to making easy money while sitting on her laurels. I would have done exactly the same and pay her only for the hours she worked. After all, you don't owe her any explanation as to what you purchase with the money you earn from your business. If she has any respect and love for you, she will come back and even apologize. If not, she doesn't deserve to be your friend anyway. All the best to you!
@betsyhu (207)
• China
13 May 09
Yean, I believe that friend is one thing,business is another as you said. Many friend is only friend in life and not involved in business. After all, commercial business is a callosity field with all kinds of benefit, but friendship is geist by contraies.
• United States
12 May 09
That is a really tough situation. I think you did the right thing. It is a business after all. You cant just hand out paychecks to everyone on the street and expect to have a successful business! In fact, you probably did more for her than I would have. I dont think I would have brought her to the office after the other one failed. If she didnt work there, I wouldnt expect her to change! I think it is even worse that she put you in that situation. You were trying to help her out and she tried to take advantage of you. It is always hard to lose a friend, but it doesnt sound like she was a very good friend to start with!
• United States
12 May 09
yeah that is the way i finally had to look at it but it really made feel so bad because when i was down and out she was there for me.. i did try to help her as much as i could but it really hurt the way this all ended
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
13 May 09
Tell yourself that it is not personal, it's business. Outside of work, she is still your best friend of 15 years but in the office, it's work. Or else, everyone would think that you are being a sour grape and only 'siding' with your friend, if you know what I mean. And when she can come in and out of the office as she pleases, it might already causes discomfort to others and the Manager that you have promoted probably deserves it more than her because she is 'working hard'. Next time she throws a tantrum, you tell it her like this. 'If you want me to treat you like a good friend, then be one.' Hope she gets it. And hopefully she can start working fairly and helping you out, and I'm sure you'll reward her just as you reward the others. Good luck for your business.
• Philippines
13 May 09
Well I think that you are realy not friends..., because in the first place when that thing was happening you should have talked to her already... Tell your sentiments and you should have asked also her why is she's coming late and all... Maybe she has a good reason why she was doing that... And i think you should talked to her if you dont really feel like loosing her... And start to patch things up before it ruins your friendship... Also Separate bussiness from personal life because buss will always be buss. its aim/ main purpose is to earn money. also to help out needy persons. talk to her and hear her side and then air yours..
• India
13 May 09
u knw wat!!!!wenever dere is an issue of money..two buddies although they are best pals..cant b happy..money creates misunderstanding b/w relations..its d only key for making a man irrogant..i agree money is important but in a suffiecint manner.. if i were on ur place...i definately get her back to my life...frndship is far better than business!!!!gudluck
• Philippines
13 May 09
oh.. abuser! really hate those kind of people.
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
13 May 09
It is said you should keep friends and family for that matter away from business and money as I have found out for myself..you have to keep yourself in an upper position where you can state what needs to be said and sometimes this is hard with friends and family with out losing them..unfortunately I have found friends in my past have taken advantage of my easy nature but over the years one learns so if you want to keep your friends keep them just as friends.
@celticeagle (157563)
• Boise, Idaho
13 May 09
Wow! I think you did all you could. She wasn't the boss. She had no right to just do as she pleased. Some people take advantage if they can. Sadly something needed to be done and you did it. It is sad to lose a friend but maybe she just wasn't that a good a friend to begin with and you are better off. Life is short. I don't think you did anything wrong.
@lynnemg (4529)
• United States
13 May 09
You have just given a great example of why those of us who are building a bussiness should never hire our friends. I think that you gave her plenty of opportunity to go somewhere with you in your business, but she was just taking advantage of you because you were her friend. Frankly, it is no employees business, friend or not, what you make or what you spend as long as the employee is getting their paycheck. Of course you are going to feel bad about the whole situation, but remember, you are running a business, and she is lucky that you didn't just fire her long before the situation came to a head. I can't even say that she was such a good friend to you because a real friend would have put forth the necessary effort to help ensure the success of your business rather than do the things she did. As hard as it all seems, you may actually be better off without her in your life, for now at least. I hope that in the future, if/when the two of you decide to speak again, you remember what has happened and do not allow her to work for you again. Building and maintaining a successful business takes a lot of hard work and determination, and for you to continue to succeed, you will have to stop yourself from being taken advantage of in the future. I wish you the best with your business, it sounds to me like you are on the right track.
@gcorp09 (940)
• Singapore
13 May 09
I will say that it's really a pity that a longtime friendship ended up in such a manner. However, I do agree with you on what you have done. You have to separate work and personal friendship apart, or else the rest of the staff will not be happy. I do think what she had done is too far. I got a feeling that she's trying to use your friendship to "slack off", which I don't think her work behavior is desirable for any employer. I had heard of a few cases of friends falling out after they got into business partnership, or anything to do with money. For me, I will try to avoid the above scenarios, as I do not want to fall out with friends over such matters.