will you let your child change his/her religion?

@ckyera (17342)
Philippines
May 19, 2009 8:40am CST
all of us i think have our religion preferences, christian, catholic, islam, hinduism so on so forth... and we raise our children following the doctrines of your religion but what if when the time comes that your children would like to change his/her religion? would you allow them or not? are you the type who will say that "you were born with this religion, we will die in this religion" i have seen many parents like them who sometimes cursed their children for joining different religion. what is your view about this? thanks & happy posting! :-)
5 people like this
32 responses
• United States
19 May 09
My husband and I are in an interfaith marriage. We decided, before we had children, that we would introduce our children to a variety of religious paths and give them the freedom to explore their own. We, now, have two wonderful sons and a third child on the way. My oldest son is very interested in my religious practices. I try to give him all the information he wants without pushing him. My younger son has just begun to question about divinty and faith. I hope they will both find a way to worship that suits their needs and if it is different from mine or my husband's I will respect that.
@ckyera (17342)
• Philippines
7 Jul 09
its good to hear that even you and your husband have different religious belief, you can still manage to have a good relationship... i hope that in the near future, your children can also find the right religious path for them...and you as parents will just continue on supporting your children... thanks!
@sedel1027 (17855)
• Cupertino, California
19 May 09
Regardless of how you raise them your children's choices, such as religion, are their choices and can not be controlled by parents. There is now "allowing" things to happen.
1 person likes this
@ckyera (17342)
• Philippines
7 Jul 09
hi sedel...thanks yes there are things that parents cannot control about their children...
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
7 Jul 09
Hello, it's me yet again, boring u with my comments on most of your posts.. lol =D I definitely wont stop my child from changing their religion because they have a right to do it.. Every religion talks about faith.. Faith comes naturally from that person, and if they are being forced to believe in something, then it's not faith at all right?? haha =D What's good to parents, might not be the same in the eys of children.. THus, what right does parent have, to force their child into following the same religion as them??
@ckyera (17342)
• Philippines
8 Jul 09
hello again...hehehe well that's good if all parents have the same thought as you... but like what i've said to others...what if a parent is a devotee in its religion and would want their children to have faith and belief as they are? coz they think that their religion is the right one? and so they want everybody in the family to be in that religion...and its common in some countries... let's face it, not all parents are as open minded as the most people here...:-)
1 person likes this
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
8 Jul 09
What makes parents a devotee in the first place?? Are they being forced into it, or are they willing?? lol =D LEt's say, if one is to be forced to believe in a religion, then i dun think they will take it seriously.. Thus resulting in humiliating the religion instead.. haha =D And the main culprit for doing so, are the parents.. BEcause they used force instead of persuasion, which does not equals to the true meaning of faith.. haha =D
@ckyera (17342)
• Philippines
9 Jul 09
well actually here in the Philippines there's a lot of parents who are very devoted in their respective religions...and wanted their whole family to embrace that religion and if one of their children or family member wishes to change their religion, then its gonna be a big deal...really!
1 person likes this
@cobra1368 (702)
• United States
19 May 09
I grew up having no choice in the matter. I was told what to believe. And I believed it for many years. I don't believe it now that I don't live at home anymore. I actually realized the other day that I haven't believed it for years. I just never had the courage to tell my family that. And I resent the fact that I can't tell my family that I don't believe. So, yes, I would let my child decide what to believe regarding religion. I think that is one of those things that is each individual's personal journey, and no one else in the world should tell them what or what not to believe in. Of course, if they became a satanist or something like that and started seeking out people to sacrifice, I'd be more than a little concerned! But simply choosing Bhuddism, Hinduism, Christianity, Paganism, Druidism, etc., is their personal choice and their personal journey. I wouldn't want to get in the way of that.
@ckyera (17342)
• Philippines
7 Jul 09
hi cobra...i think its frustrating when we can't tell what we want to our family out of something...may i ask why you didn't find courage to tell them your feelings? yes of course, if the path that our children want to follow is something that we know will bring them to danger...then we must act on it... we as parents should always be there to guide and support them...but we must also remember that they have their own mind and thinking...and also freedom... but you know, there are times, especially when parents are really devoted on their religion...they will never allow their children changing beliefs...coz they think that it is wrong and if children insists...they take it a s disobedience! thanks for sharing....
• United States
7 Jul 09
I know I called it a lack of courage, but it was more a fear of hurting them. I do love my family, and they are not only devout Lutherans, but we have Lutheran pastors in the family as well. I simply did not want to devastate them like that, and I knew it would. Not only that, but I did NOT want to go through what they would have likely put me through if I had told them I didn't believe what they did. I likely would have had meetings with pastors and all sorts of things stemming from my family freaking out over my disbelief in their religion. I didn't really want to go through it. It wouldn't have helped, and I didn't need it.
• United States
7 Jul 09
My family also discourages independent thinking like that. They are okay with you speaking your mind if they agree with it. However, they are quick to judge and to tell you how stupid your ideas are if they don't agree with what you are saying. I acknowledge it for what it is and don't hold resentment for it. After all, it is how they were taught as well. These ways of being get passed down generation after generation. But it stops with me. I am my own mind, and I will do as I see fit, regardless of what anyone else thinks. I refuse to let someone else dictate my life. Not going to happen! That is one area where we can ALL be selfish!
@kiran8 (15377)
• Mangalore, India
8 Jul 09
Hi ckyera, I am not a great believer in Religion. But I am born into Hinduism and live like a Hindu following Hindu customs. I seriously believe that Hinduism is more a way of life than a Religion, so it suits me. We have absolutely no religious pressures on us. As for my children, I doubt if they are serious about Religion and would ever want to change into any religion at all. But if it so happens then I respect their wishes, because knowing them, there is bound to be a solid reason for doing so..
@ckyera (17342)
• Philippines
8 Jul 09
hi kiran! thanks for participation here in my discussion... so does it mean that you will really allow your child to have a belief out of Hinduism? well that's nice of you, but if you really believes in your faith i think you will still guide your child in its path and teach them its teaching...but like what other said, sooner or later our child will get a mind of their own and if they have a good reason in changing religion, then let them be and just support them. parents will always be there to support and guide them...and its nice for parents to have an open mind... thanks again...
@kiran8 (15377)
• Mangalore, India
8 Jul 09
ckyera, As I told I am not a believer of any religion. i am born a Hindu and since I have been taught to live and practice Hinduism I just accept it. i also like the idea that I am not pressurised. I have never discussed religion with my children , esp about their preferences because it never seemed an important issue to me...
@ckyera (17342)
• Philippines
9 Jul 09
aw okay! thanks!
@vicki2876 (5639)
• Canada
19 May 09
I am shocked to see how many people say that it is the child's choice because I live in a community where nearly 99% of the people are christian. I work at the local school and the children know that I am not a christian. Most children here would not be allowed to change religions here. Even to be told about another faith at all is actually scary to many parents here. They don't want their children exposed to any other faith so I can't see them being fine with them switching. I have three children who all believe different things and that is okay with me. Though our nightly prayers are different and our meal prayer together is inclusive to all our believes I think that it is important for a child to have faith in what they believe in, even if it isn't the same thing as me or any other person.
@ckyera (17342)
• Philippines
7 Jul 09
hi vicki...well actually i am also surprised on the results this discussion shows...that its okay for most of them to let their children change their religions...maybe it just shows that parents nowadays are more open minded? you think? coz most of the people i meet in person, for them it is not okay...i don't know why but they said that its better for their family to have one religion and one faith... but yes i think you are right that what is important is that a child will grow with faith and fear on God... thanks!
• United States
7 Jul 09
I was actually reading a newspaper article about religion in today's society, and it stated that statistics show more people who are older (55 and above) place more importance on religion, and the younger generations place less and less importance on it. I think the tides are turning and people are turning away of their own accord. Your post caught my eye because I grew up in one of the families of which you speak. Lutherans are right, and everyone else is just wrong. End of discussion. There was no arguing that "fact." I would have likely been disowned if I had even mentioned that I had my doubts. It wasn't until I left home that I was free to explore my own spirituality. My journey is still not over, but one thing I know for sure is that Christianity is not where I belong. I have never felt good about it. There are too many inconsistencies, too much that I feel is a lie, or at best, a fictitious story. I think it is inspiring how you are raising your children to be free in their beliefs. I think it really helps them grow and also helps them reach their full mental, emotional and spiritual potential.
@cwong77 (2011)
• Malaysia
25 Jul 09
I will not fixed my child religion view till she turns 18 years old, and she have a choice of her own. I believe that religion is something personal, and it will depends on her faith with the individual religion. As long as she is not into some 'weird' religion, I am alright. I also believe that no religions that teach bad examples, its more how the person preaching the religion interpret the necessary. Happy MyLotting :)
@ckyera (17342)
• Philippines
26 Jul 09
thanks cwong! have a nice day! guidance and understanding is what our children needs...
@sid556 (30980)
• United States
24 Jul 09
I actually never felt it was my right to dictate to my children what religion to be a part of, if any. I was raised catholic and really don't subscribe to all their teachings and am no longer a part of the church at all. I have read up on and talked to people from various other religions and encouraged all my kids to do the same. I think it is good to keep an open mind and then come to your own conclusion as to what is right for you. I would back my children in whatever choice they made regarding something like this.
@ckyera (17342)
• Philippines
26 Jul 09
hi sid! thanks for your response...i wish most parents are like you...open minded and ready to backed up their children on whatever decision they will make...
• United States
23 Jul 09
I think my children are still children and I would feel the need to guide more into my religion when they get older then they can choose their old bliefs.
@ckyera (17342)
• Philippines
23 Jul 09
hello there1 thanks for sharing...well i guess that's a nice attitude of a parent. guide their children while they are still young and when they grew up give them freedom in choosing what they want...but still guide them... thanks and have a nice day!
@krajibg (11924)
• Guwahati, India
7 Jul 09
Hi, Religion in nothing but a set of beliefs nothing else. Therefore if my son wishes to change his religion I would have not a word against his action save he does not become fanatic. I am Hindu but I have often thought f changing my religion to Christianity. This is not that I would be fanatic being a Christian.
@ckyera (17342)
• Philippines
7 Jul 09
hello there! i think being fanatic on one religion is another story...hehehe its nice for parents to give their children their freedom...but parents sholuld always be there for them for guidance and support! thanks a lot and have a good day!
@John4Christ (1597)
• India
20 May 09
First of all it all depends on what foundation you have laid in your child's mind about religion.......i have always been brought up in a christian religion and in religious ways of Christ.......i never felt the urge to get converted......or jump to some other religion.........no offense to other religions but i am really happy with my religion.........well in near future when i get married and have children........i will inculcate the same values in them as my father did in me........so even he wont feel lost..........and changing religion is really weird for me.........it all matters what is your personal relationship with god.........religion came much later.......
@ckyera (17342)
• Philippines
7 Jul 09
hi john...thanks for this response... its nice that you are really happy in your religion now and your father must really teach and guide you very well and yes i hope that you can also do the same for your future children... but what if that day comes? that they want to shift and try other religion? maybe they are influenced by someone or something? how would you handle this? thanks again...i know my reply is very late...but its better to be late than never... thanks again!
@posh80 (44)
• India
20 May 09
That's a very difficult question, because I have been raise in a very strict family which consider religion has a major thing. I am in that root so if my children want to change their religion I will surely opposed
@ckyera (17342)
• Philippines
7 Jul 09
that's what i am talking about...this is really a problem and can raise much oppositions for the family who are very devoted to their religion and have strict policy on it... thanks for sharing...
@flaredust (728)
• Indonesia
20 May 09
I live in democratic & religious family. We have full faith of our religion, so I think that someday if i have children, they'll grow as faithful as me. For what purpose they change a religion if they live peacefully with existing religion? That only small probability of it. But if it has to happen, i won't cursed them. Religion is human right, if it has to happen, so be it
@ckyera (17342)
• Philippines
7 Jul 09
children might change religion coz there's so many things outside our hom that may influenced them...and they become aware and curious... but i think with proper guidance and teaching they can stick to your religion...no matter what! thanks!
@munkie (12)
• Philippines
20 May 09
As you said, we have our own preference regarding religion. I am a parent with one child. I think, that it is custom(in most religions) that the child follow his parent's religion, especially if he was baptized in it. If ever the time comes when my child becomes self-aware, he can change his religion(as long as the religion is acceptable to us), if ever he wants to, as long as he tells us his point of view (why he would want to change his religion and stuff) about it.
@ckyera (17342)
• Philippines
7 Jul 09
hi, thanks for sharing... have a good day!
@eweible (15)
• United States
20 May 09
I would most defniately let my kids change their religion when i choose to have them. I would raise them with the traits and values that make someone a In my opinion, all religion is a good thing, as long as it emphasizes being a good person. I believe if i raised my kids well they would not choose to change their religion.
@ckyera (17342)
• Philippines
7 Jul 09
yes it is...but you know, there are so many things that might influence the feelings, thoughts and beliefs of our children...no matter how we teach them, no matter how we try...there's always a possibility for them to have different beliefs from us... thanks!
@hotsummer (12923)
• Philippines
20 May 09
i believe children should have the freedom to choose their religion. but we have to guide them at first when they are still young. but in the end they are still the one to choose what is best religion for them though i would appreciate if they will go with my same faith. but that is not always possible. some people just grow up with their own beliefs.
@ckyera (17342)
• Philippines
7 Jul 09
thanks for that hotsummer! i agree...parents are here for guidance and support...decision goes with the child...freedom should be given. thanks again!
• United States
20 May 09
If a child is of age "puberty?" and actively researches and is exposed to many religions-then I say yes. But; as with everything else in life, making major changes without proper knowledge and a conserted effort to explore ALL options,is making unknowledgeable decitions. There are so many "hard core" religious zealots out the trying to convert our children that we have to have a strong guiding hand. If the child is showing a real questioning of your faith give them the opportunity to explore other avenues. "Guide" them carefully away from the destructive societies that are out there but offer them ample opportunity to get a good view of the more grounded ones. There is an old saying: "If you love something set it free.If it comes back it's meant to be". If your solid with your beliefs, teach them well, don't push, and offer support,; you have a 50/50 chance they will come around.LOL
@ckyera (17342)
• Philippines
7 Jul 09
hi gypsy! thanks...i think i have nothing to add...very well said. thanks!
1 person likes this
@Hedwig (284)
• China
20 May 09
I am not married yet ,but I think that I wouldn't care whether my future child will follow my religion or not. Everyone has his or her own freedom, incluing choosing the religion. If I force my child into my belief, maybe it will bring no good and will only make he or she hate me as well as my religion. Therefore, I think it is better to let the child choose his or her own religion.
@ckyera (17342)
• Philippines
7 Jul 09
oh hedwig hello! i think you will be a good and understanding parent... you have a point there, that it is really possible that our children will hate us and our religion if we impose it to them...let just guide them and support them...i think it will not be wrong if we show them the faith we believe in and then let them decide... thanks!
• Philippines
20 May 09
hi!for me, i would respect the decision of my future children will be. It's not that im not concern about their belief or internat destination.! But as a parent and you knows that your religion is true based on the Bible then as early as the child grows you must teach her about the bible. As what the Proverb says Train up in a child in the way he should go and when he is old he shall not depart from it. Its not forcing the child but teaching him and let him realize things.
@ckyera (17342)
• Philippines
7 Jul 09
hi posh! i agree with you...if you think that you are on the right religion...then you will not allow your child to go away from it and from his childhood, you will teach him the teachings from the bible and the importance of the religion you're into... i like the verse you put here...i agree...
@hramdatt (137)
• United States
20 May 09
no, i will never let my child change his/her religion due to what i say. that would make me guilty if they are to encounter some difficulty because i have force them in changing their religion. for until they have reached an age enough to think and plan for them self then they should seek what religion they want to get involve with. how long they are under my control their religious involvement would be normal to what they want, that is if they choose to remain involved or not. changing their religion should be of a good explanation.
@ckyera (17342)
• Philippines
7 Jul 09
ah yes got your point... but you must remember that our children will grow up, will start to ask question, will think, will look for what they want, they might be influenced by others...and so many possibilities that may encourage them to change their religion... thanks!