why Do we always look for trouble?

May 19, 2009 10:21am CST
i for one always end up in a fight or an argument with my husband or kids for very trivial things, and after the fight i wonder why the hell i did it. it was not worth all that trouble and getting upset . Why do we do these stuff is something i can never figure out. Any answers?
2 people like this
5 responses
• United States
27 May 09
I try my best not to fight with my husband but its impossible. He gets on my nerves with his macho want to be act. O yes he thinks he is the best on everything and he hates when I try to help him because he dose not need help. But he gets mad if I make him see that I'm right on something or if I don't try to help him so I don't understand. I wish I new the answer to your question but I also ask my self the same question. And I have tried many things so we wont fight but if we don't fight he would start to ask me "is there something wrong? are you mad at me". I guess our love must be strong or we would not be together. Good Luck. :)
1 person likes this
@dmrone (747)
• United States
19 May 09
Hi sweetnsalty!! I wish i knew the answer, i would share it. Sometimes i do the same thing, and then wonder why i even went down that road. It is something i have been working on trying to stop. I have come quite a way in stopping this unwanted and unnecessary arguments between myself and my family. I hope you get some answers.
• India
19 May 09
i wish the same.
• Malaysia
19 May 09
I think to have a peaceful life with no trouble is living in utopia so we can just try our best to avoid conflict and make our life as happy and out of trouble we can do but sometimes it is just unavoidable. I think in your case, we just sometimes need to vent our anger and frustrations somewhere which is why we get into these type of fights and sometimes our ego is being challenged even if it's trivial stuff. I think important is we learn how to control ourselves whenever the same thing is brought up but sometimes this cycle is purposelessly developed.
@abkinsey (173)
• United States
19 May 09
I live my life by the motto, "Don't sweat the small stuff!" Honestly, it's not worth it. When my husband and I first met there were a couple of times where something little set me off and I regretted it. It was unnecessary stress for both of us and I haven't treated him that way since. I try to pick my battles and I also raise any genuine concerns I may have in a calm communicative way during our evening "check-in." These days I hardly ever have anything I want to raise, but it's good to have a predetermined time to raise concerns in a calm and adult manner when I really do need to. Honestly, I think that most of the time the little things people get upset about are actually about something other than what they think they're about. For instance, someone is upset because they left their clothes on the floor. That's not really about the clothes. It's actually about control, wanting to control the other person's behavior. It seems to me that when people accept that they cannot control other people, places, and things, petty arguments tend to go by the wayside. Then comes the realization that the only things we really can control are our own actions and reactions. Life is so much easier that way. :-)
• United States
28 May 09
I don't know but me and my wife always do it if we are not fighting for what we want to see on tv we are fighting for our kids. She will try to tell me what I do and say to them when they are bad and I do the same to her. And the days that don't fight I feal acourd I love her she is the mother of my kids and the love of my life. I guess it might be all the stress that we have.