Follow your gut feeling or what other people say?

@oyenkai (4396)
Philippines
May 20, 2009 12:01am CST
Sometimes we underestimate the logic behind our own gut feelings - we consider them simply as "instinct" but we do not realize that many of these "gut feelings" are our subconscious pointing us to what it believes is the right decision. Also, in making decisions, we often ask for other people's advise - thinking that we'll add their views to our pros and cons list. I am in such a decision-making situation right now. I have this strong gut feeling to do option A but everybody else tells me to do option B. I'm still feeling stubborn and I truly believe option A is the best - plainly because option B is particularly from the point of view of the people indirectly involved. Have you ever been in a similar situation? Which one did you end up following, and how did it go? Would you rather follow your own gut feeling or would you rely on other people's judgment of your own situation?
5 people like this
18 responses
@omiami (412)
• Malta
20 May 09
I know how difficult it is to make a decision. Its makes part of our lives. We make decisions everyday but there are certain decisions which take more time and which are very difficult. I am that type of person which likes to know the opinion of my closest family members and friend. I cannot be sure that if I choose A, it will be better than to choose B or vice versa, but in my opinion I will choose the one I feel close to me the most. It could be the one, the others are telling me to choose or the could be the other one. None of them gives you 100% security but I would rather take the one, that my heart is telling me to choose especially if I have the feelings that you are feeling. If anything comes wrong dont blame yourself. You cannot know what will happen in neither A or B.
3 people like this
@surajben (262)
• India
20 May 09
Luck plays a great role, i believe
@omiami (412)
• Malta
20 May 09
I think you are right! I do agree with you! Although one has to reason things out before taking any decision, as we said, we wont know the results and then luck has to take place.
@oyenkai (4396)
• Philippines
21 May 09
I don't particularly agree on the "luck" part. If it were just luck then whatever you chose would have resulted in the same thing, right?
@arkasen (748)
• India
20 May 09
I always take decision on my won. I may listen to others advice but the final decision will be mine and I do what I feel right to do. I always belief in the proverb that "No risk no gain". If I have strong gut feeling for something then I will do only that no matter what the other people say. The reason is that at latter time I do not to blame anyone else for my condition. If I gain something for the decision I have taken then I would like to praise myself and not others. Same is the case when decision goes wrong. I don't want to blame others. So for me I will always follow my gut feeling.
3 people like this
@oyenkai (4396)
• Philippines
20 May 09
That seems like a very good point. You're right, I wouldn't want to end up blaming others for what THEY thought was right for me when I could have simply followed my self! Thanks!
1 person likes this
@surajben (262)
• India
20 May 09
Aren't there situations when we are not able to take decisions on our own, when we will need other peoples help.
@oyenkai (4396)
• Philippines
21 May 09
@surajben - I believe those are also the times when we don't even have a gut feeling to guide our decisions :) It's different from having two options: between our gut feeling and other people's advise.
@hotsummer (10526)
• Philippines
20 May 09
how dependable is this gut feeling. cause we can't tell for sure if we have the right feeling over something. but we can't always trust what other people believe or say. so it will really depend on the situation. and it takes some experience to know which one to believe more.
3 people like this
@surajben (262)
• India
20 May 09
I totally agree with you.
@oyenkai (4396)
• Philippines
21 May 09
@hotsummer I guess it's because I rarely have gut feelings and I particularly rely on my personal reasoning when making a decision. Except that this specific case doesn't have that personal reasoning benefits because of certain givens :P Which one do you often follow, based on your experience?
@harryt123 (327)
• United States
20 May 09
I actually have come to situations in my life that I have followed my gut feeling instead of having thought about what I should do and the outcome has been one that turned out to be satisfactory. Sometimes we have to make quick decisions whether it be for work or in our personal lives and don't have much time to think quickly and usually the first thing that is thought of by our instinct and the gut feeling that we have usually is a good one to go with. In a perfect situation I would want to take my gut feeling and what someone else has suggested and see which would bring out the better outcome in a particular situation and I would go with that in mind.
@oyenkai (4396)
• Philippines
20 May 09
I think that's what's bothering me at the moment. I have this gut feeling...and then I have a whole day to think whether I go with that gut feeling or with what other people say about it.
1 person likes this
@surajben (262)
• India
20 May 09
I think it always depends on the situation, we cannot prejudge things.
@pickoy (733)
• Philippines
20 May 09
I always listen to my gut feeling, it never failed. Whenever other people contradict to a decision and my gut feeling gives a "go" signal, I listen more to myself. I just feel that you'll regret it if it ends up in a positive way should you have listened to yourself and its not a good feeling that in some way you feel like blaming other people for listening to them... it also depends, suppose these people we're talking about had a prior experience about a certain matter then the tendency is to follow what they're saying; it won't hurt to try though if a person is a hard learner, but for people who always love to take a chance they usually listen more to themselves for the sake of experiencing it and hoping it won't end up the same as the others. The thing is, either you do something or you don't do anything people will always have something to say and more often its against what you believe...
2 people like this
@oyenkai (4396)
• Philippines
21 May 09
"other people's past experience" was a good input... I don't think they have ever been in my situation. They're simply imagining the scene as I describe it - so it's not the "real" situation. I guess if any one of them was ever in the same situation, that might have altered my gut feeling because proof that it will turn out bad is present. Something like "That happened to me before and I followed my gut feeling and I ended up in deep sh!t" would have turned the scales.
@pickoy (733)
• Philippines
21 May 09
Well if that's the case, I don't see anything wrong about following your own intuition even if you're up against a thousand people saying "no". I have also been so curious about this feeling, a whisper - questioning the validity of a certain decision... I always go with it coz I don't like the feeling of not being in control of my own decisions; I "only" get influenced with outside input if in cases, like you said, there's already an evidence that could sway me... coz I would be hard-headed not to listen to it. I know you're familiar with the story of the moth that got burned for not listening to its mother... the mother obviously has no prior experience of getting burned but she know for sure what will happen... there's no evidence there but the logic is pretty strong... its exactly my point on how outside input could convince me to listen... When in doubt, I follow the voice inside me coz whatever outcome it may be I'm sure that I can handle it and there's no reason for me to blame others and what's left is really to stand for it...
@donsky14 (5961)
• Philippines
20 May 09
I remember one of my colleague said that 90% of women instincts are true. I've been in that situation, but, instincts need to be supported by facts, not just instincts.
2 people like this
@oyenkai (4396)
• Philippines
20 May 09
Then what if my "facts" are based on personal experience? Based on how I believe the other person would react? :P I know it's a vague question because you don't know the exact context, but what do you think about my situation?
1 person likes this
@donsky14 (5961)
• Philippines
20 May 09
What I mean by facts is to investigate on the matter and not just base it on personal experience.
@jazel_juan (15753)
• Philippines
20 May 09
yes, there were times when i would think that i would like to go home and i would then have this feeling that i mustt not because something will happen..and i am usually right..hehehe and sometimes its scary
2 people like this
@oyenkai (4396)
• Philippines
20 May 09
That certainly is crazy! I have never felt that before...your instincts against danger are pretty good! Do you also have that same feeling towards your friends' safety?
1 person likes this
@surajben (262)
• India
20 May 09
Good guess work, what is to happen will happen.
@yonkie (440)
• Philippines
20 May 09
I am the type of individual who loves to solicit ideas or opinions from different people especially here in mylot. Even if some are convincing, I still follow my gut feeling. I am the one who will face the consequence of my action so I should be the one who will decide on what to do. I am the one who knows best what is going on. I surely follow my own instinct. If time comes that I was wrong, then that will surely be another lesson learned in my life.
2 people like this
@oyenkai (4396)
• Philippines
21 May 09
Soliciting ideas help us see other people's point of view - I guess that's when we hope that whatever they say may help us see something we missed. Sometimes we realize that our gut feelings are a bit altered because of some new knowledge but unless something trumps a subconscious logic, we still end up having a strong gut feeling :)
@surajben (262)
• India
20 May 09
It always depends on the person advising and the person taking decision. If i am confident with me then i do not have to listen to others. If i am confident about the person advising me then I do not have to think my way. There are some situations where we will have to count others suggestions and there are situations where we should not count what others say. It all depends on the the situation.
@oyenkai (4396)
• Philippines
21 May 09
I think you're missing out on the whole "gut feeling" part :) If you're confident on yourself that means that you have reasons to back up your decision. Gut feeling doesn't have that.
@Beertjie (977)
• South Africa
20 May 09
You have the gut feeling and all the advice from the different friends. At the end of the day you have to make the choice, and if it goes wrong, they don't have to deal with it, you sit with the concequenses. If you trust your gut, then if it was wron, you can blame youself and make changes. If you listen to friends, which is sometimes good, but if things go wrong, you can't blame them. They will not fix the problem either. I say listen to all the advice and weigh it up against your gut feeling. See what comes out tops. It is also a good idea to make the pros and cons list, to see what will benifit you most in the end. I wish you the best.
2 people like this
@oyenkai (4396)
• Philippines
21 May 09
I guess that's what's difficult with the gut feeling - you never have a pros and cons list that will supplement your decision :P I guess that's why it's different from "reason" or "logic" although it might bear subconscious logic that we just couldn't figure out consciously :)
@aseretdd (13736)
• Philippines
20 May 09
I suggest you follow your gut feeling... that is always the best way to go... and if that fails... you can never blame anyone but yourself... it is not always nice to look for a scapegoat... or someone to point a finger at... since we are all responsible for the choices we make... why not just follow what our instinct tells us to... I always do that... and most of the time... the decision is always right...
@oyenkai (4396)
• Philippines
20 May 09
I'm kinda scared of getting in trouble LOL on this specific situation, it's either someone would be outright mad at me and I'd end up in deep sh!t or I can just attempt to get away with it and admit the truth when cornered (LOL) - don't get me wrong, I didn't do anything awful. It just LOOKS awful haha
@sjvenden27 (1847)
• United States
20 May 09
There are several ways to answer this question... First thing I would say is if you gut thinks different then what your friend suggest, then ask yourself why.. Its it because of the fact that you really want to do the other option or is it because of the fact that everyone else doesnt want you to do that? Yes I have been in that type of situation several times, i have gone with what my friends and close family has said, and i have gone a totally different direction.. In the end I had to make the choice, and either way I went it was my choice and had to life with the outcome... Basically with whatever your particular situation is, you need to be confortable with the outcome.. If thats with what your friends think, great. If not then go against the waves.. Its your choice!!!
@oyenkai (4396)
• Philippines
21 May 09
You're right, it's perfectly my choice :) I particularly liked what you said about asking myself if I'm simply being stubborn and I *just* want to do that certain thing even though it's unreasonable. Fortunately, that's not the case :P I simply think that I can't explain the situation enough for them to understand my actual stance.
• United States
21 May 09
Basically need to figure out which choice will make you happier. Or which choice is the lesser of the two evils.. If you can not live with the choice you are about to make then its not the right one.. Maybe that will help..
@JOIEMARVIC (2341)
• Philippines
21 May 09
Making decisions is a tough thing to do. Personally ,I seek advices from friends and family. Then I access this suggestions. Sometimes we are to blinded with our problems we often miss certain details about the issue we are trying to deal with, so seeking advice from people who may see a clearer picture of the problem will be of great help. when deciding, I always follow what I feel is right, or what I feel will be more beneficial. I do take into cosideration their advices,but I always follow what I feel is right. If I made a right decision,well,done, If not, I only have my self to blame. One of my motto in life is " I would rather make a mistake because I followed my heart, and not because I followed someone else's".
1 person likes this
@oyenkai (4396)
• Philippines
21 May 09
I think I too would rather make MY mistake than other people's mistakes by following what THEY thought was right for me :) Thank you.
@Bradpete (822)
• Philippines
21 May 09
I follow myself if they are right I will follow them.
1 person likes this
@oyenkai (4396)
• Philippines
21 May 09
But how would you know which one is right?
@technoobs (406)
• Philippines
21 May 09
It seems that I go in between and have my own observation and conclusion basing from the fact. Some people are like to follow their gut feeling when having such situations that commands them to follow what they feel. Some are that of easily to judge with what people say not thinking of what really is with their feelings. At times I get caught to these types of situation, seems to let it be investigated first, proving the truth and later what about the feelings. That to be in a balance conclusion, what was proved and having that feeling that makes me follow what should really be it.
1 person likes this
@oyenkai (4396)
• Philippines
21 May 09
But there are certain times when we don't have the opportunity to weigh the pros and cons or to prove or disprove the facts. What do you do then?
• United States
20 May 09
Don't forget that you know yourself and your desires better than anyone else. IF you can justify your decision to yourself it really does not matter what other people think. Good Luck
1 person likes this
@oyenkai (4396)
• Philippines
21 May 09
That was a wonderful input! I only have to satisfy myself with the reasons I have and as long as I honestly believe on the validity of those reasons, then it will all turn out well :)
@kiran8 (15319)
• Mangalore, India
20 May 09
Hi oyenkai, go for option A, I have always fololwed my gut feeling and when I have done otherwise I have always regretted it. I agree with your views that what we call instinct or gut feeling is nothing but the sum total of our experiences and other related feelings that are dormant in our mind. I always trust my own subconscious better than other people's views..
@oyenkai (4396)
• Philippines
21 May 09
I guess it shows how much we know ourselves even we don't "know" it :)
@xParanoiax (6997)
• United States
24 May 09
I like unput from others, generally, but I will always automatically go with my intuition. Not once has it steered me wrong, it's always right, so I can't feel like my trust in it's misplaced. I'm not saying I'M always right, just that part of me...when it chooses to speak, always is.
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