Leaving all behind....

how are you? are you sleeping, eating and taking a bath? do i sound silly asking you those questions? i just thought that if you could do all three regularly, you're still fairly ok. just remember that life goes on and so must we. (have you both decided? was it final? was that the reason for this post?) nobody will tell you that moving on would be easy. if anyone ever did, then maybe they're just pretending to be brave about it. a few years ago, i cried the hardest over a guy i had to let go. i was the one who left him but it was more painful for me. if i didn't, i'll just end up hating the guy. i left the country and clammed up. i couldn't tell a soul. i cried in buckets. it took me several months to get back on track. i wasn't always feeling down. it's only when i'm alone in my bedroom that i'd feel the pain. but i learned to talk about it and little by little, the pain started to ease off. it was gradual and a very slow process but nevertheless, the pain wore off in time. i was a changed person by the time i got back to the philippines, more calm, more composed, more mature but a little distant especially with guys. but you know what? that guy who caused me a heart break that time became one of my close friends after, professionally speaking, since we belong in the same field. even when i moved on to another relationship. we try to move on even when it's really hard because deep inside we know that it's the only way to go. no sidestepping or backstep, it's always moving forward, one step at a time, one foot after the other, alternating, until we learn to walk again. i was thankful to be surrounded by family and friends. and the kids... brought the kid in me back. i was thankful on my work in the NGO at the time. being busy made me learn my craft well. a blessing in disguise. there are things we learn to accept and things we learn to let go. what we are, are the choices we have made. what happens may not be our own choosing, but how we deal with it is always our choice.

it is true. i am curently facing very serious problem in office as well a ssoem moderate problem in personal front. I think all we should leave behind. But these are the things that are not so easy to forget. instead of lamenting, we should fight our way forward.

With simple events we can often just move on with life and leave them behind us. With trauma and emotional situations however, we will need to resolve these before we can move on. We need to be complete and finish with them. As a therapist, this is what most of my work involves. People come to me quite often because they can't let go of something that has upset them or traumatised them. The only way to let it go is to keep working it out in the conscious mind, until there are no more feelings attached to it. This is often referred to as desensitization - where the client is de-sensitized meaning that he/she is no longer sensitive to the situation. It can get a bit more complicated that what it sounds like here though as many other factors can come into play. - Derek

It is not always easy. I think one of the best ways it writing everything down from the past that bothers you. Then burn it. Someone suggested that to me a couple of weeks ago. It is a way to burn the past and move on to the future. Good luck. Wishing you all the best. Take care.

There are some who feel frightened by the very though of change...but change IS an inevitable state. However, TWO separate behavior patterns occur, based on our emotional response. We either accept it graciously, and incorporate it into our daily lives...or we do not, and will give all sorts of reasons as to WHY we can't. For example: Some "maintain" a fear/threat persona and can only perceive change as being either a "fight or flight" situation. Others on the other hand, see change as an "opportunity to learn" from an experience...they respond by taking creative action. This is what separates the two. One is a REACTION to change (in the form of stagnation), or "maintenance cycle", the other is a RESPONSE to change" (in the form of acceptance), or "growth cycle". KNOWING the difference, is what MAKES the difference.

Many are impatient with this and try to leave before all the lessons are learned. It often takes many years. The main thing is to continue with your life and not give a lot of attention to the past. You only have so much time and energy so apply this to the present and let the past take care of it's self. Blessings

Sometimes there's no choice. Actually in times of problems where you need to make a new life for yourself, a new future, there's no real choice in staying in whatever was. I've done it and can do it, because I'm good at surviving. Because I've always been equal parts rational and emotional. I feel it, but at the same time the knowledge that it's necessary carries me through...because I rarely do things for my own sake, but for more stupid, noble reasons. Like those around me, for the world, for causes, etc'. For the belief that I have stuff left to do, that there's still those who need me, etc. It's only been lately that I've gotten faith that because of all this, because of who I am, that there is a good path for me to walk. However many twists and turns I take.

it takes alot of doing & if something is close to your heart it's even harder. u do have to motivate yourself. the sad part it all up to u. none can do it for u. if there was an eaasy button for that i bet everyone would have one.

In the life of man, problems are always there. No matter what how hard we try not to have or not to experience this problems in our life, we can't stop it since problems is connected in our life. Most people who experienced very difficult problems can't find their self anymore. They tend to end their life when they lose hope. Some people are strong that no matter what problems will come in their life, they still stand up and continue their life with a smile, encouragement and hope. Living all behind isn't easy to do especially if there is too much pain and disappointment. When I encounter problems in life, I'll make sure that it won't affect so much to me so that I can easily let it go and able to move on easily. I won't let the problems be ruled in my life, I won't let it destroy the hopes and encouragements that I have. Moving on is very simple for as long as you'll let go the past and never ever try to return or go back to it. I believe that moving on is very simple its what we left behind that makes it difficult. If we just let go the past and stop hoping and holding on to it, we can easily move on and continue our life for the future. Past is always a past and no matter what happened, we can't go back.

I don't know if I was lucky when I got rejected by a girl. That time I was not on mylot, otherwise you would have known that well in adavance. I got rejected by a girl, whom I loved very much. She was the girl, I could do anything for whom but she left me and left me with tears. I was in tears for next 7-8 days! But you don't have to do anything but make sure that you remain busy with your life. The more busy you will be, the easier it will be for you to move on!

In realistic view, moving on is simple as they say but what it leaves behind is hard. Picking up the pieces of the memories is painful. each little fragment of what used to bears the unfrgettable imprint of the touch, echoes of failures, and shadows of pain. In my point of view, moving on is something to do with your faith, of what you believd in life.It as miracle. It really happens if you have faith that it will happen. It is getting to a ceratin place in your life where you can look back and learned things to become a better person. Im talking about pressing on for perfection , bet someonone needs to press on according with the prupose of his heart,forgetting the things which are behind and reaching the things ahead.

In my opinion, when it terms of a problems I'll make the things to continue go on and make it solve immediately. And that case, you must be developed your self-esteem and make it properly right thing to do. And before that, you made yourself being think positive thinker and always relax and cool for it.

Overcoming many obstacles in your life is not an easy task. In order to do this, one must realize that we are not perfect and can't have a solution to all problems. You must believe in yourself and gain strength from within yourself. You must stay focused on overcoming the feelings of despair. Many times we create our own worries and don't realize that sometimes our problems do resolve on their own. Leaving it all behind is something that takes alot of courage and strength to accept that we are not perfect and can overcome many obstacles if we just look within ourselves and most important believe.

Leaving all behind is very difficult especially if its a realy big problem. It will always stay in your mind . As the saying goes "Time heals all wounds" it would realy take time. When your still on the process of recovery be with your friends and family . Being with them would realy help alot.

When I am trying to get beyond a troubling behavior, I have to make up my mind that tomorrow is a new day. I also have to change just one thing at time. I cannot be perfect tomorrow, but I can be better, and I can do better.

it's funny but someone i knew had said almost the same thing for me, try to "MOVE ON". but the question is how? first is, how on Earth could i possibly accept a fact like that? how could i be able to live a good life knowing that the person i cared and loved the most is gone? if only crying can do something else to ease all the grief i am having right now, i wouldn't mind crying all my life. moving on seems to be easy but its not, as what i had experience, i think that it takes a lot of determination so that one day i can finally say that i am alright and i can live my life again. she also said that "TIME WILL TELL"..."LIFE GOES ON"... but one thing i am certain about, things will never be the same.

To leave everything behind is something indeed very difficult and I pray to God that you people don't come across, it is apinful and something to leave something good behind is worst than painful still I have done it and today though I have much better I still remember everything clearly.

At this point of time am going through the same phase and i know how difficult it is to get through but feel the best SOLUTION for it is to leave it upto TIME. Its not worth bothering about your problems coz it will only lead you to bad health and burdern you more. Problems are a part of life without which our life is meaningless. The only way to get through this phase is to be positive at every step and never let your problem rule your mind coz it only takes your peace of mind away. [/i]