Husband or employe
By desteny114
@desteny114 (886)
United States
May 20, 2009 5:32pm CST
My husband has been unemployed for almost a year and we have 2 years together with a one year old baby that is his and 11 year old daughter that is from my previos marrige. I started working when my baby was 3 months old until one week ago becasue I hated my job and my manager was rude and I had problems with him. So I told my husband that it was time for him to get a job 2 months before I left my job but he did nothing. When I was working I payed all the bills at home also his car and insurance payments, food and his cell phone and also I gave him for gas and around $50.00 dollars a week for what ever he wanted. And all I asked was for him to help me with the kids and house chors but he did about 20% because after work I had to clean and cook and also pay my neighbord to babysit my 1 year old. Now that I'm unemployed I tell him everyday to look for a job but there is always an excus.
My questions are, Was my desission the right one to make him mature? What other thing can I do?
I'm so tierd of baving to be a single mom of three well that is the way I feel with the way my husban is. "PLEAS HELP" it will mean a lot to me.
1 response
@meandmy3 (2227)
• United States
20 May 09
I am going to be honest with you and I am not being mean. You did not do the right thing, you did not do what was right for your family or best for your family. You have bills to pay and children to feed. You in fact needed your job, if your husband is not going to work then you need to work. You need to provide for your family and make sure that you have food on the table and can pay your bills. You in fact, by doing this, have put your family in a worse position.
your husband does need to get a Job I agree with that, but going about it this way is only going to harm your family.
@desteny114 (886)
• United States
21 May 09
Thank you for your honest answer I know it was a wrong decision but it was either having to put up with my discusting manager and his drinking and swering at work or to be with my kids that my husband did not take care off. I know that is not going to be easy for me to get another job but the good thing is that I have money stashed and my husband those not know and its for emergencys such as bills and grocerys and since we don't pay rent or mortgage because we live at my moms house that its payed for and she lives in another house in the back that she made just for her. But I'm going to let him feel the presure that I have had for more than a year and hopefully either he get a job or moves out. Because there is no way I'm goign to be working when his not an give him everything in a gold plate thats why a marrige is also called a union. But ones again I'm really tankful for your answer I hope if you have any coments on what to do to make him mature it will be great.
@meandmy3 (2227)
• United States
21 May 09
I am not sure you can make him mature, how old is he anyway and what is his family saying about his inability to support his family? As long as you can feed your children and provide for them then you are fine but you have to put them first, even if it means you are in not such a great situation at work. Sorry you are having a hard time, but it does seem you need to tell him get a job or get out. Sometimes tough love is the best love.
@desteny114 (886)
• United States
21 May 09
He's 27 and he loves those noisy cars that run fast that have nitros or what ever it is he also wants to join a club for car like those. And his family has no idea because we don't live in the same state and his always telling them that everythign in ok and that he those not have a stable job but that he has side jobs. And that with that he is able to make most of the payments and that with the money I used to get it was all for things like clothing and to go out. But I hope that he will be responsible for the family that he has and Loves him. Like you said tough love is what im trying to give becase I don't tell him to get a job just like that. I tell him in the best ways I can like "you should try something other so you will have experience in diferent files" or "I know you can work at any place you want because you are smart and a hard worker" But I guess time will tell what it's going to happen. :)
