How will you feel when the person you loved getting married to another?
By subha12
@subha12 (18441)
India
May 21, 2009 1:29am CST
It is something that has recently happened with my room mate.She truly loved the guy. the guy was first her good friend. they he only proposed her, after his 'reported' break up from his then girl friend. My friend was skeptical initially as she knew he had a GF. But He insisted that there is nothing now. this was going on. He even started getting close to her. She resisted as she was confused. By the time she fell in love with him with close proximity each day. But she later discovered that he is still in constant touch with his GF. She was very hurt and confronted him. He denied initially but later admitted they have very formal communication. My friend felt cheated and hurt. Later the guy behaved very badly with my friend and they were not in contact. All these times he was taking undue advantage from my friend. But cheated her. She felt bad.But I know still in her heart, she loved him. Now she came to know he is getting married to his GF. It is breaking my friend to pieces. why this guy took advantage of her? why he cheated her? what was her fault?
In this scenario what you would have felt? I feel sorry for her.
5 people like this
35 responses
@icesmile (7160)
• Romania
21 May 09
What happened with your friend, can make somebody to be crazy. for sure.
I know how she feel...is terrible when person who you love more, will marry.
In my opinion, even i am a good person. , i ll curse him never to be happy.
Is not nice, but somebody who really are in love, will feel that die.
Of course that God will punish him, if he lie a woman.
I was in a relation, and i know what i say...you feel all soul in many, many pieces. is so sad really, i am really sorry for your friend.
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
21 May 09
I feel sorry for your friend too, but be thankful that she recognized him for what he is and controlled herself. Many girls have wasted their lives like this, in loving an ungrateful and unethical person yet they have never realized the truth. And there are many guys out there who take advantage of the gullibility of such girls and squeeze them mentally, physically and financially. I think its best for your friend that the truth has come out.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
21 May 09
that really sucks, he used her until he got is old gf back, but that is why people should not date until they are totally over the old gf or bf
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
21 May 09
This is a scenario where the best woman wins. It is a game of love and happens to everyone once or many times in their life. She has to accept the he is not fated to be with him. Though it is heartbreaking but life must go on and it is a great lesson learned that not all love and romance ends with a happy ending. You have to kiss many many toads before meeting your prince charming. The one you call your soul-mate.
1 person likes this
@rymebristol (1808)
• Philippines
21 May 09
a few years ago, my world revolves around my best friend, she is a woman. she is happily married now, with her 1st baby.
i admit that i was sad when i she told me that she is going to get married, it struck me the most. she even made me their "BEST MAN" in their wedding. i was hesitant truthfully to tell to attend the ceremony but my uncle said that my best friend would be very delighted to see me walk with them in the aisle. and i need to accept the fact that she is now getting married.
i had manage to attend the ceremony together with my mom, i tried my very best to keep my emotion intact especially when i made a speech in front of the whole guest.
acceptance is the key in something like that. and it had prove to be effective.
1 person likes this
@med889 (5941)
•
21 May 09
I would have felt very bad and then angry and then nervous and then very awkward. I wish I will not be in this type of situation as I am sure to feel very lonely to handle the matter, I feel sorry for your friend, I hope she will a bit okay in a few months, oh my God the boy had less consideration about her and I hope something better is reserved for her.
@anonymili (3138)
•
22 May 09
Sadly this is part of growing up and realising that people do not always mean what they say. I've never been in a situation where I loved someone who did then ran off and married someone else he was seeing the whole time he was seeing me. There are a lot of men who do this and this is how we become tougher in nature when we get treated this way, but also women do the same sort of thing to men so it works both ways. The guy was a jacka$$ and was probably keeping his options open and, erm, also you know that expression "having your cake and eating it" also springs to mind. There's no answer we can give you about why this guy did what he did, only he knows what's in his stupid head and I hope your friend steers completely clear of him now. Only time will heal her heart and one day she might love again - I can guarantee this is not going to kill her, she will love someone again one day but might not be as trusting to start off with as she's been hurt but time really will make the pain decrease. x
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
23 May 09
I feel sorry for your friend. However, she is lucky she discover the truth before marriage. It would be more hurt if it was discovered only after marriage. Whichever the case, it takes two hands to clap. There is no point questioning why he took advantage, and why he cheated. It is not going to turn back the clock. It is a fact that the guy cheated. What your friend can do is to accept the fact, take it as a lesson learnt and move on. In future relationships, just need to be more careful and avoid falling into the same trap twice.
@deborahkat (519)
• Brazil
21 May 09
I had a boyfriend some years ago. It was like the perfect relationship till I have to get back to brazil and not be able to go back to him anymore. We still kept in touch till nowadays. But then when he was able to visit brazil he went to visit his ex girlfriend´s family and found a girl there that he said was just a friend. They dated just for 2 weeks and some days ago he came telling me he has feelings for her and yesterday I saw on his orkut he changed his status to dating and she did the same. This really destroys a person, all the lies and so on. And this girl was all the time sending little in love comments to him and things like that on orkut and hurting me, and he telling me they were just friends. Something will be done by my part very soon. I can loose him for anybody else but not for her just for what she did to me. About your friend, she had no fault, was just too innocent. In this case if I was her I would take a long conversation with the GF for her to know what kind of man she will get married to.
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
22 May 09
OH! You also faced almost similar situation.
Your suggestion at the end of your response is worth acting upon.
@Ritchelle (3790)
• Philippines
23 May 09
that would be so painful i'd rather not talk or hear anything about it. but fate has a way of making things happen for the good of all concerned. just the fact that destiny didn't let them end up together means he's not suited for her.
@haiershen (1080)
• China
23 May 09
It is really bad,for me, i will get somebody to be cry some hours, then i will changed the mood to be find another job and then working hard since life must go on,seveal months ago,maybe i will realise that the guy was not responsible man and he is very awful.i will forgot him.why not lived with happiness ? time passed quickly,one day in the future, i will see something on the other angle,this doesn't matter for you and you will find your mr right whom will be love you for ever.
@agv0419 (3022)
• Philippines
21 May 09
If I were the girl I'm going to be disappointed and it is so painful to know that the guy you love going to marry someone not you. I think it hurst because the guy betrayed you and lied to you. Forget the guy and move on there someone there deserve your love than him. It's is very hard now to find a man who is honest and trustworthy.
1 person likes this
@drumgurl21 (58)
• Philippines
21 May 09
i would definitely be falling into pieces, not only did i have my heart ripped out but knowing the man i loved had someone else and they were to join in marriage would truly be unbearable, but inspite of this i know ill have to get through i believe in signs, and maybe this is one big one showing me there is someone better for me.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
22 May 09
Subha!
It is really sorry state of affairs that your friend was cheated, when she least expected it and she had put her trust on that guy. I think, your friend should console herself thinking that she came to know about that guy's intentions, when it was not too late. Had she been more intimate (may be physically) with that guy, she would have been in a more difficult situation. Though it is an after thought, but I feel that your friend is also to be blamed upto an extent, when she knew about that guy's previous affair, she should have taken adequate precations and she should not have trusted him blindly. Whateve has happened with her is really bad, she should try to forget it as a nightmare and she should not start thinking that all guys are bad, otherwise, she will not trust any guy in future.
@ketybhagat (4123)
• India
22 May 09
There are men in this world who are b******s. They are out to take what they want and leave her. Your friend must be feeling miserable after being treated so. Anybody would. What you can do now is to give her all your support and see that she comes out of her spell. Take her out, talk to her, anything. Dont let her mop. My sympathies with her.
@mgraham126 (156)
•
22 May 09
None of this was her fault he is damm greedy wanting two women he wanted to have his cake and eat it she had a lucky escape.
Mgraham126
@charlenmendoza (922)
• Philippines
22 May 09
I'm feeling her sadness, as of this moment all you need to do is just be her, never talked, just listen to her when she feels like talking. It is so painful when your love one married to another person and the most painful is knowing that you dont what went wrong to your relationship with that person. because you thought you've done your best to make it work. but we have remember that if its not for us, it will never be whatever you do to make him stay. It will take sometime before she can recover. But everybody like her family and friends make her feel that she is being loved by you guys.
@stormriders (104)
• Malaysia
22 May 09
this is true a frustrated for anybody who experience it. even, for myself, in my scenario it is slightly differs. maybe you as a reader can decide what is my story is all about. last time, i get crush with this woman but unfortunately she dont even know this. i keep it secret until the day she get marry, she tell me how bad she feel towards me because she is in love with me from the first time we meet and she thought i was the one rejecting her!!!guess what, i was shock and for the sake of her family, i just let go my feelings for her so that she can get marry and forget me...
@justmeh (188)
• Philippines
22 May 09
I would definitely be angry?who wouldn't be?Honestly,from what I sense,the guy was deeply inlove with his fiance just because they broke up recently that he looks for affection from other women and too bad that your friend was the one he chose to use. You cannot blame the guy for doing that totally nor your friend because if being skeptical cause they were all just victims of the events. What she should do right now is that to accept the fact that her boyfriend would marry his girlfriend though it's not an easy thing to do. It would really be hard for her to move on but just put in the mind that what have happened it's God's plan and for her to feel bad for the guy that won't do. She deserves someone better. and for you to be concerned is already a big help for her to get on with her life.
