is it ok for a teacher to fall in love with his student?

Philippines
May 25, 2009 8:33am CST
I am a language teacher at a young age. This gives me tne opportunity to meet and know other races. But, as a professional I must separate personal matters from the others. I had a student (of different race) and started to fall for her. And even though I tried to let her know what I feel, I never received any kind of rejection. Moreover, she became sweeter and more thoughtful... What is your stand concerning my positions as a respected individual and a mere victim of love?
6 people like this
70 responses
@meandmy3 (2228)
• United States
25 May 09
No it is not okay. As parents we trust the teachers with our children. if you are falling for one of your students you are breaking that bound of trust and well it is wrong. How old are you, how old is the student? regardless of her race, etc and if she flirts with you it is wrong.
• India
25 May 09
Well said, friend. You are absolutely right. If this is done, the trust that Parents' have on their children and the teacher are spoiled!
@meandmy3 (2228)
• United States
25 May 09
I know that if I found out that a teacher had made inappropriate gestures to one of my children I would hit the roof, teachers should not be in the position they are in if they can not keep their hands off the children. I am so glad that in the states we have laws that protect our children and that many schools have cameras in the class room to help prevent this thing from occurring. And before you tell me she is a Senior and you are just out of college, say 22, 23 years old, that is still abuse and is still aganist the law. And you deserve to lose your license and never be able to be around children again.
• India
28 May 09
i dont share d same sentiment as all des guys out here. In today's time a person knows whats right and whats wrong as soon as he/she is 15 yrs old. If u dont make up stories and try to take advantae of her i dont really see any problem. But if u have got other things on your mind(u knw what i mean) den its wrong and must not do it. i dont see why a teacher and a student cant be in love.
1 person likes this
@CMTS_87 (1340)
• Philippines
26 May 09
I am also a teacher. And as a teacher I think it is not proper to fall for your student. I think it is very unethical, especially when your student is very young compare to your age. Happy MyLotting!
@CMTS_87 (1340)
• Philippines
27 May 09
How sure are you that it would remain a secret or a "private thing" for a long time? Hehe! Thanks for the response! Happy MyLotting!
• United States
25 May 09
I think that it is normal. We as human beings cannot always control our feelings or attractions so I don't blame you for that part. One thing you have to consider is the fact that you're a teacher and you chose to take on certain responsibilities when it comes to your students. I just graduated college and I'm pretty sure one of my teachers had a crush on me. The most important thing is that you don't act on it. Another thing is the age difference, if you're a young college teacher then I can see how students may tempt you but if your student is much younger than you, you may want to get a different type of help. Hope this helps!
• United States
25 May 09
I agree with you... love is normal for everyone but he is a teacher and already told her and she accepts it. now there will be a problem if her parents found out. it would be better if you are not her teacher and the age is not far a part.
@eLsMarie (4347)
• Philippines
14 Jun 09
my god! even teachers nowadays are showing negative examples to the youth, is that were you trying to portray? i don't agree with how you immerse yourself to your students? sir/professor please be aware of the fact that the student's parents enrolled their children to study and not to have an affair with their teachers. please don't get offended.
• France
8 Jun 09
Its an awkward situation, no doubt..... believe me when I say that I know. Culturally it is an issue, but we are human beings, in our nature one cannot help who they may have feelings for. I am the student. I am still mad about my high school Art teacher. In simple, quiet ways we have communicated our feelings, but I graduated a year ago and we have yet to take steps toward a relationship. Be soft and careful moving toward something and do wait until she is out of your class to have a relationship. Leave it outside of the school, but don't let yourself loose something beautiful.
• France
8 Jun 09
Its an awkward situation, no doubt..... believe me when I say that I know. Culturally it is an issue, but we are human beings, in our nature one cannot help who they may have feelings for. I am the student. I am still mad about my high school Art teacher. In simple, quiet ways we have communicated our feelings, but I graduated a year ago and we have yet to take steps toward a relationship. Be soft and careful moving toward something and do wait until she is out of your class to have a relationship. Leave it outside of the school, but don't let yourself loose something beautiful.
• Philippines
7 Jun 09
The student-teacher relationship is indeed prohibited in the professional teacher's code of ethics, but if you really love each other, love can wait.
• Malaysia
7 Jun 09
i never tried it before but i have a friend tried to develop relationship with her violin teacher it is not a easy way to go on at the end the teacher choose to end it in spite of the preasure you should know it how much you love her and what you can do for her? to reduce the hurt you bring to her after together, you should think all the possible situation that wil happen.. if you have no the ability to burden all of these please dun make yourself hard, and her too she mayb a victim because your love.. all the best to u:)
@britt_200 (1227)
• United States
3 Jun 09
that def depends on how old she is...
• United States
3 Jun 09
Never! If you claim to be a respected individual, then stand for it as a deed, not just as a descrpptive word to add to a manly self-appreciation. Females will always be "sweeter". That's part of their universal appeal. You will always be attracted to them, but as a person of respect and authority, you have to set the bounds of decency and trust. Wait for the time when you would have changed your calling and/or both of you are out of that classroom boundary - years perhaps - if you are meant for each other, then love will find its way as a stream will cascade down the slope!
@sharksfin (1091)
• Philippines
2 Jun 09
There is nothing wrong with falling in love. It's a feeling we are all entitled to. But, of course, you have to know your boundaries. If you are truly in love with your student, wait until your student finishes her studies. Your love should wait to keep your reputation clean.
• India
2 Jun 09
it depends on his age, culture and country.... students are going school to study not making love with teacher... if teacher is doing like that then the future of the country will cery bad.... then all students are trying to love with their teacherssss........
@rusdi123 (24)
• Indonesia
2 Jun 09
Yes, that is ok for you if you fall in love with your students, because you are human so it is very human if fall in love with someone else even she/he is your students. But you must be careful, you have to make the different when she/he become your student and whe she/he become your boy or girl friend. in the class you have to treat him/her as your students you may not give exception from other students. All thing are the same. If you want to make date with him/her please go far away from the school and in appropriate day and time, not school time.
31 May 09
Woah this stuff only happens in tv shows, well thats what I thought. Theres two choices you quit your teaching job and go out with her and second choice is that you move to a different school and forget about her. Or you can just kill yourself, no i'm joking don't do that lol
• China
31 May 09
why not? i think if your love is true and unsophisticated,it is no problem for you to pursue her.
@agv0419 (3027)
• Philippines
30 May 09
I agree to them that you need to stop your relationship to your student because it is wrong. For me I think you need to let her graduate first before you courts her so in that way you are not longer her teacher. Her parents I think going to gets angry and objects to your relationship with her. I know sometimes love have no boundaries you are in the right age to decide if it is appropriate or not to fall in love to your student.
• China
30 May 09
I think the most important thing is to know how she feels about you. To tell you the truth, I had a great crush on my teacher when I was a student, and at that time I cannot tell if I like him as a teacher or a man. However, I express my admiration to him. So my point is for your own good, if she really loves you as a man, then you are encouraged to move forward. I have a teacher marry his student, and now they are very happy. Anyway, you have my best wishes!
@jeneias (608)
• United States
30 May 09
It's never "ok" to fall in love with ANYONE too young for you. Now, if this was say, a college/university, and was dealing with adults (18+), then I'd say that it is between the teacher and student. Any younger than that, and your bringing the parents into the situation. (Btw, I'm 16 years old. So yea, coming from a teenager, this is a bit creepy!)
• India
28 May 09
Well if this girl is not a minor and the feeling you two have for each other is genuine, then i do not see anything wrong with it. But like others have said, you are betraying the trust that the parents of your students and your institution has placed on you. You can wait till this student graduates from your class and take this matter forward.
@hanah87 (1835)
• Malaysia
27 May 09
I think not.I feel the student should come to school for study not for find love even with her/his teacher.Today many student fall in love with their teacher and sometimes their teacher try to take benefit on it because they know about it.