How can she be so unfaithful......

India
May 27, 2009 2:30pm CST
One single statement changed everything.I never thought this would happen. Everything was fine, everyhting was smooth, life was so beautiful. Its more than 26 yrs that we are married, we have a son, he is working in a MNC.We were a happy family untill last week,when I came to know that he is not my son. My wife had an affair with one of her colleague, she never told me, i never expected this--everything was fine. I loved her so much, i cared for her, all these years i never allowed her to feel unhappy, i did whatever was possible--then why did she act like this. How can she love someone? How can she be so ungrateful. She could have told me once. 26 long years she kept quiet?? Can you expect this kind of act from some one whom you love so much. I feel I am cheated,I am backstabbed- I gave her all the liberty,freedom, i trusted her so much and she had an affair with someone. The person whom I thought to be my son -- he is not my son,he is not having my blood?? I feel now that i am a stranger in my family---- A friend of mine is going through this experience, this is his story.
5 people like this
19 responses
@Mr_Lyons (25)
• United States
28 May 09
Im sorely hurt to hear such news xparttime1. It is regrettably a true circumstance in life that the ones we love us most have the greatest capactity for inflicting hurt to us. Many times in life we find ourselves in situations which cause us to act or feel rashly. Though i cannot empathize with you having never gone through such a situation, i cannot say i empathize. For what its worth, from one guy to another, one of many who has gotten hurt by loved ones, i cant say you have my greatest sympathies and best of luck to sort this whole mess up. Just remember this xparttime1. You took care of that boy from the moment he was born, loved him, nurtured him, taught him how to be the man, that you hoped he would when he was thought to be yours. If you cannot love him just the same then you will only allow your wife to win. Though it is not a game so to speak, life is, and always will be a neverending game. Embrace your son and let him know that you are as much his father as your wife is his mother. You are a family xparttime1! You will rise above it all.
• Mauritius
28 May 09
UNBELIEVABLE........ Tears spill from my eyes reading this......... How come she has been unfaithful to you for more than 26yrs???????????? Has she been sleeping peacefully for hiding such a secret for so many years?????? Personally for me she is not human, sory for been so frank. You have to support your friend right now because he gonna break.. Help him, change his atmosphere, take a break and please don't indulge yourself in any relationship right now
• India
28 May 09
Thank you for writing.and thanks for your concern-- i will pass the message to my friend.
@jillmalitz (5131)
• United States
28 May 09
I cannot imagine how your friend feels. I hope he does not let it affect his relationship with his son. I do feel his pain because my husband of 20+ years suddenly decided he no longer wanted to be with me. Now we are separated. I did not see it coming at all. I wish your friend better times and they will come if he learns not to dwell on the past or worry what was wrong. It will get better.
@cobra1368 (704)
• United States
28 May 09
Wow. People can be so cruel and callous. The president of the company I work for recently got a divorce. I had heard it was because he has been having an affair, but I hadn't heard much more than that. His ex-wife, a truly sweet and wonderful woman, works here too. I found out today that the hot little number that was his new flame was a girl that works here!! She is three years younger than me! What makes matters worse is that he and his ex have two kids together, and he is currently brainwashing them to get them to accept his new girl as their mom!! His ex-wife is getting shafted, she is losing the custody battle, and she has to hear from her kids whether or not the other girl is spending time with them or not. It is heartbreaking, but at the same time, I am furious!! I don't even want to work here anymore. I don't want to work for that SOB. What an a$$hole!!!
@kelpie (190)
• United States
28 May 09
That is horrible. I have been in a relationship for 3 years, a majority of it being long distance, and just these 8 weeks have we been together. We have our horrible downs, and our fantastic ups, but never have we cheated on each other even when it was long distance. And I couldn't possibly live with myself having kept a secret that I cheated on someone, let alone live with the fact for that long that my child is not my loved one's child. This is where I get furious, because obviously people are horrible at communication. The only reason my relationship has been bumpy as well as lasted as long as it has is because we are open to each other about everything. This type of system helps to keep us away from cheating, because its a rarity to find another person who is fully open as the both of us are to each other. I do understand how she could do what she did, but I am at a loss of words. I am shocked.
• India
28 May 09
Very Sorry for him.... I think he should have a talk with his son. If his son still shows the same care, he should welcome it with open arms. Blood relation is not important. Many people in this world feel and are also alone even though they have parents and children.
@ckyera (17342)
• Philippines
28 May 09
oh my God...its so sad! i can't judge her for i don't know her but i really feel sorry for your friend. its not easy what he's going through now, its so hard to accept things like this and to know that the child he thought that his own is not...oh oh..even worse. i know how painful he's feeling now, he was betrayed but again we don't know her wife's reason why she do it. maybe its not that she don't love him, she just tempted to do it and when she got pregnant she choose to be quiet coz maybe she don't want to loose him, or i don't know. now, its up to him if he can forgive his wife and if he still can live with this woman...oh how horrible...\ and maybe having a vacation can help. i just thought! i hope he'll be better soon.
• United States
28 May 09
That is aweful that this happened to him. But looking at it his son is his son. He loved his son like a father and his son loved him like a dad. They never knew any better. He provided for him. He probably would have given up his life for him. His son probably gave him a lot of joy. So I say even if their is no blood relation that his son will always be his son. He should not treat him differently or look at it any other way. I would be upset but that is how I would look at it. As for the wife. What she did is bad. Some might say unforgivable. He has to make a hard choice when it comes to her. Does he stay with her or not. It sounds like he has a lot of hurt and anger. He might should take some time away from her to make his choice. But he needs to take another look at his relationship with his son. She lied to both of them. She hurt both of them. He should not blame him or stop loving him because of what she did. His son is probably going through a hard time with this too.
@Ritchelle (3795)
• Philippines
28 May 09
there are actually options for this meaning this situation can be handled. however, the legal and accepted way is always through the courts. your friend can continue the marriage sans the trust or he can leave or ask the mother and son to leave and finalize everything in court. it is sad that sometimes you do what you can do avoid karma yet we suffer for the sins of others.
• United States
28 May 09
Okay obviously this is a very emotional topic. However my personal opinion of parenting is blood or not whoever raised the boy is him father period! Even if the man can't forgive his wife the child should not be punished for her mistake. Blood or not his son is HIS!
@Citychic (4071)
• United States
28 May 09
How can she be so unfaithful......... Well there is no need to feel like he isn't your son if you've been the one that's been around him for the past 26 odd years. Even though he may not carry your blood. A father son relationship goes even deeper than the blood. I'll admit that she was wrong not to tell you he wasn't your son in all of those years but she was probably just afraid of your response. You must forgive her and try to patch things up with her. 26 years of marriage is too much time to allow it to go down the drain. Try to work on fixing it while you still can, even if the two of you have to go to counseling. Good luck and sorry to hear about this....but you don't have to allow it to change you. Happy mylotting.
@amybrezik (2120)
• United States
28 May 09
He is def still the father of the son, even if he isn't blood related. I feel for your friend, and hope that things turn around for him.
@yoyozhou (356)
• China
27 May 09
That's too bad! The son is harmless but the wife is too selfish and inhumane.The husband loved the wife so much . The husband should leave the wife but not tell the truth to his son.
@sandymay48 (2031)
• Canada
27 May 09
Hi there....This is indeed a sad story and must be extremely hard for your friend. Why she never told him, only she knows for sure. DId she fear him? or maybe she did indeed love him and has been afraid all these years of losing him. I think if she didnt, that sometime during all those years, she would have told him. Just let him remember that anyone can be a father, but it takes a special man to be a dad.
@harmonee (1236)
• United States
27 May 09
Stories like this make me so sad. I wish I had an answer on how or why this kind of thing happens, but I don't. It doesn't make sense to me. A couple of years ago my husbands mom had an affair with a guy our age. She'd been married for over 20 years and just threw it all away. The younger guy wasn't even single either! It was all for nothing. She took off and moved to a different state without even telling her kids. Now there is a whole bunch of family drama because she just walked away from the life that she lived. She too had been treated well. She never had to work, traveled around the world, got anything she ever wanted. Now she is estranged from her 4 sons and divorced and living alone. I don't get it. How can that be a better situation?
@trickiwoo (2702)
• United States
27 May 09
Even if your friend's son is not biologically related to him, your friend is still his father. He was the one who raised him, loved him, and watched him grow up. This shouldn't change your friend's relationship with his son. It will definitely change his relationship with his wife though. Either he can forgive her for making a mistake and try to work things out, or he can decide that what she did is unforgivable and end the marriage. I am sure that he is hurting very much right now.
• United States
27 May 09
This is a sad story. This is why I feel telling the truth is so imporant. And sometimes we never know until years later. I know some women do not want to break someones heart but this goes to the ladies if you have a baby and you have ANY doubt in your mind who the father is please be honest. I had no doubt in my mind about my kids and I never will but sometimes things happen. Take care and I feel for your friend. Be there for him and let him know you care. happy mylotting to you as well. sad for the story though
• India
27 May 09
Thats really wrong yaar but thats how life is . it happens . but tell your friend not to blame his son , he never knew he was not his son , he took him as his father and still must do so . so he should keep it aside and behave like a dad to him only . because its not his fault that his mom had an affair . and clear things out with his wife else the family will get broken up in pieces . hope things will turn out well
@lelin1123 (15635)
• Puerto Rico
27 May 09
How horrible for him. To be betrayed like that. You don't say how old the son is but regardless that is alot to take in. I don't understand how people can do this to someone else keeping the secret and then being able to sleep at night. How do they look themselves in the mirror each morning. I feel so bad for the husband. What's hard for him is for 26 years he has given 100% love, security, home to both is wife and son that he thought was his son. Such betrayal would be hard to forgive I think for many. Does the son even know that he is not his father??