can a boy and girl trully be best friends without one of them liking the other?

United States
May 27, 2009 11:15pm CST
Do you think it's possible for male and female to be best friends without one of them having some kind of feelings for the other person. I have had a best friend who was a male and I knew he liked me, but we still were best friends. But....Eventually we ended up dating. So that's my question, do you think a girl and boy can be best friends without one of them having feelings for the other one.
5 people like this
37 responses
@marty3888 (2358)
• United States
28 May 09
Yes. I have one. We actually can say we love each other - but we're not in love. I have a girlfriend that I bought a house with, my best friend was married and had three kids. We met in college. She had a boyfriend who would later become her husband but me and her did things together that her and her guy couldn't. And we were also both able to talk to each other about problems. I havn't seen her in a while but we keep in touch by phone and e-mail. Her last e-mail did ask me when am I going to see you? I'd like to find some time to spend a day or maybe even a half a day. My girlfriend, by the way, doesn't think men and women can be just friends and thinks that me and her are a rare exception.
1 person likes this
@technoobs (406)
• Philippines
29 May 09
Its possible for some people in that situation to fall for their best friend, I had a familiar case with that of my high school batch mate though they are really meant for that more than just best friend.
• Philippines
29 May 09
Ooops its the opposite side of my post but any way in that situation may be if they are really not meant to be more than just best friends..
• India
28 May 09
why not I BELEIVE THAT BOY AND gal can be best friend because there is no thumb rule that they will have only love relation because we spend half of our life with gals so that does not mean all gals are our lover so many of them are just friends and some time they are best friend because they understood us very well.
@calvin222 (1607)
• India
28 May 09
whether it is a girl and a boy, or a boy and a boy, or a girl and a girl, you cannot refute that they both have to like each other to be best friends
@calvin222 (1607)
• India
28 May 09
best friends essentially means both people really liking each other. so best friends without one of them liking the other cant really work
• United States
28 May 09
calvin, the word "like" in this discussion is attracted. Not do they like each other as friends. That question wouldn't make any sense would it? The question is...Is it possible for a man and woman to be "best" friends without at least one of them being attracted to the other.
@faisai (1138)
• Hong Kong
28 May 09
I have a very good friend that is a her and I am a man. So, do we like each other? Of course we do. How on Earth one would be good friend with somebody he doesn't like? Do we love each other? That depends on how you define love. If caring one another and provide support whenever the other need is love, then yes, we love each other. Yet, we aren't (and won't be) living together nor her husband will think that we are having affairs. We just love each other like I love my family and so does she. I don't foresee any changes in the future between our relationships.
• United States
28 May 09
Ummm faisai, I believe what is meant by the word "LIKE" is attraction not, do they like each other as friends. The question is....... Can a man and woman be BEST friends, without at least one of them being attracted to the other?
• Mauritius
28 May 09
Frankly speaking, I don't think so........ There is always some kind of feelings involved apart from that of friendship. According to me, you can even sense it when you know other feelings are involved from the part of your friend If your friend is not accepting it after you have talked about it then he,surely, he is afraid to express it fearing that he;ll lose you......... The answer of your question is no
• United States
28 May 09
Yes I agree. Because in my case of my friend. Even though we were the best of friends, I could definitely sense that he liked me more than friends. He never said it and never did anything to overstep friendship boundaries, but I did know. We were best friends for aboout 5 years before we started to date. He eventually came out and told me how he felt about me and he said he didn't say anything because I was in a relationship with someone else at the time.
@drsenergy (159)
• United States
28 May 09
If a man and woman are "best friends"(yeah right), at least one of them is in love with the other and have just had to settle for friendship. Even if they start out truly friends, somebody gonna fall in love. It's only natural.
• United States
28 May 09
I agree. I think it's only natural. Especially spending a lot of time together which is normally what best friends do. I'm sure at least one of them will have some feelings for the other one. But I guess that's not to say it's not possible, because anything is possible, but it's not likely.
@Gwapako_28 (2142)
• Philippines
29 May 09
It is depends for the both of you. I guess, if you two don't have both a lover yet, then im sure, there is 100% possibility that she and he as best friend will ended up liking / loving each other. Because as far as i know, having a relationship, being a best friend first will turn into a perfect relationship cause two of you knows together much and friendship is always there.
• Malaysia
29 May 09
yes. but it is just minority. at start, they only friend, then they become best friend then, they in love. it just the usual.
@KDav86 (11)
• United States
29 May 09
In my experiences,...One of them has to be gay, or they have to be in a relationship not to think about dating the other person...
@alindahaw (1219)
• Philippines
29 May 09
Yes it possible for a boy and girl to be just really good friends. Some people are simply better off as friends. Besides, not all people who are close to each other develop romantic feelings for each other. Some people simply do not have that kind of spark between them.
• China
29 May 09
when you refer to this topic issue,it will remind me of something happened around myself .As for me ,I admit that the true friendship between the male and female.However,in most cases ,the best friend between the male and female are just like you mentioned that one of them like or love the other ,at least.Actually ,we can imagine that one of them like or love the other ,he or she will try to communicate and play together .Only in this way ,can you become the best friend and some day become the lover.But ,in fact ,I have a best male friend ,not the boyfriend,we are intimate friend ,when we together ,we can talk our private things and share some precious experience .When we meet some tough things ,he will try his best to help me and always encourge me to do it .Of course ,we are both have our own partner in the life. Thus ,I cherish this friendship so mush.
@yoyozhou (356)
• China
29 May 09
Hi,it is diffcult for a boy and a girl to be friends ,I think. Boys usually want to be close to the girls they are interested in. Maybe in some occasion, boys and girls can be friends.They have common hobbies and topics then they become friends. Until one day one part loves the other,the friendship is over,I think.
@Absinto (2394)
• Portugal
29 May 09
I believe that two best friends can just be friends. I actually have a best friend that is a boy and .. ok .. well we got drunk a couple of times and made out but we dont like each other at all..we are just lonely people who need affection but not like a relationship.
• United States
29 May 09
When I ponder this question the first thing I think of is the movie "When Harry Met Sally". I believe somewhere in the movie Harry says a man can never have a girl friend or be close to a girl friend without having some type of attraction for her. I completely agree. In many cases if a guy is really close to a girl, he begins to develop feelings for her. Often times then not this type of attraction is superior because it's based off of personality and not just physical attraction. I just recently posted a discussion that explains the dilemma I'm in. I'm practically in love with my best friend. I can't really explain how it happened but over time I realized how happy she makes me. Part of my dilemma was whether or not I should confess my love or just be happy with our friendship. To bring it all back to the question I think its rare to find two best friends where one of them do not have strong feelings for the other.
• United States
29 May 09
That is a tough question. It is easier for guys to talk to other guys but also it can be easier for guys to talk to girls if they dont have a relationship interest with them. It is always that hiding question whether that girl or boy may like each other but want to be friends? It all depends on the person if you ask me.
@kelpie (190)
• United States
28 May 09
I think its possible, but rare. The closeness you discover is because they are your closest best friend. You do a lot together, you see each other a lot, and that is the emotional bond felt in a relationship. The moment you are physically attracted even on an emotional level, things may get a little more serious than best friends.
@coolcoder (2019)
• United States
28 May 09
It's very possible. I have two guy friends whom I've known for years--one's married, the other one...last I heard, he'd gotten divorced, but I don't know what he's doing now--and it was just fun to hang around with them. At no time did I express any sort of romantic feelings toward either of them, and vice versa. It was simply a good, platonic relationship. :D
28 May 09
I think that girls and boys can definitely be friends without having any romantic feelings for the other. I am friends with quite a few different girls and I have no feelings like that for any of them. I do think that a lot of the time one of them will have secret feelings for them though.
@mariposaman (2967)
• Canada
28 May 09
I agree it is unusual because one of them is usually "settling" for friendship and would like more. I am not sure why you are asking the question as in your case you ended up dating so that sort of proves my point.