Do you believe in destiny?

China
May 30, 2009 10:09am CST
Do you believe in destiny? In the past, I would say no, but now, I am not so sure.. I had twice unreturned love in my university. One was in my second year.The other was in my forth. Both of them didn't know me well before I told them my admiration.And Not untill that did I know they already had been in a relationship. However, both of them were very nice, and they took me as a freind.But the freindship didn't last long cause they somehow went to other cities and we lost contact.I thought it was okay, since we met at the wrong time and I can still have a lot of chance after graduation. Then I meet this guy, we are in the same office. I think it twice before defining my feeling to him. But then I find that he has a gf, too. But I still retain a little hope cause we are in the same office and maybe time can change everything. But to everyone's suprise, there comes the economic crisis and both of us are laid off. And he decides to study abroad... So in the end, we still get nowhere.. My similar experiences get me to blame on destiny. Why do I meet the wrong guy all the time? And they are so much alike! Nice,but unavailable, then go away...Believe it or not, all of their gfs study Japanese... I don't know if I have been cursed or it is my problem, but I really want a fresh start..Have you had same experience? How do you deal with it?
4 people like this
25 responses
30 May 09
Hey,Sorry to hear that. I am a true believer that everything happens for a reason! It may not seem it at the time but everything has it's purpose. Try to look at the positives instead of the negatives. For example okay its a bummer that they had girlfriends, But I believe this has happened because they are not who you were meant to be with - well at least for now. If it is meant to be, then it will happen. If you start thinking positively, positive things will happen. People can pick up on negtivity and don't like to be surrounded by it. I have had experiences that have made me think - god I just want to move away start afresh ect. But I have stayed and faced things. Starting afresh is not necessarily a bad thing, it can bring good, new and exciting experiences - even prince charming! Referring to my previous comment about being positive, make sure you are surrounded by positive people. As they can drag you down and make you feel down about things - I know this from personal experiance!! It is very true when they "when you look for love nothing comes" but when you are not looking for love it suddenly appears! That had happened to me - When I was 19 I didn't have a boyfriend for about 2 years,I was wanting a boyfriend as I felt lonely and wanted to share things with that other person. But then a point came where I just gave up and was not interested and started enjoying myself and not worrying about that. Then poof.... I met a guy and it totally took me by surprise. We ended up being together for 4 and half years. I think men have a sixth sense and they can pick up on woman on the look out for a guy! ha ha but trust me - stop looking, be more confident and know that you deserve the best! Good luck with it and I hope this has helped:)
1 person likes this
• China
31 May 09
Hi streakykj, thanks for your encouragement and sharing! Actually I have been told by someone else that when you look for love nothing comes. But after years, I start to doubt, I mean will my mr right just come over and tell me I am the one? And here I think you are right about that men have a sixth sense. So I guess I should give another shot,haha, what else can I do?
1 person likes this
31 May 09
Ha ha no worries. Sometimes you have to take chances and just go for it - sometimes being Honest with someone about how you feel may suprise you!
1 person likes this
@amybrezik (2120)
• United States
30 May 09
That's a good question. I'm not sure. I do think there is destiny, but I also think that we have the ability to change the destiny as well. I believe it's based on your decisions.
1 person likes this
• China
30 May 09
I know, but there is such times you think you make the right decision but it just turns out the other way. I mean you can do nothing about it. So... Thank you all the same!
1 person likes this
@ajithlal (14614)
• India
18 Sep 10
I also believe there is destiny and believes that everything happens for a reason.
@chapstek (85)
• Philippines
30 May 09
Hi there! For me, destiny is the effect of the decisions you make in your life. I think that destiny is made by the person itself. I believe that you are the master of your own destiny and you can tweak everything in your life from your lovelife, studies, and on every aspect you may think of with just by your wise decisions for yourself. You cannot blame bad happenings to destiny because it is from your decisions why those happened. In my opinion, people should just think wisely before making any decision that will affect their life and before making that decision, they must accept the consequences of that decision because after all, it is them who decided that not DESTINY. :)
1 person likes this
• China
31 May 09
Hi Chapstek, maybe you are right, I need to think wisely and learn to accept the consequences! Thanks a lot!
1 person likes this
@cvrajan (354)
• India
31 May 09
I believe in destiny. As a believer in God, I will put it as "God's will". In youth, we think we know what is good and right for us. But as you age and do introspection, you will understand that our past judgments were not really too good. We find that we were motivated by "desires" on what is "pleasant" rather than what is "good" for us. If you are not getting what you think as good for you, perhaps you are truly lucky that God is making the right choice for you, rather than allowing you to make the choice and granting it! The more you become dependent on God's will, you will find more of peace in life.
1 person likes this
@apples99 (6562)
• United States
31 May 09
Yes I do believe in destiny I think that life is a mix of human choices and things that are planed for us by god and destiny, I think there are things that happen in our lives that are just meant to be things that are destined for us.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
31 May 09
I've been hearing about destiny and it makes me feel good hearing this word from special someone.. I, myself believe in destiny, but at the same time we create our own destiny.. It's just confusing at times how to exactly explain why things happen that way... Either ways, I still believe in destiny and I believe that special someone is my destiny..
1 person likes this
@ajithlal (14614)
• India
30 May 09
I do believe in destiny and believes that everything happens for good. Sometimes when I think about the past things, I wonder what would have happen if such things doesn't happen or such things had happened. I think everything changes us. I had lost job on two occasions, but I have found new jobs just after couple of months. I had heart broken lots of times, but I have found that it happened for good and if the love was successful may be I would have problems in the relationship in the future.
• Philippines
30 May 09
I do not believe in destiny. You are where and who you are right now because of the choices that you have made in the past. Anything you do is your choice. Even when you do nothing and just bum around is your choice, and a lot of things can happen even though you are doing nothing. Even having a relationship with someone is not destiny, in my opinion. You met her and she became your girlfriend because of circumstances and actions you are directly or indirectly responsible. I believe that life is governed by choices and the choices that we make are influenced by our perception of the world. So in the final analysis, your perception of the world is what ultimately brings you to where and who you are right now.
• China
30 May 09
Hi, ajithlal, you know what? I like your" everything happens for good". Although I am down for a while, I always cherish good hope for the future. I think it is not the good thing makes us happy, but the excitment when you are expecting the good thing. And maybe this is what we call "optimistic", do you agree?
• China
30 May 09
Hi, Grungebox, you seem to be very rational to me, is that so? But I think you have a point here, people's choice bring them where and what they are. But sometimes, we just can't think that far before we make a decision, and even sometimes the thing doesn't happen in a way we plan because of other's decision. All I mean is, we are not able enough to get control over our life all the time, what do you say?
• Philippines
30 May 09
Good day... I believe that one's life is half govern by the choices one's make and half from one's destiny. I mean if we so decide on one thing and our destiny isn't on sync then it will go nowhere and even we are destined to one thing but we didn't choose to follow it then it would stop there. Our choice and our destiny both play parts in our lives.
• China
31 May 09
Yeah, I agree, although I am blaming the bad happenings on fate, I think it is to some degree my own choice,maybe the part played by destiny is what we call "luck"? And I am just not lucky enough....Hey, thank you~
• Philippines
31 May 09
No problem just don't give up.
@cudamani (996)
• India
30 May 09
I certainly believe in destiny. What some people call as 'karma phalam' in sanskrit is destiny according to many. Karma phalam is the crux of the karma theory. That is we have to reap the benefits as per the actions done by us in our previous birth.
• China
30 May 09
Thank you very much, and if I get you right, do you mean that I am having a hard time right now may be caused by the bad deeds I committed in my previous life? Expecting your furthur answer...
@cudamani (996)
• India
31 May 09
I think so as I am also thinking about myself. Right now I am also suffering for no fault and sin of mine and so I consider that it is due to my past actions. This should be believed. Otherwise there is no answer for out sufferings.
@russso (1699)
• Philippines
30 May 09
I do. It does exist. I believe that the events in our lives have already been pre-determined even before we're born. Everything is fated no matter how much we try to avoid certain things.
• China
30 May 09
You do not mean that I am fated to fall in love with someone unavailable, do you? Just kidding...
@russso (1699)
• Philippines
31 May 09
Oh dearie. That is possible. Anything is possible. If it's bound to happen, it will happen. You'll never know.
@oinkgiz (864)
• Singapore
30 May 09
hi ianmeteor, for me, yes, i believe in destiny... i believe that if something wrong happens, that their is a good thing that will happens too... if the two guys that you met is not for you then you'll find a much better guy in the future... just wait & it will happen... sometimes it will not come easily... it will come in surprise... on the time that you don't expect it to come... thanks for sharing this discussion.. have a nice day and happy mylotting... ^_^
• China
30 May 09
Hi oinkgiz, that is very sweet! I know that the good thing will happen to me eventually.But after so much frustration, I just doubt if that will come true. You are right, all I need is patience but sometimes I still cannot help whining. Maybe the best thing for me is to develop myself and be prepared for the day.. Have a nice day, too!
@oinkgiz (864)
• Singapore
30 May 09
hi, i know what you mean... and i know the feeling of frustration in finding the right person for you... even me i experience that feeling... as of now im with someone and im happy with him but even im happy, in me there's still a feeling of doubt if he is the right guy or not... i just pray & time will tell... and i just enjoy the feeling of being in a relationship with him... but you know i still miss the feeling of being single... having your free time for yourself & friends... & no need to ask permission in everything you do...ahihihi... so just enjoy & relax... take all the opportunity of being single...think positive... and remember... love is like butterfly, the more you chase it the more they go away... have a nice day.... ;)
@clorissa123 (4930)
• United States
30 May 09
wow, by the hand of destiny. I believe in it. So, if you believe in it, there is no escape, and you must constrain yourself on the same repetition over and over again. Why not try to go to broader horizon. You might find something that is totally new to your experience. Good luck with your future relationship!
• China
30 May 09
Yeah, you are right. I must have too obsessed with the destiny thing and overlook the good side of it. And I am trapped in this dilemma just because I try to take it this way. I should make myself happy.. Thank you!
@galileo2008 (1146)
• Philippines
30 May 09
I can't say if I do believe in destiny or not...If I broke up wih someone, I think I don't want to rekindle our old feelings again.
• China
30 May 09
Yes, going over the bad feelings is too much harsh for us. But you seem to be optimistic and after the bad experience you can just let it go.(Just guess). So maybe I should take this less seriously and try to forget it. However,thanks for sharing!
@underdogtoo (9591)
• Philippines
30 May 09
Destiny has been very bad for me and I no longer want to be under its power. I would prefer to make my own destiny and I am starting right now. I somehow had the idea or inkling that I could make my own reality and I don't need to partake of other people's nonsense. Cheers!!
• China
30 May 09
Yeah, I think the worst thing is that you do not get what you deserve! what can we do? Carry on and move forward, do not surrender in front of destiny. Fight for it! Cheers! And Thanks!:)
@Bradpete (822)
• Philippines
30 May 09
Sometimes, but I'm not sure but I know we are the one who make our own destiny. Sometimes bad thing happen to us. Even good people experiencing this things. Judas Iscariot is that a destiny? Being trap in an earthquake or in the middle of war or being r a p e is that a destiny. Won the lottery is that a destiny. Marry a celebrity is that a destiny. Every people do every second of the day can change the movement of the coming future. For example you don't joined a trip to the beach and on board they met accident. Some people say good for you, you did not join them or else you die or in hospital. If you join them maybe that things would not be happen. Every seconds we do there is a changes everywhere even other side of the Earth. If you plant a tree. Is that make different? Yes, there is. Doing good and evil make changes. "When I do good I feel good". -Lincoln
@Vaannoo (29)
• Canada
26 Sep 10
I think this is the most important answer you should read hehe! (i haven't read the other ones) but, here i go! So, you are looking for a perfect guy? is that so? Let me ask you this then, what are looking for in a guy, in a PERFECT guy. describe him to me from top to bottom, the age, the hair colour, heigh, EVERYTHING. Now you say you have been cursed or a problem, those shouldn't even be used in your vocabulary!!!! (problem and cursed). Your question to your self is even phrased wrong i would be something like this, Why don't i meet the right guy? never ever ever give though to the "wrong guy" the more you think about the wrong guy the more they come into your life... think of it as you are building a home with your conscience mind ( a data base for everything in this world and depending on it is your perception of the world) so how do you build a better home? First you allow your self to view things differently from a positive angle! Second you control your thought and don't let your self think of what is making you unhappy... because that way you will be building unwanted home! Third, look for answers with in your self, think of what you should change in your life? maybe not an entire fresh start but trying something new that you haven't ever before is a great idea! I had similar experience, and instead of dealing with it i chose to learn from it and use it in my advantage! dealing with it is unnecessary, we are in this world to accept it not to deal with it :)
23 Sep 10
Before i do believe in destiny. But later on something i realized after what i have been through in my past, we are choosing of what kind of destiny we want to lead through. What is happening or what will gonna happen next in the future is destined to be happened because we let them be. There are things in our life like in our childhood time, we might not have the ability to choose about things for our future, but then other people had something to do about it so everything we have been through was made and happened because some people affects our lives. It is not practical to depend on what we called destiny. If there's something to do in everything happening to us is our way of decision making. It has a major part that leads us to our future.
@KrauseHome (36750)
• United States
31 May 09
When it comes to Love, I feel that Yes, once you find the one you are supposed to be with the rest of your life, then you will know. Personally for me, the day that I met my husband, from a Spiritual point of view God told me I was going to meet someone and that is the day we met. We were only dating 7 1/2 months when we got Married, and have been married now for over 10 yrs. and very Happy. So when you know, you know and if you listen to these feelings everything will be alright.
• India
31 May 09
Of course, I believe in destiny. Because, if we don't believe in destiny, then we have to be with guilty feeling due most of our actions in our past. This will retard our growth. But, if we believe in destiny, then we shall put all the reasons for our failure on the shoulders of destiny and move on towards a bright future. So, believe in destiny!
@John4Christ (1598)
• India
31 May 09
I do believe in destiny......i feel that what has to happen has to happen......so there is very little that can be done some times......sometimes you try hard to get something.....and sometimes it just comes to your doorstep.......that's destiny.....some people attribute it with luck.......some say it is a psychological state of mind.......but i do believe in destiny.....i don't have any solid proof to prove my statement, but i just believe in destiny......it works for me !!!!