Is it really easy to tell ur best pal that he/she is wrong when they are wrong?

India
June 4, 2009 11:09pm CST
There maybe situations when we are with our best mates that we feel that something done by your very best friend or buddy is not right and something is wrong.How do you handle such a situation? Is it easy for you to tell your friend directly on the face and on the spot that what he/she is doing is wrong and that he/she has to correct it right now and right away? Or do you just ignore it and support and help your friend even when you know that what he/she is doing is absolutely wrong. Do you think it is really possible or easy to tell your friends that they are wrong when they are really wrong? Everyone would have faced this awakward situation atleast once in their life time.Do share your views and experiences with your fellow mylotters.We definitely face this kind of a situation daily and would like to know how to handle such a delicate situation. Anyway Friendship really counts always right? we dont want to lose our best buddies due to some hasty decisions right?
2 people like this
19 responses
@jayrene (2712)
• Philippines
5 Jun 09
for me i find it easy to tell a friend if he or she is wrong, especially if they are my best friend. they know i talk a lot, so it is expected that if they do something that looks wrong to me, i may say something about it. i have had this experience before with some of my friends, and they didn't became my enemies, we were still friends after i have told them that they were doing something wrong. true friends should help their friends even if what you are going to say will hurt them.
1 person likes this
• India
6 Jun 09
Hi, Thats good to know that your friends don't take you badly and they are told that they are wrong.Not all friends are like that! Of course they become ok in the long run but the time in between will the hardest to cope up with!
@parv123 (18)
• India
5 Jun 09
Dear One A True friend is one who always tell their friends about their strength and weakness and helps them to move up in their life. We must tell our friend politely and clearly in friendly way that the mistake he/she has committed and that has hurt us.We must also tell them that this wrong thing u hv done ,rectify it and this will not affect our friendship anymore. This is not right that we ignore their faults and support them , after all we hv some kind of values within us, we can't ignore that. everything must be crystal clear.
1 person likes this
• India
6 Jun 09
Definitely agree with you that we need to be clear with our friend and have to tell them about what things that are right and wrong but this may not be possible always!
@Jae2619 (1484)
• United States
5 Jun 09
I think the best way to handle things like that is to just go on and get things out in the open. It may cause tension for a little bit but it won't tread on your mind for hours, days or even weeks. When I am put in that place, I speak my mind. I have always been outspoken and anyone that is my friends knows this as well, so they understand where I am coming from and know that if anyone is gonna say something it's gonna be me.
• India
5 Jun 09
hi jae, Thats a rare quality that you got there! speaking out your mind anytime is really the quality of a great leader and most usually is not possible for everyone. Cheers and have a great day!
1 person likes this
@thyst07 (2091)
• United States
5 Jun 09
I once had a situation where I really felt that two of my friends were making a really bad decision for their lives and their friendship. I didn't feel right about sitting by and letting it happen, so I told them that I didn't agree with what they were doing. For a while they were both really angry at me, and we didn't talk because they told me that I was a bad friend for not supporting them. But in the long run, my predictions turned out to be right and the situation blew up in their faces. Eventually, they quit being mad at me and we're friends again.
1 person likes this
• India
5 Jun 09
Wow, That is really great that your friends realised their folly but most of the times our ego stops us from agreeing that we are wrong even when we know that we are wrong,Thats when great friendships are broken.Good that nothing of that sort happened with you and i appreciate the stand taken by you. I would guess the time in between when you got separated from your friends and then got back together again would have been the toughest to cope up with!
1 person likes this
@4u2enjoy (300)
• Malaysia
5 Jun 09
The situation has occured me several times. I don't usually just say my friend are wrong until he ask my opinion for opinion on the matter. If i think he is wrong, it's still up to him whether to follow or not. I rather give them advice than saying they are wrong. We won't lose buddy if were sincere in everything.
@4u2enjoy (300)
• Malaysia
5 Jun 09
Am sorry for posting twice. Slow connection.
@anday0108 (632)
• Philippines
7 Jun 09
I always tell my best friend what I feel is wrong about what she is doing and she tells me openly too when I do something wrong. We are so open to each other and I think it makes our friendship stronger. We always acknowledge each others weakness and makes us better person. I do believe that our openness with each other strengthens our friendship as long as we accept what the other say and respect each others opinion.
@sublime03 (1809)
• Philippines
6 Jun 09
I believe that when you can tell your best pal that he/she is doing something wrong and they take it from you in a positive way that is the only time that you can say he/she is a friend. I have a friend who always tells me things even if she Is doing something wrong and i tell her what I think. She does not mind that I am saying the truth that will hurt her but she embraces it as an opinion of mine and puts it into thought. I give my opinions but I do not intend to have my friends listen all the time though my intentions are good expect that friends will not listen most of the time.
@becnh83 (806)
• Philippines
6 Jun 09
yes of course you have to correct hin/her but in private place just when no other people involve...you let him/her know that what she/he is doing is wrong so that next time they were already aware...what are friends for?
• Philippines
6 Jun 09
I am a straiGht forward pers0n especialLy if its true and what im going to say will be for the go0d of otherS especially on my best pal or friends because still honestly is the best policy ,buT ofcouse there should alway be a consideration when you want to telL or say s0mething to your friend becAuse they miGht mis interPret what your trying to say and if you were n0t be careful you miGht offend them and the worst thing happen next is your friendship is broken becAuse they mis understood you..
@getitok (278)
• China
6 Jun 09
I always tell my friends the truth when I think they are definitely wrong. But also I did not tell them sometimes because I feel it's too hard to make them believe me. So my answer to your question is 'it depends', if I feel I can persuade them to believe what is true, I'll always tell them they are wrong, but if I feel I can not persuade them, I'd like to keep silent.
• India
6 Jun 09
I think this really depends on age. When we were younger, telling friends on their face that they are wrong, wasnt such a big deal. There was some argument, some fighting, we would not talk for a few days and then everything was forgotten. However, with maturity, people become less receptive to critisism. We also have our families and we listen to them too and so friends get less priority. However, if the friendship is true, critisisms should not matter.
• Malaysia
6 Jun 09
Yes. Definitely i will tell my best mates that he/she is wrong when they are wrong. From my point of view, i correct them is for the sake of good for them. Even though, i know that they maybe will get angry but i wont mind. I don't mind them angry or scold on me, because they are my best mates. If i'm not the one going to tell them that they are doing wrong, who do you expect to tell them this? So, forever they wont know that the act they are doing is totally wrong. Tell them if you really love them, buddy.
• Philippines
6 Jun 09
i have the situation like that know. but i can't to her that she's wrong. i hate to tell her because i tried the last time and she said i offended her, in i don't know reasons. i now just follow to the flow of our life, which i don't think that we will last, well hopefully we can. now that we have a lot of misunderstadings that it makes me cry. i don't know.
@uicbear (1902)
• United States
6 Jun 09
It really depends on how serious the situation is on how I actually tell them how I feel. If it's a very serious situation, then it's a pull them in a private space and let them know how much I care about them and how much I worry that their decisions lately might really hurt them in the end. Most of the time, I can joke about things in a way that makes my point very clear. The one thing that you have to be ok with is if they don't take your opinion into consideration. This is the point where you have to decide for yourself how much what they are doing upsets you and whether or not you want to continue this friendship.
@happy6162 (3009)
• United States
5 Jun 09
You need to let them know what you think about what they are doing. Give them your opinion about it and how you would handle it. If they do not agree with you and do not listen to you and it does go wrong for them they will know that you were a friend and try to help them. Never tell them I told you so though.
@4u2enjoy (300)
• Malaysia
5 Jun 09
The situations has occured to me several times. I don't usually just say that my friend is wrong until he ask me for my opinion on the matter. If i think that he is wrong, it's still up to him whether to hear me or not. I always gave them advice rather than saying that they are wrong.
@Dorrdavy (276)
• Jamaica
5 Jun 09
well, its not always easy, i guess the hard part is telling them without making them feel bad. i've had those situations all the time, i know i have to say something, but must try to find a good way to say it. trust me i wont ignore it, i will say something but will leave him/her to make a choice.
@flyhun (28)
• Germany
5 Jun 09
Actually, I always want to be honest and speak my mind especially when someones wrong. But in a few cases I rather don't say anything about certain things because it might be really inappropriate or it might hurt people's feelings. But mostly, I try to express my opinion. However, there's one friend of mine. I like her a lot, but sometimes she acts so stupidly, like a total brat! I'd love to speak my mind and tell her how wrong and dumb she sometimes is. But because she's such a brat it's so hard to be honest about certain things. She'll be so mad at you for that. That's what I really hate. I try to be as honest as I can. But seriously, if someone's really wrong, that person has to understand that and not be mad about being told to be wrong.
@royal52gens (5380)
• United States
5 Jun 09
If you discuss the situation in a non-insulting way, you can argue or disagree with your friend effectively. It also depends on the friendship and the situation. It is okay to say you would not do what they have done. You should be able to share your opinion.