is your BF shouted at you? or did you shout your GF when you are angry?

@joanzz (174)
Philippines
June 5, 2009 11:58pm CST
Hello my lotters!.... I just wanted to know if it is a normal in a relationship if man shouted her girlfriend. Have you tried this? Because, my boyfriend is a high tempered and he always shouted at me when he was in angry. And it is hurt for me because I love him so much and I know that he loved me too. But, I wonder why he always shouted at me. Sometimes, I feel doubt at him and I think he did not care my feelings. If I asked you, is he still inlove with me? what do you think?..... If you are in my part, what do you think you are going to do?
2 people like this
22 responses
• Japan
6 Jun 09
Although shouting at your partner doesn't mean you don't love him/her very much, it should never be an excuse to vent emotions. It sure makes you doubt if he still cares how you feel. Unfortunately, some people are just born short-tempered. Talk to him when he's sober. Tell him how much you love him and how much this hurt you. See how he reacts and behaves. Best of luck.
@joanzz (174)
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
So, if I do that, it is possible to him to changed? Anyway, thank you for some advices....... happy mylotting and keep posting!...
• Japan
10 Jun 09
If you really can't bear it, maybe you should try to take a break and let things cool down before he comes to talk to you. The question is, would he come to you first if you two were on a break?
@joanzz (174)
• Philippines
11 Jun 09
Well, my only problem in my relationship to my boyfriend is his behavior the way he shouted at me when he was in angry. But, if he cannot change his attitude, I can still accept him as he is and I know I can bear it even it is hurt to my feelings. Maybe, the most important thing is I love him. anyway, he proved me already that he still inlove with me even he shouted at me sometimes. And he told me that he will do his best to control himself.
@daliaj (5681)
• India
6 Jun 09
My guy shouts at me somtimes, it doesn't mean that he didn't love me. I will be angry or sad when he shouts, but I leave it after some time. I won't keep that in my mind. I have never shouted at him. But, he says instead of keeping my anger in my heart and getting hurt, it is better to shout each other.
@joanzz (174)
• Philippines
6 Jun 09
Well, thank you for your comments and it makes me clearer in my mind that he still loving me even he shouted at me when he was in angry.
@avidavi1 (265)
• India
6 Jun 09
well... Lemme tell you that I am the male person in my relationship and it is quite natural for a guy to shout when he is annoyed for some reason. As I am a guy, I personally feel that yet it is not good to shout on your GF but this does not mean that he does not love you. I myself shout on my GF very badly when I am crossed, bt I love her more than anything. so don't get into these types of messy ideas, just try to tell em that you feel bad when he shouts on you.
@joanzz (174)
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
Yeah! I already told him that I feel bad when he shouted at me. Not only once, because I always do to remind him everytime he shouted. But, maybe he doesn't put it on his mind because until now he always do to shout at me except if he is in good mood.
@sky069 (10)
• China
6 Jun 09
oh, sorry!that is a heart-breaking story!you fell insecure? i hope finally you will work out your difference and get back together!
@joanzz (174)
• Philippines
12 Jun 09
It is a sad story for us but now, I feel happy with him it is because we are already fixed our problem. Maybe it was a trial in our life and I do believe that every relationship has a trial and we struggle to fight the trial because we have love to each other. anyway, thank you for your comments here and keep posting!
@modstar (9608)
• Philippines
6 Jun 09
No, i never shouted at my former girlfriends but i did raise my voice. It's something that i should do because she's being stubborn and just won't listen even if it's for her own good. I'm not really hot tempered. It takes a lot to make me lose my patience but sometimes i just can't help it. I never shouted though. I don't think that's a good idea.
@joanzz (174)
• Philippines
11 Jun 09
I admit that I am being stubborn to him sometimes it is because I want to measure his love. And I proved it that his patience is low. Sometimes, I asked myself if I am his true love because as I know, love is patience and love is not easily anger.
@med889 (5953)
6 Jun 09
My boyfriend shouts and sometimes yell when he is angry at me with something I did to make him so angry, once he even throw his guitar on the floor which I thought was broken but hopefully not. He is not hot temppered but a very cool person, he either gets angry on something I did which was foolish or on something he is unable to do. So I understand him fully. And now I even know that when he is angry it is better to remain silent and let himself talk else he will continue forever with his discussion so i prefer to remain silent ;-) And he even know why now. Thus when I am angry it is just because he has done something which he should not have done and he behave as a child then to pacify me. We are not angry at each other for more than 20 minutes, We pacify very easily .
@joanzz (174)
• Philippines
11 Jun 09
Yeah., I remain silent too if he was in angry but, deep inside, it is hurt to listen his big voice you know. I would like to shout him up if he shouted at me but, I can't out my voice and I don't know why. So, I just remain silence and sometimes I can have a tear in my eyes.
• Philippines
6 Jun 09
I haven't experienced being shouted at by any of my exes. it's a good thing. I don't think I would approve of that, but if ever that happens I will surely talk to him, seriously about that thing. It's very rude, and to think you're only his girlfriend as of the moment, what more if you are his wife? If this happens too much, and you're letting it, maybe it's time to think.
@joanzz (174)
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
Yeah! I am thinking of that!.. And I dont want my husband act like that someday. So, if he will be my husband, and this moment, he dare to shout at me. How much much more if I am already his wife? And I am afraid on that if it will be happen. But, I love him so much and what I must going to do?
@elghrasya (501)
• Philippines
6 Jun 09
For me I think its normal for a person to shout when he is angry in whatever relationship he is in. It is normal because an angry person only wants to spill out his sides in a high voice to give emphasis to his reaction that he is really angry. I never experience to get shouted by my boyfriend before, in fact I am the one who is shouting to him whenever my temper gets high. And about your question if he still inlove with you? All I can say is we cannot tell that, no one here in mylot can tell about your guy's feeling so you better ask him straight and be prepared for his answers.
@joanzz (174)
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
Actually, I already asked him if he still inlove with me and he answered yes. And he told me that he will never do it again but, he still do it to me because he could not himself. Anyway he asked me for apologize after he shouted if I am getting mad on him. And now, I already know that it is normal to a person to shout if it is in angry. That why he is and I do believe that nobody's perfect. Thank you!... and happy my lotting!..
@ruby1459 (2602)
• United States
6 Jun 09
Well my ex has alwats shouted/yelled at me, doesn't matter whether it was my fault or his fault. He had a short temper which everybody knew but whatever happened he had to yelled at me. I didn't like even one bit and one day I asked him not to yell at me and I will listen if you want to talk, he simply said he is mad and upset and he will yell at anyone he wants. Actually our relationship became worse and it went to Domestic Violence, He probably couldn't control his feeling etc., but anyway we've got divorced because of it. It is very hard but if he hurts your feeling, he should understand how you feel and need to work on the relationship. If one of you has feeling down because of other's behavior the relathionship won't work. I hope you guys can work out for the best.
@joanzz (174)
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
Hmmm... it is so sad story. So, if his behavior will not changed, it is possible to our relationship won't work? So, what I must going to do to keep us stronger even if he doesn't changed?
@geniustiger (1696)
• Philippines
11 Jun 09
So far in my relationship I did not shouted my bf its because each of us are loving each other. We did not passed that instances ,we are friends before and so close like brothers and sisters thats why I not ever shouted to him or vise versa. I think it depends upon the situation you have so far in your company as lovers. Sometimes I think it will come to other relations and one of the experiences you should tackle in life.
@gogoshan (30)
• Canada
11 Jun 09
I want to say that it's not a bad thing for couples to express their feelings to each other no matter what it is about. Sometimes shouting is just one of the ways to do that, so don't be too sad about it. If he does it too often, and you get hurt or scared, tell him. I find the best way to keep a relationship working is just to tell him what's on your mind. My bf shouts at me when he's mad, sometimes i shouts back when i'm mad too, or if i'm not as mad, i will tell him not to do that, because he scared me. So he appologizes and it's ok. Then afterwards when we are all calm, i will tell him not to shout at me for little things, try to control his temper, because it's not good for his health, and also makes me scared and sad. Guys are not as emotional, they get mad and shout and that's it. They can forget all that's happened and be happy right away. But girls are different, we tend to remember what they did and keep thinking about it whenever the similiar things happen again. So it's really good for you to tell him what your feeling is about his shouting at you. I'm sure if he loves you enough, he will change for you. good luck! :))
@Elie6208 (58)
• United States
8 Jun 09
Shouting is a "no no" It hurts the other person terribly, especially one who loves his/her partner with everything there is. Neither of both has the right to shout at the other for any reason what so ever!
@ajithlal (14614)
• India
7 Jun 09
I do not get angry very easily and most times try to be calm even when I get angry. One of the thing I do is when I get angry is to walk from the situation and walk for around 1 kilometer and this helps to pump more oxygen into my brain and helps me to calm a little and my energy and focus will change from the situation. One think you can do is ask him whenever he gets angry to just walk a little and come back and then tell how he feels and whatever he want to say. I think this most times works.
• Canada
7 Jun 09
actually i wouldnt go that for to yell at my gf i always try tosolve it calm not violently try talking to you bf slowly and easily :D
@tonyllenium (6260)
• Italy
7 Jun 09
ehehe..normally i never scream towards people i am a calm person so it is seldom to hear me scream towards others..or better you must do something really bad but normally it did not happen to me!!So normally it is happened seldom to scream towards my ex-girlfriend or partner!!I can't say that towards girls sometimes they scream scream why that?you know they are women they scream always even if there is no reason...
@smileonstar (4012)
• United States
6 Jun 09
hi, first I want to share my own experience with you and it might sound similar to you. My hubby used to have high temper and yelled at me every time he got angry. I was so mad and didn't like the way he was at all. So, the way he acted touch me so much that I've never been through before. My attitude started to change and start to get mad very easily, but now I changed already. If he cares and feel sorry for you after his yelling then he still have feeling for you but if he doesn't care about you then he just over it. You have to prepare to get to this point. Yelling at someone you love is not a nice thing to do and you should not let him do that to you either. my husband changed and he can't do it or never want to do it to me again. You know yourself better than him and why you let someone that you barely know to leading your life? you should be control yourself and your life... try to be on top of those man is the better way, dont let him know how you feel. Once he knows you love him so much then he will win everthing you have. Try to explain to him when he is happy, tell him what is really hurt you when he yells at you. Ask him how much he loves you and if he thinks a bit and answer you then you have to get over this, it is not worth anymore. I hope you feel better... the better way to treat this you have to find some point that make him feel guilty about and then he will stop doing it
• Singapore
6 Jun 09
I won't tolerate my boyfriends yelling at me. I know they care for me, jealous that I didn't give the same amount of care and concern to them as they have shown me, but I hate a guy that always pull a long face or yell at me everytime we are together. If you are upset coz of that,you need to tell him straight in the face. I don't know how to love someone with bad temper no matter how much love he showers me when he is in good mood.
@zackn87 (345)
• United States
6 Jun 09
my ex loved to shout and hit me. It was a rough 2 year relationship. im happy and sad its over. idk how to explain it. Relationships are sooooo hard!!
@macel19 (202)
• Philippines
6 Jun 09
I always remind my boyfriend about the tone of his voice everytime he is angry.But, eventhough I kept on reminding him he still shout at me sometimes. I really hate it everytime he do that, because I believed that It is not a good things for a man shouting to a woman. I also consider that if he can do that while we are not yet married how much more when I am already committed my life to him for the rest of my life. Maybe he will not only shout out me but he can hurt me more than that. Man should know how to control their temper no matter what.I hate to be shouted because i dont want to be emotionally disturbed.I never stop reminding him about the issue and he did promised me to change and be mindful about the tone of his voice, which I guess works but after 8 years of being together as my boyfriend I decided to leave him not only because of that issue but with a lot of character flaws.
@sk66rc (4257)
• United States
6 Jun 09
I believe it's normal for people to raise their voice or even yell @ someone when they're in an argument... I know my girl friend & I do that when we're in an argument... It would scare me even more if she didn't... We always try to keep in mind that there's a point to our arguments & take it for what it is, an argument... We try to stick to the reason why we got into an argument in the first place... That in itself has nothing to do with my feelings for her & vise versa... Sometimes she yells at me for the way I drive... And at times, I'd raise my voice if she's taking too long getting ready for something importnat...
@arkasen (748)
• India
6 Jun 09
I am in a steady relation and I love my girlfriend very much. I always try to keep my head cool when I get angry. I never shout on my girlfriend because I feel that problems can not be solved by shouting. I always belief that if we have some problem then it is always better to solve it with discussion. If I shout on her then it is quite obvious that she will feel that I do not care for her, at least at the time when I am shouting. If I have to make any point I think I can make it keeping my head cool. So it is always better to keep things calm and solve problems by discussing on them with your partner. This will also make you happy.