the more I know people....
By arkaf61
@arkaf61 (10881)
Canada
June 18, 2009 3:23pm CST
etc. etc. etc.....we all know that one.
Which doesn't make it any less "right on the dot" when it comes to some people.
Since January we are on this trying to buy my inlaws part of our house thing. They were the ones who mentioned it first. We didn't have to think much to decide we wanted it.
But it's turning to be a real saga.
First we went trough the effort of calling an appraisor ( at the cost ot $300) to appraise the house. Once we - we means me and hubby - did it and were told that the report would come in the mail. My mother in law started opening my mail. Hey.. hold on..that's my mail. "it was a mistake" " I thought it was for your father in law" "I read it wrong" and other similar excuses one will give when wanting to know the answer to something before the person that is actually entitled to know it= the one that paid for it.
Ok... so they finally accepted our offer. Cool:):):)No, not so cool because two weeks after accepting it, they changed their mind and decided to call someone to evaluate the house as well. First, while we made the effort to pay for a legitimate - accepted by the bank - evaluation, they got a real estate agent to come and do it for free. Now, I was already told that an agent will alway evaluate for higher because they're counting on selling it themselves and making the comission.
The funny part is that their evaluator gave a number even lower than ours heheh, but we weren't laughing for long.
We made our offer again- exactly the same, we won't offer one penny more - waited for 2 weeks for them to decided and were told by hubby's mom that yes, they accepted.
There I am trying to get the mortgage and go to the lawyer etc just to learn form mother in law, that nothing is decided yet.
Oooops.... I though it was.
SO now I was told that hubby only asked mom and didn't sit down with dad to talk about it. Wait, I thought that that was what the 2 weeks were for, to get dad's answer.And that mom said they accepted....
ANd I have to complete that mortgage application fast, before I am really unemployed.
DId you ever had a family member changing opinion every other hour? What happened?
2 people like this
5 responses
@GardenGerty (169568)
• United States
19 Jun 09
Ambie, I will meet you halfway or provide a ride. We can do this together, right? It will be an adventure.
2 people like this
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
19 Jun 09
WOW - I can't say I've ever had a family member or even friend that did even a fraction of the things your mother-in-law has done. Ungrateful is what it sounds like to me. Too bad you want it or I would suggest just letting them deal with it and see what they get out of it all - good chance they would have been much better dealing with you :)
Plus it's either this one or none, because that's all we can afford .. oh well..... @GardenGerty (169568)
• United States
19 Jun 09
I have not ever had this situation come up. It is frustrating, I am sure.
I am mostly posting here to show you my support friend, and to say I am glad to see you. I wish you all the luck in the world doing business with family members.
It is good to see you here. Are you losing your job? I have family members that tell lies all the way around, all of the time, or creative stories. Nothing people do surprises me anymore.
I am mostly posting here to show you my support friend, and to say I am glad to see you. I wish you all the luck in the world doing business with family members. It is good to see you here. Are you losing your job? I have family members that tell lies all the way around, all of the time, or creative stories. Nothing people do surprises me anymore.1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
14 Jul 09
I"m with you. |Nothing really surprises me anymore, but sometimes it bothers me :)
I actually don't think I will have a job coming september, but up to them, I still officially have one.
I'm not worried, I know I'll get another one without too many problems, but it looks better on a mortgage application if one works several years with the same employer.
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
18 Jun 09
Well, uh, yes, but I didn't hang around to let them change it after I was of legal age. I move far away and never looked back and when I married I made sure it was to someone who was NOT close to his mother. Ah, but it is too late for you to try that angle. I can only give you my sympathy...and hope to heck you are able to get them off the premises after the place is finally legally yours. Good luck!
2 people like this
@coffeebreak (17797)
• United States
18 Jun 09
My dad preached "Never do business with friends or relatives" my entire life and it wasn't until my first "endeavor" of such, the I had to say... "you were right dad". I was always one of positive thinking, friends and family are the best you can get..etc, etc. Yeah, right.
IF there is constant miscommunication... if you havent already... take a night and all four of you sit down and pull out the pens and tablets and write it all down, and sign it... that way if they back out, and you want to.. you can take them to court. however, most likely you won't want to do that, but at the same time... you will know their "final answer"... that they don't want to sell and you can set your sights on something else..just not that house.
Be careful about the appraiser you choose....not all appraisers are approved by all banks. Banks and mortgage companys often have their "own" or preferred appraisers.... meaning that the appraiser had to get "approved" with that bank or mortgage company for being licensed, accredited and accurate to appraise the bank/mortgage companys "new asset". You might get it appraised by a honest appraiser... but if he isn't "approved" by the lender... you'll have to do it again. And a real estate agent, usually isn't an appraiser of degree. He can come out and do the action of appraising it - all he needs is to know where to go on the internet for the info he needs.. and say it appraises for X amount. But if he isn't licensed and all....his appraisal isn't worth squat. I used to be a mortgage loan processor so I know this.
I myself wouldn't take the word from a real estate agent anyway... kind of like mixing "business with pleasure"...he wants the highest price for the house so he gets a higher commission.. or a lower price for the house to make the sale....and it is easy to structure an appraisal either way...trust me... I've seen it done!
Do yourself a favor and keep it seperate.. just choose a RE agent and then go find an appraiser. YOu don't need anymore headaches that you already have!!!
2 people like this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
14 Jul 09
Yep ,my mom used to tell me the same thing your dad preached.
We are finally going to be able to get everything written down and done by a lawyer because it's safer LOL
Now the problem is that I don't have a job - hmm bad for trying a mortgage hey? Still since officially I still have a job until september, I'm going to try an do it fast and see if it works.
