I didn't ask for your advice!!

United States
July 9, 2009 8:43am CST
Do you like when people try to give you advice? Do you have times where you feel like shouting at them for giving advice when you didn't ask for it? I've been in a bad mood lately, and have only my troubles on my mind. Yes I've spoken about them, just to let others know why I'm in such a terrible mood. Then suddenly I'll get the one or two people who try to tell me how to fix all my problems. Of course these people don't know my circumstances, so I get aggravated. It's probably just my bad mood causing the aggravation though. How do you feel when people try to give you advice you didn't ask for. Does it aggravate you when it's useless advice because the person doesn't truly understand your circumstance? Are you the type of person who offers advice even when nobody has asked you for it?
2 people like this
17 responses
@mtdewgurl74 (18118)
• United States
10 Jul 09
I hate to admit it but, I do tend to give unwanted advice more then I should. Sorry if you have been given any by me that was uncalled for.
• United States
10 Jul 09
You haven't.. not that I can remember, even if you did, I can forgive you!
@mtdewgurl74 (18118)
• United States
10 Jul 09
Phew!that is a relief..cause sometimes I can be annoyingly nosy when giving advice..lol
• United States
10 Jul 09
I'm probably the same exact way, I just don't normally notice. I never question whether or not I do something until I realize how much it bothers me, now I have to be on the look out for if I do this.
• United States
9 Jul 09
Well to be honest, you kind of did ask for it. If you dont want peoples advice dont tell them your problems. If you want to explain your mood just say its personal. Most people have a tendancy to want to try and solve any problem or to try and help. Maybe they were just trying to give you another angle to look at your problem with. And if you wanted to vent dont do it to people that dont know your circumstances. 9 times out of 10, you will talk about a problem because you dont know how to solve it on your own, knowingly or unknowingly. You will always get unsolicited advice. Just because they give it doesnt mean you have to take it.
• Brunei Darussalam
9 Jul 09
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• Brunei Darussalam
9 Jul 09
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• Brunei Darussalam
9 Jul 09
Sorry I just cant post my message correctly. It keeps on posting different than what i expected. This is the repost: Hi, I do sometimes have the same situation as you did. Haha yes I do feel that I'm going to punch the person who thinks that they can just give obvious advices which we already know. If I were them, I wouldn't be giving advices unless that ask for it.
@ravinskye (8242)
• United States
9 Jul 09
I tend to get aggravated too. I tend to offer up advice a lot but I usually wait until it is asked for. Or I will give examples of how I have done things, but not in a way that makes people think that their way is wrong. I've been doing that alot with my sister lately. She is having trouble with her two year old. He is a very picky eater. They let it go though and now he is too the point where he is 2 years old and weighs like 35 lbs. (as much as my 4 year old). And he will only eat macaroni and cheese and mashed potatoes. Sad right? I've been trying to give her ideas to try with him that worked for my kids. But i remind her constantly that she doesn't have to do them, I'm just trying to help and give her some other options to try.
• United States
9 Jul 09
My husband's parents did the same thing with him when he was little... it was too hard to force him to eat what he was supposed to, so now in his mid-thirties he still won't eat any vegetables. I have a hard time forcing him to even try new things. I could slap his mother in the face for allowing him to be this way it gets so aggravating sometimes!!
@ZephyrSun (7385)
• United States
9 Jul 09
I get upset about everyone trying to give me advice about my ex husband because that situation noone understands unless they know the whole story. I get so sick of hearing, "you should coopperate with him better", I could just scream LOL. I don't really offer advice unless asked but, sometimes if someone is talking about a problem they have that I have had as well I will tell them how I dealt with it.
• United States
9 Jul 09
It's one thing to say "This is what I did" or "What I would do is.." It's totally different to say "You should..." I hate hearing those words, it drives me nuts!! Who are you to tell me what I should and shouldn't do?
@cher913 (25870)
• Canada
9 Jul 09
i found that when i was pregnant with my daughters i was given tons of unsolicited advice. the best piece of advice was to say thank you to these well meaning (or nosy) people and do your own thing!
@megaplaza (1438)
• Nigeria
9 Jul 09
I guess that's the best, cause when you fail, they will be the first to judge you. Just do your thing, so that when you fail you hold yourself responsible
@ersmommy1 (12598)
• United States
20 Jul 09
Oh sure. I have gotten advice I didn't want to hear. And I am sure I have given some too. I think it is just human nature. I try to just let it roll off my back. Then sometimes I vent on my hubby.
• United States
13 Jul 09
yeah but i try to not get too mad unless they are the types that think they can solve all my problems in one little step them that makes me mad.. people always go to me for advice so im used to giving it but i also wait till im asked or feel as if im being asked.. some times people just want to talk it out and then you just gotta listen.. but i cant stand it when people think that all my problems can be solved simply when they dont even know 10% of my problems and when i try to explain its not that simple then they at like i WANT the problems i have.. some people just need to hear themselves talk i think lol
• Philippines
10 Jul 09
Yes, I feel irritated too when someone gives me advice well in fact I just to be heard. Sometimes, I just want someone to listen to me and that's all. I do not give advice to people who do not ask for it.
@lingli_78 (12841)
• Australia
10 Jul 09
oh yes... i had experienced that a few times as well... sometimes we just want people to listen to our problems without commenting... but some people just can't do that... they have to offer unnecessary advice and i usually just ignore them... if i feel the advice is useful, then i might take it into consideration... otherwise, i just let them go and say thanks to the person... take care and have a nice day...
• United States
10 Jul 09
um no i never have that problem but when i'm watching tv i feel that way. everyone always giving them advice and i'm like leave the character alone let them do what they want to do. i think i mainly give advice to people and no one ever gives it to me. i feel the opposite on how your feeling. i want advice i want people to tell me what to do. i think it might help and make my problem simplier.
9 Jul 09
I think it is human nature that if you know a friend is having a bad time, you want to help out and quite often the advice given at this time is usually not the greatest because as you point out quite often you will not know the full circumstances. But then it is also often the case people speak without thinking and don't realise that in fact you don't want advice, you just want to have a good moan about something and let off some verbal steam. I also think it is absolutely natural to be aggrevated even more by the majority of advice given at this time. I know from personal experience that if I am having a tought time the last thing I want is someone telling me what I should do and it usually makes me just more cheesed off with everything and everyone. Nor mally I manage to restrain myself from shouting at them but have done in the past only to feel even worse for doing so later on.
• Philippines
9 Jul 09
No, i would just say thank you for that. It is much better to say thanks than to get so negative specially people would just try to sympathize or empathize at you. Even if they don't know the real situation, but for me, it's not a big deal if they have given such a comment or suggestion even not intended or needed. What to do? all of us are different, people have different views and opinions and how they handle such situation. So just be thankful for nothings and think more positive even if all of us really have a very bad day. You will regret why you have done or say a word when it is not necessarily called for anyway when people say their thoughts.
• India
9 Jul 09
1st of all nothing is absolutely free in this world even a bad advice. second every problem has a sloution and same is available with the same indiidual. thirdly. solutions comes when you are able to think logically on this and anger only waste energy. forth most valuable thing in this workd is time. i wont advise any body.
@dpk262006 (56762)
• Delhi, India
9 Jul 09
Hi there! If my near and dear ones/friends give me advice (may be unsolicited) I just listen to them very patiently because I see no harm in carefully listening to them. After they have done with, it is upto me to follow their advice. It is possible, they may be giving me a useful advice about which I could not have thought of. I believe others are intelligent and wise enough and they might be giving advice for my welfare.
• Philippines
9 Jul 09
I like to get some advice from my friends whenever I have problems. I do not give advice if no one is asking for my advice.
@jules67 (2790)
• Philippines
9 Jul 09
Honestly, I would not mind if people would give me unsolicited advice. They might help me feel better. I do know that they mean well. It is still up to me to follow them or not. The decision would still be in my hands.