How would you react if your daughter tells you that she is pregnant ?

@jaiho2009 (38990)
Philippines
July 16, 2009 4:23pm CST
I had one and only daughter and she's 15 and on her 10th standard at school.I was thinking if one day she will suddenly burst and say "mom i am pregant "(oh my gosh,i really don't know how would i react on this) Thinking about young teeners in this modern days.How would you react on this my friend? And if anyone had experience like this kindly tell us your feelings and reactionn regarding this,i would be happy to know.
4 people like this
27 responses
@roberten (3131)
• United States
17 Jul 09
My heart would sink and I would feel the weight of the world around my shoulders; I would tear up and feel let down. After a moment or two, I would take a deep breath and then get on with the business of living. My youngest is 18 and I hope she waits until she is married before having any children. Either way I would support her as much as possible.
@jaiho2009 (38990)
• Philippines
17 Jul 09
This would be a natural reaction dear coz we failed from our expectation and we felt we lost everything...(ugh...i can't imagine myself crying like a child with a broken toy ) But after that,the mother's heart will always be there to give her best for her daughter =) Thanks for your responce dear
1 person likes this
@janebeth (2033)
• Philippines
17 Jul 09
hi jaiho, that is really a tough question for a mother... i am still at my 22 but if ever i will be a mother and my daughter will give me that bad news, OMG i feel i am drowning, too young for her to be pregnant, and what if the guy is also young.. i don't know what to do..!! but probably i will accept her to the fullest, there it is already.. no return no exchange..!! janebeth...
1 person likes this
@neildc (17251)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
17 Jul 09
hi jane. no return no exchange? what is this, an rtw? this is why parents should be always at their kids side, to guide them, and to make sure they will not get lost in their ways. what most parents dislike with their kids, being hard-headed. and when they got wrong along the way, who will be blamed, parents, right? neil
@jaiho2009 (38990)
• Philippines
17 Jul 09
Hello there jane, Just like what neil says,what is it an RTW (lolz)thanks for making me smile (ugh). If the guy is also with her age (which i anticipated of course,if it is older or too much older then i will sue the guy with "corruption of minor")But if the guy is at her age too,it's natural,maybe i will talk with the guy's parents since the baby is their grandchild also. Thanks for your responce too =)
@phesaru (300)
• Philippines
17 Jul 09
just accept the truth that your daughter feels the happiness in her life..hehe abortion is a sin,,,you should better raise your grand daughter than abort it..
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (38990)
• Philippines
17 Jul 09
Oh i won't never consider abortion as an answer dear,yes,i guess i would be a happy grandmother then.(hehehe)im still too young to become a grandma (uh uh) Thanks my friend for your responce=)
1 person likes this
• India
17 Jul 09
ya you are right just accepting truth and live frankly and happily.
@neildc (17251)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
17 Jul 09
dear jaiho, i probably would not know either if this will happen to my daughter. it's really difficult to anticipate reaction of parents when their kids experience misfortune, if i may say, specially when they are too young for that. but there is one girl whom i know for sometimes now. who happened to get pregnant with his boyfriend when she was only 18 years old. the age probably is not an issue there. but though they were sweethearts, she was not ready for it and she dislikes was her boyfriend did. so she went home and left her boyfriend without him knowing the girl got pregnant. when she told her father about what happened to her, that she is pregnant, father got angry in the instance. but when asked, "do you love him?", she replied, "yes". you know what happened next and that was the end of her story. neil
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (38990)
• Philippines
17 Jul 09
With your responce above,it is common to blame the parents with kids wrong doins and i totally disagree with it.No matter how we support and guide our kids,they had their freewill to do what they want to do.And the environment had a great part of their growing up and consider the influences of friends and surroundings.So,i never had in mind to blame any parents for their kids mistakes. Anyway,thanks for your responce dear =)
@doryvien (2293)
• United States
17 Jul 09
I don't have a daughter, but I vividly remember how my mother looked when my elder sister who was then 19yrs old told her she was pregnant, it was like the world closed down on her and for once I saw her so helpless. But it only took a while, and after the shock she was herself again, taking control of the situation, and immediately decided that she will support my sister all the way. My sis delivered a healthy baby boy who has become my mother's most precious grandchild. After giving birth my sister went back to college, and my mother never wavered in her love and support for her. I guess most mothers are like that, they never give up on their children no matter what it takes.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (38990)
• Philippines
17 Jul 09
Most mother's are always the first person to understand such situation,so i admire your mom for being so brave my friend.You are so lucky to have a mother like her. Thanks for sharing this =)
• Philippines
17 Jul 09
if my daughter would tell me that despite of her young age, she is already pregnant, then ill let her carry that child..it was never her fault if she got pregnant, maybe they tried the safest thing but due to some fortuitous events, it did bear a child..as long as, the boyfriend of my daughter wont leave her behind, its ok with me..and the thing is done, regrets are no use, so let the baby live, let them live, dont abandon them, you are the first person who would understand her because you are her parent..the best thing you could do is to support her..
@jaiho2009 (38990)
• Philippines
17 Jul 09
The first and foremost person to accept these are we,as parents.You are right my friend,we should do all our very best to support them. Thanks for your responce =)
@sid556 (30997)
• United States
17 Jul 09
I have a 15 yr old and I hope and pray that I am never put in that spot. I can't with any honesty tell you how I'd react. I know that it isn't what I'd hope for my daughter. I do know that once the initial reaction wore off then we'd find a way to deal with the situation.
@jaiho2009 (38990)
• Philippines
17 Jul 09
I can understand your feelings dear friend.We never ever want to think this will gonna ever to our kids.Sometimes we always think all the good sides and lo! the way turns wrong and we are not ready for it.But,of course as a mother we will always be there for our daughter. thanks for your responce =)
@vingyan06 (2488)
• Malaysia
17 Jul 09
My daughter is only 3 years old. But once in a while I will discuss with hubs about her future and many questions would come out in my mind. But of course I never think about serious question like this... I will get a heart attack. I hope I could have a peaceful mind to settle this with her. I cross my fingers so that this would not happen to me.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (38990)
• Philippines
17 Jul 09
Oh i too crossed my fingers this will not ever gonna happen to any of our daughter my friend.This is a natural reaction for us,as a mother,we always wanted the best for our child. Thanks for your responce =)
@jayrene (2712)
• Philippines
17 Jul 09
my eldest daughter is already 13. by the time she had her first period i told her that she can already get pregnant so she better be not doing something stupid and do something that she will regret for the rest of her life. back to your question... i would be very disappointed and upset at first with that news. then after i have cooled down, we will talk about it and would support her with everything, there's nothing i can do but to accept the fact that its already there and im going to be a grandma...
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (38990)
• Philippines
17 Jul 09
Maybe one of the first reaction is "disappointment" for we had all the greatest dreams for our children.But sometimes things really caught in wrong way,so,what we need is to prepare ourselves with it. Thanks for your responce my friend =)
• China
17 Jul 09
I am still young and a virgin. In my opinion, you are a very imaginative mother. I have to say don not find worry about the impossible thing on your own daughter. Pls trust her.If one day, you will hear this, it shows your bad education.
@mzz663 (2773)
• United States
17 Jul 09
I don't think it has anything to do with bad education. It has to do with bad choices and decisions.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (38990)
• Philippines
17 Jul 09
I respect your opinion here my friend,but don't u ever blame any parents for their kids doing.Maybe there are times that some parents didn't guide their kids or don't have time to share some moments with their kids.But in every action a child would do,it is their own choices and no parents would ever dictate their kids to do wrong things. Good for you,you are still a virgin,hope u will maintain and stay virgin before u got married.Goodluck! Thanks for your responce
@ShibbyKid (279)
• United States
17 Jul 09
I think you should be understanding, yes it is coming from a sixteen year old who is against teen pregnancy, but family should be together through thick and thin. Mom's are daughters best call when they are in trouble, they know them better than anyone. You might be shocked at first because she never really seemed like the type to do that to herself, but a lot of teens are doing it because they feel it is the in thing to do and some suffer the consequences because of it. After that, they just really need understanding, no judgment, and open arms.
@jaiho2009 (38990)
• Philippines
17 Jul 09
This would be really shocking if happens to my daughter dear.She's really not the type of this,but,just like what u said,most teens now are doing things they think is okay.I will be with an open arms to accept her fate,thu this would be hurting and dismay. Thanks for your responce =)
• United States
17 Jul 09
I'm sure all parents feel that way with their children. I hope you both the best, no regrets.(:
• Philippines
27 Jul 09
Of course at first, i will get devastated for what she did..but after a while lowering down my temper, i would understand and support her because my anger and frustration can't turn back time and might only get worse.it's the worst of teenage times for them. that's why some are even more protective.
@jaiho2009 (38990)
• Philippines
27 Jul 09
Hello there my friend, Uhmn,thanks for your responce,you sounds mature in here .Yes,it's anormal feeling to be devastated for it seems the whole world crushed right down infront of our eyes.Seems like all great dreams vanished in a flash,but,after all,we will come to realization that,this is life,and has to go on. Have a good day my friend
@sblossom (2169)
17 Jul 09
i think before it happened you already thought about your reaction. if means you really know the modern world. It must happen a lot with people around you then it made you think about it. Or you just watched TV and got the feeling like that. Anyway if i were the mother who's daughter got pregnant when she's just 15 years, i might be a little surprised and a little upseting, but i would not show it to my daughter. i will talk seriously with her and to know what happened, and tell her what will happen. Basically i will let the daughter realizing her mistake but not too frustrating.
@jaiho2009 (38990)
• Philippines
22 Jul 09
This thing came up to my mind,but the action neither be concluded.It's not in the real state when we face the situation in reality.I posted this topic for somehow heared views from friends who ever experienced this thing in real life event,and i was right,there were responces that they had encountered this and i am thankful for friends who shares their views and opinions too. Anyway,thanks for your responce friend
@shia88 (4581)
• Malaysia
17 Jul 09
I never encounter this question and I really don't have an experience on what will be my answer if this things really happened. As a mom, it is best to ask our dotter..who is the father of the baby? Let's have a chat with the guy and he shoudl be responsible for the thing he has done.
@jaiho2009 (38990)
• Philippines
22 Jul 09
Talking with the concern party i think is a must,but it is not becoz i want my daughter to be married to their son,i won't never consider marriage at this early age or any agreement of living together. Thanks for your responce my friend
@Xituwa (21)
17 Jul 09
this is a problem .i am a 23 year old girl.but if this happened to me .i think what i can to is to ask my mam and beg her help .i can't have this child .what i can do ? i think is just to have a miscarriage.yes the best to way to protect her .
@jaiho2009 (38990)
• Philippines
22 Jul 09
The first thing to do is really to ask help from mother,and if you can't take having the baby,i guess your mom knows what is best for you. Then,just take care so you will not face this kind of situation my dear. Thanks for your responce
@Rodlkm (123)
• Malaysia
17 Jul 09
I think this is the one question that every parent who has a daughter dreads the most. Natural reaction would be one of anger but I guessed it is more disappointment and fear. Disappointed that our daughter had been so irresponsible and fear for her future, safety, emotions etc etc. I really wish that I would never have to hear this statement. But if it does come, beneath all the anger, frustration and disappointment, she is and will remain our jewel and baby. Hence, I believe we will do everything we can to support her to go through her emotional and physical changes and do our very best to ensure that she and her baby would have the most loving tender support and care that every child should have.
@jaiho2009 (38990)
• Philippines
17 Jul 09
Very well said my friend.I can feel your being a good parent. Natural reaction from a very loving parent and with high expectations from their children.And every parent so am i really wish for a good life for our kids. Thanks for your responce =)
@osris61 (107)
• United States
17 Jul 09
Hi, I do have a daughter, just one. She is 21 now and when she was 15 she came to me she told me she was pregnant!!! Yes, at first I was mad but I stood by her side and she had the baby. I helped her raise the child, a beautiful little girl. It wan't easy. When my daughter first had her she was so young and still wanted her freedom. She would take off and run around with her friends and leave us with baby. Now that she is older, my daughter that is, she is a good mother. Everything has worked out. She has her own place and is doing great.
@jaiho2009 (38990)
• Philippines
17 Jul 09
This is one thing i had in mind,she's young and a mother.But deep inside she's still a baby herself that needs care and would still like to play around.Ohhh,you are so great for enduring all these my friend i salute you as a mother =) Thanks for your responce =)
@gicolet (1703)
• United States
17 Jul 09
No parent is prepared for this. I am very close with my 2 daughters and my 15 yr-old is a very good girl. As far as I'm concerned I've given her friendly and motherly advices through the years. I will be extremely disappointed if she come up to me one day and tell me that she's pregnant. As my natural reaction I would be mad and upset but I'm not a nagging person so I most likely would rather not to talk to her for a couple of hours. I'd rather do that than hurt her feelings by saying bad words to her that I know I would definitely regret later on. My not talking to her for awhile is my way of controlling my anger and outburst but I love my daughter so much and I will be there for her no matter what. It's one of those trying times that any daughter would need their mom the most.
@jaiho2009 (38990)
• Philippines
17 Jul 09
No parent ever want their kids to have a bad life,and this would be a shocking relevation.You are right my friend,this is the best moment i can show my daughter how much i loved her. Thanks for your responce =)
@rainmark (4302)
16 Jul 09
I don't have yet a daughter. I have only 19 months old son. But i do have lots of sisters. Well my sister next to me,got pregnant when were at college. I was in 4th year college and she was on her 2 years vocational course and i found out from a friend that she was pregnant. My reaction was blank! As in speechless. I can't believed it and i just cried of disappointment, and im afraid coz im in-charged of her and i justlet her get pregnant specially when my mum was working overseas. It was a big blame on me. But that was before, im glad that she will settling now and getting married and redeem herself from what happened before. Happy myloting.
@jaiho2009 (38990)
• Philippines
17 Jul 09
I can understand what u feel that time my friend.I myself was an eldest and i know the obligation given to us by our parents when it comes to taking care with our younger siblings.And our mom also is working overseas. I am glad to know your sister is now happy with new family... Thanks for your responce =)
• Philippines
17 Jul 09
hi my friends u know idont have daughter but i have a son he is one yrs oldfor me if i have daughter if she tell she is fregnant i will talk to know who is the father if willing to marry of my daughterthank u for ur sharin