Prosit! Major Life Ending Social Faux Pax
By TheRealDawn
@dawnald (85137)
Shingle Springs, California
July 29, 2009 11:13pm CST
Got home a little late from work today and there was the mother-in-law getting out of her car at the bottom of the driveway. So I waited for her and gave her a ride up. It's a long, steep driveway.
After dinner we brought out a bottle of wine and, because they're German, they did the mandatory prosit, clink glasses thing. So I raised my glass and didn't think anything more of it.
Come up to bed later and my a** reamed because "when someones says prosit you raise your glass, say prosit and drink." Huh? I don't think I said prosit, but I raised my dang glass and if I didn't drink a sip immediately, I did soon after.
30 years together, 26 years married, and all of a sudden today it's a major social faux pax?
Or was somebody just being an a**?
Apparently German social conventions are far more important than offering a little old lady a ride up a steep driveway.
PS Does anybody know if this would really be a big deal in German social circles or was somebody just raring for a fight?
End rant.
5 people like this
12 responses
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
30 Jul 09
In Germany it would be considered a bit of a faux pas by the 'oldsters'. I doubt very much the younger generations would really care all that much.
In my humble opinion dawn, your 'other half' (I can't say 'better half' because clearly YOU are the better half, not him) is just spoiling for any excuse to make you feel bad. This is the begining of the end of a marriage and in your shoes, I'd pay attention to it and begin thinking along those lines and taking steps to protect yourself against the day when he just comes out and says "It's over.....".
Sorry, but that's how I read what's happening with you and your hubs. Been there, seen the signs and know them well.
1 person likes this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
30 Jul 09
My heart goes out to you dawn. If there is anything I can do.........I've seen several friends here, through this, so pick my brain when the time comes.......no worries.
1 person likes this
@rogue13xmen13 (14402)
• United States
30 Jul 09
I have never heard of Germans doing this, and I have been to many German events. I have been with many German families, and I have never heard this done. They must from a different part of Germany than the people I know. I know of "Das Boot", bratwurst, and other things like that, but never prosits. That is a new one for me.
What part of Germany are these people from?
1 person likes this
@rogue13xmen13 (14402)
• United States
30 Jul 09
I am so sorry that you have to go through that, you need to have a serious talk with your husband and tell him how you feel about all of this.
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
30 Jul 09
The thing is, if it were a tradition and if it had very rigid rules and if it were really important, you'd think somebody would've taken the time to explain that to me! lol
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
30 Jul 09
My mother-in-law's family is from Mecklenburg and my father-in-law's family is from Leipzig. They say "prosit" which means cheers. I've seen it done often. But nobody ever made a stinkin' big deal about the exact protocol before.
1 person likes this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
3 Aug 09
It might be considered a bit of a sleight if you were with "old school" people or at a special ceremonial dinner or something, but I doubt many people these days would be concerned about the nuances of prosit during an informal occasion such as this one? I'm sorry to say that it appears to be a case of nit picking for the sake of it more than anything else. 
1 person likes this
lol.
@babyangie27 (5176)
• United States
4 Aug 09
Seems like someone starting a fight for the sake of fighting. Maybe since finding out about your Aspergers that he is having a hard time dealing with it. I know many times when someone has been with someone doesn't matter how long and a disease or something else medical,emotional,physiological becomes involved in the relationship it overwhelms the person and a tare begins between the two involved. I know my husband and I have a hard time because of my daughters disabilities.
However him loving your quirkiness until now makes me wonder if maybe he just doesn't want "out" and has no Cojones to tell you so.
@babyangie27 (5176)
• United States
4 Aug 09
Could his Mother be attacking him over things and instead of lashing out on her he does it to you? Either way it isn't right
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 Aug 09
He says his mom didn't say anything. I think it was bothering him more that I left, actually.
@snowy22315 (209132)
• United States
31 Jul 09
i have no idea about this maybe someone who is German can tell you whethere or not it is a faux pas. I could not tell you one way or the other. I didnt know Germans said Prosit when they toast. I think Scndavians say "Skoal" when they are toasting. And other people just say cheers or something similar.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
31 Jul 09
Looking around, no Germans here! Oh well, I could always e-mail his cousin. lol
@cynthiann (18612)
• Jamaica
30 Jul 09
The only faux pas I see committed were on your husband's side as a gentleman would not berate someone - especially someone he loves - for something so stupid as that.
forgive me as I do not mean to sound offensive but from past posts it would seem that he does have anger issues with both you and the children. Start a separate bank account in someone else's name - someone you trust - and start stashing away as much as you can in this account as an emergency may arise and you need to be liquid.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
30 Jul 09
Yeah, seems like I may very well have to...
@nannacroc (4049)
•
30 Jul 09
Sounds like someone's out to annoy you. I doubt very much if this is really a big deal, just someone in a funny mood.
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
30 Jul 09
too many funny moods and too much temper lately
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 Dec 15
Yeah, and he said something stupid that pissed me off just today...
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
30 Jul 09
i'd just plead ignorance at that point and hope it gets dropped.
my half aunt is german by my grandfather's 4th wife (yes,he was a busy guy) and i tell them point blank i haven't a clue unless they tell me beforehand.
i appearently made a big faux paux by not eating cookies offered once.
i wasn't hungry..
but then,any grandma gets angry about that one.you will eat!
but then,any grandma gets angry about that one.you will eat!1 person likes this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
30 Jul 09
Oh but they slaved over the cookies for weeks and weeks....
Yeah I pled ignorance. And was directed to ask people who was right and who was wrong.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
30 Jul 09
I don't blame u for ranting. Sounds like someone was looking for a fight to me. AS my son told me when he was little when i started to go somewhere that i had better MIND MY NANNERS, LOL. u BETTER SHAPE UP, LOL.tHEY SHOULD BE USE TO U AFTER THAT MANY YEARS, DON'T U THINK???
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
30 Jul 09
Yeah, I would think. Silly me. Thinking's my problem apparently. lol
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
30 Jul 09
Hi dawnald,
I can't understand why anyone could be so petty over a saying, come on, you are not a German, so why should you? at least you raised your glasses so isen't that enough? think its a pick a fight or you didn't impress mother-in-law, lol!
Tamara
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
30 Jul 09
the mother-in-law didn't have anything to do with it, far as I know...
@debrakcarey (19887)
• United States
30 Jul 09
I don't know about German social conventions. But I do know that something appears to be bothering someone and they're taking it out on someone else. I'd ask Mother if she was offended by your toast. If she says 'yes' remind her of the ride up the driveway.
But before you take my advice, (if you do) remember that I am a big mouth and that I usually make things worse. 
btw...what does Prosit mean?
btw...what does Prosit mean? 1 person likes this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
30 Jul 09
It wasn't her that picked the fight but perhaps she said something to him.
Prosit means cheers.
which reminds me, will try to get back to the club today and add some words...
