My BF committed a mortal sin!!!

@Theresaaiza (10487)
Australia
August 3, 2009 4:11am CST
He forgot our anniversary. Two weeks have actually passed since our anniversary, and yet, I still feel so upset. According to him, he got so busy with work that he forgot all about it and in fairness to him,he did some effort to make the day worthwhile, or to make up for it. And yet, despite all that he has done for me that day, I still felt so bad. How could he forget such an important occasion? I know I shouldn't nag him for it, I should get over the feeling, and I should understand him,. But right now, I am tired with doing and feeling what I "SHOULD". I actually find myself very cranky these days. It seems like anything he does is never enough. I feel taken for granted. I want his attention. I want to punish him for his mortal sin! I do want to get over it though because it's affecting our relationship. I know I am irrational. Who among you here can relate to this story? How did you get over the feeling?
5 people like this
24 responses
@HelScream (2822)
• Philippines
3 Aug 09
hmmmm I think thats a little harsh my friend well anyways there are still lots of years to come in your relationship I never pass by my relationship with my gf forgetting this stuff though either it is me who reminds her or her reminds me we made an agreement to remind ourselves on our monthsary so there wont be any reason for arguments if one of us forgets...hope both of you get over it soon....
1 person likes this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
3 Aug 09
Hi helscream....I guess I expected to be surprised. And ended up....surprised that he forgot. Coz u know what, I was really looking forward to the occasion since the start of the month. You should have seen the look on his face when I handed him my gift. He was even asking for whom the gift was when he first saw me holding something in my hand. Then when he opened the card, I saw that look on his face...shock, guilt.....you could tell that he really forgot. And he confirmed later on that he did forget.
@HelScream (2822)
• Philippines
5 Aug 09
thanks for the complement angel there are lots of us out there my friend it would really depend on how you handle your man..I am not saying I am perfect in having a relationship it's how my girl treats me that makes me what I am and its how I treat her that makes her who she is in the relationship we have have a great day my friend.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Aug 09
I wish guys are as open-minded as you are.You really know how to work things out so there won't be any problem.I pray that I can meet a guy like you,you're one in a million for me.
1 person likes this
@bhabytart (1116)
• Philippines
3 Aug 09
hello there theresa! its me bhabytart!!! hmmmm... your lucky!lol... you have a boyfriend not like me still waiting for the somebody.... well i nothing much to say but LOVE CONQUERS ALL....try putting your self into his shoes... would you think it would be fair to him?just enjoy the time you are with him.... remember you are fortunate to have a boyfriend not all have boyfriends you know. like me... i would really love to have one soon... lol... have a nice day... and please give my regards to tracy dear.... ;0)
1 person likes this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
6 Aug 09
Thank you guys...this made me see his worth as a boyfriend. But don't be desperate, you will find your mr.right soon enough.
@bhabytart (1116)
• Philippines
6 Aug 09
thank you dear... oh please give my regards to tracy dear.... i havent send her an email this week. i have been busy.... take care... have a nice day...
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
dont worry, ur not alone pal...same here..are we unfortunate being single and still waiting for the right man?i think mr.cupid is too busy and overlooked us..nyehehhe!i think i have to agree with you..maybe it was just an honest mistake of his BF..he just totally forgotten the anniv coz of work..it wasnt his intention and atleast he tried to make it up..try to understand him ms. theresa before anything gets worse..hmmm..that would be so pathetic if the problem gets bigger..hope you know what i mean..a heart-to-heart conversation perhaps will end this issue.tell him all and have an agreement about that..hope this could help...god bless ur relationship!
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
4 Aug 09
I think when I was much younger those sort of things maybe bothered me more. You just get used to it....its life. My husband used to forget my birthday each year and it was at first hurtful and then just amusing and after a while...I really didn't care. I had the same birthday as his mom so how could he forget because he never ever forgot hers.I, myself, tend to forget things too and it has nothing at all to do with the person. This year, I totally spaced my daughter and son-in-laws anniversary. I felt horrible. I had so much going on that it just slipped my mind.I think you should let it go and get back into your relationship. It is how you interact with each other day to day that matters the the most. Don't let your relationship fail over this. In the grand scheme of things, it really is trivial. You know that. Forgive him...its a forgivable crime. I think you'll both feel better.
1 person likes this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
14 Aug 09
I love how you said forgivable crime...but it's a crime nonetheless! haha....yeah u r right about it being trivial. Atually we talked about it and I said sorry for being such a brat. I myself have forgotten his bday way way way back. That was ages though but still I too forget things. Were ok now
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
3 Aug 09
Well dear one, Did he forget what day your anniversary is on, or did he forget what day it was? I have had that problem with dates many times in the past, I know what day her birthday is, or our anniversary, or whatever..But sometimes I forget that, that is today. It is hardly a mortal sin. If you feel taken for granted though, why not take a hiatus? Go off for the weekend or even a week with a bunch of your girlfriends. Absence does sometimes make the love grow stronger. Punishment will only cause resentment. It is a bad bad bad idea. Bring it up, how you feel in a personal conversation, where you both LISTEN to each other. Perhaps this way you can work out all your problems. Cheers.
1 person likes this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
6 Aug 09
Hi CJ, thanks for the wonderful response. I could relate to that situation where I know the date and day, but I just have gotten time-warped and forgot that it is today. Absence does make the heart grow fonder that is why I took the time-off, begged him to leave me alone for the time and after a while, when the bad feeling has subsided, we patched things up. And I said sorry.
1 person likes this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
8 Aug 09
Why, thank you CJ for your wonderful responses too. I am sorry for taking too long to respond though. I get busy most of the time and I have to set aside my mylot life. I am glad to know that I am mature sometimes in dealing with love problems....hehe. I do admit of acting childish sometimes but it subsides, and then things get better in the end. Believe me, your advices did help me big-time.
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
6 Aug 09
You said sorry for over reacting that he forgot your anniversary. That is very mature of you dear one. Way to be. And he did try so hard to make it up to you, that shows true love and commitment in my mind, because if he had not cared so much, he would have just offered a weak apology. I am very happy it all work out for you in the end, and for the follow, I really appreciate when someone takes the time to tell me how things went and are. I appreciate you!
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
gladly, i haven't experienced this with my boyf. i probably wouldn't talk to him for weeks when he does that, unless he's a got a reasonable explanation for it. lol
1 person likes this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
14 Aug 09
I do wish he ever wont forget special occasions but in case he does, dont be brat like me who is self centered at times. Try to dig into the reasons why he forgot. Oh, and now I am advising!!! hahaha
@buffyb (14)
• South Africa
4 Aug 09
oh! get over it!!!! some people remember dates, and some don't. Quite frankly, I find those who don't are more genuine. At least he loves you! Would you rather have someone who remembers every "date" but forgets to treat you speacial every day? To me it sounds like you got a gem - look after him. ( and I bet, if you told him - subtly - a day before the "date" he would probably surprise you. Don't be so AR!!
1 person likes this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
8 Aug 09
Exactly! Wow! You said it all right. I feel so guilty for being shallow and childish at times. He is a gem. ANd I should see his worth.
@KupoSin (680)
• United States
3 Aug 09
well yeah that is a pretty bad thing, but not that bad that its categorized as a sin. i forgot aobut mine beofre and she was pissed. we just made up by having a great time together another day. if he realizes later that he forgot and is trying to make up for it, then forgive him. but dont be too harsh, you dont want to break over for soemtinhg like this
1 person likes this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
8 Aug 09
You are right, it was very childish of me. We have patched things up already. Thank you for all your advices.
@jpso138 (7851)
• Philippines
3 Aug 09
Well sometimes people commit mistakes. I think you should give him a chance to explain and weigh out things whether you should feel the way you are feeling right now. Though in my case, I have never forgotten an anniversary. But I am different and your BF is different. Try to sit down with each other and have a heart to heart talk. I am sure that you will find the answers to your question. Wishing you and your BF the best....
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
6 Aug 09
Good for you sir not to forget special occasions. We have had a heart to heart talk about it and we have patched it up. His offense wasn't that big really. It was how I have reacyted that made things really worse.
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
3 Aug 09
i would say that is a mortal sin, but he could had gotten busy and just forgot, if he made it up to you that is what matter. when some guys have g/f we dont always remember our annivesaries when we got together, only when you get married that is different
1 person likes this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
6 Aug 09
yeah, I know it's not really such a big thing. It's really forgivable. I guess I was just being a brat.
@eLsMarie (4346)
• Philippines
3 Aug 09
for me, it's only a venial sin... i don't care if my partner forgets our anniversary as long as i know that he forgot it because he has other important stuffs to do... i would feel bad but i don't think i would enjoy witnessing my partner suffer for a long time just because of one particular scenario... you're lucky that he made an effort... back when the time my ex forgot our anniversary, he was the one who felt bad when i was crying in front of him... he didn't made an effort for us to reconcile, instead, i made the first move
1 person likes this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
6 Aug 09
hehe....the "mortal sin" was only figurative. Almost like a hyperbole or exaggeration of soemthing. Of course it wasn't REALLy a mortal sin. It was highly forgivable. But in the end I was the one who apologized to him because I was very shallow for getting mad at something very small. Thanks for the response.
• India
3 Aug 09
I think sometimes people are in so much of stress that they forget their own birthdays.So its but obvious that he has forgotten ur anniversary.Anyways many many happy returns of the day.
1 person likes this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
6 Aug 09
yes he's been in so much stress....I guess I need to be really more understanding
@phobeea (52)
• Indonesia
4 Aug 09
In my case, "I" was the one who forgot our anniversary. My BF (Now my husband) set a wallpaper in my computer in the evening after he's back from work said "Happy 5th anniversary". Then what happened. Those words didn't even ring a bell. I even asked him "who's anniversary?? what anniversary??". He just smiled and went to bathroom. After 10 minutes thinking... then I remembered!! Gosh... I run to him right away and said that I'm really sorry I forgot about the anniversary. He forgave me and he laughed so hard to see my panicked face. It's not a big deal for us :) Maybe you should put this position to you. What if YOU are the one who forget the anniversary. Will your BF punish you for this?
1 person likes this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
8 Aug 09
Yes you are right. I would feel terrible if he wouldn't forgive me for an honest mistake. This is one of the reasons why I forgave him and patched things up with him. We are okay now. I hope I will be more mature in dealing with things.
• China
3 Aug 09
I sometimes also forget,be really should not.The man should not forget so important time.Maybe you can remind him in advance!
1 person likes this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
6 Aug 09
Maybe next time we should remind each other on special occasions to avoid the same problem.
• China
3 Aug 09
A women is born to be a pet.
1 person likes this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
6 Aug 09
Pet? I don't quite get what you mean. Sorry....
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
Hmmm.. I can see that it is really his work that made him forgot your anniversary. But at least he made an effort to make up for it. Yes, it's upsetting and disappointing to you that your bf forgot your anniversary, you should just forgive him and understand. This is what I can see. He is a workaholic person. His work is his most priority. He wanted to succeed in life. He wanted to have a better future. If you will think about it, it is also for you, for the both of you, for your future. Yes, he loves you. You are his inspiration. But work is just his priority. So don't take it too negative. Your love is still strong I can see. Take good care of it. And support each other. Happy myLotting!
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
7 Aug 09
Thanks for the BR mark Theresaaiza! I appreciate it.
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
14 Aug 09
Your comment was one of those that struck me the most. So thank you so much!And you're welcome. Sorry it took me a while to respond. So when I had the time I marked you as BR. Thanks again.
@cupid74 (11388)
• Pakistan
3 Aug 09
ha ha ha All i can Say "POOR HE"" Byeee
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
3 Aug 09
Hi cupid...oooh....I hope you could strike your arrow towards the butt of my BF...or towards me? My heart's cold as ice now.
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
3 Aug 09
Haha...at angel rain...jewel, you say? Right now I feel like a plastic cellophane!! :-D
• Philippines
3 Aug 09
YEAH!"POOR HE" coz he doesn't see the jewel that he has in his hand.
@jayman32 (267)
• Australia
4 Aug 09
hello,you have a strange idea on what a mortal sin is, but each to their own!!.. do you think you are being selfish as well as childish? if your bf works long & hard & he tried to make it up to you & you still want more, would blood be enough for you? i understand your feeling of loss or as you said "taken for granted", but do you also take your bf for granted? what did you have planned for your bf on your anniversary? or did you just expect your bf to give you attention & or gifts & not give bf in return. are you one of these people who take & dont give?, do you just think of your own selfish wants & needs before others?i'm not trying to be mean & upset you, its just their is more to life then wants in front of your face, if its affecting your love life then let it go. wants more important to you your bf, or want he forgets?
@jayman32 (267)
• Australia
22 Aug 09
good stuff, i'm glad to read that..
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
21 Aug 09
Yeah, I know, Ive been selfish, childish and a brat. But we are ok now.! hehehe
@modstar (9605)
• Philippines
3 Aug 09
That's easy. Just use your new laptop then chat away with some new guys then before you know it, you're in love. lol! Kidding aside, i guess you should put yourself in his position. What he was doing that time might be crucial especially when it's about work.
• Philippines
3 Aug 09
Yeah,meeting new guys will really heal a broken heart.But is work really that important that you will forget the very special day between the two of you?What if she will be the one to forget his birthday or any special day for him?Will he not be affected?I think some things are just over-looked just because they are busy with work or maybe just because they are busy.......I just don't get it.Feelings are hurt but no one is bothering to heal and understand the person hurting.I wish I can be a guy so I can understand what is going on in their minds!LOL!
1 person likes this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
3 Aug 09
Have we resurrected???!!! missed myLot! Anyway, yes, I understand him in that. His work is really sooooo complicated. That is why I told him I understood him. But then in the deepest core of my being (naks), I did feel so upset that eventually it surfaced which resulted to an LQ last night where I did a burst-out and now Im too proud to make amends.
@modstar (9605)
• Philippines
3 Aug 09
Making a buzz out of forgotten special event sometimes borders on being childish and being taken for granted. It depends on one's maturity on how he/she would act on it.
2 people like this
@iamsolucky (1241)
• Philippines
6 Aug 09
Hi and smile. yes women really go upset when we experienced situations like this. But i will really be honest that i forget too, i know i always mark the calendar for dates as a reminder. I also alarm my cellphone. I always prepare surprise videos and notes to my hubby when our anniversary comes. Happy mylotting and smile always!
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
21 Aug 09
I am smiling now. we are okay. We made up and said our sorries!
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
5 Aug 09
Your so very reactive, my friend. Why don't give him a chance and be very reasonable for your boyfriend. Investigate first what is really happen. Find out if he really busy on his work or not? If that is an alibi, confront him and give him a chance to give a clarified reason why he doing that to you. After he explain everything and you feel it is not enough that the way you make a decision to get over it. All of us committed a mistake and that mistake cannot be done again if we correct it, in a reasonable way. His mistake is not being a mortal sin, that prefer. How about you if you committed a mistake. You want all your mistakes calling it..."Mortal Sin". Not proper right? http://eCa.sh/avoidscam
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
21 Aug 09
LOL at reactive. Yeah, I know Ive been OA. But were ok now.
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
22 Aug 09
Hello friend, Am happy to know that your BF in you are okay now. I wish you always set aside any misunderstood to make your relationship as sweet as any other sweeter substance..lol. have a great day! if ever anything I can help to boost your relationship don't hesitate to ask advise i will do my best best my friend to help you. take care