Can Negativity Be Classed As An Illness?

@wolfie34 (26771)
United Kingdom
August 16, 2009 4:09pm CST
What makes a person negative? I am not talking about a few negative thoughts here and there, I am talking about a permanent state of negativity when everything is viewed as being negative. Is negativity just a part of depression or simply a lack of self esteem, is it a small part of a person's personality or do you think it's an integral part of an illness causing mental negativity on a permanent basis? Have you ever gone through a serious 'negative' period in your life and do you know what triggered it? How have you coped getting rid of negativity? Has it been an uphill struggle to rid yourself of uwanted negative thoughts? Do you think negativity is serious enough to be classified as being a mental illness? What to you is negativity? Do you think negativity can also be a 'safety blanket' and a 'comforter' to some because they have become so used to negativity in their life that they find it difficult to change?
4 people like this
23 responses
@derek_a (10874)
18 Aug 09
In my experience as a therapist, I would say that negativity is indicative of some deeper conditioning. As human beings we tend to pick up and emulate behaviour patterns presented to us as we are growing up. It may not only be our parents, but teachers, siblings and/or friends that we learn this behaviour from. Anyone we considered to be an authority, consciously or subconsciously. From working with clients I have found that many baby-boomers have been exposed to negativity of others who have just lived through the war years. In fact I have noticed that with myself (born just after the war) there are moods that I experience that my parents exhibited that I witnessed, and most of it was picked up subliminally. Knowing the mechanics through my therapeutic training and meditation is no defence, it just supplies me with information that supports me in handling it. I think most of us will go through (sometimes) prolonged negative phases in our life. Some call it the dark night of the soul. I see this as a process of personal development and therefore turning a bad situation into something positive. As a Zen practitioner, I practice zazen (Zen meditation/mindfulness) every day, and any issues picked up by my subconscious mind as a result of my past conditioning are resolved through this practice. To put it into a nutshell, zazen brings unconscious conditioning into consciousness for resolution – (this can be called my karma). I could also say that there is always some sort of pay-off for certain moods and conditions and if we can identify that pay-off, we can then, if we are willing (important), transcend that condition. We can say to ourselves, “I know what this is about, and I don’t have to obey it”. Enjoying being negative I believe, is like another layer – the sufferer enjoys the pay-off, and doesn’t want to lose it. It could be bringing him/her understanding or sympathy from others, getting them to do certain things, getting them to be certain ways etc. The problem is, that this subconscious behaviour pattern only gets stronger each time other respond to it and try to make the sufferer “better”. So in my opinion, negativity is there is all of us from time to time. It can be used as a learning tool, as a way of manipulating our environment, in order to get us to paradoxically be more comfortable. It is a process that the ego has learned, and the ego just wants attention whether or not it is comfort or discomfort that will bring that attention. - Derek
2 people like this
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
20 Aug 09
Derek this sounds like something I should've done transcending it and not obeying boredom Wolfie have you ever tried one day of meditation and no pills? I heard some medication no matter how good it is for, you're better off not taking
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
19 Aug 09
interesting. I tried Zazen once and it was boring. I always go with exercises that requires movements. Meditation, especially zazen is a total passiveness.
1 person likes this
@derek_a (10874)
19 Aug 09
Thank you for responding. - Zazen always brings to the surface of the mind that which we tend to want to avoid. This is so that we can transcend it. I know exactly what you mean about the boredom. I just experienced it fully in my zazen, it became almost painful. But then I transcended it, and now I have let go of boredom and never experience it now. I can sit and just be without my mind demanding that I "entertain" my ego.. - Derek
@GardenGerty (157049)
• United States
16 Aug 09
Lots of questions, there, Wolfie. I think some people are naturally negative, and some people, due to disappointments and lack of coping skills become negative. Some people are raised to be negative and have to learn new patterns to become positive. I think negativity is a spiritual condition as well as a mental condition. I have been in conditions where everything was negative for a long time, and those conditions were in fact depression. I never got treatment, but did find my way out, and for me it was a case of being right with God and letting Him help me. I can remember some very negative thoughts and behaviors, and they were also completely without reason, but it was where I was mentally, emotionally and spiritually at the time. I did not like myself much then either. It was in no way a comforter, but could have been a defense mechanism to keep from opening up to things that could change me, and could also hurt me.
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
16 Aug 09
Yes I do believe it can be a defense mechanism as well, which could be part of the way I am due to being in abusive relationships in the past, however I think looking back I have generally been negative throughout my life, but I can only put that down to bullying from a young age throughout. To me negativity is a comfort blanket which I cling to and being postive is scary and frightening to me believe it or not, I've tried and it's like jumping off a big cliff and I run back to my old negative self again where I feel I belong. I've read books, talked to therapists and still I return to my old negative self. I have thought along the lines of meditation to see if that helps me. I am willing to try anything to let the sunshine back into my life my friend
@polachicago (18716)
• United States
16 Aug 09
Permanent negativity can be part of mental illness usually part of major depression. It is probably caused by chemical imbalance of major neurotransmitters.... Many people think that person is negative by that person may need professional help.
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
16 Aug 09
Hello my dear friend, nice to see you, I hope you are well! Yes I put my negativity down to a chemical imbalance and depression, I get both therapy and I have plenty of exercise at the gym but I still find negativity a problem, mind you I've been negative for so long that it's become second nature and kind of a security blanket to me to cling to.
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
16 Aug 09
When I am at the gym I always take my ipod with me, I've tried to talk to people in the gym but they have given me the cold shoulder, so I feel safer shut off with music and happier. Thanks my friend xxx
@polachicago (18716)
• United States
16 Aug 09
there is not such thing as security blanket in negativity. In most cases depressed person has hard time to be positive. It takes emotional exercise to be positive and you may have hard tome to switch your mind. I am against exercise in the gym...for many reasons. I can only support outdoor activity for depressed people.... Gym crowd can create more problems than solutions. Walking, visiting harmony looking places is very rewarding, hanging with good friends can help... HUGS
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
16 Aug 09
hi wolfie I think negativity is partof depression. my table mate here spent a whole mealtime telling me all her problems, crying and complaining about everything,her health, her family, the food,the care takers, on and on, and the same thing everymeal.I listened sympathetically until my ears waNted to fall off. I sugested some remedies which she pooh poohed aNd went right on with the same agenda word for word.her family didnt come to see her the care takers preferred her roomate over her, on aNd on'until my head spun. call your kids, aSk them to see you,no no, talk to the administrator about x employee, oh no no. maybe she did use it as a safety blanket.she complained of horrible pain in the wounds on her legs, I said ask them to send you to the hospital, oh no no,but she got so sick that guess what they took her complaints and all to the hospital. now I no longer have to listen to that rote of complaints.I did feel sorry for her but I was helpless to help her aS she wou ldnt take advice from anyone.
@thea09 (18305)
• Greece
16 Aug 09
Hi wolfie, negativity can be one of two things I think. It could be a permanent thing in someones character, someone perhaps made bitter at a young age who then perceives everything in a negative way so that other people choose to avoid them. Or there is negativity which is symptom of depression, so the person can feel themselves being negative and other people around feel it too, but this is not a permanent condition, it will pass when the person comes out of a depressed state. People will notice it though in more ways than just behaviour, a person going through this will often times walk with their head down and have bad posture. It should be treated as part of the depression.
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
16 Aug 09
I think negativity also comes over in vibes given out by the person, people see negativity in others and learn to avoid them, that is what I find, my negativity seems to radiate, it's also about nvc (non-verbal communication) like you said about how you walk or hold yourself in public.
@thea09 (18305)
• Greece
16 Aug 09
Try to mix WHEN you are feeling positive, and walk tall and proud, it WILL make you feel better. I'm sure your friends will understand you but the other thing with negativity is you are not really making a real connection with any friends, and they'll feel that from you. Even if it's just going into a shop for something, walk tall and make yourself connect with the person serving you. It may be enough for one day but try to do it each day.
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
16 Aug 09
A few times I have reached out to someone and they've rejected me so I run back to my negative self where I feel most safest. I guess it's to do with my past I have been hurt too much and I judge everyone in the same boat as it were, I guess it's like transference or projection, so I play it safe and close down on people that way I am not open to abuse or rejection.
• United States
19 Aug 09
I belive negativity happens when the person really has other underlying issues that have not been resolved, when some have experienced one crisis after another, and they don't see their life getting any better. This can cause a world wind of jealousy with those who seem to have it made in their life. In order to feel better about themselves, they have to critique everyone and everything around them, in order to build themselves up. My son has this problem, because he has had to struggle since a young child. Because he is very angry at his life, he is always finding fault with everyone, hoping it would make him feel better, and finding fault with everything else, purely out of frustration. The ony way I can see that it getting better, is by talking to a therapist, but once a week is certainly not enough. There should be therapists out there who are willing to do their job as often as they have to to quickly heal another individual. Of course, there is also the situation where someone is born into a family where there is negativity all around...it can be a learned behavior as well, and until someone points it out that someone is very negative, a person can go on and never realize it.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
23 Aug 09
I really need to decide what I am going to do my friend, to investigate further the label I was given by the pyschiatrist and left to get on with it with no further support or explanation at the time, seek out antidepressants to address both my clinical depression and my chemical imbalance. As you said once a week therapy is not enough! I also wonder whether the abusive relationships both mental and physical attributed to the way I am. It's all a terrible mess and I just feel that I am in a big maze with no way out, no light at the end of tunnel. The heat doesn't help either so I feel everything is on top of me right now, but at least I've managed to stop the gambling, I just feel that I am trying to climb mount everest at the moment. I get frustrated because at the moment I don't see any way out. Hugs x
• United States
19 Aug 09
Wolfie...you do sound exactly like my son...My son was born with a learning dissability, and unfortunately they only discovered it when he was an 8th grade, when the Learning Disability teacher told me that the previous school had been teaching him wrong all those years. At that time they thought he was slow in comprehension. So the approach they used was the exact opposite of what they should have been doing...so needless to say his first 8 years of school was totally wasted. He strugged to keep going and graduate but never made it. At 12 yrs old they discovered he had ADD, and the medication they gave him was totally wrong for him, and he ended up a recluse and would only sleep. He was never the same after that. Before that age, he was a typical boy, with lots of friends. He now has Bipolar and a social anxiety, and compulsive disorder, and has no one but me in this world, and I, like you, have no idea how to fix it. He no sooner goes to a therapist, and then looses them months later, because the doctor no longer takes the insurance that he has. So he is constantly switching to find a doctor. He is on Prozac which does do him some good, because he doesn't worry so much with it. If he doesn't take it, he is constantly worrying about every part of his body, to the point of being a hypocondriac (Spelling?). However, it is clear that he is a very unhappy person, and I don't actually blame him. I've tried all different ways to help him think differently, however, the bottom line is that I am his Mother, and who listens to the parent. Mental illness is got to be the worse illness to experience, because noboy really knows how to fix it, and so many people misjudge the person who has it...only because they look perfectly normal. And what really angers me is the fact that a therapists will only see you one day a week. Why would they think that one day a week would heal someone who has been feeling this way all their life. It's going to take years to heal, if they only do this one day a week. I almost feel that committing oneself into a hospital where the doctor seems them every day would be a big help. But I don't even know if there is such a place. I feel for you, like I feel for my son...I wish I could take it all away...
@nannacroc (4049)
16 Aug 09
This is a very difficult question to answer. Yes it is due to low self esteem, as a teenager I rarely thought of anything positively, I was lucky enough to meet Mr Croc and he helped me gain a ot of confidence. It's also part of depression because if Mr Croc is having a bad bout he cannot see anything positive about anything. Mr Croc now copes by going to his computer and playing games. Being negative can also be a sort of 'safety blanket' as you don't push yourself to do anything because you already 'know' there will be a bad outcome. Start by realising you are a good person, try to list positive things about yourself. That's not easy for anyone, we can all list loads of negative things about ourselves but find it hard to list ten positives. You're counseelor has probably told you all of this but so have I now. Remember you are a lovely person and far too sensitive for your own good. Take care.
@nannacroc (4049)
16 Aug 09
You don't need to 'toughen up' just believe in yourself. I have the same problem, all my emotions show in my face. I rarely let people get close to me, there again, I like my own company. I get accused of snobbery and all sorts because I don't have the neighbours in but I've had too many false friendships and prefer the company of my family, even that only includes my husband, daughters and grandsons, I can't even be doing with my brother and sisters. It's true that being negative is easier and the experiences you have had haven't helped you. Try to believe in yourself, you come over as a really nice person on here. Take care.
@Celanith (2327)
• United States
17 Aug 09
If someone is always negative I would tend to believe they do have some sort of mental illness and depression. They need to get some help and find the underlying causes.
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
17 Aug 09
Agreed, help through counseling or through antidepressants, thank you.
@sugarlen (138)
• Philippines
12 Sep 09
It is how we intend to overcome our negative feelings that matters. Negative feelings will not bring you anywhere except down. It may be an illness but illness can be cured same as negativism.
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
17 Aug 09
Hi wolfie, I believe that it can be very difficult to change because strange as it may seem, some of the most negative people don't see the negativity in themselves. Some others use it to try to get sympathy, such as talking about an illness but never wanting to hear about a cure. Still others, as you mention use it as a safety blanket. There was a time when I found myself slipping into a negative attitude, but realized what was happening before it became a habit. Now I always try to think positive. I think too that some people have gotten themselves in such a state that it could be classified as mental illness. Blessings.
@guybrush (4658)
• Australia
16 Aug 09
This is a hard one, Wolfie. I've always been called negative - but in actual fact I consider myself a realist. I'm definitely a glass-half-empty person, and it's been a huge hindrance to my life because whenever there are any opportunities I tend to make mental scenarios of everything that could go wrong, and end up talking myself out of doing anything because in the end it seems too much trouble or too risky. My husband and children are the exact opposite, however - and it's been really encouraging for me to see them tackling things I never would have done myself. My third daughter gets an idea into her head and then executes it - she worries about problems when they crop up and then deals with them - and because of this she's done so many interesting things. In the last few years I've tried very hard to be more positive, and I think I'm succeeding. When I feel myself about to say something negative, I bite my tongue and don't open my mouth. I don't think it's a mental illness as such, but I know it brings a downer to other people and makes them feel negative too. When I manage to stop myself saying something negative I feel really pleased with myself - that's got to be a good thing! I also believe negativity draws bad luck to you - so it's worth trying hard to view things in a happier light. It IS difficult to change after a lifetime of seeing things in a negative way, but it's definitely worth a try. (I blame the fact I'm a Virgo for being critical and negative - but it's no excuse!) Also, I think a lot of negativity stems from us not wanting to be disappointed. We probably think if we don't expect success, or nice things to happen, we won't be upset when it turns out to be crappy (just as we always expected) - so, it's a bit of a security blanket, certainly.
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
17 Aug 09
I think the negativity for me stems from the fact that I've been bullied for most of my life and I have been in two very abusive relationships so I see the world as a very negative place to be in. It doesn't help the fact that I possibly have a chemical imbalance which means that I might have to give in and accept antidepressants which I've been adamant for so long NOT to take, I don't believe in them, I've tried quite a few in the past and they've all given me terrible side affects, but what do I do. The gym is helping but not addressing the problem, are antidepressants just temporary and what happens when I come off them? back to square one again. But can being negative be a good thing in that I am not disappointed, I find negativity protects me it also makes me withdrawn and aloof and I walk around most of the time with a face like thunder so no one wants to get close to me, which is how I like it. I have also tried to be positive but it's a very scary place to be you leave yourself vulnerable to people and that is where I have gone so wrong in the past. Call it transference in a way I see everyone as potential bullies and abusers so the shutters come down pretty quickly, negativity is my defence and no one gets in but that also keeps me locked in too, a double edged sword if you like.
@guybrush (4658)
• Australia
18 Aug 09
I hate being vulnerable too, Wolfie - that's why I never ask for favours, and only rely on myself (and my husband) if I want something done. Bullies must never be allowed to win, though - we must stand strong against them, because generally they are cowards, and when you confront them they buckle.
@kellyjeanne (1576)
• United States
19 Aug 09
I grew up being negative because that's what my parents taught me. It wasn't until years later after leaving home did I finally drop it and become more positive. I believe in my heart that I'm a naturally positive person, but, because of my upbringing I learned to be negative. I'm so glad I managed to break free of that. It wasn't something that I struggled to break free of. It felt as if slowly, but, surely, I was shedding the negative skin (like a snake) that my parents had clothed me in all those years. I do believe that negativity can be a horrible illness and sickness and I feel sorry for people who are naturally negative or maybe it's not that anybody is naturally negative. Maybe, like me, something or someone, at an early age, caused that kind of negative thinking. It can take years to shed and I'm so glad I finally did. Purrs, Catwoman=^..^= & Mija
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
23 Aug 09
I am negative mainly due to a chemical imbalance, being bullied and physical and mental abuse from my ex partners and clinical depression on top, it's like I am carrying the world on my shoulders. Sometimes I see no light at the end of the tunnel which makes me even more frustrated, and frustration just feeds on negativity and vice versa.
• United States
30 Aug 09
Yes, believe me. I understand completely. It's just so hard to get out of that rut. I know you don't see it now, but, someday things will happen for you. Not overnight, but, little by little that you don't even notice it. Gold Bless you! Purrs, Catwoman=^..^= & Mija
• United Kingdom
4 Sep 09
I'm thinking seriously about this one and I think yes, Negativity should be classed as an illness. I have focused on negative thoughts for most of my life and it hasn't done me any good, it hasn't helped in my progress with moving forward. Now I'm starting to focus on more positive thinking and I'm starting to notice a difference. Because I experienced negative thoughts I would look at everything in life in a negative light. I had very low self-esteem and I felt very very small! I still find things very difficult and I do have a comfort zone which I tend to remain permanently in, I guess this is a form of negativity but it works for me. I find it very difficult to change my ways and it's very uncomfortable too. When I look at my life though I think to myself, it's not the end of the world! Andrew
@Jathop3 (42)
• United States
22 Aug 09
I think the enviroment that you grew up in have big influence on your negativity scale. One of my friend grew up with people around her telling bad things about her, especially during high school. That makes her become one of the most negative people I've ever meet. She always seems to assumpt the worst posible situation. We try to help her with that, slowly building her self confidence. It got a bit better after a year, but then she fell for a guy who doesn't share the same feeling for her, then she had relapse. I hope she'll get better otherwise it'll affect her life terribly. I've had my episodes with negative thoughts as well, including voices that tells me nobody wants me and I should just die, that this world would be better off without me. Well, SCREW THAT! Often I have to reminded myself, negative thoughts comes when you are in a bad mood. so sometimes it's a mind trick, really.
@Margajoe (4709)
• Germany
17 Aug 09
So many questions! Negativity is like the flu. It can even be contagious, in my experience. My parents are and have always been very negative. This is caused by being young with the war, seeing things children should not have to see. I have experienced negativity too. I have tried to stay positive in life, but there are times that I just cannot. Mostly when everything is going wrong and there is not food in the fridge. Negativity is influenced by the people we hang around with too. When you hang a round with positive minded people, you become more positive too. That is why I would say it is a disease. Like the flu. Mostly people who are negative lack trust. They don't trust that things can be positive.
@bryanski (497)
• Philippines
17 Aug 09
Negativity is really a vague idea. For me negativity is simple: pessimism. Where do this arise? There are a lot of reasons and the top being emotional stress and traumatic experience. It is always good to keep in mind the history of the person with negative feelings. It may have to do with his upbringing or a past event that lead to his emotional fatigue. Negativity is not permanent, I say. It is easy to cure but is delicate too. A careful understanding of the situation may well prove to be the best way to help a negative thinker out of the dark path. The solution may be the person himself or the people close to his heart. Let us not put a period on a person. A negative man can be happy and can do greater things than even ordinary people can do. They just need support to get them out of the negative feeling. Negativity can be sometimes thought of as a safety blanket but the protection it gives from emotional harm is short lived. The real safety blanket is happiness. A happy person cannot go negative.
@Tallygirl09 (1380)
• United States
17 Aug 09
Wolfie, Interesting topic. I have come across in my life, folks that I have come to label as toxic. What I mean by that is that they choose to be negative all the time and they suck the energy right out of everyone around them. Ask them how their weekend was and they have a list of complaints.. Most folks will tell you it was good or might say that they went to a movie or did something else fun. But negativity is a choice in my humble opinion. I worked with one woman for over 5 years and she was negative in all her thoughts and comments. did her job very well but didn't have any friends at work. No wonder tho. Sad, because I don't think anyone ever came out and told her why. When I first joined the company, she was friendly and I went to lunch with her 2x. And that was enough for me. Everyone has good and bad days, but some folks just focus on what is bad. Not sure if it's part of depression or just a personality flaw. We are all imperfect but it's sad to see a person who chooses to continue a way of interacting with others that makes no one want to be around them for long. Since I worked with her for so many years, I got to meet her sister and they were both the same. If you said anything positive about anything, they countered it with something horrible. I was much younger then and didn't even think to try to help her see why "she just didn't fit in with her co-workers". Looking back, I wish that I'd been able to do something to help her but I have no idea what that would have been. To me, negativity breeds negativity and there are some that seem to be more comfortable with that, then trying to make the changes necessary to improve themselves and their lives. If one doesn't try then one doesn't have to go thru the failures and keep going to reach a goal. Some folks don't continue to grow as they progress in this life. We are only here for a short time, so why not try and make it the best experience possible for yourself and all those around you?
• China
17 Aug 09
Hi, wolfie! Negative thinking seems to be a gene of my mother's family. As far as I was born, a bad cold caught me and my grandma did not believe I could survive. During my childhood, I was used to helping my grandma's mother to clean up her belongings because she was sure God would take her to the heaven in the near future. My mother is a wonderful woman, but she usually discourages me according to her worst perspective, especially at some most important time for me. You can imagine how negative could I be when I was a teenager. However, things have been found not so bad. Till three years ago, my mother's grandma is always singing at her birthday party before she was finally extricated at the age of 95. My grandma is glad to meet greetings from a healthy young man now. And my mother has long been enjoying her son's successes. See, negativity may never be classed as an illness in my family. It bases on our DNAs. If you have some relatives like I and find it really difficult to get rid of unwanted thoughts, you may try two efficient methods I have used. First, turn over your family album. Mine covered a half century history. When reflecting on their life choices in some typical situations and the following results, you may take yours easily. Second, take in enough fresh air. Our brains possess half air we breath. So the more you get in, the more your brain may use, and the more likely could chemical balance be built up. To say practically, seldom enter I into the gym. Instead, I sing outside in the nature. Singing is my grandma's mother's secret weapon and is inherited by me:) When singing an amusing song, bad thoughts flee away, fresh air around you sway and at last your world is no longer grey. Try and good luck!
@mtvmtv (600)
• India
17 Aug 09
There may be many reasons for negativity.One of the most common is a deep depression and in this state of mind,a person would not trust any body easily.He/she will feel inferior and will consider only a dark side of the matter.Broadly,we can't classify them as a patient in normal cases.There are basically three types of persons.1,Extrovert,2,introvert and 3,ambivert.
@kitty42 (3923)
• United States
17 Aug 09
I use to get depressed and I would think negative thoughts like no one loves me, etc etc, I feel it can be a mental illness if you are negative all the time, you will eventually make yourself sick, when we think negative, negative things happen in our life, I know someone that always complain of some illness I told her she will eventually make herself sick, she did, this negative person needs to talk to someone something is not right, they need help, thinking negative all the time is scary. There is no way negativity can be comfortable, thats a lot of weight to carry, whenever I think negative something bad happens, like I may have a dispute with my daughter or other family member, I would like to know what is going on in this persons life that they are negative 24 hours a day, what kind of person is this? do they have good relationships with other people, do they have someone to talk with on a daily basis, do they even get along well with others, I can't see things going well for a person that is negative all the time. Let me apologize to you before I continue I have been up all night, I am so tired right now my glasses don't work, so if my post come out a little discombobulated that is because that is exactly how I feel right now, so please forgive me, I will proof-read but I know there is a chance I may miss something, you know what I will end this discussion and continue when I wake up, this is a great post, and I would really like to give you some useful feedback.