A teenager got pregnant by choice

@maximax8 (29543)
United Kingdom
August 25, 2009 4:25am CST
I watched a program yesterday evening about an pregnant teenager. She had wanted to become a mom from the age of eight. She wasn't easily palmed off with a plastic doll. When she was sixteen she got together with her boyfriend. She asked him if he wanted to be a dad and he had said yes. At seventeen years old she gave birth to a baby boy and then she felt her dream had been achieved. Do you think she should have waited until an older age to try to get pregnant? What do you think about her choice? Is she likely to miss out on anything?
3 people like this
21 responses
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
25 Aug 09
thats a very rare case. i never heard of any teenager wanting to be a mother at once. she may not know it but i am sure she will miss being a child especially when she starts taking care of her child and if the latter gets sick and they have no money.. well, i hope am mistaken. ann
1 person likes this
@Fracker (177)
• Pakistan
25 Aug 09
well, in my country i have seen many teenager married girl got pregnant and got a child. And he lived as well.. But in my country their is whole family to support her. So their was no problem for her as well. Any how, such things are getting vanish fast. Now a days, it is very rare to see such thing
@maximax8 (29543)
• United Kingdom
26 Aug 09
Hi Ann. I used to think all pregnant teenagers had done so without intending to. My cousin got married at 18 years old and had two sons. They are now grown up and she moved to Australia.
@maximax8 (29543)
• United Kingdom
26 Aug 09
Hi Fracker. Yes, her family took her to a car boot sale where she bought all the things she needed for her baby.
25 Aug 09
Hi max, OMG!!!! she wants and she gets, her m other should have done something about her daughter, what is it with kids, is it a lovelly councilo house with with all mode cons, don't have to work and the given everything she wants? while people like us has to work and pay for everything as we own our on home and don't get any help whatso ever, but these people don't have to pay for anything, they shoulde be made to look after their own child with the help of her and his parents, the goverment should not give them anything. Too easy to have kids that young because they want one. Just makes me feel angry,
@maximax8 (29543)
• United Kingdom
26 Aug 09
Hi there Tamara. Yes, her mum and dad, her and her baby boy live in a council house. Her boyfriend lives in a council flat. Her sister and her baby girl live in a council flat. I wouldn't like to live in a property owned by the council. My house is small but I paid for it with my own cash. I really should get a mortgage and move to a bungalow now.
• India
25 Aug 09
Hello, In my idea the girl's decision to have a baby before she is fully aware of her responsibilities was foolish. She might have done due to some fancy ideas. In our country India,girls live with their parents till marriage. Thoguh dating has become the order of the day getting pregnant with a boy is a taboo socially. By deciding to have a baby I think she missed a lot. Before becoming an adult she chose to become a mother Happy mylotting
1 person likes this
@maximax8 (29543)
• United Kingdom
26 Aug 09
Hi there. The girl was living with her parents and began dating the 17 year old when she was 14 years old. He wasn't allowed to stay the night in her parents house. So they had tried to conceive their baby at the beach and in a field after dark. It took her 18 months to get pregnant. I would love to visit India one day.
@wolfie34 (26791)
• United Kingdom
25 Aug 09
Sadly my friend this is happening up and down the country! It's now become the norm for kids, I call them kids because they haven't really had a proper life of their own start having children when they are but children themselves! It is sad this is happening, they have no chance to explore the world to gain experience and I feel they miss up on so much, it's not a temporary commitment, we are talking 16 years plus! I know everyone has a choice and it's not for others to dictate but I do feel this teenager and many others are missing out on so much, why get tied down so early? Do they really have no other ambitions, goals, things they want to do? Having children is a heavy commitment and I don't think some of them really know what they are letting themselves in for!
@maximax8 (29543)
• United Kingdom
26 Aug 09
At my Maths evening class I met some teenage mums that were having a challenging time completing their education. It is so very enjoyable to go traveling and I am glad that I traveled around the world when I was single and without children. To be a teenager and to be pregnant is not an easy journey for some my friend Wolfie. Thanks for your wonderful response.
@Fracker (177)
• Pakistan
25 Aug 09
Well, its her choice.. and we can only say, best of luck with her decision. I don't think we can dictate anyone. Main problem is the Law. If children remain close to the parents, then they might get attract towards their child hood. But law has put so much restrictions on parents, that, when a kid reaches 15, he just leave his parents and try to think that now he is big enough. And this could also encourage someone to take such action.
1 person likes this
@maximax8 (29543)
• United Kingdom
26 Aug 09
I also hope that all works out for the teenage mom. I am pleased that she is close to her boyfriend and that he loves their baby boy. She has an older sister that has a baby girl and she lives in an apartment. She might be a positive influence on her.
@srpkinja (375)
• Canada
25 Aug 09
That's ridiculous. I think she should have waited. I mean, whether you get pregnant now or in 5-10 years, nothing much will change. If she did wait, she most likely would have been more cultured, responsible and well off money wise. Clearly, she is not responsible if she wants to have a child at 17. What makes me the most upset is that she could have gotten an education. She could have been successful, made money, learned a thing or two about being a mother. Even fell in love with a man, and not rush into it with your boyfriend. That's so sad and now she will never have a second chance to give her baby a better life and everything will just be harder. Too bad she didn't think about it.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32256)
• United States
25 Aug 09
There are alot of other women in history who have gotten pregnant at a young age. I can't name anyone but I am thinking back to when a wife was made with dowry to a man, most of the time it was of high rank, so I am assuming it was in royalty that this happened most... In any case, those are some examples of people who have gotten pregnant early in life. My grandmother was married at 16 I believe, and while I don't know the exact age she was when she had her first son, I think she was young, maybe not as young as this girl. On the other hand, my mother was a mother at the age of 13 to my late brother.
1 person likes this
@kitty42 (3924)
• United States
25 Aug 09
Hi maximax8 yes I think she should have waited, in time she will wish she had, I don't know what it is with these young kids they actually think having babies is the "in" thing to do, in time they will see unfortunately for these kids they will pay for these teens mistake.
@maximax8 (29543)
• United Kingdom
26 Aug 09
Sadly the girl got bullied at school and she said she had never been one of the popular ones. All she wanted was a baby but it was a shame she didn't get a good education before having her baby boy.
@kitty42 (3924)
• United States
26 Aug 09
Hello maximax8 Well lets hope she will find a way to continue her education, it can be done , maybe she will have someone in here life to help her out also point her in the right direction
@judy1988 (117)
• China
26 Aug 09
17 years old is too young to have a baby,it`s abnormal,I dont know why she had a dream like that,and her parents must be very disappoint . for me,I dont want to have a baby until 30,once I have a child,there will be a lot of things to do.
• United States
28 Aug 09
I do not agree with it but I do not feel that it is abnormal, she has probably been capable of repoducing for 6 or 7 years. People used to have children younger.
@williamjisir (22900)
• China
15 Sep 09
Hello maximax. I think that this teen girl should wait for a few more years to get pregnant for a child of her own. You know, it is still time for her to study at school for knowledge. With a child, it will distract her concentration on her study. What's more, she is not financially capable of supporting a child of her own since she is still student. Pregnancy can wait, but the best time for study cannot wait. Once gone, it is gone. You know, the best time of one's life for study is in the teens and early twenties. This is something she will miss out for sure. But anyway, let's bless her and her baby since she has already got one child, as is expected.
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
31 Aug 09
This sounds like a very determined young lady, max, and I doubt she will think she has missed out on anything. Maybe her boyfriend will regret this decision, but truthfully, I wish them happiness.
• United States
28 Aug 09
While I do not agree with the choice, at least she waited so that she would be 17 to have a child. There are plenty of 13 year olds with children. She also asked her boyfriend if he wanted to be a dad, so many boys will have s ex without thought to the consequences. They both knew what they were doing and why. It is my hope that they both have been responsible and the baby has insurance and they both completed school.
@beaushell (339)
• Philippines
26 Aug 09
That is interesting. I guess everybody is entitled to her own dreams. Although, I believe that proper guidance is much needed even in reaching a dream. I wonder if this teenage girl has received proper counseling before she was able to venture on this parent life she choose. I wonder if someone was able to discuss to her the pros and cons of being a mom at a very young age.I wonder if someone told her of her limitations and incapability being young to take care of a real babe. I wonder if after all this discussion, will she still choose to have the baby at that young age. I can only wonder I guess.
@angelajoy (1838)
• Philippines
26 Aug 09
She was right in going for her dream, but I think it was unwise to get pregnant at such an early age because then it would be really hard for her to finish her education. With the current economic crisis that the world is facing, being competent is more important than ever. I've heard that new graduates are having a hard time looking for work, and I'm pretty sure that those who did not graduate would find it more difficult to find work that would adequately sustain them.
• Philippines
26 Aug 09
She might not see the difficulties yet as a child but i think she will stand up for her choice. Maybe she didn't have anything to work on like a job or school. These dreams are often rampant on teenagers who doesn't have enough self-esteem or no experience on schooling. We also have a TV program here in the Philippines about an innocent girl called "Nene" *small girl in English*. She was dreaming that one day her childhood friend will come home from the City to Province and fulfill their childhood promises *to marry each other*. The guy was broken hearted with a girl friend from the City so he took advantage of the fact that Nene was crazy in love with him. Nene is only 14 years old while the guy is 17. They nade love and she got pregnant with a young age. I guess this programs are shown to make us realize our actions.
@prinzcy (5037)
• Malaysia
26 Aug 09
I wonder if she realized the responsibility she bears when she has a child? There's more than having a baby and it doesn't end there. Once a parent, you hold the task to guide your child for life (even after you said you let them go) But since I don't know her, she might have prepared for this. She might even have thought on how to support the child, who know. When I was seventeen, all I think about was passed my examination with flying colors, which I did. I never thought of becoming a parent at that age, though I did fall in and out of love. Seventeen is an age to enjoy life and the fun of being young. Being a parent is too big to handle at that time.
• India
26 Aug 09
We cant say that she is wrong, but she might have waited for a year. If she could manage being mon at this age then its ok!
@dreamr802 (986)
• United States
25 Aug 09
I can understand about wanting to be a mom, I really want to be a mom but I didn't really get that urge till I was 20 (I'm now 24) but also I've been in a serious relationship for the past 4 years. I think that she should've waited, she's not going to have a normal college experience or anything like that. If she was that desperate to have a family at least wait until you are out of high school and legally of age. I wonder if the father and her are going to get married? Maybe it will work out for her, but I do think she should've waited.
• United States
25 Aug 09
I am shocked! Not by the fact that this 17 year old had a child, but more over because i was expecting your post to be about someone even younger....which i suppose in it's own right is sad, as it means it is not shocking or unusual for a 17 year old girl to have a child. I still think this is too young though, but infortunately there isn't any way to prevent it, short of locking her in her room and never allowing her contact with boys until she is much older. I don't know if she will ever admit that she wishes she would have waited, but i am sure there will be times in her mind where she will think as much. I mean, really, is she in a place in her life at 17 where she can fully support and raise a child? Or is she relying on her parents for support? It will be very difficult for her to get higher education and be able to be financially responsible for her and her child, since che went and did it so young. It's one thing if it is an accident, and you have to make the best of it, but to purposfully add this stress and complication to your life before you have even had a chance to begin to live it? I think this is just silly. It makes me think once again, that i wish there were a way to prevent people from having children until they can prove that they are ready, unfortunately this all gets to "big brothery" for me and impedes on too many rights we should ahve as human beings, but it would still solve a lot of problems in the world.
• United States
25 Aug 09
I do think she should of waited. Having a baby is an amazing thing, but I really do believe she should of waited. Many teenagers want to become a mother at such a young age, but it is not gonna be a fun experience in the beginning. My cousin had her child when she was 17 yrs old, and she had a very hard time up until now. My friend is pregnant now and she is 20 yrs old. She is not very happy about the pregnancy. Only because she is so young and she is still in college. Teenagers have so many things to do while they are young, such as: prom, graduation, grad night, college, and so many more. You know if getting pregnant was not on purpose you know there is not to much you can say to the girl, but on the other hand if she is wanting to get pregnant since she was eight there is a problem.