At What Stage In Your Life Have You Given Up On Love?

I have been through that same experience just like you, i agree with you on that absolutely. But i have never given up on love yet. I do not look for it but if it finds me then, maybe i would ty my luck again. I do not want to grow old alone so i hope i still find someone to grow old with. I wish that you'll have a change of heart in your view about love, my friend, young as you are. I wish the best for both of us.

I have been thru a lot in love also. I have been in 2 bad marriages...one cheated & the other abusive. I was in a long term relationship with a man that was controlling and abusive to one of my children. I did not give up on love but I have changed my perception of it. I no longer expect love to last forever. People change, circumstances change. When I date a man, I of course hope that it will last forever but I don't expect it or take it for granted. I enjoy our time together for as long as it lasts. Ya...there are scars or maybe just lessons learned. I will not ever live with or marry a guy again. If things don't work out....I always end up starting over from the bottom. I'm tired of that. I prefer to keep my own place and take care of my own finances. So ya..I've been affected by bad times but I still don't give up on love. We all need love in our lives. There was a poet (sorry...can't recall the name...Rod something) that wrote something like 3 months of love is worth the lifetime spent looking for it. So true.

I don't know that I ever "gave up on love" but for 11 years after my divorce, I was EXTREMELY happy. I did what I wanted to, without any bruises (mental or physical) to show for it. I was very vocal about never getting married again and I was so not looking for "Mr. Right". I was actually a pretty good "man" in the relationship because I didn't want to get involved, I just wanted to have a good time. If things started getting "serious" in a relationship, I'd break it off. Then this guy kinda threw a wrench into my whole "being single for the rest of my life" plan. I don't know what happened, but I knew I just couldn't live without him. We've known each other for about 5 1/2 years, and been very happily married for over 4 of those years. One of my friends actually fell off a bar stool when I told her I was getting married again. My dearest and closest friend told me to call her back when I was sober when I made my announcement of our plans to marry. I'm sure there are quite a few people out there that lost quite a bit of money on their bets about this marriage. It's like this - you may not want it, you may not think you deserve it, and it may not happen, but if "love" does find you again, TAKE IT!

I've always been attracted to or attracted guys who are so wrong for me. They have been basically losers or weak people with problems and baggage that they don't deal with. They subsequently became my baggage. I do believe in love and that people treat each other properly so they are each able to grow and be healthy mentally, physically and spiritually. I think it's too late for me now because I could not tolerate having someone living here with me and I would be uncomfortable leaving here to go live with someone. If we could both start fresh in a new place....maybe but he would have to be strong and capable, responsible, romantic and know how to treat a woman with respect.

When I was VERY YOUNG (pre-teen) I decided then and there that I didn't want to get married or have kids. Now I'm 51 and I do not regret that decision. For me it was the best decision I could ever had made. I'm very happy being single because I can come and go as I please and don't have to put up with the bullcrap that goes with having another person in my life. I'm a loner and I like it that way. I have a few friends, which is how I like it. Purrs, Catwoman=^..^= & Mija

Hi wolfie34 As you know due to a recent discussion of mine, I haven't given up entirely on love. Even though I have joined this dating site I still wouldn't say I am actively seeking someone. Yes I have a profile on there and I contacted a few guys when I started on there but have left it as it is for now. Most of the guys didn't get back to me and I think I told you about the two that did!! My friend just tonight asked me if I wanted to take her place on a date with a guy that is taking her to a gig but she really doesn't want to go because it is not her taste in music but it is mine. I declined. I am a tad bit pre-occupied at the moment and can't be dealing with some guy I have never seen let alone ever spoken to!!

Hey there, I think you are a good guy and endow with talents! If you are in China, anyway, lots of people will love people your type! Each short discussion of yours are colourful. Some are touching, some are thought-provoking and some are profond! So, I am sure lots of people get attracted to it! At this point, you should be proud of yourself with the gift! Well, to be honest, I am sort of an intersting person here! So, in my life, lots of people have loved me to a certain extent though some of them just suck! haha Years ago, my last B*** went to California further his study! At the same time, I failed to get the offer of UC, Berkeley! As a resutl, I had been worked hard for a long time so that I could go there being together with him though my parents tried to talk me out of it a million times! And they force me to meet some other guys...but I said no! Day after day, they talked my ear off, I couldn't stand it and sort of met some other guys, none of whom is any better than him! That was the reasonn that I would like to work harder and harder...so that I could...go to California! Without Berkeley's offer...I couldn't jut stay at home at the time...So, I went to another graduate school, which wasn't so bad either... As days go by, I sort of dated other guys, mostly for my parents' sake! Lots of people pop out in my life...but lots of them are hard for me to bear if we spend the whole life together...They are all disgusting at some point in my opinion...lol. Hmmm, so, I guess I should go to find him still I like polite, kind and gifted people! haha, but ... I am about to go to another town to study something...and a guy (sort of my current...b***) will see me off... I guess I will dump him sooner or later,haha. You know what, he is not a good person...So far, only the guy in California is a right person in my life. I think you are my friend. So, I tell you lots of real stuff... haha, don't tell! I gotta go! I will be gone for about a week. I will read your discussions when I come back...bye bye!

i have given up on love at this stage of my life. after 18 years of marriage and the last 9 years not being good at all, i have no interest or desire to have a relationship with any man ever again. once my son is grown and on his own i do not plan on staying married. my husband and i are together for my son's sake so he has a stable home. we do not fight and argue much at all and we provide him with everything he needs so that he has a happy childhood. i gave 100% of myself in this marriage and my husband gave about 30% so i am really done. i can struggle on my own without all the baggage he brings to the relationship. if there was true love and caring on his side i would struggle along side him forever but i do not need all the heartache.

hi wolfie , culture makes us different , being brought up with eastern values especially the "indian blood" makes it different .. here we live not only for ourselves but for our families as well as our neighbours too .. i met my husband at 21, he was my first love, and i vowed only to marry him or otherwise none at all .. remember this song !Ready Or Not by After 7 I'll give you the sun The Rain The Moon The Stars and The Mountains I'll give you the world And all that you wish for And even more Girl I'll love you more than you could know And that's for sure I'd climb the highest hill Cross the widest sea Nothin could discourage me And I pray that you will be Always there for me Forever more [Chorus] Ready or not I'll give you everything And more All that I've got--it's yours I'll give you everything All that you're looking for [Verse 2] I'll give you my heart My soul My time My love is a fountain I will be your earth And all that you need for And even more Cause girl I love you more than words can show My love is pure I'll walk a thousand miles Sail a thousand seas Nothin will discourage me And I pray that you will be Always there for me Forever more [Chorus] Ready or not I'll give you everything And more All that I've got--it's yours I'll give you everything All that you're looking for [Verse 3] Everything's not anything If you're not here to share my dreams You don't know what it means to me If you'll accept my love Ooo I dedicate my love, my soul, my heart beats for you I can't get enough, can't wait for your love, There's nothing that I'd rather do. [Chorus] Ready or not I'll give you everything And more All that I've got--it's yours I'll give you everything All that you're looking for that is how i do it, to ensure the relationship goes on .. i never gave up n never will, there r some good things about my husband that can still make us go on // we have been lovers for 14 years and married for 3 year

Why should you give up on love just because someone has treated you badly.They have won if that happens,you deserve love as much as anyone else does.We all need a soul mate,and someone to love us for who we are.My husband is a far cry from the man I married the first time around.He is kind considerate,loving,a marvellous father and step father ,step grandad,all in all a wonderful man.He still drives me around the bend sometimes with his fussing.No ones perfect ,he is almost and I am very lucky,after the abusive first time around.Keep looking a near perfect partner is out there.

I have 3 more months to go before I give up on love.I made a pact that if I don't meet the One this year,I will stay single for the rest of my life.I am sick of being taken for granted and not appreciated.usually the guys I like don't like me because I am not a pretty girl.sometimes,when I like a guy,he can't move on because he still loves his ex and thinks I am no better than his ex.I am sick of dealing with it already.if anyone wants to start a singles-rule-forever group,invite me.

I do understand where you are coming from about the staying single thing as that way you wont get hurt neither can you upset or hurt anyone else.As for alot of people it is not all that easy to walk away from a relationship as sometimes there is no where to go and if you have children then it is a lot harder.I am married and have been for 13 years and there has been no loving feeling in it for a long time now and i have 6 children,the house is in his name and he has said that if i get him kicked out then he will not be able to pay for the mortgage.

Hi wolfie, 38 is much too young to give up! Actually, we condition our minds as per society norms, dont we? We need not suffer them! If we are into abusive relationship, we just have to walk out. The scars wont be that deep. It looks like u went thru a lot. Love is always there. Just dont expect it in binding form. That sets u up for disappointment, and all those negative emotions. In fact, if u dont expect it to be binding, may be u will get a binding relationship. Odd isn't it. Well, for ur benefit, I experienced the emotions or love as u would like to call it as late as 45. So there is a lot of hope for u. :) Cheer up.

I have some of the same views as you. After being in 2 bad relationships (one which was abusive) I tended to not believe in love again until I met this man who treats me pretty good. Atleast for the most part. He isn't abusive or anything like that. He can at times be possessive though which does bother me a bit. Something inside me told me to let go of all of my hangups and give him a chance. I did jut that. I let the wall down and now he has gotten into my heart which I am questioning now, as I made the mistake of letting him know that I had fallen in love with him only to have him tell me that he wasn't in love with me and didn't know that he would ever be. I finally after many months made a decision to let him know that after everything I have done for him and his children and all of the hurt that I have endured due to his son, that I had made a mistake in telling him that I had fallen in love with him as I feel that once I did that he began to take me for granted knowing that I loved him he could have anything he wanted from me and not have to show me any appreciation or heart back. I told him that I would never let those words slip from my tongue again. I think I threw him for a loop as he stood there and said "Never?" And I said that I doubted it and that the longer this relationship continued and there was not a sign that he was falling in love with me that the chances of my love diminishing were strong. He just stood there stunned and I told him that after a while of loving someone and there not being any love given back then the ones loving tend to pull away. But that wouldn't mean I didn't want to be with him anymore it would just mean that I wasn't in love with him anymore and that if at that time he had fallen in love with me, that I was sorry but you can't turn back time. Love isn't a game and for some reason whether intentional or not, most men think that it is and I guess it boils down to that old saying, "If you love something set it free, and that if it were meant to be it would come back". I guess that all falls back to love. I am 42 years old now and I am too old to be playing any sort of mind game with anyone whether or not it be male or female and I have already made up my mind that if this relationship doesn't go anywhere sooner rather than later that it will be over and then I have decided that men will be a thing of the past and I will never get involved with another man the rest of my life. Too bad for them is what I say as I am a very loving, caring, devoted, loyal, giving individual. Sorry for such a length story but this is just one that had some significane to me and my current situation. Thank you for posting and have a great day!!!

I dont think there will be a point in my life where I will give up on love. I want to find that one person in life that will make it all worth while, and I wouldn't want to give up on it.

I haven't because I'm one of the lucky ones who found a soul mate. Two of my girls have too but I think the middle one may have given up. She's in her second relationship and if the person she lives with now loves her he has a strange way of showing it. I hope one day she will find the person she deserves. Be happy on your own, I find I usually have the best conversations when I'm talking to myself. Take care.

Wolfie, you brought back memories for me, but they are memories that don't hurt anymore. As a child and up to the age of 22 years, my motto in life was NOT to like ANYONE. I had found that it was the person you liked who hurt you the most. If you didn't like someone, then the hurt wasn't really hurtful. I just refused to like anyone, and that wasn't very difficult, because no one liked me anyway. My life changed dramatically at 22 (another story) and soon after that, I found love. Although I had been a definite man hater for many years (with good reason) I found a man who was worthy of my trust. Two years later we married and have had a VERY happy marriage for almost 50 years. We have five adult sons who are very happily married and have really wonderful families. Love is real, Wolfie, but as I tell the young people in my youth group, the important factor in any relationship is LIKING the person and having respect for them. When this grows into love, the outcome is secure. I believe a lot of the trouble with broken relationships today is that people rush into things too quickly, before getting to know each other in different ways and learning about each others personalities and traits. I hope you find love, because sharing a life with a loved one is fulfilling to both.

I gave up my first love dued to a cheat from my boyfriend, that made me became more careful, but not close-hearted. I think that for evry chance in life, we have more reasons to hope than to desperate.

Wolfie, I needed me time to work on my health and get into better shape. I have alot of work to get excercising and improving the quality of my life. You know, I am not looking for love because I am not ready , willing or able to handle anymore stress. I have found it very strainful on my mind and body. You know all about my situation but I am being selfish and taking me time. I do not have to be with someone to be happy.

Hello Wolfie. I just can't go into exact details, but it is marriage I have given up on...at least for me. I've come to value my independence too much to ever risk it (or stand for abuse) ever again. I've dated. I love someone now who loves me, too, and is very good to me. But marriage? Nope! And even in love, I hold back a bit just for myself...a sort of protection I imagine. So...for love? I will never ever give up on that. And I feel rather the opposite when it comes for there being someone "right" for each of us. My own theory ( strictly mine, mind you) is that out of the billions of people throughout the world, there is more than likely far MORE than one right person for each of us. Too bad they weren't all labeled as such lol. Take care. Karen