What is the one thing your partner can do that will end your relationship?

@34momma (13891)
United States
September 15, 2009 10:21am CST
I was just wondering, what is the one thing your partner could do in your relationshipe that would be the end of it? We all have our bottom lines, our lines that we don't want crossed, what is yours?
4 people like this
22 responses
• India
15 Sep 09
In a relationship, you normally do not draw any bottom lines. You normally react to the situation as it comes. Your reaction to a situation may vary depending on the time and the situation. Sometimes you can take a thing casually and at times you may over react. You really can't predict the reaction in advance.
2 people like this
@tdemex (3545)
• United States
15 Sep 09
What if he was gay and hid that from you? tdemex
1 person likes this
@Loverbear (4928)
• United States
16 Sep 09
I would hope that the partner in my life would be confident in my open mindedness that he would feel free to tell me that he is gay. I have had a LOT of gay friends and have totally enjoyed each and every one of them as a friend. They seem to have a marvelous sense of humor! I was doing a teddy bear show, and the gentlemen in the booth next to me were gay. We had a wonderful time!!! One of the things that happened was that a woman was really seriously considering a teddy bear they had for sale. I looked at the lady and stated "Mike really needs the money, he is helping put his sister through barber school". She immediately bought the bear and looked at Mike (who didn't hide his being gay!) and stated "I think it is wonderful that you are sending your WIFE through beauty college". After she left with her bear, Mike and his partner and I laughed until we cried over the incident. I would hope, as I said before, that my partner would have enough trust in me that he would be comfortable telling me he was gay. If he hid it and I found out later, I would have no problem with the information. I would feel bad that my partner was so hesitant about telling me because of fear of my reaction. People are so quick to denounce and judge gay people. They feel that it is a "CHOICE" of the person. That isn't always true. It is another one of the parts of lives that we still need to learn about.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
18 Sep 09
So far, I ended a relationship due to the reason that he has an extra affair with another lady.. that is it! Other than that, I havent ended any relationship with another.. but of course, there are a number of reasons when and why we should walk away from our men.. such as abusing, lying and lying again, gambling, criminal activities so on and so forth.
2 people like this
@34momma (13891)
• United States
28 Sep 09
i see you don't take no bullsh*t honey... good for you
@ally12 (1203)
• Philippines
15 Sep 09
I told my husband many times that he can do anything to me and still be forgiven only but for one thing,never ever cheat on me.
2 people like this
@34momma (13891)
• United States
15 Sep 09
i think this is an interesting topic. most people have the some bottom lines. no cheating
@prinzcy (5036)
• Malaysia
15 Sep 09
More than one but two thing and he will never be forgiven: 1 - Cheating on me. Definitely a no. The day I see him do with my own eyes mean bye bye for good. 2 - Raise hand on me. I don't fancy the idea of having someone who hit me as a partner. No matter what the reason is he can't never resort to violence.
2 people like this
@34momma (13891)
• United States
15 Sep 09
violence is never ever the answer to any situation.
1 person likes this
18 Sep 09
Two things, actually which the others have mentioned and I completely agree with - being unfaithful and laying a hand on me. Both things are unacceptable.
• Philippines
17 Sep 09
i can analyze and forgive anything he has done to me,except infidelity. I don't think each of us could go on with the relationship if the trust- main foundation of your relationship, has been destroyed by him seeing or being with another woman.
@harmonee (1236)
• United States
27 Sep 09
This is such a hard question! Sometimes you are totally positive you would leave if your significant other did something, but once in that situation your feelings may change. I know for sure if he ever got physical with me or our son it would be over. I think also if he cheated, because I wouldn't be able to trust him again.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13891)
• United States
28 Sep 09
those two seem to be on the top of everyones list. but like you said, when things really do happen, people tend to change their minds about the lines they draw in the sand
@Hatley (164237)
• Garden Grove, California
17 Sep 09
hi 34 womma well for me what almost finished us but did not was his study friend who was a maneater and forty to my twenty years older and was f alling allover my hubby who was twenty five years older than this husband stealer, I told her that I felt she was not just being s study helper but was trying to break up our marriage, I also told my husband that it wo uld be a lot better to find a male study buddy which he did, he had no idea what she was up to, and I was amazed at that as she was much younger and prettier too. but he told he did not love anyone but me so he got a male f riend to study with him.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13891)
• United States
18 Sep 09
well good for you girl. sometimes you really do have to put your foot down. I am glad he loved you enough to see that this bothered you and he did something about it
• United States
17 Sep 09
If he hit me. That would kill my love for him. After he hi me, I would try to kill him. Another thing is make me feel like he isn't in love with me anymore. Then I would end it.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13891)
• United States
18 Sep 09
hitting can really be a deal breaker. So So not cool
1 person likes this
@StarBright (2799)
• United States
16 Sep 09
In the early years of our marriage, I had a number of deal breakers - 1. absolutely no spouse abuse (No hitting being at the top of the chart) 2. no cheating 3. no child abuse 4. no holding out on the money (we each had a 50-50 share in everything). I can honestly say he has upheld his end on each of these. So now if something goes wrong, after 40 years, I would check his meds to see what is causing his bad behavior.
@34momma (13891)
• United States
16 Sep 09
LOL!! you have no idea how much i need to read this one starbright!! thanks for the great LOL
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
16 Sep 09
I think it would have to be cheating. I have been cheated on so many times in the past by other men. I would not tolerate it in my marriage though. There is no excuse for it at all.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13891)
• United States
16 Sep 09
Hey steph, i got ya on that. cheating is so hurtful in a relationship
@rmuxagirl (7559)
• United States
16 Sep 09
I would have to say that the one thing that would make me end the relationship immediately is if he cheated on me. If he lied we could work it through, but cheating on me is something I don't think I could ever forgive. That just goes beyond trust and loyalty.
@34momma (13891)
• United States
16 Sep 09
trust is so important in a relationship. without it you mind as well be roommates. I hear where you are coming from, thanks
• Philippines
16 Sep 09
i guess if i saw him with another girl in bed. whoah that freaking me out and kicked them both. i will surely not give even just a single tears for him and not even a waste of time talking to him explaining. seeing them in bed naked is something that i can't accept no matter how i love him or how sorry he is.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13891)
• United States
16 Sep 09
wow that would be something woundn't it. i mean knowning that he did something like that is so not like seeing it. I think i would throw up and then try and f*#king kill them both
@Opal26 (17686)
• United States
16 Sep 09
Hi momma! I am afraid to even answer this question because if I ever put it down into writing or typing in this case I'm so very afraid what might happen if I did! I do have a definite breaking point and lines that I won't allow to be crossed now that we are living together, but I really am too afraid to think or say them out loud! I guess they are pretty much the usual ones, as I'm sure you can "assume". I don't like to be lied to for one and my partner hasn't always been the most honest! So that is one thing that I watch very carefully!
1 person likes this
@34momma (13891)
• United States
16 Sep 09
what's the matter opal girl you think if you say it out loud it's going to happen? that's an old wives tale honey! but trust me, i know how you feel. I think we all have lines, but once someone you love crosses that line, things you think you would not forgive or move on from you second guess
@p1kef1sh (45638)
15 Sep 09
I don't know. I have a huge capacity for forgiveness Momma. I could forgive most things including infidelity. I might not be happy about murder. I'd have to think long and hard about that.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13891)
• United States
16 Sep 09
you are an amazing man p1kef1sh!! I am working on forgiviness myself
@ibuemma (2954)
• United States
15 Sep 09
hi 34momma how are you? interesting ! I think if he ever hit me, that will be the end of it. I won't put up with that and I don't think there's any relationship when your partner ever hit you.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13891)
• United States
15 Sep 09
I thinking hitting is a deal braker too.
• Canada
19 Sep 09
Hubby and I both agree that the things that would end oour relationship would be if one of us cheated on the other, if we liked to eachother, or if we tried to control eachother We are two people together and in love because we love eachother, not because we want to control eachother. And if we wanted to be with other people, we would not be in a committed relationship. And why should two people who are in love, and faithfully committed, cheat on eachother? So those are the things that would end our relationship,
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@saraines (154)
• United States
17 Sep 09
cheating
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@hagirl (1296)
• United States
17 Sep 09
That is a hard one because their were two things I warned my current husband about. With my first husband,I was in a physically abusive relationship and he cheated on me. Them were the two things my current husband was warned about. I guess the answer would be which ever comes first.
1 person likes this
@kitty42 (3924)
• United States
16 Sep 09
Hello 34momma There is a few things but this is my top two. Hitting -no/no Cheating- can't get pass this I know some people can get pass cheating I can't, if you have to cheat then its obvious I am not the one for you,just my opinion. Thank you.
1 person likes this