What would you say attracts you to men?

United States
September 15, 2009 9:49pm CST
I am not talking about physical attraction. That is a given and for each woman different. What I am talking about is something that makes you interested, regardless of his looks. Example: Say you are at a singles group or maybe a bar or nightclub. You came with a friend because she didn't want to come alone. Whatever the situation there are more women than men so it's not likely that you will be asked to dance soon, which by the way is fine with you because after all, your doing your friend a favor. After while you notice this one man that no matter how you try to keep from looking at him, something about him attracts you. You come to realize that you would be interested in meeting him. What is it about this man that would attract you?
3 people like this
12 responses
@maezee (42254)
• United States
16 Sep 09
In my opinion, just because a guy is attractive doesn't mean there's going to be instantaneous chemistry. I personally notice (and am attracted to) eye contact, smiling, and his style! But that's just me!
2 people like this
• United States
16 Sep 09
And your opinion is a good one. Thank you very much for your response. I would hazard a guess that the style you refer to relates to self confidence. That makes such a difference in ones appearance.
@cainam (493)
• Philippines
16 Sep 09
i like smart guys. someone i could talk to and make sensible conversations. the sense of humor is also a must.
1 person likes this
@cainam (493)
• Philippines
16 Sep 09
im attraccted to a guy with mysterious personality. a man of few word but with sense of humor.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Sep 09
Oooo Tall, Mysterious, and Handsome lol. I agree with you there. A silent guy can be VERY sexy if he does it the right way...with the right smoldering look lol
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Sep 09
It has been said that brevity reflects wit. Of course the sense of humor in that case would be absolutely required. If not how would you ever get to know him? *smile* Thank you for your comment.
@cainam (493)
• Philippines
17 Sep 09
do you know any guy who's mysterious?
1 person likes this
@rg0205 (2638)
• Hong Kong
16 Sep 09
Style, charisma and attitude (one that isn't a jerk, that is.)
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Sep 09
Attitude reflecting self confidence I assume. Could you define what you mean be style and charisma? Thank you for your comment.
@rg0205 (2638)
• Hong Kong
17 Sep 09
Hmm, well, someone who is neat and carries himself well. Not old fashioned but not too much of a fashionista. Charisma where he's kind, open, approachable, friendly but not in an a-hole kind of way. The type of guy that girls would like to talk to and guys would like to hang with.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Sep 09
Thank you very much for expanding on that. You are a woman of few words and I am sure a man would have to be that also.
• Malaysia
16 Sep 09
I would look for a man's masculine characteristics first. He must be able to have that "take control" look. When he sees me, he must not be shy. He must speak his mind and knows that I am the one he wants, at least for that evening. After that, if anything should develop, we will let it run its course. A man can be seductive in his won way, don't you know?
1 person likes this
@cainam (493)
• Philippines
17 Sep 09
you want a tough guy huh. cool.
• United States
17 Sep 09
Is that true Grace, tough or just confident? Sounds like at the very least you want someone that will come get you. *smile*
• United States
23 Oct 09
The dong, NO.... Just Kidding I would say it is his ora he produces When I met my Wonderful Man His ora, the way he smiled at me, b/c it was sure not what he said LOL He said something quite funny... Well, no it pure shocked me... He was working in stripper that you take wax off a floor, I said can I walk thru here, he says sure, I teased and said, If I fall would you kiss it and make it better? He Says, "It depends on how low you drop your pants." But Boy Let me tell you I am SOOOOO Thankful I was able to see thru that... He is the Greatest Everything to Me... ALL I Want.. WOW WHAT A MAN!!!
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Nov 09
Good for you. Isn't it funny how at times we meet someone that ,at first, seems rude and offensive and maybe even a downright jerk, can end up being the perfect person for us. I wish you all the best.
• United States
17 Sep 09
i love a guy that can make me laugh. if he can make me laugh, he is in
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Sep 09
So if you were at a party and your sitting there while your friend dance's the only man you would notice would be the one who comes over and teases you. Is that what you are saying or are you only talking about someone you would consider a relationship with?
• Indonesia
16 Sep 09
I think the sense of humour would be the first attraction. Someone who loves to laugh are fun to be with and is never boring. Another one is his modesty. I don't like one who loves to show off what he has or what he can do. It's definitely a turn off. A down to earth man is super attractive for me.
• United States
17 Sep 09
Well what I was trying to determine was not so much what it would take to keep you interested but what may catch your attention if you saw him from across the room. It seems that most all women love to be entertained and, by that, I mean a man that has a great sense of humor. That is a given. But that would only become apparent after you met. True that could be observed in how he interacts with others but what else might catch your attention? I do like your answer. Clearly you do know a good man once you meet him.
@dawnald (84787)
• Shingle Springs, California
16 Sep 09
First of all, if I was just looking it WOULD be physical. To attract me some other way, I'd have to get into a conversation with the person and he'd have to be able to 1) make me feel really comfortable 2) keep up more than his fair share of the conversation at least at first and 3)have something to say that was interesting to me.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Sep 09
So what your saying that, in this given situation, if he were not handsome you would not even notice him. Did I get that right. There are so many ways that men can appear attractive but not necessarily be what society considers one of the beautiful people. The way he dresses, how clean and shaven he is, his presence reflects someone who knows who he is and is very happy with it thereby allowing him to focus on others. So given those qualities would you notice him or over-look him if he were not handsome? The three qualities you talk about would attract you but only after you actually met him.
@stephcjh (38707)
• United States
16 Sep 09
I would have to say that I watch his actions and listen to what he has to say. I also pay attention to see if he is a nice or sarcastic person. I do not want a man that is a smart elik. I like a man that is funny but also compassionate.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Sep 09
It would seem to me that how you see this may be a reflection on age or experience. When in her early 20's my sister met a man who, to her, seemed to be funny and confident. He seemed to me to be just cocky but that seemed to be part of the attraction for her. His cockiness proved out to be self centered and not at all what she thought he was. He lacked the one additional thing you require, compassion. He had a favorite saying, and seemed to live it. "If you have a friend that is true and blue, mess over him before he messes over you". Not exactly how he said it but you get the point. Thank you steph I appreciate your comment.
@rmuxagirl (7552)
• United States
16 Sep 09
I would have to say swense of humor is a big thing with me, as well as intelligence. I like a guy who can make me laugh and know what he is talking about. A caring heart is important to me as well. I want a guy who cares about other people. He has to have a good head on his shoulders...etc. There are a lot of things that attract me to a man.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Sep 09
Would you agree then, that a man who has a strong since of self who can then be open enough to be funny may, at first, appear to be more intelligent than he really is? Of all the qualities you describe which would be the most important, intelligence and wit, or the caring heart? Often they don't come together. The great thing about, having it all, is that when you do have intelligence it often will allow you to make a difference in those people's lives that you do care about. Of course if you can't make a difference at least you can leave them laughing. Thank you very much for your response. Much appreciated.
@Hatley (164014)
• Garden Grove, California
16 Sep 09
hi jbrooks-127 what attracted me to my husband to be was his smile'and his laughter.we met when we were asked to make as surgical bed together and we argued about how to do it.he was an orderly where I worked as a nurses aide. we had to laugh even as we argued.he asked me out and one thing led to another,he also had a cute butt but his smile lit up his whole face. my adult son does the same thing when he smiles, his eyes light up And he grins just like his dad did. I knew the moment I saw him that he was the man for me.
• United States
16 Sep 09
Isn't is strange that often when we first meet someone we may not get along very well. But then as we get to know them better, even in a short period of time, we find that special something that attracts us. Thank you for your response Hatley.
• United States
5 Jun 11
All my answers are about the physical. If I am not close enough to hear him speak , then it has to the physical. what would catch my eye is red hair Or he is dressed like a biker Or he is a cowboy. Other than that I Have to be Much closer . TRThen it would be his point of view or his sense of humor.