Would You Hate Your Dad?

i had a lot of bad experiences with my father also when we are growing up. and now he is with a new wife and left us years ago. their child (my step brother) is 21years old already and what is more painful is that relatives welcome the new wife than my mom. i will no longer elaborate my story for i dont like to fill this space of mine at the response of hate about my father. but for me it is better ti separate them than hearing a lot of this. if your father is always picking fights and always saying hurtful words to your mother, think of this? does your mother deserve all of this. i wont let my dad do that to our mom and as i am the first child of five siblings i was the one who protected my mom from my dad. my mom got a heart attack two years ago and i demanded for my father to pay all of my mother's hospital bills for they are not really legally separated, and he did or else i am really going to freak out if he will not take good care of that. for me as a child of a mother who is been hurt and sacrifice for a lot of years someone has to stand up for your mom.

I would. I do actually. He has done far too wrong and is frankly still doing. I have the unfortunate luck of not having a job, thus no money, thus no possibility of moving out, so every turn I give I'm hearing him down talking me for one. Plus, looking back on my life, I realize how little he did to help me. No encouragement, more hindering me than helping, poor guidance... all he wanted was for me to follow his footsteps and once I said no, he cared no more for what I could go after and thus didn't gave me the smallest hint. So, yes, I hate him somewhat and I won't really miss him when he's gone. Cold as it may sound, my parents are probably one of those people, if not the only ones, I'll cry about when their time comes.

Hey Archie, I am so sorry to learn that your Dad has been abusing you and your mom. If anything like this had happened to me maybe I too would never forgive that person. If you are still a student then probably I can only suggest one thing. You need to concentrate real hard on your studies and land yourself in a good job. Take your mom out of the clutches of that so called "man". I mean what sort of a man can hit a child or a woman. I hate those men who do so. If you are the elder of your family then your responsibilities even increases further. You need to take care of your mom and make her smile again, which I guess she must not have for a long time now. Take care dear friend.

I hate my dad but I love him at the same time. When I was a little girl. He always beat me, my sis and my mom. He even throw a chair to my sis. And it make my sis has a scar on her face. He always fight with my mom. He even go away for some stupid reason. He doesnt know how to be a husband or a father. Or I should say he doesnt know how to be a man. But I still love him cuz he is still my dad. But now things go worse. He blames my mom if my mom ask him for money. It is the thing he has to do. Why he has to blame us. He is my dad how come I cannot ask for money. I am not mean that I wanna lotta lotta money but it is my mom really has a big problem of money. I hate him. For me, to avoid fighting. The only thing I can do is not to talk to him. Maybe it is the only thing I can do. Take good care of yourself and your mom.

You still stay with your dad even if he hurts you because you love him. He had done things that hurt you, but you still stayed because you love him. Do you love yourself and your mother? If you do, you will not let anyone hurt your mom and yourself even if it were your father. That is not what love should be. Get help from other people. It is at this point that you have to seek help. Be strong and love yourself.

I have not been very kind to myself in life because I have wasted so much of my precious time worrying about my parents and feeling hurt by them. I wish that at an early age I had accepted that none of it was my fault and just accepted the fact that we weren't a perfect family, instead of years of crying and being upset. I hope that your dad has given you SOME reason to love him over the years, but nevertheless you need to start looking after yourself, and maybe distancing yourself a little bit. I am afraid that although we want them to be perfect, our parents are just flesh and blood people like us and can be full of problems. Don't let it bring you down in life - that's the advice I would give.

i felt sad about your story. my dad is not like that and you know mom and dad never show us that they are fighting or exchanging some bad words. i hate a father like your father, if i were you tell your mom to leave your father and live with you. your dad may kill your mother.

Hello Archie I feel sorry about your problem. It's true, it is not an easy one. The hardest problem as far as I knew is when it would start in our family. Family problem. In your case, I admired you for being so considerable in spite of the fact that your father created a serious problem with your family. I am no sure if my advise would be good enough. Is it okay with your mother and your siblings to leave your father and find some place that could not reach by your father. Or, stay with your relatives faraway in the province for a while. There were some cases like this that when the father being left by the family, and stay away from him, The father change. If it would be okay with your mother why not try this idea...just think it would just be a vacation... Remember my friend, no matter our father would be, whatever happens he is still your father...be patient always...Good luck my friend..God bless...

Hi, archie. I'm sorry to hear about your story. It's sad but it's so true. If i were you, i will stop the relationship with my dad and never want to have any connection with him anymore. At the same time, i will study hard in order to get a good job in the future and try my best to get my mom out of this horrible situation. Personally, i do not think it's useful to sit down and have a talk with dad since it's impossible for him to do so. I will not waste my time on this. I hope soon you and your mom will leave such a bad situation. Have a nice day and happy mylotting.

I'm so shocked after i read what you wrote above. My dad gets along well with my mom all these years and my dad never beats us . I don't know how to give you the suggestions . I hope that your monther can live a better life just by staying away from your father. But there's a saying here that it's no good to suggest couples to get divorced. Is it helpful for all of the kids to talk to your father about the situation of your family ?

Hi archie..I am so like you... I have always hated my dad.... since the very time I could understand things... my dad is a lawyer, a businessman and a successful poilitican in our place when I was little. My mom was an educator but had to stop working and stay home for us kids since there are four of us... she is a veeryyyyy goooood mom.....my friends envy me becasue she is sooooo loving, sweet, supportive, undertsanding....... she is my best friend. i can tell her things I couldn't even share to my closest friend. she is a wonderful person and so loooved by everybody.... she has a good heart. my dad, on the other hand, is the owrst husband, the worst father I have known, and a very terrible person. he is so cold and aloof and distant and oblivious....... i guess his being an "only child" has a big factor why he is like that... he is not used to affection, and sharing......... he's got tons of money but he keeps it to himself... my mom had to look for ways to pay for our school fees and other needs........... when i get home from school very excited coz I'm bringing home a first-honor medal, he doesn't even show one hint of appreciation or being proud of me. he doesn't know any of our birthdays.......... my dad is not physically abusive, but sometimes he does, very rarely tough....... but he treats everybody like pigs. i grew up seeing my dad, but its just as good as i didn't have a dad at all......... if it weren't for my mom I wouldn't be where I am right now..... if it weren't for mom too, we could have grown very troubled, but we didn't........her strong love for us helped us through everything... we grew up that way, and we learned to distance ourselves from our dad too though we live in the same roof. but life is so tough and we need money to get by, so my mom went back to the states to work... we are left in dad's house... it's so odd because we see each other, yet we just ignore each other. he has women who are very young, and he spends for them--- buys them cars and pays for their apartment, and buy them expensive gifts and mobile phones. yet when we were little, he doesn't even buy us toys. I can't help it that when I was growing up.... my hatred towards my dad grows and grows too.. I feel like i have to be always around to protect my mom.... i am better now that there are apart form each other... But i have somehow closed my doors on my dad........

Yes you are right when someone does a great mistake then he should not be forgiven whether he may be close one or anyone else..your situation is quite harsh one..if i had to go through yours one then it would be hard to imagine how life would be at that time...if my dad had done mistakes like that then i wont love him

I would not say that I will not, but I try real hard to understand. In other words, I try not to hate him because I believe there are certain reasons behind everything. Like you I have my own problems with family and I admire you for talking about it here, because if it was me, I would not dare to. You must put in my mind that whatever happens he is still your father, and despite the things he does you must try not to hate him COMPLETELY. You may feel terrible for things that happen to you now but if you don't stay strong for your mom and siblings, you will be the one who will lose. You have to protect your mom and siblings because if not, who will? Just don't lose hope because at the end of the day, your dad will realize that he has done terrible things, and he is the one who suffers.

I love my father, he is role model for me in his love, hardwork and responsibilites! He is my good friend!

Hi Archie, Sad to hear about the incident that happened at your parents. Stay calm in handling this situation. From your comment, I can imagine how rude is your dad to your mum and to you. But all the time, you still love him. I am just wondering why your mum still can stay with your daddy although being treat badly all this time? Does your dad still support you and your study? Ever thought of asking your mum to get divorce from him since your dad is not a responsible man and never treat his family good. There is no way to fight with him and it make yourself tired. Unless you and your dad can sit together and talk about the problem that arising in your family. or else, no poin to stay on to this relationship. It is only my tips for you from my point of view!! Cheer up,ok!!