raising kids...

@saraines (154)
United States
September 22, 2009 4:10pm CST
I myself do not have kids of my own, but i do have nieces and nephews...i would like to know how many people think like i do...my question is, should kids get everything they want even though they might not be doing good in school or listening to parents? I think they should work for what they want, like do their best in school, do what they are supposed to at home and above all listen to their parents...what do you think?
2 people like this
17 responses
@happy6162 (3001)
• United States
23 Sep 09
No, parents should not give a child everything they want. Parents are suppose to teach their children right from wrong and that their child has to earn what they get. If the parent wants the child to listen to them then the parents has to be the one in charge not the child.
@saraines (154)
• United States
23 Sep 09
Thank-You for your response happy6162
• United States
23 Sep 09
I agree and I believe kids should have to earn those things that they want. I watched as my parents lost control of my little sister because she learned she COULD get whatever she wanted, even if my parents said no. It all started because they said yes to many times and whenever she did something wrong, the punishment never quite pulled through. So she learned that she didn't have to give respect or earn what she wanted, she just took it. So I definitely do not think kids should get what they want and watching the young generation, I've noticed the more kids get what they want, the less respectful and more spoiled they become.
@saraines (154)
• United States
23 Sep 09
i agree with you, even though it should be the other way around, no? the more they give you, the better you should act, be thankful for what they have...Thank-you phoenix
@sandymay16 (1617)
• Philippines
23 Sep 09
I don't have a child and I am not married but I help take care of a nephew. he's been living with us since he was 3 years old. His father comes home every week and sometimes I don't get it because the father sometimes or most of the time gives in to the child's demands. And my nephew is raised to follow rules, do chores and everything expected of him as a kid. My mom was the moving force and now thst my mom's gone everyone in the house pitches in as hard as we can to help. My friends would often say that I am more a mom than they are and they have kids. Why? because I go to PTAs, I help in the assignments, I cook, I go to market, I scold, I take him to the doctor, etc. And with these, I don't want to have kids on my own, it's so tiring. LOL
@saraines (154)
• United States
23 Sep 09
I feel the same way, I don't have kids of my own, but at times i take care of my niece and nephew or my godson, i enjoy it very much, but it is tiring...
@cherrc (661)
• Philippines
23 Sep 09
i believe there should be some limitations when getting everything kids want for them to have a little sense of responsibility. so that they would realize on early stage that not everything is easy and within reach. in such a way, it can also serve as an inspiration and a driving force to study and give their best shot. :)
@saraines (154)
• United States
23 Sep 09
Thank-You cherrc
@kid221 (150)
• Philippines
23 Sep 09
Hi Saraines.. I am a bachelor with no kids out of wedlock. I have a niece and two nephews of my my brothers to care of. I love kids because they're adorable and makes my day complete after a busy day in the office. Most of my attention goes to my nephews and niece. If they ask for toys , pronto, they will get what they want. I give them things they want. Sometimes these kids are annoying once they are on hyper mode. Things in the house will get tupsy turvy but still you will still wear a smile. These cute little angels in the house makes our life fulfilled and happy as they are our precious gems.
@saraines (154)
• United States
23 Sep 09
I don't see a problem with what you are saying, but i also believe that because of the way things are now a days it is also up to us(aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc.) to instill in them good values, and show them the difference between right and wrong.
@mom_2009 (12)
• United States
23 Sep 09
yes i agree with u. i have two kids of my owm 2 and 9.they would love for me to give them whatever they wanted... like my daughter she has chores that she does around the house, like she helps me do the dishes, picks her stuff up on the floor, cleans her room. i guess she thinks cause her friends gets whatever they want she should too.. iam raising her the way my mom raised me.that life isnt the way that u always that u want it to be. but i just tell her that she might not like it for the moment but that she will respect me later for doing it, and guiding her in the right direction.......and my 2 year old makes the messes but he does pick up his toys and puts them in his room...
@saraines (154)
• United States
23 Sep 09
and when they are older they will appreciate it, my parents raised me in the same way you sound like you are raising your kids, of course when you are young you think they are just being cruel, but as we get older we start understanding and start appreciating what has been done for us...best of luck to you mom_2009.
• United States
23 Sep 09
In my family both my wife and I only give my kids what they need. They need to earn what they want. We dont give them what they want if they have bad grades in school or if they get into trouble at school. They also need to respect there Mom and Dad at home if they want stuff. They cant act bad and then expect things from us. They need to be good and then we will buy them things as we see fit they need. We say "Good behavoir=Good consequences." They need to be good to get stuff.
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
24 Sep 09
If they get what they want when they aren't trying their best, they are going to turn into horrible little terrors that grow up into horrible big terrors.
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
22 Sep 09
Nope they should not. That is a big problem with kids these days. They all seem to think they are just entitled to stuff without having to do anything for it. I don't think if kids don't do chores or do well in school that they should get stuff. Of course they should get the basics, food and clothes and all that, but the special things should be earned. If my my kids want to buy a video game or something like that they use their birthday money, Christmas money, or allowance, that they have to earn, if they don't do their chores they don't get paid. My kids do very well in school too so once in a while my husband and I will buy them something or give them a treat to surprise them. But they deserve it because they are good kids, and deserve an occasional surprise.
@saraines (154)
• United States
22 Sep 09
that's what i'm talking about...if all parents thought that way, maybe kids now a days(i'm not saying all kids)would have more respect for others...
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
24 Oct 09
yes they should have to do a certain amount of being good for things at least. no kid will be perfect and therefore should get things sometimes without being perfect but they shouldnt have everything they want. i think thats why a lot of kids dont have ambition and character any more. to many are given way more then they deserve and some are given everything.
@rainmark (4302)
22 Sep 09
I do agree with you. I have a son, is 20 months old,but i never spoiled him. Never give him too much. And i already teach him early that not all, he wanted he can get. He needs to wait and learn that not all things are easy to get. I don't want him to grow spoiled and miserable. Happy myLoting.
@saraines (154)
• United States
22 Sep 09
you are going the right way with him, i am sure when he is older he will appreciate things more, i know i did and i thank my parents every day for teaching me the correct way.
@marguicha (216607)
• Chile
22 Sep 09
I´m old fashioned, saraines. When I was a kid, presents were for birthdays and Christmas. Nothing else. We did have a minimal allowance with which we could buy ourselves a popsicle or save it to buy something bigger with a lot of effort. Now my grandchildren get whatever they please and as it´s not important, they don´t take care of their clothes, toys or books. They know mom will buy another one. Fortunatly, in spite a everything, they are turning out ok. But I remember a few years ago that I told my eldest grandaughter that she was lucky not to have me as her mother. She asked why and I said that if a child of mine had answered me as she answered her momma, she would get such a slap that I wouldn´t leave a tooth in her mouth. That was an exageration, of course, but I did give my two daughters a couple of spankings in their butts and they don´t look as if I had injured them mentally forever. In fact, we are a very close family and my both daughters come to me when they have a problem. I think that this family harrassment is going too far and children don´t learn that there are limits. My grandchildren love me, but they don´t do at my home what they do at theirs. Even their language is more polished at my home.
@saraines (154)
• United States
22 Sep 09
you are totally right marguicha, i was raised the same way, thought not to talk back , not to be in adults conversations, etc. i think the government has a lot to do with the way kids are now a days, because they have instilled in kids that for every little thing to call it child abuse, so of course kids have taken advantage of that just to get their way. I myself was never hit as a kid, all my parents had to do was look at me and i knew that if i didn't relax i was going to be in trouble and since i did not want to find out what kind of trouble i would relax very quick...But you are correct, just because you reprimand kids does not mean they will dislike you, as a matter of fact most of the time they look for you, because they know they can count on you...Thank you for your comment...
• Canada
22 Sep 09
Any parent that thinks that a child should get what they want despite their behaviour needs to reevaluate their parenting strategy as that child will grow up with the same expectations as an adult and more likely lead them into sociopathic adults.
@saraines (154)
• United States
22 Sep 09
i agree...do you remember that case in the news a few yrs. back, where the boys used to get what ever they wanted when they were young, once they grew up, and did not get their way they killed their parents...that right there proves that just because you give them everything when they are kids, doesn't mean they will turn out right. thanks for your response.
@kutedarsu (254)
• India
23 Sep 09
Unless a child is given all the freedom he/she deserves parents cannot expect them to learn how to handle it. Shadowing them for the most part of their lives will eventually spoil them. They should be taught to have their own mind and personality which will make them live their own lives. 'Guidance' is the key not 'Control'.
@hotsummer (13835)
• Philippines
23 Sep 09
it really depends. i think that we should really give gifts to our children, love them unconditionally. not because they are good at school , not because they pass their exams and not because they are what we expect them to be. but that does not mean that we should not encourage children to study and work hard and of course we should not give every thing or pamper them too much even if they are very obedient. we must teach them the value of money also that we don't earn money so easily but we should not reward them cause they think that they are only worth or we love them according to what they can do. we should not make them feel that way. we should make them feel that they are loved no matter what.
• United States
22 Sep 09
absolutely not, They should work to earn things because that teaches them how in this life you have to work for what you have unless you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth
@gmatthews (154)
• United States
23 Sep 09
I will be the first to admit that my kids are spoiled, but my kids also respect me. If they do wrong then they pay the consequences whether it's being grounded, having something taken away, or a nice pop on the buttox. I'm old school so it's okay to spank your kids when they need it. If you do not set rules, guidelines, and boundaries then they will grow up to be menaces to society.