I'm in a myLot rut...

@miamilady (4924)
United States
September 24, 2009 12:55pm CST
I've been a member for quite some time now. When I signed up, I was thrilled that I had an outlet to express things that I'd had on my mind for a long time, but never had the courage to talk about out loud in real life. I asked questions about lots of different things. It was a relief to "be myself" in a way that I was not comfortable doing in the real world. Now, I still have things to talk about, but I've found myself stuck in a rut. My recent discussions have been somewhat self absorbed. It's been more of a "journal" type thing, but with some feedback from other myLotters. Although this has been a positive for me at times, I'm beginning to feel that people are getting tired of hearing me whining about my day to day "ordeals". I'm thinking I need to start asking more about YOU ALL and talking less about me. I know that when I have friends that do nothing but talk about themselves on and on, it does get a bit tiresome. I don't want to continue doing that to my myLot friends. BUT, I'm finding that the thing that I really want to talk about, I can't. I have a shared sign on with my children (in an attempt to keep them relatively "safe" online) and they have easy access to my myLot account as well. I don't want to lock them out. I've always TRIED to maintain an open book type of policy with my kids. Of course I haven't succeeded 100% but I do try. Have you ever gotten the point where you want to express yourself but you are feeling like you can't?
5 people like this
11 responses
@manong05 (5029)
• Philippines
29 Sep 09
Good question my friend. Yes, it happens to me a lot. There are times when I find it difficult to put my ideas into words and this is made more complicated being a non-native English speaker. I have to think in English and not just merely translate my sentences verbatim otherwise it will not make any sense at all. LOL When I sit down in front of my computer I just type whatever issue that comes in my mind jumping from one subject to another which are light years apart. This may not be a problem considering a wide composition of audience coming from different countries with varied interests. There are times when I got stuck so I treat myself to a cup of coffee and take a breath of fresh air then back again. Happy mylotting. Cheers.
@KrauseHome (36632)
• United States
26 Sep 09
Personally I think we have all experienced times like this in our life, and that can mean a lot of Good things for sure. I know personally I have shared a lot of things going on in my life here in discussions I have started and discussions others have started as my personal thoughts and feelings are who I really am as well. So in reality, I think you should not be afraid to start new discussions here and respond back to us unless it is something you feel could eventually cause a lot of others harm as well.
• United States
25 Sep 09
I came to MyLot just to try to connect but back then I didn't know how. When Igot here I firs got to use the name I always wanted.Then I found friends who are interested in the same thing I am,like hockey.Then I found my best friend. He lives in London. I would have never met him anywhere else.I have become more the person I wanted to be.I use to be,and still can be,the friend who just sits and listens as friends pour their hearts out.I never said anything about myself.Now I will listen And then try to help. I am open enough to do that now.I love to read your posts.You seem to need to vent.I never thought you were whining,ever.If you ever need to talk, just send me aprivate message.I'll listen and try to help.What are friends for?
@jillmalitz (5132)
• United States
25 Sep 09
Of course. Especially when it comes to family and close friends I have to try to be careful what I say online. But I did warn them that I might have some words about them that they might not like but I call them as I see them. If they don't want to risk it, don't read what I say. Of course my kids are grown now so it is different from having younger children at home. In that situation I agree that you have to be careful what is said and how it is said.
@Bluepatch (2480)
• Trinidad And Tobago
25 Sep 09
Use objerctive language and terminology. Its the only way but if you have children who might be affected then you shouldn't. Its a way of protecting them for them not to know all the things that affect their parents. Anytime you haver things to express you should go in the objective sense anyway. Or write it as if they are about somebody else - not you.
@roniroxas (10574)
• Philippines
25 Sep 09
i do express myself freely, what you see is what you get. i am a single mom of four children and it is not easy to handle teens but so far so good. i have rules that they obey smoothly and in return i trust them on the level that they deserve. i dont make discussions as a journal type for sometimes there are people who does not care about that. they are more on talking about happy things for they have their own problems as well. i am here to enjoy, so i am more on discussion that makes me laugh or smile. i do join on discussions that i can share or suggest but if i know i wont be of help i no longer dip my feet into it.
@Archie0 (4667)
25 Sep 09
[i]Hello miamilady. well yes many times this becomes my favourite sitaution when the sitautions are bad on me. I am always confused to express my feelings when i am sad for somene or i want to console someone.I just cannot do this thing. I feel like saying my sorrows to someone but i just can never explain myself to anyone.[/i]
@worldwise1 (14887)
• United States
25 Sep 09
No one here expects their friends to respond to each and every discussion they post, ML, because thet would be unreasonable. I see nothing wrong with focusing on yourself if you feel the need to. In most cases friends and others will simply move on to something else if they are not feeling your discussion. My friends sometimes post on topics about which I know little or nothing, and I don't think they would hold it against me if I pass those up. If you are worried about what your children might read that you post on myLot why not just change your myLot password?
@celticeagle (122950)
• Boise, Idaho
25 Sep 09
Then take a different tack. If being in a rut is a problem then branch out and do it differently. I think I kind have a reputation for going the hippy route and trying to be funny or bringing to mind things like movies and such that bring back good memories. I hope. We are all different and enjoy different things. To heck with being safe. Go for the gusto and let the real miamilady come out. What things really make you happy? What have you laughed about lately? What things have your family done lately? Think about those sort of things and see what you can come up with. What is your true reason for being on Mylot? To rant and rave, gripe, have fun, bring joy and laughter, or what?
@Opal26 (17690)
• United States
24 Sep 09
Hey miamilady! I understand your dilema! I don't honestly know what to tell you since I have no children. I don't think that your discussions are boring either. If you have something that you need to discuss this is the place to do it! Most people that come here are here to discuss their problems be it whatever it is and real mylotters aren't here to judge, but to help wherever they can! I know that even though I don't have kids I have always been around children and helped to raise my godchild and always babysat others children so I do know something about children and don't shy away from those discussions. So don't feel badly about using mylot to vent about yourself or what's happening in your life since so many others do the same thing! That is what is so wonderful about this site! No one needs to explain! So please just keep on being you, and don't give it another thought! Hugs, Opal
24 Sep 09
Then maybe you're a born writer. And being one doesn't have to mean that you're an undiscovered Stephen King - have you ever thought about content writing? Writing and publishing online, be it short stories, tips and how to stuff? Or why not start a blog - and make it work? Maybe you have a good knowledge of something ... time management (you're a parent after all!) or hints and tips for running a home? I don't know - I could think of loads of cool subjects just based upon what you've written here. And what do you really want to talk about that they can't read? Is it a negative subject? Maybe you could turn that into a positive. Get 'it' out there, advise others (I've no idea what your 'thing' is, I'm winging it here) and make it something others can learn from. If you want any more help (if anything I've said struck a chord) give me a shout. If not - good luck :)