what will you do if you find your boyfriend/girl friend reading your diary

@iamfine (740)
China
September 27, 2009 6:45am CST
hello mylotters, today when I am back from outside, and enter into my room, I find that my boyfriend was reading my diary. He explained that my diary looks like a normal notebook from its appearance, he though maybe there was some study points in there, so he read it. And he explained that I come back when he just about to read. I believe in him because I know he is not that person who is insterested in other's diary. but I was angry at him for a while this morning, because I wrote some bad words about him on my diary, maybe he read it, maybe he didn't, it is my turn to feel puzzle, so I am not happy! What will you do if you are in my situation??
1 person likes this
10 responses
• New Zealand
27 Sep 09
I would lose a lot of trust in that person. A diary is something of personal matters and for them to break your trust and just read YOUR thoughts and YOUR ideas i would feel a bit violated. A diary is ment for you and you only thats why diaries are special. Diaries would have no value or no one would write them. You could just call them auto biographies if they were ment for everyone. So I would feel like they had broken my trust if they were reading my diary.
@iamfine (740)
• China
27 Sep 09
thanks for sharing your opinion again. Yeah diary is personal thing that nobody would like others to see even if there's nothing special inside there. But I forgive him this time, because I trust him, he said he didn't read it much, since i know him, I believe he is not a guy who like to explore what's inside others.
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@vingyan06 (2486)
• Malaysia
13 Oct 09
Just if you feel you can forgive him, then just forgive him and forget about that again. Hope you both don't get any quarrel about this issue. And if you do not want any one to read your diary, you should not simply place your diary. He might have read apart of what you read or he was just trying to start to read something but you were just back at the same time. But if you choose to forgive him, you have to forget everything had happen today.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
27 Sep 09
i would really be hurt aout this, actually. it is so hard to feel you ar enot free to write your thoughts, etc and that your bf does not trust you enough to even bther try to read your diary. if this cannot be avoided, i would suggest you to just create a online diary where you are the only one who knows your user name and password.
2 people like this
@iamfine (740)
• China
27 Sep 09
hello chiyosan, thank you for your advise, I do have a online diary, but I don't think online diary is safe too. As a matter of fact, when I write my diary I don't like to turn on my computer, I prefer to write my diary on the notebook quietly. And about his writing my diary, it dosn't matter to me now, I trust in him, that's the most important thing, and he did say sorry for his mistake.
@Ravenladyj (22904)
• United States
27 Sep 09
Well I'd be ticked off that my husband was snooping in my room for starters (we dont share a bedroom btw)..then I'd be ticked off that he was reading my personal things rather than asking me first....If he wanted to read it all he would have had to do is ask me..
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@iamfine (740)
• China
27 Sep 09
hello ravenladyj, yeah, I think you are right, to ask shows his respect and honest. I think your diary will never be read by your husband, I think nobody dare ask to see other's diary... BTW, why you don't share bedroom? If you don't mind to share...
• Malaysia
28 Sep 09
He is faking it and looks stupid because you caught him red-handed doing something which a normal ethical person would not do. Next time, create a diary blog and write all your personal feelings in there. Make sure no one can access to it but you.I do hope he read the @#$$%%@@??x!!! words that you wrote about him so that he will know how to treat you better!
1 person likes this
@iamfine (740)
• China
28 Sep 09
haha, thank you for your response gracefuldove, it is very kind of you. I do have the though to open a blog to write something there, also put some of my company's products in there, but for diary, I get use to write in my notebook. No matter what I wrote in my diary, it was my though in a certain state. I choose to trust in him once. I guess he really didn't know it was my diary, because i bought a new notebook with new cover, so he mistaken it as my normal notebook.
• Brazil
27 Sep 09
Hello. If you really trust on your boyfriend and have build a solid relationship with him,, just trust his word and assume he is talking the truth. I'm pretty sure he was ling when he told you that he took your diary by mistake, but I can't be 100% sure since I don't know him. If you ever break up and need some support, you can look for me :p
2 people like this
@iamfine (740)
• China
27 Sep 09
haha loganirado, you are interesting. I would rather trust in him, because I know him very well, the reason why I am so afraid of his reading my diary, is that I write bad words about him in my diary. But he didn't get angry or wierd mood today, i guess he did read my diary by mistake... He keeps diary too, but I read his diary like I read story book, it is open to me ... huh
@offlimits (596)
• Philippines
28 Sep 09
I would say that would be invasion of privacy, and even he is your boyfriend he doesn't have the right to read any private material without your permission. If I was in your situation I think I will be mad at him for I don't know how long. I treasure most of my things so I wouldn't want anyone to meddle with them. If he says he's sorry and he's sincere with it, then you can forgive him. But that doesn't change the fact that he looked at your diary so you must take good care of it next time. And also, make sure that he is not lying about not being able to read the contents of the diary. It is a matter of trust between the two of you in any way.
1 person likes this
@iamfine (740)
• China
28 Sep 09
thank you again for your response in my discussions. partly you are right, but now I don't think it is too bad to share my diary with him, anyway I don't have any secret from him, and sometiems there are things that I am too ambarass to say by words, so I can write down, and he can read my thoughts... But he already promiss not to touch my notebooks again in the future.
• Philippines
28 Sep 09
That's good to know. Take care! :)
@med889 (5941)
28 Sep 09
This is simply unacceptable for me though, Once when I went in the bathroom to take a shower and came back after some time I found my boyfriend in front of my laptop and he told me that the mail(which was a shortcut to my desktop) is very funny. I laugh and then I realized that he has open the folder to see what was there inside so he has probably seen every folder also. I was really angry and from that day I have a password in my laptop now. There is nothing to hide but still I like my privacy at least in my laptop.
@iamfine (740)
• China
30 Sep 09
hello med889, thank you for sharing. I think it is mutual trustness that matters, if he trust you, he couldn't open and folder and check what's in there. But if he found that you have password since then, will he feel hurt? since this way, that means you don't trust him now.
• Malaysia
30 Sep 09
Hello! If the boyfriend/girlfriend wants to feel hurt, go ahead and read the diary. A diary is the most sincere and honest thoughts of you that should not be shared by others especially when you are writing the ups and downs of your relationship. I didn't have a diary, but I would always write something in a notebook, just at random time of what I was feeling. At that time, my fiance *now he's my hubby* was trying to find something to read and I didn't know he took the notebook. He suddenly went on moody and upset, and he left me a note telling me maybe he's not the man that's right for me and all those nonsense! When finally he told me that he has read what I have written down about the man I used to be in love before, I think he got jealous and hurt. That was my past relationship, but you know when you wrote something deep, it would leave a big impression to the other person who read it. I cried and I told him that it was only meant for me to read. It was my past and he should not interfere! Things got better after a while. So, if I were in your situation, I would understand why you were angry. I was real mad, too and hurt, but we have worked things out. So, just talk to him and share this story with him. All the best!!!
@schentil (98)
• India
28 Sep 09
hi, it does not matter if you have anything to hide from your girlfriend. As far as I am concerned, there is nothing in the world that I do not want to share with my girlfriend. Please do not scold her for reading your diary. Not for anything if your girlfriend is loyal to you. I will not take it serious because I would have given her my diary myself if she had asked me.
1 person likes this
@iamfine (740)
• China
28 Sep 09
hello schentil, thank you for your kind words, firstly I am a girl, and the one who read my diary was my boyfriend, not my girlfriend. I did scold him for reading my diary, but when he show me his innocent face, I forgive him right away. I would rather believe him that he just read my diary by mistake, not intentionally.
@buping (952)
• China
28 Sep 09
hi, well i seldom write a diary. but my boyfriend always watch my text messages. for me, i do not mind him doing this. actually he likes to check my text message just to see that whether i am in close contact with other guys. i do not have, so i am not afraid of him to do so. and i never say bad words of him to friends. so nothing i need to hide.
1 person likes this
@iamfine (740)
• China
28 Sep 09
haha byping, thank you for your sharing, I can see that your boyfrind cares about you a lot! good luck!