A guide to accepting Friend Requests
By jellymonty
@jellymonty (2352)
October 4, 2009 3:34pm CST
Currently I have about 153 friend requests and it's very annoying that almost all of them are time wasters. So I just thought I'd help you guys that are suffering the same sting as me... getting friend requests from time wasters. 
Remember this is from my experience here so if am wrong, correct me. I am not in anyway being snobish or anything like that. I am not attacking anyone, as you all know that even in the real world it's important to choose your friends wisely. I only wish to help those people too who have the same trouble as me. So here's a guide that helps me choose friends wisely.
1) If they have less than a 100 posts deny straight away without bothering looking at their profile as most of them are spammers and time wasters. Exception to this rule is if that person has responded to your discussion, or they seem to be an active participant, but wait till their posts reach 100 before you accept. I use 100 because I know you need to be on mylot for a while before you can achieve 100 posts.
2) Look at their profile. If they share the same interests with you and have the same friends as yours, chances are this person is legit.
3) Look at when they joined versus how active they are. I get those that have been members for three years but only have less than 100 posts.. Some have only 1 post and yet they joined three years ago.. those are inactive time wasters as well.
4) Look at the type of discussions they start. If they constantly are just posting in the make money topics these are spammers and referral wolves who just want to trick you into signing up to some rubbish ptc site or something like that.
5) If they have no avatar (no photo or picture) Chances are they are either inactive or these are sort of people who start one line discussions and not very active participants. They are only here like once every three months or something.
Hope this helps. 
By the way does anyone know how I can delete friends? I'm rearranging my friends list but I don't know how to delete friends. I have a couple of friends who have sadly been banned from mylot so I just want to have an updated friends list. Would appreciate any help.
Remember this is from my experience here so if am wrong, correct me. I am not in anyway being snobish or anything like that. I am not attacking anyone, as you all know that even in the real world it's important to choose your friends wisely. I only wish to help those people too who have the same trouble as me. So here's a guide that helps me choose friends wisely.
1) If they have less than a 100 posts deny straight away without bothering looking at their profile as most of them are spammers and time wasters. Exception to this rule is if that person has responded to your discussion, or they seem to be an active participant, but wait till their posts reach 100 before you accept. I use 100 because I know you need to be on mylot for a while before you can achieve 100 posts.
2) Look at their profile. If they share the same interests with you and have the same friends as yours, chances are this person is legit.
3) Look at when they joined versus how active they are. I get those that have been members for three years but only have less than 100 posts.. Some have only 1 post and yet they joined three years ago.. those are inactive time wasters as well.
4) Look at the type of discussions they start. If they constantly are just posting in the make money topics these are spammers and referral wolves who just want to trick you into signing up to some rubbish ptc site or something like that.
5) If they have no avatar (no photo or picture) Chances are they are either inactive or these are sort of people who start one line discussions and not very active participants. They are only here like once every three months or something.
Hope this helps.
By the way does anyone know how I can delete friends? I'm rearranging my friends list but I don't know how to delete friends. I have a couple of friends who have sadly been banned from mylot so I just want to have an updated friends list. Would appreciate any help.7 people like this
20 responses
@sulsisels (1685)
• United States
5 Oct 09
Good God,,,this is serious stuff, no?? I'll never request a friend again,,,had no idea there is "so much to it"..I thought this was a site to have fun at,,not stress out like I am now..
3 people like this
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
5 Oct 09
LOL this IS a fun site and those were only suggestions not rules. Each one of us has their own way of dealing with friend requests here and those tips were intended as help for those in doubt.
Please don't get hot under the collar about them 
3 people like this
@sulsisels (1685)
• United States
8 Oct 09
Hot under the collar???...noooooo you've got the wrong girl,I found the whole thing very amusing and hard to believe how serious SOME take all this..The day I let a web site upset me is the day I throw my computer away..believe that..also the day I judge people by how many posts they have (was she never new or did she magically enter the site with 1k posts??) would be a day full of shame.
1 person likes this
@aylim14 (501)
• Philippines
5 Oct 09
hey that hurts. i do not have an avatar, but i am active. well, except for the first two months because back then, i did not knew what mylot is and how great it is. Plus, i haven't reached 100 posts, but that excludes replies to my own discussions and i do regularly reply and to almost everyone too. In addition, i do not spam nor just repeat whatever i say, in essence, a bit, but unlike the one which i responded too. The person's reply to everyone to the posts were 5 words, ellipses, 2 spaces, 5 words, ellipses, etc. I mean, just to get that many lines and words, doesn't even read the comments. the person just posts away. I think his posts are already 300-400. anyways, thanks for the info about adding friends. will probably use it, but only to a certain point. ;)
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
5 Oct 09
The tips posted in this topic are only advice posted by the user. You know very well that not all Lotters act in the same way. Personally if I see brand new users who are really trying their hardest to join in then I request them or accept if they send the request before I get round to doing so. We need the new users just as much as they need the oldies
2 people like this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
5 Oct 09
Your opinion is workable and should be kept in view. I have no guidelines to follow when I open my gate to friendships. For this reason my list is crowded by fence sitters who are only there as decorative accessories. 
. I even have people with zero by the sides of their names and don't know why they are still dormant after so long in mylot. But we have to give chances to the newbies otherwise they will not know where to begin. They need people like us who are seasoned players here to guide them in their journey to establish themselves here. Everyone of us starts from zero and by not giving them chance to rub shoulders with us more veterans mylotters, how do you expect them to progress?
. I even have people with zero by the sides of their names and don't know why they are still dormant after so long in mylot. But we have to give chances to the newbies otherwise they will not know where to begin. They need people like us who are seasoned players here to guide them in their journey to establish themselves here. Everyone of us starts from zero and by not giving them chance to rub shoulders with us more veterans mylotters, how do you expect them to progress? 2 people like this
@richiem (3644)
• Philippines
5 Oct 09
I accept every friend request I get. In my mor than one year stay here in mylot, I have never rejected a friend request.
Why bother denying them? Accepting them as friends doesn't mean I will always be responding to their discussions and that I will always be replying to their messages. I am not subscribe to any of my friends discussions (by email).
No matter what their reason for adding me as a friend, it should be something more than "I'll add you because you suck!" reason.
3 people like this
@Iriene88 (5343)
• Malaysia
5 Oct 09
Dear jellymonty,
After reading your topic of discussion, I immediately went
to your profile & check...Bad News, they put there 'add as friend'!
This means, I missed the boat, it is tougher to be your friend
now as you has set a strict criteria. Hahaha, just joking
Btw, I had response to your discussion on the hottest topic
yesterday on earning USD30 for task! I think we had met a couple
of times at other topic of discussion too.
I do ended up with many unactive friends in my list. Anyway, I
just assumed that they are busy elsewhere or as 'casual' friends.
But many are really wonderful myLotters and I truly appreciate them
being my friends. I do add new comers as an encouragement and guide
them too.
All the best & happy myLotting. Do I have a chance to be your friend?
Btw, I had response to your discussion on the hottest topic
yesterday on earning USD30 for task! I think we had met a couple
of times at other topic of discussion too.
I do ended up with many unactive friends in my list. Anyway, I
just assumed that they are busy elsewhere or as 'casual' friends.
But many are really wonderful myLotters and I truly appreciate them
being my friends. I do add new comers as an encouragement and guide
them too.
All the best & happy myLotting. Do I have a chance to be your friend?
3 people like this
@irefed (200)
• Philippines
5 Oct 09
Really? I recently join this site and I still few friends. I wasn't give to much time to gain more friends or invite friends, I just confirm invitation because that way they find me interesting for their posted discussions. I always look forward to post discussions and respond to discussions which in return I learn from the response and share my knowledge.
3 people like this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
9 Oct 09
Hi Jelly!
It sounds unbelievable to me that you have more than 150 requests pending with you, when you wrote this discussion. Your guide appears very handy and meaningful. I do not receive too many requests, however I am also of the view that someone with less than 100 posts could be ignored, provided s/he is found participating in your discussions and s/he starts quality discussions. Mysdiana has taught you the method to delete friends, you can review your list periodically and 'delete' those who are inactive for a very long time, I do the same.
I have read some of your discussions and found these posts interesting.
I am sending you a request for add (may be I am 154th place......LOL!
Please accept the same.
dpk
I am sending you a request for add (may be I am 154th place......LOL!
Please accept the same.
dpk
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
10 Oct 09
Hi Jelly!
Let me assure that I'll be last person in this world to spam you. You can trust me on this account, blindly.
Please do not say that you are boring, there may be hundreds who just do not match your level.......
I believe that you are a funny, humorous, jovial and strait forward person.
I must thank my stars and to you too that despite at number 186, I was given an opportunity to be in list of your friends.
dpk
!
I believe that you are a funny, humorous, jovial and strait forward person.
I must thank my stars and to you too that despite at number 186, I was given an opportunity to be in list of your friends.
dpk
!@jellymonty (2352)
•
9 Oct 09
No worries I'll add you as log as you don't spam me..
I too find it unbelievable that people request me as am the most boring person on the planet.. and funny after i made this post I recived an additional 20 requests.. and just today I recived about 12 more requests so that makes you 186th place
I too find it unbelievable that people request me as am the most boring person on the planet.. and funny after i made this post I recived an additional 20 requests.. and just today I recived about 12 more requests so that makes you 186th place
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
4 Oct 09
This is good advice. I had so many built up and I just was not finding the time to go and check each one out like I like to do. I just kind of got tired of them all sitting there so I just went through a couple of days ago and accepted them all. I figure if they are inactive I won't see anything from them anyways, and therefore won't have to bother. I will also quickly learn who is just out to get referals and then I just won't go to their stuff any more. But the requests seem to add up pretty quickly, I am going to try and manage them better next time around.
2 people like this
@thea09 (18305)
• Greece
4 Oct 09
I'm with you on this one Jellymonty as I like to have a feel for the people I interact with. I broke the under 100 rule a bit when someone obviously stands out. The ones that get me though sitting in my waiting list are the ones with posts by their names who I have never come across before and I have to think why? These days I'd rather ask than be asked. The main thing I look for though is if they respond to their own discussions, if they don't then I don't want to know.
We all do it differently and I do cull regualarly if I don't meet someone or their discussions are boring but for me I like to be able to remember something individual about each friend and not just see a name on a list.
1 person likes this
@jellymonty (2352)
•
4 Oct 09
I did forget to add the rule that if they don't respond to their discussions as well. Thanks for reminding me that
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
5 Oct 09
You go to "My Friends" and there is a delete icon that is how you delete a friend.
2 people like this
@sharlionse (739)
• Philippines
5 Oct 09
hi! I don't have an avatar though but i think i am not one of those you don't like. Its just that some are not so interested in posting avatars or photos.
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
5 Oct 09
Some do not even know how to post one.
It is nice to see each user with an individual personal avatar but I do not make that a rule for not accepting a new friend. I do not avoid new users who are obviously trying hard either.
Welcome to myLot and, as I have seen you on another topic where I was too, please accept my FR
2 people like this
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
5 Oct 09
The only thing that I almost want to question about the guidelines that you've created is the 100 posts one. We were all new here once and we did have to work for a while before we had that first hundred posts, but we are also real people that are here to make new friends. The other one that I question is the avatar requirement. Had it not been for the fact that I am on several other forums, I wouldn't have known how to create an avatar for myself.
That said, I have noticed in the last couple of weeks that I've had a lot of friend requests from people that are very new and whom I've not participated in discussions with and I too am hesitant to allow them as a friend.
2 people like this
@sunny400611 (256)
• China
5 Oct 09
Thanks to share your experience with me,jellymonty,I believe you experience a lot in frend rquest so you have such a srong feling,maybe I will take part of your suggestions so that I will not repeat the situation you ever met.And thanks agian,you ar kind hearted to do so ,don't be afraid people give correct you or disagree with you,it's right and important to share your opinions here because that's why mylot gets together people here.
1 person likes this
@hexeduser22 (7253)
• Philippines
5 Oct 09
I don't know but my friends here don't disturb me or should I say waste my time. I just accept any FR's and if they annoy, sending messages of referral links, me I simply delete them. I won't be establishing some do's and don'ts that in some way would be harsh for the new comers but I agree that is opinion and your basis is your own experience. It really depends from person to person on how they manage their friends. Have a great time. Happy Mylotting:)
2 people like this
@hexeduser22 (7253)
• Philippines
5 Oct 09
it should be "your opinion" my bad sorry for that
1 person likes this
@flagella08 (5065)
• Philippines
5 Oct 09
well you can always clean your friends panel by pressing the delete button beside the names. i also have lots of friends but not really the real ones.im referring to the inactive and those that i wasn't reall happen to stumble upon. yes, you have a point there.it's also a watse of time deleting them. i make it sure that i won't readily accept all the people that is requesting to be my friend. i'll check if his active or not first.
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
2 Nov 09
I agree with all except the first and last ones. Just b/c someone has less then a hundred posts doesn't automatically mean they should be denied. A lot of newbies are looking to just start out and need a helping hand. I go by the rule of giving most everyone at least a chance...if it doesn't work out, I can always delete them. The second thing is the avatar. I know several members who have been here for ages that still have the green man, they either don't know how to change it or don't want to bother with it. Again it doesn't mean they should be denied b/c of it. Otherwise your advice is sound.
[b]!!Happy Turkey Day!!
~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~
**STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]
@xannebull (1793)
• Philippines
5 Oct 09
thank you very much for the tips, i have lots of friends too that are inactive for months, but i don't deleted them, i just ignored them by the way. we do the same, if somebody asked me for friend request, i just checked their profiles first.
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
5 Oct 09
hello Jelly MONTY,
THat's exactly what i do. for now, i have actually thirty pending friends-request from these users who have less than a hundred post. come to think of it i may have to start deleting them now since some are not that active being in this site. some are active but to the point of being active in their response or comments. just like my referrals.
@purplealabaster (22094)
• United States
4 Oct 09
I don't generally send out friend requests. I guess it is for fear of people rejecting them because I am new or uninteresting or whatever.
I have only rejected one friend request, and that was recently. I always accepted all friend requests, but then after talking with some very wise people on here, I did start looking at profiles if I didn't recognize the person requesting the friendship. I am glad that I looked, because the only posts this person did were in the "make money" section, and he or she seemed to be a spammer. That is not saying that all people that post most of their discussions there are spammers, but from the couple responses I read he or she was blatantly violating TOS by asking for a friend add so they could PM people.
I don't know whether or not I'm a "time waster", but I do like to have fun on here. So, do you have any more of those brownies, since you ran off with my rum and chocolate cake during our last encounter?
I have only rejected one friend request, and that was recently. I always accepted all friend requests, but then after talking with some very wise people on here, I did start looking at profiles if I didn't recognize the person requesting the friendship. I am glad that I looked, because the only posts this person did were in the "make money" section, and he or she seemed to be a spammer. That is not saying that all people that post most of their discussions there are spammers, but from the couple responses I read he or she was blatantly violating TOS by asking for a friend add so they could PM people.
I don't know whether or not I'm a "time waster", but I do like to have fun on here. So, do you have any more of those brownies, since you ran off with my rum and chocolate cake during our last encounter? @mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
4 Oct 09
Once he gets up he seems to have difficulty staying there of late
1 person likes this
@purplealabaster (22094)
• United States
4 Oct 09
You can be on top this time, Dogg, but don't think you are going to make a habit of it.
@purplealabaster (22094)
• United States
4 Oct 09
I don't know, his rating has stayed up for a couple of days, of course that could be due to the fact that we haven't seen hide nor tail of him for a couple of days.
@creator3001 (38)
•
5 Oct 09
thank you for the tips.We can actually delete friends anytime..but your tips was still helpful.
1 person likes this
