Is it a mistake to fall in love to your bestfriend?

Philippines
October 20, 2009 3:27am CST
Friends are friends? Lovers are lovers? Friends could never be lovers?
1 person likes this
20 responses
@hagirl (1296)
• United States
21 Oct 09
Ironically that is how I met my husband now. His girlfriend at the time had a daughter. Her daughter was cheating with my ex husband. They would all go out to bars together except for me and of course my husband now. My husband and I would talk for hours crying, whining, and of course thinking about what our mates were doing at the bars. We went on like this for a year. My husband now was friends with my ex so I learned alot, as I told him alot that my ex told me about his woman. It just grew into a long and lasting friendship. We never talked about us getting together. We just talked as friends. It was our way of getting through the troubles we were having in our relationships at the time. His was my very best friend and I was his. We told each other everything. All our thoughts and fears at the time. When he broke up with his girlfriend and I asked for my divorce we already knew what kind of people we were as far as integrity and trust as companions. We both went through alot, but we never cheated on the ones that were doing us wrong. That is what we both wanted in our relationship. After both break-ups we just came together and it stuck like glue. It was what both of us was looking for in mates. I wanted someone who would not hit or cheat on me. And he wanted someone who would not cheat or lie. We have given us to each other every since. I wish we could have met sooner. We wasted so much time on people that did not care or love us. Now we have both with each other.
• Philippines
23 Oct 09
That's a very heartwarming story. In my opinion, what happened to the both of you is a blessing in disguise. I am so happy for you. May you have the joy of friendship and romance forever. You deserve each other as friends and as lovers. I'm proud of you guys.
@hagirl (1296)
• United States
23 Oct 09
I think so I hope everyone has as much luck as I have to find a good friend and lover. You know they say your mate should be your bestfriend. Who cares which one come first the friend or lover? What is important is that it exist in someones relationship
• Philippines
20 Oct 09
We all know its not a mistake. In fact, most lovers started as friends. In special cases, like if its your bestfriend, its never a hindrance to a good romantic relationship. Although, you have to overcome many aspects with regards to handling the relationship correctly, since the times spent when you were best friends are not the same as while you are lovers.
• Philippines
20 Oct 09
But what if you're a bit shy to kiss or to do other romantic things because you have this notion that... you're actually friends?
• Philippines
20 Oct 09
That is one thing you have to overcome, and I believe that in time, you will get over those feelings of shyness. Even just by doing nothing about it, time will set its course and fix your flaws. Just enjoy being lovers and sooner or later your romantic bond will come out and grow naturally.
@lzjilbb (425)
• China
20 Oct 09
Love is love. It's just saperate with the relationship of friends. You are fully accepted to fall in love with your bestfriends. Actually, there is another opinion that there is no pure friendship between a man and a woman. There is always at least a slight sence of love.
• Philippines
20 Oct 09
I believe there is, yes. But, Is friendship more powerful than romantic love?
• United States
26 Oct 09
Well I don't know. I have a best friend who is male and I lov e him but not romantically. I have another friend who fell for his best friend .They stayed together for years . he said he felt so lucky to fall for his best friend. But now they have split and he is in a bad way. I could never think about being without my best friend. He knows me better than anyone will ever know me. Romantic love seems fleeting but a true friendship is forever.
@andy77e (5161)
• United States
25 Oct 09
I read a book by a man who was friends with his wife, for 5 years before he ever started thinking a romantic thought about her. They both had a few dates here and there with other people, but never once thought of each other. Then one day, he was stopping by her house while on break from college, and light came on. He realized their friendship was so simple, yet pure, and they knew each other so well... They started dating the next month, engaged the next year, and have been married for 20 years now. There are two Asian people where I work. They are married, and have been for more than 15 years. I hate to say it, but I am slightly envious of them. They talk, they chat, they tease each other, they eat together, they work together. Yesterday, I saw the guy had left a note on the woman's locker door with some Laotian text, and little hearts. Imagine being married 15 years and still leaving little love notes on your spouses locker. They are best friends. Here's my take. 'Lovers' is a shallow thing. That's two people using each other. You make me feel good. I make you feel good. And we'll both feel good until one or the other stops making the other feel good. Then we break up. Start all over again with someone else, and use each other until that falls off, and break up. Repeat and repeat. Why? Because being a lover is easy. Girls in brothels can be lovers for a night, if you have the money. So anyone can be a lover. Best friends is much harder. Much deeper. Much better. If you can be best friends, and know each other that well, and build a relationship on that solid foundation, then if there is a spark of romance, why not? Alternatively, when you are not best friends to begin with, if you jump into the shallow 'lover' waters, it's funny how when that breaks up, you end up hating each other. Actually that's normal, since you were not really best friends to begin with. I met a guy long time ago that was best friends with a girl, and they thought maybe there was some romance there. But in the end, it turned out not to be, but they were still best friends. Why? Because they were friends to start with. No it didn't end up being romantic, but they still trusted each other, so neither felt used. So yes I think finding a mate with someone your best friends with, is entirely possible. Now, just so you know, there are reserved ways to go about it. I wouldn't spring on a really good friend "hey let's go crazy!" or something. Might scare the other person off if they are not interest. But I most certainly wouldn't go the other way, and eliminate the possibility either. And whoever you marry, had better become your best friend quickly, if they are not to begin with. I think romantic relationships are automatically doomed if you are not best friends at some point.
@GaryJoule (216)
• China
22 Oct 09
Fall in love, then you are. how could falling in love is a mistake? How can you prevent you loving someone? If you fall in love, congratulations, move on...
• China
22 Oct 09
There is no mistake in falling in love.Naturally to be lover is from friends.But it is important for friends to distinguish the feeling of friendship and love before expressing or making decision.
@sunkha (13)
• Bangladesh
21 Oct 09
yes it is a mistake to fall in love to your best friend.that is because your friend may not love you that way.its very panic for both. you love your best friend but your friend don't.friend can good partner and could be lover. if there is friendship there is understanding and without understanding love can't stay long
@minnie15 (145)
• United States
21 Oct 09
I would say no. I fell in love with my best frient 12 years ago. We have been married for 6 years and have a beautiful 3 year old. If it is meant to be, it will be.
• United States
20 Oct 09
Hi jabrica! I think that you should listen to your heart! In order to be a good lover, you must be goof friends with your partner... So just listen to your heart! I personally never made the transition from friends to loves, I always say once a friend always a friend... But who knows, what the future brings!
• Las Pinas City, Philippines
20 Oct 09
it is never at all a mistake to fall in love with your friend especially with your bestfriend. since relationships that were started from friendship is much far away better than an instant one. why? because you know and understand each other well already. and i do believe that if you want your relationship as a couple to grow deeper and stronger then you must be bestfriends because if there is friendship between your relationship, you are both open to each other. isn't it that if we want to confide something to somebody, our first step is our bestfriend?
• Lithuania
20 Oct 09
It is very interesting to have many friends around you..girls and boys.. especually for me..girls.. This kind of situation for me is very familiar..:) i have to friends that are real friends but they are girls.. :) our friendship lasts already for 4 yeaers with each of them.. :) and you know there is slight of little bit love to them but it is only friendship love.. I know that i would not like to make them my girl friends.. so i belive that friendship between boy and girl exists.. and iti is true.. :) Also i had an example in ma life when my one of the best girl friends became my real girl friend.. :) you never know when the passion of love get ya :D when at the moment you start to see strange things, feelings , atention from her sight.. :)and dont panic , if you see passion in his or hers eyes, you know when it time to kiss :D peazz!
@ericaldo (35)
• Indonesia
20 Oct 09
There is no harm in falling in love with a bestfriend. In fact, much better, because we've known each other merits of our bestfriends.
• India
20 Oct 09
falling in love is never a mistake
@getbrowser (1715)
• China
20 Oct 09
Nothing wrong with that. From where I stand, you'd find out whether he feels the same way about you. Sometimes, its may be just something one sided. Friends are friends. But usually good friendships especially with members of the opposite gender, often lead to stronger feelings. At the same time, he is your best friend and he can understand you better than anyone else. If you are really falling in love to your friend, don't worry, that is very common.
• China
20 Oct 09
it's not a mistake,it's just a kind of feeling,sometimes we can't control it,if you sure you have fallen in love with your bestfriend,just chase after her or him,i support u!
@subha12 (18449)
• India
20 Oct 09
love comes in more unexpected way. it is not at all fault to fall in love with best friend. Rather it is seen as most firm bond of love as you are already used to each other as friend and there are ease.
• India
20 Oct 09
You are expecting your lover to be very friendly with you then why cant your friend can be your lover? Is there any limitations or rules. If both are interested then surely a friend can became a lover.
@athomice (396)
• Philippines
20 Oct 09
There's nothing wrong about that. There's a big risk in this matter, friendship can be ruin. A lot of story like these end up in a wrong way but there are few who succeeded. I hope and pray if you decide to pursue it you will be one of the fortunate. And if the situation reverses I pray the friendship will still go on. God Bless!
• India
20 Oct 09
hi...there is no such rule dat v sholudn fall in love with our friends itself... as i say love is blind or love makes us blind,love can happen with anybody.... so its not a mistake to fall in love...but there might be some risks lik if v tel that person that v love them den sometimes v might lose that friend also...if u really love that person den don tink dat jus move on...!!!!have a nice day !!!!