Thanksgiving
By cyrus123
@cyrus123 (6363)
United States
November 20, 2009 11:55pm CST
I would like to know what everybody's plans for Thanksgiving are. What are the things youall normally do every Thanksgiving? I usually get together with my sister and her family who lives up the road from me. That is, unless they have other plans or if she's not feeling up to it. She does have a lot of health problems and I wish she wouldn't go to the trouble. However, I don't like to celebrate by myself. Family has always been important to me and holidays are days when families should get together. My niece (her daughter) always comes home from Tennessee at this time and it's about the only time I get to see her. Also, my nephew and his wife (their son and dil) sometimes come from Georgia and they bring their little boy with them. It's about the only time I get to see them, too, and their little boy is so cute. He would be about 7 years old now. When I talked to my sister not too long ago, she said I was invited and I said I would come. I really don't want to go because she and her husband are always fussing whenever I'm around them and sometimes he gets ugly with me even. I told her one time about two years ago that I didn't want to come and it seemed like it hurt her feelings. I told her the reason why, too. I started out by telling her that I didn't want to hurt her feelings but I just got sick of my bil's attitude. She just said there wasn't anything she could do. He doesn't pay her any attention. Also, her son and his wife are always late getting there and I get so tired of this. They have three little dogs they keep in the house and they're nearly always constantly barking. There's always so much mass confusion going on until it's not very enjoyable. The food is always good at least. What would youall do if youall were in this situation? Btw, the year I told her I didn't want to come, I ended up going after all because I felt like I had hurt her feelings. She doesn't like for me to say anything against her husband but if she says anything, it's different. Kathy.
3 people like this
11 responses
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
21 Nov 09
Personally I think life is too short to spend it putting up with annoying people, especially when they have annoying kids and/or annoying animals. I don't like big holiday dinner type events, although it seems most people do. The bickering issue is one reason I prefer to have people get together at a restaurant than at somebody's home. It sort of levels the playing field. When we are guests in someone's home it is sort of hard to tell them they are acting like jerks. At the restaurant you can at least say, "C'mon we are in a public place."
2 people like this
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
22 Nov 09
Hi drannhh: i agree with you, it's better to have a short reunion and not a big one in your house. I love to make it a personal ocassion ahich means that it's better to invite only those who you really know and those persons you're sure to share you're feelings about everything in a special moment as this is. Thanks for your answe. Have a nice day.
1 person likes this
@cyrus123 (6363)
• United States
22 Nov 09
I enjoy holiday dinners, myself. It hasn't always been this way, though. My bil used to be pretty pleasant when both of my parents were living. What it is, he owns the shopping centers that my daddy owned and he has a lot of problems now. You would think he would at least try to forget them for one day. I try to ignore him the best I can but it's hard. Like I've been telling some other mylotters here, I can laugh him off when I get to thinking about it later. I can't explain what's so funny about it unless it's the ridiculousness of the situation. He is so childish! Thank you for responding. Kathy.
@quita88 (3715)
• United States
22 Nov 09
It's Thanksgiving for crying out loud. One day out of the year shouldn't kill you.
People do weird things and i am sure you do even weirder things LOL
We all have our idiocencrecies and just go and enjoy !
Ignore the dogs, the mass confusion and try to have a good time.
I go tomorrow to my aunts and dont' really want to but won't have to stay long and it's only for a few hours.
Then on the T.day itself, it's hubby and me only--
Sat after, it's my sone and three grandsons, with a fried turkey, ham and all the rest.
It's all a pain in the old butt, but so what? it is T. Day, enjoy !
@cyrus123 (6363)
• United States
22 Nov 09
I don't always expect things to be perfect but it's hard to enjoy the holidays when somebody is in a bad mood and especially if he jumps on you. I've always been a little too sensitive, anyway. I feel so sorry for my sister because she's not feeling good to begin with most of the time and she has to put up with him treating her like a dog. The funny thing about it is when I get to thinking about it later, I can always laugh him off. I can't explain what's so funny about it unless it's the ridiculousness of the situation. My bil is so childish. It's not only on Thanksgiving when he's like this but he's the same on Christmas, too. My sister calls him Scrooge, LOL
. I don't know if I'll get together with them on Christmas this year or not. It's getting to the point now where we all get together on one of the holidays now due to her health problems.
How are Bud and Ed doing these days? Please know that I have been praying for them. Kathy.
. I don't know if I'll get together with them on Christmas this year or not. It's getting to the point now where we all get together on one of the holidays now due to her health problems.
How are Bud and Ed doing these days? Please know that I have been praying for them. Kathy.@quita88 (3715)
• United States
23 Nov 09
I really do understand where you are coming from on this, but your sister needs you.
Like I said, it's only one day and if Christmas doesn't suit you, bow out gracefully and let your sister know you love her but have a previous engagement.
I had T.day today that I wish I had not gone to, but glad I did.
It's a long story and I felt like a fifth wheel and tho I am a part of the family noone really knew who I was--
But, went and did my "dues" and got home only to find out my sone will be here the Sat after T.day for our day :)
LIfe does have it's good parts too.
And, Bud is doing fair. The top part of his heart is not working yet and they are going to have to shock it back to life------or do a pacemaker--
ED, well, he went thru a horrible surgery and is hard headed enough to think he can be up and about--he does have a horrible cancer in his mouth and it is not draining like the drs want it to--
he will be taking treatments but they have not decided whether chemo or radioation is best.
Thanks for your prayers and if you can keep them up cuz they are needed,
God bless and take care of your sister.
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
21 Nov 09
Of course she can say anythings she wants about her hubby but no one else better lol
thats the way it is.
I usually smoke a Turkety a pork shouler and corn sweet taters for thanksgiving but not his year got here to soon! and we didnt buy things earlyto go in the freezer to do it.
So not sure what to do might get a ham and bake it.
or if my hopes come up Son will invite us there this year lol
1 person likes this
@cyrus123 (6363)
• United States
22 Nov 09
The strange thing about it is, I have told her in the past about how he treats me and she didn't get upset. One time she got mad, though, so I haven't said anything since unless I start off by saying I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I mostly just try to ignore him. It's hard, though. The funny thing about it is when I get to thinking about it later, I get so tickled. He's so childish and it's ridiculous the way he acts. He has a lot of problems. I'm just glad I can laugh him off. Kathy.
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
23 Nov 09
I will be attending Thanksgiving at my second oldest nephew and wife'e home. It is like a 2 hour drive from where I live. Besides myself, my sister,her boyfriend,my dad,his girlfriend,my two brothers,their wifes,my 2 nieces,my oldest nephew with hiswife their 2 sons and another nephew will all ba attending! In my family we never go to the same place every year! We switch places and I never will have Thanksgiving at my place! I am not married or have a boyfriend! I live alone and my place won't hold my family! That is fine with me! I don't see my whole family alot together so I 'm looking forword to Thursday!
@amybrezik (2118)
• United States
22 Nov 09
I used to spend it with my extended family. However, last year and this year, my best friend and I are just making Thanksgiving for the two of us. We will eat and watch tv shows (no football thank God) and we will just relax all day. It is sooo nice. There is no drama in that. No discussion of where or when. We do what we want and it's very relaxing. We will probably go shopping on black friday, but it will be just us. Sadly enough leaving the families out of it is part of what makes it great. I do wish that my kids would be with us rather then with their father though.
1 person likes this
@cyrus123 (6363)
• United States
24 Nov 09
I don't blame you. I don't care to watch football, either. I do like to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade every year, though. I have done this just about every year for as long as I can remember. I played in the band when I was in high school and I used to wish we were up there in NYC marching with them. It sounds like you really have a relaxing day and that's very nice. Have a good one! Kathy.
@metalsolid86 (431)
• United States
22 Nov 09
Well we were suppose to go down to Massachusets for thanks giving to spend it with my moms side of the family but I guess she changed the plans and we are having thanks giving at our house with my dads side of the family which I prefer because I don't want to have to drive down to massachusets not that driving down there is a big deal but driving back is especially when I'm tired because of all the food.
1 person likes this
@cyrus123 (6363)
• United States
24 Nov 09
I know what you mean about feeling tired after all the food, lol. I exercise a lot and that helps me with the tired feeling. Somebody told me years ago that if you drink a lot of water after eating a heavy meal, that will help with the bloated feeling. I've done that and I think it helps. I hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving. Kathy.
. I exercise a lot and that helps me with the tired feeling. Somebody told me years ago that if you drink a lot of water after eating a heavy meal, that will help with the bloated feeling. I've done that and I think it helps. I hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving. Kathy.
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
21 Nov 09
Dear Kath..these are one of those "familial obligatory times" that we must fulfill,and really wish we could turn things around, and give the holiday it's due...LIKE being "thankful." Where things get skewed, I will never know! I had to have a long talk with myself (yes, to me) so that I got things into focus, as to what we are all gathered for! I now, don't react to contemptous situations, do not allow myself to get drawn into contraversy...and try to be the catalyst to divert these kinds of situations! It is potentially draining...but Kath, I walk away, knowing I have fulfilled my obligations...I have made the BEST I could of the gathering, and hopefully added to others enjoyments! Knowing that I had not added any fuel to any fire...and sometimes, you will be surprised that by just ONE taking the path of least resistance, how others will step up to the plate, too! Your "bil" is doing this, because he can...and gets away with it! Ignoring him has major benefits, when he finds he cannot stir the pot! Think of all the benefits, of seeing those you love....and YOU enjoy this time! Cheers..and Happy Thanksgiving...our Canadian one was over a month ago!
1 person likes this
@cyrus123 (6363)
• United States
22 Nov 09
Thank you for responding. My bil has a lot of problems but you would think he would try to forget them for one day. He needs to realize that other people have problems, too. I try to ignore him the best I can but it's hard. I feel so sorry for my sister because she's not feeling good to begin with and he treats her so awful. She gets pretty upset by it, too. The funny thing about it is I can always laugh him off when I get to thinking about it later. I can't explain what's so funny about it unless it's the ridiculousness of the situation. He is so childish! He's the same way on Christmas, too, and my sister always calls him Scrooge, LOL. Kathy.
. Kathy.
@cyrus123 (6363)
• United States
22 Nov 09
Last year, I ate out by myself because my sister and bil were going out of town. It's something I've had to put up with every year pretty much, though. He has a lot of problems but you would think he would try to forget about them for one day. I try to ignore him but it is hard. The funny thing about it is, I can laugh him off when I get to thinking about it later. He's just so silly! I can't explain why it is I get so tickled unless it's just the ridiculousness of the situation. I hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving. Kathy.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
21 Nov 09
I can certainly see why u wouldn't want to go w/your bil acting like an a$$. U would think he could behave at least for one day but don't guess he will. I have a solution for you, i'm cooking so u can just come on up & be in my 3 ring circus. lol. We want be fussing, i hope.
1 person likes this
@cyrus123 (6363)
• United States
22 Nov 09
He has a lot of problems. You would think he would try not to think about them for one day, though. He has always been a minute man and I try to be on time for this reason. He just rants and raves because my nephew and his wife are always late. My sister told me one time that their dil didn't like to come. She said she didn't know why unless it was because of the way my bil acts. The funny thing about it is I can always laugh him off when I get to thinking about it later. I can't explain why it is I get so tickled unless it's the ridiculousness of the situation. He is so childish. Thank you for the invitation. I'm sure it will be a lot more fun eating with you and your family, lol. Kathy.
. Kathy.
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
22 Nov 09
Hey Kathy! Well, I'm glad that you won't be alone for Thanksgiving!
I have spent many of my Thanksgiving's alone, but I really didn't
care because I still cooked a big fat old turkey for me and my
cats! I didn't care because I love turkey and so did the cats!
But, now the kittys I have don't really care if they have turkey
or not! Luna will eat some, but Star rather have his "cat turkey"!
This year it will be me, my boyfriend and one of my girlfriends.
Lately it varies which one of my girlfriends is left not having
somewhere to be so I always end up having someone over! I want
to wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving in case I don't get the
chance! Enjoy your family and all the wonderful food! Me, by
the time I'm finished cooking all day I can't even look at the
bird until the next day!lol
1 person likes this
@cyrus123 (6363)
• United States
22 Nov 09
I went out to eat by myself for Thanksgiving last year but I didn't care. It was because my sister and bil went out of town. It beats putting up with my bil the way he acts. I told my sister I was coming, anyway, because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I try to ignore my bil most of the time but it's hard. The funny thing about it is I can always laugh him off when I get to thinking about it later. He's just so childish! I can't explain why it's funny unless it's the ridiculousness of the situation. I hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving. Kathy.
@cynthiann (18612)
• Jamaica
21 Nov 09
She is your sister and they are all family. If it were me, then despite my personal feelings for the BIL I would go and be charming - just for my sister's sake. and especially f it is the only time I would see my Niece and Nephew with their families. Go, and take what enjoyment you can from being with them. do it because you love your sister - ther is nothing you can do to change the BIK - only he can change himself. Go and rejoice that you both are seeing in another Thanksgiving together. That is my advice and it is given in love.
1 person likes this
@cyrus123 (6363)
• United States
22 Nov 09
Thank you for your response. I'm planning on going, anyway. I just try to ignore him most of the time. It's hard, though. When I get to thinking about it later, it will hit me as funny. He is so childish the way he acts. It's really not funny but if you could just see how he acts, you might understand why I later get tickled thinking about it. It's just so ridiculous, in other words. I'm just glad I can laugh him off. Kathy.
