Somebody is messing with her Mind
By Gabs
@gabs8513 (48686)
United Kingdom
November 23, 2009 5:14pm CST
Tonight Gissi and I went to see the E (the Lady who has Alzheimer that we visit) andshe
was very happy to see us specially little Fellow as she adores him and he is good with her
We only visit her twicw a week, because I do not want her to get to used to every Day visits, because when I
move I will not be able to go and visit every Day, so we see her twicw a week so that when I do
move we will come and see her still twicw a week as I am able to drive we can come and ee her
Anyway, when I went to see her last week I took a little Present for her, I had made her a Calendar with Gissi
on, she loved it, she could not get over that I had done that for her, we put it on the Mantel Piece
She then made me a Coffee, we sat and talked, she told me that she is confused because she thought she had money
in her purse (she only ever keeps a fiver) but it was gone, so I asked her if she had been to the shop
she could not remember, it started to ring a few Alarm Bells, as I know recently her handbag went missing,
and could not be found, the Carer reported it to her Boss, who then phoned E's Daughter and the next Day
the Handbag was back, but someone had tried to take money from her account but not succeeded the Carer was with
E while phoning the Bank to cancel the Card
Then I went to see her last Friday and noticed the Calendar gone, when I mentioned it to E and asked her if she had
put it away she got confused, she searched everywhere and could not find it, I asked her to calm down
but she was so upset, I told her I would make her another one, which calmed her
Tonight, we where talking, and she was saying that Life is getting so expensive as she has spent more money
then usual, E does not go anywhere to spend Money, she only goes to the shop up the road
I will be trying to catch her Carer tomorrow and tell her about the ongoings including the Calendar
as someone is going into the House and we know they are as also 6 weeks ago 2 very expensive ornaments went missing, which
again was reported by the Carer to her boss, who again phoned the Daughter, the next Day they where back
E's Son in Law hates her and would do anything to get E locked up in a home and the suspicion is on him
He will ignore her in the Street, he has nothing to do with her what so ever,
I will try to catch her Carer tomorrow to let her know what E has told me, as it worries me
Yes she is Alzheimer, but it was the Carer who noticed the Ornaments gone, it was 2 Carers that searched the
House from top to bottom when E told her that the bag was missing
The Carers can only go in when they are let in and her regular Carer is a lovely Person, I know her
she really cares for E and gets upset when E gets upset
What do you think of all this and please no pointing the Finger at the Carer she has been looking after E
for 5 years now and this has only started from what I understand in the last 6 months
6 people like this
17 responses
@mcelhenney (481)
• United States
24 Nov 09
It seems obvious who the culprit might be..When the daughter is called miraculously the things reappear so evidently she knows how they came up missing..It is a shame that her son-in-law treats her the way he does..He should not be allowed to be around her..Bless you for being such a good friend to this lady..
@blackbriar (9075)
• United States
24 Nov 09
It sounds like maybe E would benefit from a live-in Caretaker instead of one who just comes for a few hours a day. This way, noone would be able to come in and steal her things to make it look like she 'misplaced' them. It could very well be her Son-in-law doing this to her being he has a motive. I pray they find out soon who the culprit really is, for her own sanity.
2 people like this
@SomeCowgirl (32189)
• United States
23 Nov 09
This is just terrible. No one should be messing with another person's mind, and this poor ederly lady doesn't deserve it at all. I was suspecting the daughter until you said something about the son in law. Either way, I would be wondering if maybe someone else could be the contact for "E" as it seems that the culprit isn't being caught if things are being returned as if "E" had lost her mind, though I wonder how whoever is doing this thinks he or she will get away with it what if the caregiver there, and the caregiver calling and scaling the house up and down to find whatever went missing!
Poor lady, I hope the culprit gets caught, it's not right to mess with anyone's mind like I said, but especially not your mother or mother in law!
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
23 Nov 09
Well the high suspicion is the Son in law, he makes no secret either of how much he hates her or what he thinks of her but it just seems strange specially with trying to pick her money up to from the Bank
I think there are Plans being made of trying to catch the Person who is doing this and I hope they do as they will throw her over the edge
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32189)
• United States
23 Nov 09
Sad that he makes no secret of it and it really makes me wonder about her daughter. You would think the daughter would be in on it if it is the son in law, or else she'd have told her mama or someone else that her husband is the culprit. Then again there's a chance she doesn't know either, but even so I do hope that they catch the person as you said their investigating.
1 person likes this
@rosepedal64 (4188)
• United States
23 Nov 09
oh my goodness gabs. This just isn't right at all. I think that maybe if they can afford to do so, is put up a hidden camera to where the carer can check it out from time to time. I know a family that had to do this. It ended up being their own grandson. He thought that with grandmother being in that kind of condition that she would never know tha it was gone. He's remark was she doesn't need the money anyways...Maybe you can suggest that they try and get a video camera to hide and see what happens.
Good luck to E
Have a nice day and keep smiling.
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
24 Nov 09
I do to as it makes me angry to see her so confused and upset
I have only been going to see her for 4 weeks now, I always used to see her in the Street and she would always fuss Gissi, then she asked me if I would bring the little Fellow to visit her and I did as I could see how happy it made her to see him, it is the first time I am around someone with this and it hurts me to see her like that but if little Gissi and visits can give her that bit of happiness then we will
@rosepedal64 (4188)
• United States
23 Nov 09
Oh that poor woman. It sounds like she is a sweet woman. I have never been around anyone that has that, but sometimes I wonder if I aint getting it. I know that I am only 45 but gesh..I forget things all the time..lol..I think it is very nice of you to go visit with her like you do. I really do hope that this taking things from her will stop. I wish her well.
1 person likes this
@rosepedal64 (4188)
• United States
24 Nov 09
gabs, that is ever so true. I don't have any illness but we don't get much company at all,but when I do it is really nice. Im glad that Gissi can give her some enjoyment for the day. You are a good friend to her. Have a nice day and keep smiling.
1 person likes this
@lovinangelsinstead21 (36847)
• Pamplona, Spain
23 Nov 09
Hi gabs,
What a sad story, hope they catch the person out who is causing her so much distress.
Alzheimers by itself causes so much suffering what a pity they don´t make more effort to eradicate this awful affliction.
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
24 Nov 09
Well I hope so to
To make it worse because the Carer reported the Incident the Social Worker came out to E and tried to suggest to putting her in a Home which distressed her even more but her Daughter said no so that is why the Daughter is not under suspicion as such
@lovinangelsinstead21 (36847)
• Pamplona, Spain
24 Nov 09
Hi gabs,
Social Workers can be the undoing of so many things sometimes. When I went back to England there was a Social Worker for my Mother up to there that was okay. Then they changed the Nurse who in no uncertain terms was going trying to put her foot in everything.
Well no matter I´m so glad her Daughter looks after her Mom like that that is something really positive.
Hope they resolve all those little things and E gets on well.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (64169)
• United States
23 Nov 09
Sounds like the son-in-law is probably most likely, but does she invite others inside like she did you? I don't think the purse or the trinkets would've shown up if it had been strangers
it maybe that they need to change the locks and not give the son-in-law access to the keys...
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
23 Nov 09
No she does not, People avoid her Elic which makes me angry, her own Daughter does not look after her that well, she only invited me in because she asked me if she could see Gissi now and again which I could not deny her, but she has got very attached to me as well now as she has someone to talk to
Her Daughter has the Key in case of emergencies but yes the Son in Law is under suspicion, as E came home one Day and saw 2 Men in her Living room through the Window, she went straight to her Daughters who came back to the House with her and the Men where gone of course the case was she was imagining things
1 person likes this
@margerydaw14 (735)
•
24 Nov 09
This is very worrying as this friend of yours seems to be very vunerable and someone is taking advantage of that. Its very suspicious that once something is spotted as missing , it only takes a couple of phone calls and they magically reappear. It is so easy to accuse the carers as carers sometimes do get bad publicity, but these ones of your friends sound caring and kind. the only thing is everyone has to be vigilant and make sure your friend is well protected.
@Kashmeresmycat (6369)
• United States
24 Nov 09
Oh my, that is really low slime. I think the two responses of getting the locks changed and a video recorder are the best idea's. If the daughter gets a new key which I think is a good idea, and something came up missing, she and her husband would be the likely suspects for sure. So give her a key and see what happens after that. I'd like to pound both of them...him for being such a cruel lousy son-in-law and her for being such a rotten stinken daughter.
It's very kind of you to go and visit her, you are her angel too, besides her caregiver. Sometimes things are meant to be, and obviously, you are hearing what is going on and reporting it. If you weren't there listening, no one would know. I think you were sent there for a reason as someone higher than anyone else is watching over her. That's how I look at it. Take care.
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
24 Nov 09
Hello Kash
Ideas have been put forward but with her Daughter being her Guardian as such they have to inform her the only time they see her is when something is going on and she wants to know about it
I just wish they could do more but they have been told to tread carefully
I just want her to stop being upset like she gets when things happen it is so sad and I am so glad that she gets the Happiness from Gissi that he seems to give her
Thank you Kash
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
24 Nov 09
gabs i bet a nickel its that son in law and he thinks everyone will just think she is confused, thats so horrible to pick on
an elderly lady with Alzeheimers like that. what is wrong with him surely he must know that the care giver would also notice things missing? thats just unforgiveable. you get to be a certain age and some unscrupulous person will mess with you then make it look like you are ga ga. shame on him.Also the fact that they were put back points to the son in law as he probably thinks that will make everyone just think the poor lady is ga ga. I would love
to get hold of him and kick him to kingdom come.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
24 Nov 09
Can't imaging the Carer would call the boss and then put the stuff back if she had taken it. And it's quite odd that the things reappear after the daughter has been called. If it is the son-in-law, I just wonder about somebody who would mess with an old lady's mind like that. And do you think the daughter knows he's doing it if it's him? Why would she put up with that, I wonder?
1 person likes this
@savypat (20216)
• United States
24 Nov 09
How sad this is but at the same time how lucky that you are able to help. I hate it when I hear of elder abuse, they are often unable to do anything to protect themselves and I am fast approaching this age, not that I have mental problems yet.
1 person likes this
@FRANCISCOANDLEE (750)
• United States
24 Nov 09
How sad. I hope you find the culprit soon. How disgusting to steal or move things on an elderly person to begin with but one with Alzheimer is just plan inhuman. It's ashame they don't have camera's so the caregiver and her boss could see who goes in and out and know the time. I just hope that who ever it is knows there is a thing called Karma what goes around comes around. Guess what will happen to them one day. sad
Thank you for being one of those that care enough to care for our elderly as many do not. I cant point fingers and say who cause I'm not there and know and see the whole situation first hand. Geez are people cruel.
Good Luck and Go Bless
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
25 Nov 09
Thank you Fran
Well I have to leave this to them to sort it out I know that the Carer now goes at Night as well to cook her Tea for her
Her Daughter lives next door surely she could cook extra but well I will keep out of that one but I know if it was my Mum that is what I would do
Thank you for your input
@GardenGerty (169448)
• United States
23 Nov 09
First off, I missed where you said you were moving. I just wish I was here more consistently. Secondly, I am with you, the caregivers are reliable and honest and also can back each other up. I am glad she has you as a friend, Gabs.
1 person likes this
@cloudwatcher (6861)
• Australia
24 Nov 09
Hi Gaby. What's this about you moving? You haven't mentioned that!
Gaby, is the door locked when you visit? Does she keep it locked all the time? Are there windows left open? - unlikely in the weather you have been having.
I think someone's suggestion of a secret camera is a good idea, but it costs money she might not have - and she would be likely to innocently mention it to her daughter. It really is a shame when things like this happen to the vulnerable. Apart from asking the neighbours to keep an eye open I can't see much other help (and of course the neighbours might not be trustworthy)
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
24 Nov 09
I thought I had told you on the Phone I am so sorry f I haven't
I need to get in warmer and smaller Flat now as this one is to big for me to maintain it like I want to
Also again every where is cold apart from the Living room , the Council is dragging their heals even though they have had a Letter so D said if nothing by end of January he will help me find somewhere and it will be closer to him, will tell you more when I next phone you
The Neighbours are nasty to her to one even asked me why I bother with her, I was angry and told them that I really hope they will never get struck with this
I will explain things on the Phone to you about things that I have already brought to her Carers attention, which we are working on but I do not want to say it here lol
The Carer said that she is glad I go to see her and also with things I have told her actually now puts pieces together
I know she is ok on Money but we also have to try to get through to her when she is at the Cash Machine she has to stop saying her pin number loud while putting it in, they can't change the number as it is a number she will not forget
It is so sad it really is but I am glad that Gissi and I give her bit of Happiness, the Carer told me she is always talking about Gissi, me to lol but more Gissi which is fine, and she even remembers his Name now to, only she still gets confused with the bit that he is a boy lol she calls him a she
You should see him he goes in the House as though he owns it, as soon as E sees him her face brightens up and then of course she runs round after him while he lets her know he would like a Drink by sitting by the sink, then his Ham by sitting by her Fridge and he sits nice for it which always amazes her, he then goes to the back door she knows he wants to go out, before I leave I make sure she has locked the back door and took the Key out and I always tell her to make sure to lock her Door when I leave, I will listen for her locking it
I wish her Daughter would be nicer to her but she will not even take the 2 Dogs round her because they had a fall out so now she will not give E the Dogs during the Day she rather leaves them in the Garden all Day it is so sad
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
24 Nov 09
hi Gabs,
i think its disgusting of the son-in-law to take advantage of the old lady and stealing from her and making people she is getting worst, haven't they got a cctv so they can see who is going in or out/ that way they can catch him, surley the daughter must suspect her husband, there will somethig lying aroud the house the he took for her mother? its obviou as when hever they let the daughter know it is returned, that is sus in any case, people like that makes me sick, there is always karma. love and hugs.
Tamara
xxxx
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
24 Nov 09
No she has not got a Camera
But things are being monitored I just do not understand why the Calendar it only had Gissi and Tinkerbell on it, it is a silly Item to be hiding
I can only do so much but her Carer has said with E opening up to me like she does at times it will help them to get to the bottom of this but they have to go careful on it
Love to you xxxx
