What is the best way to reject others without hurting their feeling?
@wildlittlefan (4680)
Hong Kong
November 27, 2009 2:12am CST
We all want to freindly to our friends but in reality,we can't say yes to all request from others.It is not easy to rejest others without hurting their feeling.It always invovle unhappiness and sometimes cause a relationship broke up.I have the same as experience too.I knew someone who needs help in certain things and expecting his friends to help him.But unfortunately,nobody wanted to help him at the end.And that experience really hurted my friend.He always offer help to everyone surrounding him and He is surely a giver more than a taker.The rejection really hurt his feeling.Well,what do you think in this issue?Can we reject others without hurting that person?How?
3 responses
@soledadclickz (1106)
• Philippines
28 Nov 09
Hi. This is one of my biggest personal problems. Most of the time, I don't really know how to say "No" to requests of my family and friends. This is the very reason why some of them already takes advantage at times. I'm always afraid to hurt their feelings by turning down requests.
I have improved little by little. My husband helped me in the process. He advised me to always ask myself several questions before saying "yes" to any requests. "Can I really help this person by granting his requests or not?" "Do I really help this person or I'm just tolerating his/her behavior of becoming too dependent on other people?" "Do I have enough time, money or energy to grant the request/s?"
My husband also told me that it's not bad to help but I should never let anyone abuse my kindness. I must also see that these persons also help themselves and do not just rely or depend on others.
@wildlittlefan (4680)
• Hong Kong
28 Nov 09
Thank you for your response.I think your husband is right and he is trying his best to protect you and help you grow in life.There are so many people love to take advantage of others kindness.I think to certain extend we have to be more assertive on others request and have the boldness to say no.Especially to those who just want to take advantage from you or keep on relying on others for help.We rae not helping at all if we keep helping this kinds of people.But to those who really need help,that will be another story.It is not easy to say no to the neddy without really hurting them,and that's why I post this discussion and see if there is still a better way.Although,I don't have any good advise yet but your reponse do show us some insight and reality that there are some people we really have to reject them in life.Thank you for your sharing a nd may God bless you with a happy family and a happy life.
@madteaparty (2748)
• Japan
28 Nov 09
I think we can't reject others without hurting them. Even if we think we're using a very convincing excuse, the other person might be hurt because of knowing it's an excuse, or because of finding out later. Even so, our excuse might hurt the other person too.
We, people, are very sensitive when it comes to human relationships.
@wildlittlefan (4680)
• Hong Kong
28 Nov 09
Thank you for your response.I agree with you that it is really difficult to reject others without hurting them.And I also agree with you that human are so sensitive in relationship.I know it is hard but still I want to see if there is anyway that we can make the hurt less.At least we are trying our best not to hurt others that much.Thank you for your opinion anyway.Have a good day.
@munchiez117 (539)
• United States
27 Nov 09
just say no and nothing more and if they ask say you forgot waht the question was then say explain it to me and once their done ask them to repeat the question then jsut say i dont know and tell them to ask you later that an annoying way to do it.
