Why must people asume that your one thing, when your totally not like that.
By chertsy
@chertsy (3798)
United States
December 1, 2009 11:01am CST
Here's the situation. My youngest daughter had her friend over to my house. They looked at one of those things on the internet that pops out at you, to scare you. Well, according to my kids, my youngest told her friend that it was scary, still her friend wanted to see it and bugged my oldest to find it on the internet. While this was going on, I had no clue, I was getting pants out of the dryer. By the time I got done, my youngest and her friend was looking at ghost pictures. Well, I sat down and was seeing what they were looking at. Her friend wanted to look at more. My dumb self figured if she wanted to look at it, it was ok. So, I would look at it with them and explain to them that it was all fake. Then I told them to go and play. Next thing I know her friend was saying there was things in my home. Which there wasn't, because I don't believe in that sort of thing.
Well, the child went home. About 4 hours later the mom calls me. She was wanting to know what they were looking at on the internet. I didn't know about the pop up. I didn't think anything about looking at so called ghosts on the internet. Well, next thing I know, my kids are being blamed for all of this. So I did the right thing and took the blame for it all. Still, I was told that I needed to clean my home of demons.
Well, I figured this all was said and done. Boy was I wrong, My daughter comes home all upset, her friend told her that she couldn't come to my home anymore, but she could go to hers. Well, I called and spoke to the dad today. I made it perfectly clear that his daughter wanted to look at this stuff, and that she didn't say that she couldn't. He was like I don't believe that, bla bla. I'm sorry I won't stand by and watch my kids be accused of this sort of thing, or be accused that my house is "evil". Just because I don't go to church, doesn't mean that I don't worship him in my own way.
I'm sorry that this is long, but to get a full discussion, I had to tell the full story. How would anyone that responds to this, would have handled the situation. I know this isn't going to end well, because I know the mom will be calling me tonight wanting to know why I put the blame on her child. After reading this mini novel, how would you handle the situation when the mom calls to confront you regarding her daughter wanted to look at this.
3 people like this
4 responses
@AmbiePam (85496)
• United States
1 Dec 09
Was the family in question Catholic? I just can't imagine any Christians I know having a cow over ghost stuff, or even thinking of calling people's homes evil. Or maybe Pentecostal? I don't want to stereotype them, but I've heard things like that said from people belonging to those groups.
2 people like this
@chertsy (3798)
• United States
2 Dec 09
No, they are not Catholic, nor are they Baptist. The church that they go to and want me to go to, is called World Outreach Church, so I honestly don't know what denomination that they belong to. I just wish their kid would tell the truth to her parents, but I don't see that happening. So far it's 6:32 pm and no phone call yet. I just find it funny when I pulled my kids apart and asked them what happened, they had the exact same story. While her story is all our fault. Oh well, I'm hoping after a few weeks of my daughter ignoring her, that she will think what I did was wrong. Like I said previously, maybe it's a good thing that this came about. I got to see their true colors, especially their daughters.
2 people like this
@jewels49 (1776)
• United States
1 Dec 09
You're in a tough spot.made even harder by the kinds of parents that insist "not my kid"..When my kids were in elementary school and had friends over, the computer was off limits so I could avoid this all together. Our issue was video games I let my son play some that some of his friends weren't allowed to..mainly the first Grand Theft Auto game. I would tell parents my son played that game and if they didn't want theirs too I needed to know. If we had several kids that could and one or 2 that couldn't here at the same time, the game was just put away. No child ever played that game that wasn't supposed to.
I had one mom that decided her son wasn't allowed in my house because mine played that game, so he automatically was some one her precious baby couldn't hang out with. She went as far as to try and get other parents to boycott both my son and our home. Thank God it didn't work. She went to the same things these people are, her kid could have friends at his house he wasn't allowed at any of ours. We were all fine with that..it meant we didn't have to deal with her and we liked her kid and so did all of our boys for a couple of years. Then they all parted ways in about the 5th grade.
Here's the funny part..sorry this is so long..It's now senior year, my son and his buddies are all honor graduates, mine is an all conference lineman, picking from scholarships..hers is in jail for..are you ready..Grand Theft Auto!!
My long-winded and unsolicited advise is apologize sincerely and offer to keep the computer off when her child is over, that's the easiest thing for the kids friendship. I promise you, if you tell her that her child wanted to see it, you are going to open a can of worms that isn't worth your time..Her kid was afraid she was going to get in trouble for going places on the net she wasn't supposed to. She blamed it all on your kid..Mom and Dad want to believe they are such good parents, their kid would never do something she had been told not to. She will never believe you and it will end up with no friendship for the kids.
And give this mom something to warn the other moms about if she is that kind of person. The best you can do here is defuse the situation and be contrite because there are kids involved. You don't want to go to war with people that are shouting words like evil at you, you've lost this battle before you start. Just by what he said to you, he's showing you who he truly is..believe him.
Again apologies for giving you a novel back.
1 person likes this
@chertsy (3798)
• United States
1 Dec 09
No need for apologies, your reply has helped, but it seems that I have already opened the can of worms. They can attack me and my husband for however long that they like, we are used to it. Now when it comes to my kids, that's when the Irish side comes out.
I find it funny how that mom got upset over a game, then later her son is arrested for the same thing he couldn't play. I honestly don't think my child and her friend will be friends much longer. Mine is upset that her so called friend left her high and dry. You have said the same thing my husband said, she got scared, then got called out, and only thing she could think of from getting into trouble was to blame us.
Well, I opened the can when I told the dad, and his first quick response was to say No, I don't believe that, my child knows not to go to look at these sites, that these pop ups are on certain pages. Well, I know my kids are not perfect, but I know when they are lying to me. When my oldest is crying because she feels like this is all her fault.
If this does call a rift, oh well. I'm just glad I found out now than later when something major happened, and my daughter is blamed for it. I think when the mom calls tonight, which I know she will. I will tell her, after talking to my kids again. This is what they told me again, I'm sorry that this happened. I guess it is for the best that your child doesn't come to my home, if only she brings it up. I'm not a "evil" person. I know my bible just like anyone else does. I'm not perfect and neither is anyone on this planet. I mean honestly, if they were so religious, they wouldn't even do things for halloween like decorate, go out trick-treating. That's my opinion. They think because they go to church, they know more.
@jewels49 (1776)
• United States
1 Dec 09
There is alot of people like that aren't there. They think because they show up in a church on sunday..the other 6 days of the week are theirs to pass judgement on the rest of us.
This group of boys were no angels either, never met a kid that was in real life.
Good luck..let us know how it turns out.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
20 Dec 09
chesty I think its that old thing about people always wanting to believe the worst cause its dramatic, so many are drama queens.
I would make sure that mom knew her own daughter started the whole thing and you were not aware of anything too bad about it.
stand up to this mom as you know your own daughter. I would have done just as you said you did. and I would really give that mom a piece of my mind. Maybe you could tell her that if she feels that way then maybe your daugher is better off finding a new
friend, and you will not let her visit the moms house ever again.
1 person likes this
@chertsy (3798)
• United States
21 Dec 09
Well, I made sure that they knew the whole truth. It took me a few days to sort it all out, after seperating my two and getting the same answers. I can't tell the mom/dad that I don't think their child should come to my house and vice versa because all communications have stopped between us. Which honestly shows the mature person in this situation. Especially when the dad wasn't open to the idea that his child could have started this whole mess in the first place. Like I told my husband, I'm just glad this happened now, than something really major and my kids would have gotten the finger pointed at them.
It just upsets me that this had to happen in the first place. It wasn't my fault that their kid bugged my kid to show her something. It wasn't my fault that I wasn't told that she couldn't see this. Plus if the child knew, shouldn't that kid tell me in the beginning.
I'm also upset that my child got their kid something for Christmas, now she will get to open it and play with it herself, knowing that it used to be for her friend.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
19 Apr 10
iam really starting to wonder where so many crazy parents are coming from these days. i mean how far in the dark ages are those people. 
to think you are eveil just to let their kids look at ghost things on the internet? geesh. hopefully if they are that paranoid they will take note that the discovery and learning channels have programs like this all the time. what? they cant just simply tell their kid theres no such thing. its all done out of fun at being a bit scared. anyway, i see what you are saying as my son has taken up with the same kind of goofy woman that thinks she can protect her kid from even hearing words she dont like. what a nut case. 
they are making their poor kid crazy.