Do you believe each and every word when people praise you?

Praise - “We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess”
By Bala
@balasri (26546)
India
December 3, 2009 1:32am CST
Do you stop for a second to understand the reason behind their adulation and try not to get serious about the good things that have been said about you, though you accept the praise with a smile?
7 people like this
33 responses
• United States
14 Dec 09
no I dont I would like to be able to believe them but I just cant perhaps its trust issues when it comes to others or maybe its bad self esteem but when someone praises me I usually just wonder what they are trying to butter me up for
3 people like this
@dpk262006 (56736)
• Delhi, India
3 Dec 09
Hi Bala! Very pertinent post! It all depends who is showering me with his/her praise. If it is a close friend either on mylot or in real life, I would take his/her words as true. I believe that I should not doubt their fairness that they would be praising me for the sake of it. For example, if you write something good about me, I have no reasons to doubt your integrity because I would definitely believe that those words came write from your heart and would accept your appreciation with a smile.. If somebody is praising me without any rhyme and reasons then I would understand that s/he is doing so just to flatter me to get his/her work done. Have a great day! Deepak
2 people like this
@balasri (26546)
• India
3 Dec 09
Yeah Deepak our heart is a good judge on these things.
@dpk262006 (56736)
• Delhi, India
3 Dec 09
Indeed our conscious tells us who is genuine and who is not.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Dec 09
You can feel if they are saying is genuine. I co-workers who praise me of what I done. Those things I had done, I made it as a result of my hardwork. She praised me of my performance and I feel her happiness for me. I believe in her praise. On the other hand some praises is not true, like some of my gay co-workers before they are praising other girls but at the back of them they were really criticizing them hard. YOu can feel the true praise from a dummy praise. So I believe what i feel is true, but I still says thank you.
@balasri (26546)
• India
14 Dec 09
As you say you can always feel the genuine adoration.
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (32819)
• India
3 Dec 09
Hi Bala, it depends on the person who praises me, because if the person has the habit of praising everybody then I won’t believe that person, even if he/she is saying correctly/honestly. But the praise is coming from a person who rarely praise then I should believe it. Recently I felt honored by somebody’s words because I know that the person told me the same from heart.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26546)
• India
3 Dec 09
You are a good person Srikala.You are very open on any subject and that shows your honesty.You sure deserve the honours you receive. Do you believe me Srikala?
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (32819)
• India
4 Dec 09
So nice of you bala, I think you deliberately praised me.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26546)
• India
4 Dec 09
Ha ha ha.That is the idea.
1 person likes this
@Wizzywig (7858)
3 Dec 09
No, I often dont believe any of it. I assume people are just being insincere or have an ulterior motive since I dont think I do anything particulary praiseworthy. Now and again, I will feel that I really have made a difference or done something well but I still find it hard to accept praise.
1 person likes this
@Wizzywig (7858)
3 Dec 09
Oh dear... see, now I feel guilty that I may have offended you. Trust me, I was not insulting or doubting your sincerity ... ..I just sometimes think to myself " why would anyone say something so nice about me?" I know that not appreciating oneself is a very irritating quality. I'm great at making excuses for other people but... I'm sure we've all had people tell us we do something well because they dont want to do the job themselves or say something complimentary to our face and then b!tch about us behind my our backs or be friendly because they dont happen to have anyone else around at the time.. Anyway, I thank you, most sincerely for your friendship and kind words dear fjaril and I will accept them all graciously
@Wizzywig (7858)
6 Dec 09
Dear Lord of the Butterflies I solemnly promise never to pee on your petunias! I love petunias and,whilst I may not always be totally conformist,I have not yet stepped beyong the bounds of common decency and peed in anyone's garden "reluctant, tolerant, underpaid, babysitter" How perceptive you are!! I sometimes feel thats exactly what I am...except they are not babies as such. You have said some lovely things about me for which i thank you even tho I still dont quite believe I deserve them but that is no slur on your sincerity, merely a facet of my "I'm not worthy" perception. Yesterday,my son paid me the most wonderful compliment & knowing him to be one who speaks his mind, I have to concede that, if he thinks that of me then I can't be all bad
• Canada
20 Dec 09
I like to think, and I really hope, that people are honest when they say something nice about someone else, so I am inclined to believe them, because if they didn't mean it, they wouldn't say it, right? And if they don't mean what they say, it's their problem.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26546)
• India
20 Dec 09
This is one of the best responses I got for this discussion.Thanks Danish.
@wolfie34 (26789)
• United Kingdom
4 Dec 09
I have this problem my friend that if someone compliments or praises me I just ignore it because I don't believe it or don't accept it, however if someone gives me a criticism or a nasty remark then straight away I believe it, it's because I have such a chronic low self esteem, I refuse to believe good things about me and cast them aside. I cling on negatives and soak them up like a sponge, anything said to me in praise goes in one ear and out the other I never stop and say yes thank you for the compliment it's true!
@balasri (26546)
• India
5 Dec 09
Well there is no one in this world without any talent whether it is small or big.You just cannot brush aside the compliments.They may be true.There is no reason why everyone should compliment you on a certain thing.May be you really deserve that compliment.
@happy6162 (3009)
• United States
4 Dec 09
It has been a very long long time since I was praise for something I had done. Most of the time when I do get a praise it is from someone that I believe really thinks I did something real good. I just thank the person and then smile and sometimes shake their hand.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26546)
• India
5 Dec 09
That is very nice of you.
• Philippines
4 Dec 09
Not as some are deception and full of lies so i never trust anyone even those close to me as praising could easily done even by those with bad motives. To be safer it is more fine not to trust those who just meet and even those close friends sometimes becomes a traitor in the long run because of jealousy.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26546)
• India
4 Dec 09
Yes.Humans are good at masking whatever they have in their minds with words.
• Philippines
4 Dec 09
Nope. It really depends on who's the person who have praised and said good things to me. Sometimes, you could feel if the person praising you is just doing it because they have other motives or they just do the praising for the show.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26546)
• India
4 Dec 09
You cannot be eulogised that easily I think.
@lindiebiz (1013)
• Canada
4 Dec 09
Yes I do, human nature, sometimes, people praise you when they need something from you or what you to do them a favour. Generally, I am skeptical about praises because humans can't be trusted.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26546)
• India
4 Dec 09
It always pays to be careful.
@lkbooi (16093)
• Malaysia
4 Dec 09
Hi balasri, I know myself very well. So I could see and feel whether the praise has been given is sincere or not. I’m not rich as well as no longer young anymore So I’ don’t think it is worth for anyone to adulate me. But if there is still someone in my real life praising me, no matter how it’s nice and courteous as well to accept it with a smile and return a “thank you” at the same time I don’t feel happy and proud at all if I’m not really that good. But if it is related to anything that can be improved like skill, knowledge, etc, I will try my best to enhance myself so as to match the compliment Anyway I feel more relaxed and comfort not to live for praise. It’s not nice as well if losing ourselves indulging in others sweet praising. Happy posting!
1 person likes this
@balasri (26546)
• India
4 Dec 09
You have said it all in you usual and nice impeccable way Ikbooi.
@paula27661 (15898)
• Australia
4 Dec 09
It does depend on who is doing the praising. If the praise came from either of my parents I would probably fall over from shock! There are some who dish out meaningless compliments without sincerity and there are good friends who will commend when praise is due and they applaud I treasure it. It has taken me years to learn not to dismiss praise and just say thank you. I did not always believe it when others said nice things to me, nowadays if it comes from the right person; I hold it close to my heart.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26546)
• India
4 Dec 09
Yes Paula.The right person is the key word.
1 person likes this
@shweta02 (18)
• Australia
4 Dec 09
I guess yes. When you get praise from some one who is close to u then there is no reason to belive that they are lying because they will also tell u as frankly when u do something wrong.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26546)
• India
4 Dec 09
Yes you definitely got a point there.When you feel happy over the praise you also must be ready to face the genuine criticism.
@carrine (2748)
• Philippines
3 Dec 09
no exactly. but yeah there are some i do believed and there are some also that i dont. some people tend to say something which is not true, they just want our attention thats why their telling something about it.
@balasri (26546)
• India
4 Dec 09
Right.We just cannot be conned by the opportunists.
• United States
3 Dec 09
Hi bala -- Sometimes I'm my own worst critic, so when someone tells something nice about me and I can't see it, I try changing my perspective. When I'm complimented, I sure don't want to be in denial! I think most of us are too close to ourselves to recognize our positive traits. I don't know about most people, but I tend to recognize my character flaws more quickly than my positive qualities.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26546)
• India
4 Dec 09
Well said.We know about ourselves and our deeds and we always know whether we need the adulation or the criticism.When it comes from the right person we can always make use of it to our advantage.
@Mirita (2668)
• United States
3 Dec 09
Well, I learned that some people are sincere ,and they really believe that we are very special ,but others usually want something from us ,and they just want to tell us what we wish to hear. Ha Ha!
@balasri (26546)
• India
4 Dec 09
You must be right with all your experience Mirita.
• United States
3 Dec 09
Life has taught me to distrust praise of any kind. at least until recently, anyway. Always n the past, when someone praised me, they were either wanting something in return, or, were trying to set me up for a fall. I pretty much ignore praise, and listen to the critisisms. Praise won't ever help me correct any mistakes I might be making, but the critics will. Nobody's perfect (especially me) so ignoring the critics and listening to the praise is self defeating, don't you think? I know in this liberal day and age, you might be afraid to hurt someone's "feelings", but without criticism, we can never improve ourselves, advance beyond what we are and realize what we might become. So, do what I do. Ignore the praise and listen to the critics. if you're not strong enough to do that without getting depressed, what in the world are you doing with your life?
1 person likes this
@balasri (26546)
• India
4 Dec 09
A nice response and food for the thought.
3 Dec 09
hi bala, i only have a few friends thaty I am close to and yhey would only praise me when there is a need to otherwise they are very truthful to me as we are all to each other. Tamara
@balasri (26546)
• India
4 Dec 09
One of the luckiest things in life to have true friends like that.
@riyasam (16567)
• India
3 Dec 09
i do not beleive every word though i like to hear my praises being said.these very same people who sing our praises will tell your bad points one day.(by experience)
1 person likes this
@balasri (26546)
• India
3 Dec 09
I am all for that as another one who has gone through the same experience.