Don't tell personal things to your colleage!

China
December 3, 2009 10:44pm CST
Because my work makes me unhappy and very depressed,so I decided to quit my job.I have submitted my letter of resignation and told my boss that I have to go back my hometown and my relatives introduced a new job to me.It is just an excuse.I don't have courage to tell her that I can't stand her bad temper and i am so tired of the job.But I tell the truth to my colleague when we have lunch together.Now my boss seems to kown about it,and told me some ironic words.It is too embarrassed.I don't kown how my boss kown everything I have told to colleague.It is too dreadful.So it teached me a lesson.Don't tell truth and personal things to your colleague.
23 responses
@dawnald (84199)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 Dec 09
You do have to be careful what you say to people at work. Hopefully you would be OK talking to a co-worker who is a close friend, but if they aren't I wouldn't trust them with that kind of information. Now maybe there is no chance that you will ever go back and apply for a job with that company, but if you ever did, this may have made that impossible. Don't burn your bridges unless you're absolutely certain you will never go back. And even then, it probably not a very good idea.
• Mexico
5 Dec 09
Hi dawnald: that's a good advice. I think there's no option to go back and at the same time i would make this person know how horrible he/she is when he make this and that i hope nobody would make him/her a nasty thing as this and that i trust in his/her friendship, etc. Thanks for your answer. Have a nice day. Alvaro
@djbtol (5496)
• United States
4 Dec 09
As the say,"loose lips sink ships!". Sorry that the colleague had loose lips. I guess it takes a lot more of a close friend than a business colleague to trust with such important information. Too bad you got burnt, and too bad the boss was too nasty. Hope you find something else soon. djbtol
• China
4 Dec 09
loose lips sink ships. It is truth.Thank you for your nice words.
• Philippines
4 Dec 09
Hi. It's me again. I think it depends on the work colleague (and his/her character) that you're detailing personal secrets, grievances, and experiences. You could definitely find some work colleagues who could become trusted friends and wouldn't tell anyone of your secrets, most especially work-related grievances and disappointments. But yeah...I agree with you, it's still the safest not to tell anyone about your secrets/grievances from the workplace.
• China
4 Dec 09
Nice to see you again.Thanks so much for your advices.I will learn the lesson.
• China
7 Dec 09
Wow, Deng, I'm sorry to hear that. And I can learn your situation. But I think you're lucky, too. As it happened after you submit your resignation, that means it hurt you for long, but you also have a very important lesson by this co-worker. It doesn't mean you can't tell others your true thoughts. - In fact, if you always hide your true opinions behind, it's also harmful. But you should control the scale, and you also need learn others more. Someone is worthy to be trusting. So...good luck for you in the future!
• Canada
5 Dec 09
Well yes, but you need to talk to someone about it. Who do you talk to? Do you talk to your wife and or husband? How can they understand where you are coming from? But nobody likes to be put down either, I'm talking wife or husband. I was put down all the time from my husband and even though he was put down at work. it made me very angry and now that he's lost his job he now denies being nasty to me.
• China
5 Dec 09
I'm really sorry about your experience. I don't know whether it's selfish to think that there's nobody trustworthy in this world except our beloved ones who really care for us. As for our colleagues, they share the same interest as we do. As long as it is for their good, they'll do everything to achieve that, even telling off the secrets of others in order to win the boss's attention. I had learned about this long ago. When I was a university student, one of my roommates whom I always regarded as a close friend told the other one my complaint. Then you know what happened. So we should know how to handle relationship with our colleagues.
@danitykane (3190)
• Philippines
5 Dec 09
hi deng! Oh...I hope you will able to cope with the situation that just happened in your work. I know you will! Okay, you are right, there are issues that are quite hard to share with some people and there are personal matters that should be kept and not to tell especially at work. It is very evident that people at work loves to make gossip..hahaha! like it happens in every office or workplace. As much as possible avoid sharing important matters to them unless, you really trust your co-worker whole heartedly. On the other hand, I just hope you will not get depressed about the matter. Because first, you were able to quit your job and address how you truly feel about your situation working there. Second, you will be relieved with all those pain and heartaches that your boss have caused you. Imagine, you don't have to deal with her bad self anymore. lolz. You will have the chance to redeem yourself in finding a better job that suits you and will make you more happy. Lastly, you have learned a lot of things with that experience, for sure it will make you a better person. Happy Lotting!
@snafushe (794)
• Canada
5 Dec 09
I'm sure the show The Office has hopefully taught people this lesson by now.
• China
5 Dec 09
Yeah, I feel the same as you do. From your story, I believe you must be a kind-hearted person. You like to share your feeling with others. But remember that, people are not always what you think of them. And you don't always get what you expect from them. For example, you shared a secret with your friends or workmates who you trust. But later, you find your secret go public. So for most time, i choose to keep private things. And I suggest you learn to protect youself. Then we can survive such a difficult and sophiscated world.
@borhan (1345)
• United States
5 Dec 09
If you want to be in peace, never tell your personal things to anyone. At times, i heard that it is not wise to share everything to wife also. If something is personal, mean that to be personal. Have a great day.
@gx7001lm (63)
• Malaysia
5 Dec 09
just learn from your mistake and go ahead with life. tell personal things only to those whom you trusted but never tell your colleague anything personal especially when you are about to leave. they do not need to know the reason why or just tell them the same reason you told your boss.
• Mexico
5 Dec 09
Hi dengzhifei: I think that's a terrible conclution we get when we feel that a close friend has betrayed us telling the others those thing we share with them and they were important secrets. It's horrible because that makes us to not trust so easily on other persons but at the same time i think the world would be horrible if we'd think that all of our friends are like this. This makes part of life, simply try to chose better persons that you can count when you want to tell them a secret. Have a nice day. Alvaro
• India
4 Dec 09
since ur boss got to know about the truth without u telling it,there is someone close to u who must have told it. and it is no one other than ur colleague.yes there are people who u can not trust blindly.but that also does not mean each and everyone out there is the same type of person.u should test person before u open ur fingers.in today's world,blind faith,trust will jeopardise ur life.be mindful of it.
• United States
4 Dec 09
I think your right as well. You have to be really really careful what you say to the people you work with. I think sometimes work can feel like your bad at school and everyone is talking about everyone. I try to keep my business life and personal life separate!
@monkeylong (3146)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Dec 09
As far as I am concerned, what you have said may not be the right. I think sometimes we need the help from our colleagues We need to make a good relationship between each other.When we get something unhappy we need communicate with our colleagues to just make us understood. Happy mylot.
@Downwindz (2540)
• Netherlands
4 Dec 09
I believe there is always a line between friends and colleagues, im so sorry you have a bad experience from this. Especially if you considered this colleague to be your friend :/ I hope it will not affect the recomendation letter you will get from the company, because some have tendencies to ruin other peoples life if they feel offended and have the power to do it :( Hopefully your boss will learn by the mistakes and improve for the future.
@vsinoj00 (52)
• India
4 Dec 09
You are very much right, never trust your colleages much unless you believe them as your best friend. These people just use the information to impress their boss and just wants to gain their boss' trust. The best policy is when you are working for a company never try to say anything against the company as there are many people who works as spy of the management, they just gets the information and passes them to their superiors and makes their boss believe that he is a kind of trustworthy person in the whole organization.
@airasheila (5456)
• Philippines
4 Dec 09
Good day to you Dengzhifei213, With reference to your topic, in an office vicinity, there are different types of person. You can trust all of them but on a different level. You can say that they are all your friends but on a different aspect. You can say your secrets to them but on a different situation. Try to consider and think that you have a lot of friends but only few can really understand what you are going through. In addition, you can also trust everybody but on a different extent. Every person has its own way how to keep things in secret. So better be choosy and careful to whom you will divulge your secrets as well as your heartaches.
@airasheila (5456)
• Philippines
4 Dec 09
Good day to you Dengzhifei213, With reference to you topic, there are times, colleague are just your ordinary co-worker. Especially if you are working in a big company. Generally, you cannot consider them as your close friends. That you meet them as you acquaintance friend and only good for day to day transaction and conversation. However, that is a general principle, and for every general rule, there are some exceptions. You can still have close friends in an office vicinity, but try to be choosy. Choose the right one, that you think you can divulge your heartaches, as well as your secrets. Thus, pick the right one that can fully understand you.
@GaryJoule (216)
• China
4 Dec 09
Since you are about to leave, why didn't you tell you boss the truth. If I were you, I would speak frankly to your boss that I don't suit her temper. Ironic words? no, no, you should fight agaist her. you are a employee, not her daughter, you should not indulge her temper.