Have you ever had a friend that has fallen for you but you dont feel the same?

United States
December 5, 2009 11:45am CST
Have you even been friends with someone than they tell you that they are in love with you and you don't know what to do? Should you stop talking to them? should you just forget about it? I have this friend that likes me more than a friend... i don't feel the same way about him plus i am married! Should i tell me husband what happened?
2 people like this
3 responses
@ladym33 (10990)
• United States
5 Dec 09
This happened to me more than I can even say. Including a guy that I considered to be my best friend. It actually ended our friendship. It is never good and some guys just will not give up no matter how much you tell them you are not interested, they just fine it more of a challenge. It is terrible when you can not avoid them either. I once had a boss who liked me and I was engaged to my husband at the time, and he was aware of this and I made it clear that I loved my fiancee and that we were going to get married and I would not break up with him and basically there was no chance that this guy would ever have a chance with me. Still he would leave little gifts from me in my coat pockets and told me how he felt everyday. It got quite annoying. He continued until the day before I got married, then I left the job after that.
@ladym33 (10990)
• United States
5 Dec 09
About telling your husband if you have made it clear to this guy that you love your husband and there is no chance for anything between the two of you and he continues to bother you then yes you should tell your husband. If however, he bugs off and never bothers you that way again it might be better to just let it go. In other words if he stops making waves then you should not start making them.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Dec 09
wow... tell me about its i'm sad to say this isnt my first time finding this out. He already wont stop bothering em and he keeps telling me how he feels me but hes a great friend so i don't want to hurt him and i don't want to lose that friendship either!
@happy2512 (1266)
• Philippines
5 Dec 09
I have experienced that now what I did is I thank themfor feeling that way for me but I make it a point to make him understand that what he wish for is not possible because I am married & even if my husband is not that respomsible but I just don't want to ruin our marriage.
• United States
6 Dec 09
I tried to let him know nothing was ever going to happen but i'm not sure they got the idea... i'm pretty sure he doesn't care!
• United States
5 Dec 09
From my personal experiences and from what I know, the other person had fallen for me in terms of a crush, and I didn't like him as anything more than a friend. How I dealt with it, was I was honest to him; I told him that I didn't like him how he liked me. I felt bad of course, for turning him down because I really did care about him, but just not in the same way. I was also at the point where I didn't know what to do because it was so overwhelming, but I decided in the end to be honest because I didn't want him to have false hope and I didn't want to lie to him either. I think in your case, especially since you are married, you should be honest to your friend about how you feel. If you don't address it, his feelings for you can grow to the point where it'll be much harder for him to 'get back on his feet'. Don't ignore it because that wouldn't be fair to him. Imagine if you were in his position, wouldn't you want to know the other's true feelings about you so you know whether you should move on and give up, or continue to pursue them? About your husband, I would be careful about telling him because if he's the type of person to get angry easily, that may not float over so well. If there's nothing truly happening between you and your friend that you are ashamed of, then it's okay if you don't tell your husband because you didn't do anything wrong. What I would do if I was in your situation, is I would first talk to the friend to straighten things out and make sure he understands how I truly feel. Telling your husband is really up to you and how you think he would react and how you would feel about being completely honest to him. If he is understanding, then it won't bother him so much (maybe a little jealousy can be good). In the end though, you can think of it this way. What if your husband was going through the same thing you are going through right now? Would you want to be told or would you want to continue as if nothing happened?
• United States
6 Dec 09
That you for all your tips! I think your right... i tried to tell my friend how i felt but i don't think it worked at all. If he does not stop I'm going to have to stop talking to him. I don't wanna tell me husband because he will freak out... he gets really jealous! I don't want to lose my friend because hes a great friend.