Will You Give a Second Chance to Cheating Husband/ BF?
December 8, 2009 6:44am CST
QUESTIONS: 1.) Is it really possible an affairs can be brought by "CURIOSITY" without mush emotions invloved? GUYS...kindly answer this question. 2.) For guys..can you say you really love your wife/gf when you are fooling around? 3.) If a wife/gf will gave a second chance whats the chances that the guy will not do it again? As a wife im afraid to gave a second chance because maybe he will think that he can do it again because I can forgive him. 4.) Lastly if a girl demanded a separation but the guy didn't want to and said that the girl can do same thing also to what he is doing without leaving him...IS THAT A SIGN OF INSANITY? Just wanted to ask whats your view about this.Thanks!
1 person likes this
9 Dec 09
Just become bed buddies, not girlfriend or boyfriend. And if you don't want him sleeping with other girls, then you should tell him.. give him one more chance and then if he does then leave him. Yes alot of the time it is brought on by Curiosity, or if the girl is cute and has a nice personality, but it most of the time it is the guy doesn't get emotionally attached to the girl, unless he has been seeing this girl for alot of times.
10 Dec 09
So you accept that 90% of the guy just doing it for curiousity sake?They said a cheater is always be a cheater,would you believe in that?that cheating is a character.We can tell always our partners to gave second chance and not to do it again,but they just stop for months then do it again...again....
• United States
8 Dec 09
I think its different for everyone. I was in that situation and did give the second chance but I regret it everyday since that day. My husband has never cheated a second time but I can not ever have feelings for him again. Its the whole forgiving thing, i think you can forgive but never have those same feelings of love like you had before. I see the last several years as a total waste of time. I can not get the emotional satisfaction from the relationship because even though hes trying i can not trust him and think theres a part of me that dont want to ever trust him again. I stay because its best for my children , they deserve to have him in their lives but for me i feel like i need that trusting satisfying relationship so i have got involved with an online relationship and get my emotional needs filled that way. This will work for now for me but if my friend where to go threw the same thing i would advise my friend to becareful about what you agree to try because it could leave you feeling like your missing something from your life. This just how i see it and this is a very personal matter that everyone needs to look at their own personal relationship and what you think is best for yourself.
8 Dec 09
When the time you discover that you were cheated,the trust has been shattered.When the word trust is already lost,it cant be easily gained again.Yeah all of us sometimes we had the feeling that he do ity before,he might do it again today.All of has has its own choice maybe thats your choice to stay with love eventhough the love you feel for him has already a missing part.I do hope someday that you will regain it again.Im not against of what you are into now,I just do hope that all is well as time goes by...Take care...
• Delhi, India
9 Dec 09
Hi anne! To your main quesiton about cheating that I would like to give second chance to my friend/partner if she cheats on me. I would like her to tell me the reasons for cheating so that I could improve upon in my conduct. If you are afraid of giving second chance to your boy friend/partner, it is entirely upto you and it is your discretion, no one can force you. You may do whatever makes you comfortable.
8 Dec 09
no one is perfect and everyone can make mistakes so i guess i will give him a second chance as long as i can see that he really change. though the damage was already done and perhaps we can no longer get back the way we have before but it depends to him if he really feel sorry for it and i can see that he tried to win my heart back. but if he will do it again then thats it. cut everything from him and think that theres too many guys out there who deserves for you. I might cried for months but i must accept the fact that there's still more men on earth and that his not even a dot from them.
8 Dec 09
ANSWERS: 1.) Cheating on wives have many different reasons like out of peer pressures, they just merely create an alibi, or the wife is keep on nagging them. 2.) When they are caught cheating they always say to the wives that they love her in order to be forgiven & given a 2nd chance to make up the damage they cause in a relationship. 3.) It happened to me my husban is fooling around with another woman but when he ask for a 2nd chance I tried to give him the chance to prove he is worth it to be given a chance as my male friends always say once a cheater is always a cheater by then if he will comitt the same mistake again then its the time to say goodbye & move on with our own lives then separate. We already have an agreement that this is the last chance I gave to him already. 4.) Well I cannot say its a sign of INSANITY for me its PRIDE that made them act like that they cannot accept the fact that wife can move on with our life without a man behind us. Its because some men are too dependent on the wife. I hope I was able to answer your questions in my own point of view for I only based it upon my experience.
• United Kingdom
9 Dec 09
Well,this is a touchy subject and is pretty subjective.There are some guys who indulge into infidelity and there are others,the completely committed kinds.There are times when you tend to get attracted to other people outside your relationship but then,if your partner is the ideal kind and you haven't lost all your morals then surely the distraction wouldn't last long.Also,there are times when you do commit a mistake of losing your partner's faith but then,given a second chance,there would be some who wouldn't repeat the mistake!!
8 Dec 09
That sad part in this scenario is that the woman always has to bear the pain of being cheated and still have to bear the fear that same will occur again once you have forgiven the person. They say that men will always find a way to have a taste of new things around them and that includes women. Society, sad to say, dictates that it is a mortal sin for a woman to do the same. Why in the first place you man cheated on you? We all know for fact the ugly truth about men but had accepted that with a promise made in marriage that he will not cheat and yet, he still do it. You may think that I am a hard person, but if it does happen to me, there will be no second time. If he had done it the first time and you forgive him, he will still do it again the second hoping that you will forgive him again. Personally, if the man cannot commit the same commitment that I give to the marriage, then he is totally out of my life.
9 Dec 09
If my partner cheated on me i will not give him another chance if he seeks for it. You are right, thinking that you forgave him can make him do it again because he is comfortable that you will forgive him again and again. Cheating should stop at the very first time you will know it or else both or your life will be in total mess especially when you have kids, because they will suffer a lot.
• United States
8 Dec 09
No I would not give a second chance. I did that in my first marriage. Grant it everyone is different but I could never put myself through that mistrust again. I told myself we were young we were each others 1st so the curiosity of another was bond to happen. Well needless to say after several years it continued. So much that I went to the doctors because he had given me an STD. Nice I know. Merry Christmas. A man telling me I can do the same thing and wanting to live in the same house haha Come on how is he gonna react every time I was to go out with someone else. He would even know where and when then. No way enough drama. Male or female you cant have your cake and eat it too sorry . I dont call it insanity Its called possessiveness. Wanting to know your every move and making it okay for them to do what they want. No way