What can I do to help my child understand and/or cope?

this may sound funny jessica67 but i myself has proven it effective. although i cant sing that well, when it comes to teaching my kids proper hygiene, i always do it with them...singing and dancing. (this is the way i brush my teeth...) this will show them that you are enjoying those things and will really look fun for them. and kids always looovvveeee doing things with fun. and when they're used to it, they will be the one to remind you of it... you bet! happy mylotting

This is stremendous statement and atrong noise public. That's good that you taking care of your child and basically this king of things may sometimes happen and and oyu are right and you must do something about your children. you give them a lots of love and yes you can also solve the problems of your husband with the help of love. remember one thing " think by mind and work hard by Heart". god will always help you

I admire you for taking the high road and not talking ill of the childs father. It must be hard knowing he does not take care of your child in the fashion you would want him too, and even to a level where the personal hygiene and nutricien of your child gets in trouble. I am not sure of the laws where you live, but in Holland a person who treats a child like this will be punished for neglect. They will have to change their ways or there is a possibility that the child may no longer visit there. They will do anything with help etc. to prevent that, but if the parent doesn't coöperate that's the last step (or if the situation gets threatening for the child's physical or mental health). I agree with earlier answers. Make sure you do explain why brushing your teeth is important and try to make it fun. You can also make a card with a matrix on it and give your child a fun sticker to put in one of spots in the matrix. Once it's full, he get's a treat or a small present. If a child is young and has little inner motivition, this can be a good way to convince a child to do these things in a positive way. Good luck!

I'm not sure how old your child is but the best way to deal with a parent like this, I think, is to make sure that you teach him good nutrition and hygene. Make sure he takes a toothbrush with him. You are doing good in not putting the father down. I know that is hard. I was married to a man who was an abusive drunk. He did not put me down to the kids but he was just, well, not a great parent. Still, I did not feel right keeping them from him. He was their father and as long as they looked up to him and wanted to see him, I just dealt with it. As they got older, they pretty much saw him for exactly what he was. They did not like his lifestyle but they loved him as he was and I think maybe understood more the reasons why we were not together. Kids are good at figuring things out as they get older. I'm sure that there will come a time when your child will see his dad just as he is.

You are between a rock and a hard place. I commend you for taking the high road. Too many parents don't and the kids are the only ones that truly suffer for it. I think the best thing you can do is keep taking it(the high road) and put your efforts in with your child..Make sure you encourage dental care and that your child understands how important it is, maybe buy a special toothbrush and kid paste to pack in the overnight bag..They make really cute little flossers for kids too. The same with bathing..or just wait until they come home, just don't criticize in front of the little one that there was no bath. As for the negative things he says, I would ignore them unless your child directly asks you. The one thing I know about kids is that they watch us alot more than they listen to us. The other thing I know is they are more perceptive than we give them credit for. It won't take your child long to know what is really true, even of they never say anything, they figure out the truth by watching for themselves.

The big problem doesn't sound like the father just lets the child get away with a lot--and kids DO like that. Think about it. When you were a child, you enjoyed things like candy, and you hated things like baths and brushing your teeth (at least I did). It's hard to explain to a child what they hate is good for them, and what they like is bad for them. However, I'd recommend a few small things--act like veggies are the best thing in the world! Pretend like brushing your own teeth is super fun! Set a good example.