Adopted Child

Adopted Child - Adopted Children
India
December 13, 2009 7:15am CST
Hi Friends,My neighbour after 10 years of her marriage she didnt get a child latter the family members suggested them to adopt a new born boy baby. Till 2years she treated that child well. But after some days she delivered a baby girl, after that she use to not take care of the adopted child so again she sent back the adopted child to the orphanage. Do you people think wat she did is correct. But i felt so sad for that child. Wats your opinion friends. Should an adopted child have the same legal rights as an non - adopted child.
11 people like this
39 responses
• India
14 Dec 09
A woman is supposed to be epitome of love and that becomes multifold when she becomes a mother. I just can't imagine how a woman can be so selfish and cruel. A child is a child be it adopted or own and gives the same pleasure to a mother. If she had such indifferent feeling why did she adopt a child in the first place. I doubt if she can love her own child and may also turn materialistic if circumstances arise. Shame on such woman who can inflict pain on such a small child. If she had adopted the child legally the child can claim the rights as he grows up. Happy mylotting.
1 person likes this
• India
28 Feb 10
Hi bewitched, Thanks for your response. Reading your post i remember a saying in Kannada, the meaning goes like this For a women a Women itself is an enemy.If she had differention between the kids she should have not adopted the child itself. Have a great day
@vijayanths (7878)
• India
13 Dec 09
This is not right deepa. The boy must have become the legal hair of the family. He must be having all the rights in the family including the property right.This mother is really disappointing.
1 person likes this
• India
13 Dec 09
Rabbit - Cute rabbit
Hi vijayanths, Thanks for your response, I agree with you wat she did was wrong. Since he was the adopted son even he was the legal hair of the family and he has all rights. that lady is so mean minded person. Have a great day.
@coolcoder (2019)
• United States
14 Dec 09
YES, THEY SHOULD! How in the world can this even be a question? I myself was adopted, and this is a subject that really hits home with me. Who would even dare think that adopted children should not be treated as well as biological children? This woman has a serious problem, there are no two ways around it, and if you want my honest opinion, she shouldn't even be a mother at all if she's going to show that much preference to one child over another.
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22577)
• United States
14 Dec 09
What a horrible message she sent to that child. A person should not adopt a child unless that person feels that child is THEIR child. What's she going to do, when the going gets rough with her birth child, send it to an orphanage when it's a teenager? That child now has bonded with that parent and will have a hard time trusting or believing that adoption is forever with the next family. That child will feel that any time she could be sent back. She probably wonders what she did wrong or why her Mom didn't love her any more. That's just horrible. I feel sorry for that child, too. She was robbed of a family 2xs and the child that was born should be her brother or sister, so she was not only robbed of parents, but of a sibling. I hope she finds a better family and that they're a forever family.
• India
6 Mar 10
Hi writersedge, Thanks for your response, I completely agree with you people should not adopt a child unless they feels the child as their own child. The child was very much attached to the father, but after she sent the child back to the orphanage, the child would have lost trust on adoption itself. Have a great day
• India
6 Mar 10
Hi writersedge, Thanks for your response, I completely agree with you people should not adopt a child unless they feels the child as their own child. The child was very much attached to the father, but after she sent the child back to the orphanage, the child would have lost trust on adoption itself. Have a great day
• India
6 Mar 10
Hi writersedge, Thanks for your response, I completely agree with you people should not adopt a child unless they feels the child as their own child. The child was very much attached to the father, but after she sent the child back to the orphanage, the child would have lost trust on adoption itself. Have a great day
@deebomb (15319)
• United States
13 Dec 09
It is sad that after two years she could stop loving the little boy. she must not have loved him very much. It is probably a good thing that she sent him back because she probably would end up abusing him or making him her servant and he could be worse off then if he were in the orphanage. I don't understand how she could just shut off her love for the little boy.
• India
28 Dec 09
Hi deebomb, Thanks for your response, One way its good that she has sent him back. But i don't understand why after she gave birth to her own child, she sent him back, she could have shown the same love and affection him also know what she did before. Any way by god's grace the child is happy now. have a great day.
@deebomb (15319)
• United States
28 Dec 09
It is really sad that she could turn off her love for the boy if she even had any love for him. I have blood brothers that were twin. They were adopted by friends of my grandmother and also couldn't have any children. They had the boys for about 2 years when she had a son, They continued to love the twins and treated them just like their own. it would have been horrible if they had given the twins back.
• India
29 Dec 09
Hi deebomb, Even i felt sad for the baby but i wish everyone whoever adopts a child and plans to give to good future to the child should never have the plans again to send back, if they have such plan its better not to adopt the child. Thanks for your views. Have a great day.
@liquorice (3901)
14 Dec 09
That's so sad. In my eyes that's the same thing as if you gave birth to a child, but then when that child was two you had another child and abandoned your first-born. When you adopt a child it becomes your child, and that's all there is to it. I know people who have adopted children and they would never treat them any differently to a child they had delivered themselves. They were just so grateful to have a child at all, children are so precious. That's the way it should be anyway, and it's very unfortunate for the poor boy that he was rejected like this.
@writersedge (22577)
• United States
14 Dec 09
I agree, a child is a child and a precious gift. Anyone who treats children this way shouldn't have any.
• India
24 Feb 10
Hi liquorice, Thanks for your response have a great day. @ writersedge, you are rite child is a precious gift and one who treats the children the way she behaved should not have any.
• Philippines
14 Dec 09
i felt sad for the child too. What is the reason why the child have been returned? I guess if you decided to adopt a child your mind is ready for all the responsibility you have to face. It is weird if they will return it, like they became coward and second thoughts of adopting. I guess there is a seminar or orientation before someone could adopt a child, and that way they have given a chance to decide if they are ready or not , not like that what happened to your neighbor. For sure they have a deep reason for it.
• India
16 Feb 10
Hi Grecychunny, Like you even i felt sad for the child Even i dont know the exact reason why they have returned the kid but only thing i can say she is was selfish and more over the kid had got attached to all the members in the family. Have a great day.
• Philippines
17 Feb 10
I believe they don't truly love the kid. You know if you love someone , you can't take them going away with you, you will do everything just to make them stay. I hate that news. Do you when I adopted stray cats in the street, when my father don't like it , he push me to left it where I get it. But of course I love cats, I do not do it. What more if that is a human being. I am really affected
@zed_k4 (17624)
• Singapore
14 Dec 09
I share the same sentiments as the others. She really shouldn't do that, because during her time of need, and when she was childless, the adopted child was there to give some color and sparkle to her life. And now that she already has her own child, she's sending the blessing away like that. A child is sacred; once being under a care, one should take care of the well-being really well. I think it's a bit unfair for the adopted child. Hopefully the child will be taken care of in a real loving family environment someday.
• India
9 Jan 10
Hi Zed, Thanks for your response, She shouldn't have done like this even like others i also felt bad for what she did. Anyway she could have shown the same affection and care as same before after she got her 2nd child also instead of this she sent that child back. Have a great day
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17624)
• Singapore
11 Jan 10
I couldn't agree more with you. She should be sentimental about this.. although it's in her power totally to do that, it's just so pitiful to know the child whom will be sent away.
@dpk262006 (56739)
• Delhi, India
13 Dec 09
Hi deepa! It is really a sorry state of affairs, that lady should have not have returned the child to orphanage. Who knows that when she was bringing up the adopted child, with her help and blessings, she could conceive and could give birth to her own child. It appears selfish and cruel on her part and the adopted child's soul will not forget her.
• India
28 Dec 09
Hi deepak Thanks for your response Even i felt sorry for that child but then also she should not have returned the child to the orphanage. The child used to identity them and also i don't know how these orphanage people took the child back after somebody have adopted him. Have a great day.
@dpk262006 (56739)
• Delhi, India
31 Dec 09
May God bless the child!
@audrey7 (233)
• Jamaica
22 Dec 09
I wonder what is the law like in that country that this woman did this 'terrible thing'. I am wondering if she realises what she has done. She has crushed that child. On the other hand I prefer that the child goes back where he can be properly cared for and find solace again. She seemed selfish. There should be some amount of equatity in the law for the adopted child. A question comes to mind will she really care for her own? What about the man in her life , what is his imput?
@tawny_24 (351)
• United States
6 Jan 10
that household is probably full of negativity.
• India
14 Dec 09
I am agree with you, I aslo suggest those people who left the adopted children after compliting their selfish purpose, it's really so sad and so bad that they ignore those children who don't have perents. So i also agree with you and admit you those childrent don't have right to be hopeless and ,eaning less
• India
14 Dec 09
ok
• United States
14 Dec 09
How awful for this little boy. And depending on how old he is and how long he had been aware of being in an orphanage ect must really hurt. To think someone was willing to love him, but once a biological child finally came along he was sent away. Poor kid! The family should hang their head in shame for their behavior! SHAME ON THEM!
• India
24 Mar 10
HI 3snugglebunnies, Thanks for your response Its really shame on the family who sent the child away. But luckily the child was back to orphanage, but everyone were unhappy and sad for him. Have a great day
• India
14 Dec 09
Hi, What she did is absolutely wrong. You know, in India, the authorities allow people to adopt a Child only when the couples transfers their property to this adopted child's name. This property should be enough for taking care of the child's studies, well beings etc. . So the couples can't avoid the child like nothing. In my opinion, that couples should take care of their adopted child also.
• India
7 Mar 10
Hi Mary, Thank for your response, Yes she did wrong by sending the child back. I don't know much formalities on adopting a child. She was also from India. Have a great day
@xavier_sh (222)
• Nepal
14 Dec 09
It's really a harrasing thing that hey rejected the adopted child after having another child. it must have happened that she had a new baby girl because of the fortune of that adopted child. They should not have done like that.The adopted child must get equal right as non adopted child. Either they wouldnot have adopte any child giving a light of hope for its future and they should rare the child as their own elder child they mustnot have adopted him.
• India
6 Mar 10
Hi Xavier_sh, Thanks for your response, You are rite she gave birth to a bay because of the fortune of that adopted child itself. According to me i think the both the children's should have given equal importance instead of sending them. Have a great day
• Australia
14 Dec 09
Everyone here has already expressed the disgust I feel. I believe the most responsible and definitely the most privileged task in this life is in being a mother. There is no greater joy. I also believe everything possible should be done to protect children and to shield them from abuse. Of course the mother should have kept the boy and looked after him as her own son and I fail to see how any woman could give away the child she has nurtured for two years. However, no one, including the law, can force her to keep the child - and even if it could be done, that child would suffer. Hopefully the child will not be too badly scarred and will find a loving home - a much better place than staying where he was. "Should an adopted child have the same legal rights as an non - adopted child" In most Western countries an adopted child IS considered as a natural born child in all legal matters - and should be so.
• India
24 Feb 10
Hi cloudwatcher, Thank you for your response, I agree with you the mother should have kept the boy and looked after him as her own son but she failed to do so and she sent him away from where she got him. On the other side the child can find a better place to stay where he can find better love and affection. Have a great day
@xizhilang (106)
• China
14 Dec 09
For me,i think it is so.When it comes to this,many factors are involved.Parents are great.The children should know this.
• India
24 Feb 10
Hi xizhilang, Thanks for your response. Have a great day.
@agv0419 (3027)
• Philippines
14 Dec 09
It is sad why they need to send the child simply because they have their own now. It is very selffish and it is not a valid reason. I feel sad for the baby it seems that he is unwanted because no one going to keep him. It is definetely wrong because they don't think about it very carefully before they adopt.
• India
10 Jan 10
Hi agv, Thanks for your response, Of course People should think twice before they adopt a child, in terms what should they do if they get their biological child, depending on this they can decide to adopt. It really shows the self fish of the people adopting of the child when they require and returning them when they don't need. By this the children's are losing their hopes. Have a great day.
@Porcospino (27567)
• Denmark
14 Dec 09
Some time ago I read about a similar case, there was an article in one of my magazines and there were pictures of the child who had been sent back to the orphanage. I still remember those pictures and the sadness in the boy's eyes. He felt abandoned and rejected, because the couple no longer wanted him, and it made me really sad to read the story. I don't understand how they could send him back, and I don't understand your neighbours either. It is often a difficult situation for an adopted child when the parents get an biological child, but sending back the child is the worst way to solve the problem, I think. I feel so sorry for the child.
• India
10 Jan 10
Hi porcospino, Thanks for your response, Even i felt sorry for the child, but now a days its become common adopting the child and returning them back if they get a biological child. I dont understand why people treat them like that after getting their biological child instead they can show the same love and affection to the child as before. have a great day.
@squaretile (3833)
• Singapore
14 Dec 09
oh dear that is so sad... i suppose looking on the bright side, this might be better for the child as opposed to being ill treated whilst still living with this family that obviously does not love the child anymore. I suppose she will carry it with her all her life, that she treated the adopted child like something she bought from a store that she could take and return once she had no need of it. I guess that guilt, if she has a conscience, will be her true punishment.
• India
9 Jan 10
Hi Squaretile, Thanks for your response, Even i though the same better she sent the child now itself or else she would have treated that child very badly till the child was there at home. Once he she realize what she did and she feels guilt then that will be her true punishment for her self. Have a great day.
@youless (98996)
• Guangzhou, China
14 Dec 09
This is so bad. Human beings are not products, and you can't "return" them if you don't like. I know the blood relationship is important. However, your neighbor has brought up her adopted child for two years. Two years is not a short time. I think there must be some emotions created. How can she sent back the adopted child? I know she has her own baby now, but it doesn't mean that she has to give up her adopted child. I think she should still treat her adopted child as well as her own child. Two years relationship should make them like a real family. It is too wrong and irresponsible to send her adopted child back. I love China
• India
29 Dec 09
dogs - boxer
Hi youless, Thanks for your response, I agree with you human beings are not products and can't return when they don't like. Her only problem was the baby was very much attached to the father rather than the mother. She took care of the baby well till 2 years after she got her baby she turned to be a cruel person. Have a great day.