Sconibear's Annual Christmas Poem 2009
By sconibear
@sconibear (8016)
United States
December 15, 2009 6:15pm CST
To all my friends here on the Lot, another year has come and gone and it's time once again for a Christmas poem.........Enjoy. 
[b]Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the village,
The men folk remembered,
They could no longer loot, steal nor pillage.
So it was with much dread
That they jumped in their cars,
No watching TV
No drinks at the bar.
He sat back and chuckled
And watched the women turn sour,
Frantically shopping for months...
He'd be done in an hour.
It was off to the stores
To the ones most familiar,
Home Depot and Lowe's
For granny.....a new tiller!
A claw hammer for Bobby
A power drill for Jane,
And for busy Aunt Bertha
Some waterproof stain.
He took the gifts home
And he wrapped them in foil,
Then cracked open a beer
It was a long hour of toil.
But for his most beloved
He'd give her something from the heart,
He'd build it by hand
HEY! did you just fart?
He hammered and sawed
He screwed and measured,
It would be a glorious gift
It would be one that she treasured.
He smashed his thumb, a glob of glue
He tried to make it great.
It was supposed to be a jewelry box,
Here's your paper weight![/b]
[i]
© Sconibear 2009[/i]
To all my Christian friends......MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
To all my Jewish friends......MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
To all my Muslim friends......MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
To all my Buddhist friends......MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
To all my Hindu friends......MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
To all my Pagan friends......MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
To all my Wiccan friends......MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
To all my Agnostic friends......MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
To all my Atheist friends......MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
To any friend I left out......friends......MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
To anyone who is "politically correct" and doesn't think we should say Merry Christmas........Bite ME and MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!
And to everyone.......Hope you have a very Happy New Year!!!
[b]Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the village,
The men folk remembered,
They could no longer loot, steal nor pillage.
So it was with much dread
That they jumped in their cars,
No watching TV
No drinks at the bar.
He sat back and chuckled
And watched the women turn sour,
Frantically shopping for months...
He'd be done in an hour.
It was off to the stores
To the ones most familiar,
Home Depot and Lowe's
For granny.....a new tiller!
A claw hammer for Bobby
A power drill for Jane,
And for busy Aunt Bertha
Some waterproof stain.
He took the gifts home
And he wrapped them in foil,
Then cracked open a beer
It was a long hour of toil.
But for his most beloved
He'd give her something from the heart,
He'd build it by hand
HEY! did you just fart?
He hammered and sawed
He screwed and measured,
It would be a glorious gift
It would be one that she treasured.
He smashed his thumb, a glob of glue
He tried to make it great.
It was supposed to be a jewelry box,
Here's your paper weight![/b]
[i]
© Sconibear 2009[/i]
To all my Christian friends......MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
To all my Jewish friends......MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
To all my Muslim friends......MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
To all my Buddhist friends......MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
To all my Hindu friends......MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
To all my Pagan friends......MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
To all my Wiccan friends......MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
To all my Agnostic friends......MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
To all my Atheist friends......MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
To any friend I left out......friends......MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
To anyone who is "politically correct" and doesn't think we should say Merry Christmas........Bite ME and MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!
And to everyone.......Hope you have a very Happy New Year!!! 1 person likes this
7 responses
@Rosekitty (19368)
• San Marcos, Texas
16 Dec 09
merry christmas to you
you escaped from the zoo
you don't live in olney
but i'll give you some brownies
muawww kisses and huggs to all my pets
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
16 Dec 09
Hey Sconi! Merry Christmas to one of my bestest friends here
on the Lot! You were one of my very first friends here and I
will always treasure you for that! I can't believe that we are
celebrating the second Christmas together and am so happy that
we are! So to you and my other bestest friend Missbear, I want
to wish you both the Merriest Christmas and the Happiest New
Year and may we still be together in to celebrate the next one!
Love and hugs, Opal/Leslie
1 person likes this
@owlwings (43897)
• Cambridge, England
16 Dec 09
Nice one Sconi!
Do I detect that you were at the bottle as you wrote it? The scan and the rhyme suffers a little as it progresses ... something like that recipe for Christmas Cake which includes whiskey (of course) ... but it's a marvellous and heart-warming effort.
May I print it out, fold it 8 times and use it as a door wedge? 
@owlwings (43897)
• Cambridge, England
16 Dec 09
Oh, Happy Hanuka, God Jul and whatever other Midwinter celebrations you can muster. Why don't we all forget our differences and remember that around this time of the year practically everyone celebrates with some kind of feasting ... you call it Christmas (and so do I) ... Reuben, here, calls it Hanuka and my friend Björn calls it Jul (or Yule to you) ... what's in a name, after all!
What I don't like is when people write it as Xmas ......
... thinking about it, though, 'mas' means just 'feast' or 'celebration' and 'X' stands for whatever you want it to (it's the cross of St Andrew, actually), so ...
HAPPY X-MAS
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
16 Dec 09
hi sconibear Merry Christmas I wont bite you that would be mean,besides Merry Christmas is what it is, not happy holidays as that does stink to my way of thinking.and have a very Happy New Year with more words of wisdom and wit from you in your discussions. Happy Mylotting too from me to you, I am a poet and dont know it. wow. well its getting late and I am getting sort of silly. You know come to think of it my dear departed husband did make a handmade gift for me one year, and it was what he called a needle wrap. He saw how I was always so disorganized with my sewing equipment for mending and thus. so he mAde this and it waS really quite clever. he had pins and needles and scissors and all the things one would need to do hand sewing, we were really poor that year but that gift really touched me as it was made f rom his heart.
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
16 Dec 09
And here's your scented candle. Merry Christmas to you too!
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
16 Dec 09
LOVE IT!!!!
Merry Christmas
*CHOMP*
and Yule Blessings!
Love you, you nutty Bear!
*rubs Bears bite mark*