Are you your child's best friend?

Singapore
January 3, 2010 6:49pm CST
I have a teenage daughter. She is turning 15 on 16 Jan 2010. Presently, I can get along very well with her. We can talk about anything with each other. She will talk about the boy she likes at school. I will listen and give whatever opinion and advice. We can also share music and our best one will be listening to Korean music. We will just browse the internet and somtime you-tube just to catch the latest song or music videos by famous korean boy or girl band like SHINEE, MBLAQ, Girls Generation, SS501, FTisland, 2PM and lot more. These are the best moments I have with her and sometimes my husband will get jelous. So, am I my daughter's best friend? No and I don't want to be one. I only want to be a mother who can listen, talk and just be there for her. I don't want to be the best by I will try my very best to be a good mom. Also, being a mother will let my daughter know when I can say 'NO' and she has to respect that decision. I just hope that this beautiful relationship that I have with my daughter will remain even as she grows into a beautiful adulthood. So, are you your child's best friend?
2 people like this
14 responses
@apples99 (6562)
• United States
4 Jan 10
Well I'm not a mom yet, but I'm a daughter when I was a little girl my mom was not my friend she was focused more on discipline and just raising me and keeping me safe, she was not my best friend, but now that I'm an adult our relationship has changed and we have become more like best friends shes still my mother and I'll always know and remember that but we are also friends now very close friends. Now that I'm older I understand her a bit better, and I think that when a child is little or a teen they need someone that will look out for them teach them and keep them safe and love them, and I think that in the end the child will respect there parents more, I dont think its posible to be a best friend to a child while maintaining that line of respect because if a child sees there parents as an equal they tend to lose site of who's in charge and who knows best. with that said my Mom and I talked about just about everything when I was a teen openly but also I understood that she was the mom and that I had to abide by her rules because there was a line, so now that I'm older I'm glad I had a mom instead of a friend because I have a new friend in her now. but I must also add that everyone has different parenting styles and they have the right to rise there kids how they see fit, and mean no disrespect to any parents out there these are just my personal opinions.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
4 Jan 10
Very well said, apples99. I am sure you will be a great mom. Thumbs up!
@apples99 (6562)
• United States
12 Jan 10
Well thank you very much you are very kind, this is a really compelling topic.
@chazzief (237)
• Malaysia
1 Feb 10
Mom and dad were quite strict when we're younger, but as we grow older (their children are between 19-24 this year) and they became less stricter, even though they still arrange our life. We can laugh and talk like friends, but there's always line between us that is respect towards our parents.
@KompitaPita (2053)
• Bulgaria
4 Jan 10
Hi, Sarina. I want to be my son's best friend and I really want my kid to share everything/well...not everything/ with me. I never had a friend in my mother's face ... if you know what I mean. When I have read that you want not to be a friend and you want to be only a mother to your child, I remembered how I had never been able to share nothing with my mom... She never understand me right and she can't think like my friend... so you better be a friend and only a mother. My soon is too young..he is only 2 year old, but I prefer to be his friend when he grown up...not only a mother.
• Singapore
4 Jan 10
Personally, I believe as a parent you can be very close to your child. This is very crucial when the child is at a young tender age. They tend to cling and depend on us and we should provide and guide them with care and love. As they mature into a teen, it is very much different. This is where we need to draw a line. My teenage daughter understands that. We can talk about anything but she knows I am still her mom. Whatever mom says, do or decide is for her best interest. If I am her best friend, I don't think I can be firm in my actions. And like OreoCookie3 has correctly put it "...friends may say yes yes yes when they should be saying no".
1 person likes this
• Bulgaria
5 Jan 10
Sarina, Oreo, you're right and I am agree with both of you. And the only thing that I can add is that mothers /and fathers of course/ sometimes overdo... in an effort to protect their child they are tend to ruin their childrens life.... That is why it is good just like Oreo said - to find balance between the parent and the friend... 50/50 - be friend and try to look the other side, but keep being mother.
@drakesuyat (1063)
• Philippines
4 Jan 10
my kids are very young at the moment. they are still on the stage of being confused on what is right and wrong. im a disciplinarian dad so most of the time, i get their attention when doing something that will hurt them. im sure most of the parents do the same thing. thus they consider me not a best friend for them. although i always play and enjoy with them but there are times that kids are kids and they're not aware of the consequence of their work. they always think of things as play or games. although i believe that when they reach the exact age, they'll be more comfortable with my company coz im a real open minded person. happy mylotthing sarinahahmad
• Singapore
4 Jan 10
Hey, I'm sure your children will learn to appreciate you more and more when they grow. When I was a kid, I used to think that my dad was very stern but as I reached into my teen, I began to relate more to him. Now, married with 3 kids, I miss him a lot. Just continue to have fun!
@jewels49 (1783)
• United States
4 Jan 10
We only have an 18 year old and an 8 year old left in the nest and while I would consider myself close to my kids, we are not friends. I am their parent and they have their own friends. My kids have always came to me with questions and their problems and we have enjoyed a level of trust that I know alot of their friends don't have with their own parents. But I have always been careful to not cross the line between parent and buddy..I am the one who makes the rules and I am the one that will enforce them if they choose to break them. If we were friends I'm sure that relationship would have ended the first time I took the car keys away from one of them, by maintaining parent status I have managed to maintain the relationships.
• Singapore
4 Jan 10
Yes, jewels49, we can be close with our children but in the end we have to take charge if need be.
@huaihuai (59)
• China
4 Jan 10
Hi,now i am still a girl,not a mother,but i think i will want to become a good mother and be my child's best friend,i like children very much,i will play with them and study with them .when they are young,i will tell stories to let them go sleep,and i will teach them how to be a good person . i am so exciting that in the future i will have my own child.
• Singapore
4 Jan 10
Good luck! In the meantime, continue to grow and learn. Your experiences will helps your future. Happy mylotting!
• United States
4 Jan 10
i also have a 16 year ol a boy, im not his best friend i dont label myself that yes he can and does come to me to talk and share things with me and im proud of him for doing that because most teenage boys close out thier moms and dads, but i am a mother first and i make sure that he understands that, even if he doesnt agree with me i tell he doesnt have to lik what i say but i am his mother and not his friend, i know it sounds harsh every one has a method that works for them but ive seen how being a friend full time to your kids and not being a mom can turn out. my friend had that problem with her two teenage daugthers. i also have a nine year old daugther and i show her the sam way i show my son.its up tous parents to see and know who far to let the friend and mom line go.
• Singapore
4 Jan 10
Yes, wandalie44, I agree with you. Personally I believe, no matter how close the children and the parents, we must set a boundary and be firm with our decisions.
@Buchi_bulla (8304)
• India
4 Jan 10
Of course, I am my daughter's best friend. Even my husband is jealous of it. From her childhood, she shares all her experiences and thoughts with me. We talk about music, books that we read, people we meet and all the bands names and their music like Abba, Back street boys, No doubt, Bonium, Mariah careh etc. are all introduced to me by her only. Now she is married and even now she calls up everyday and we talk about all these things. She herself says I am her best companion.
• Singapore
4 Jan 10
I am so happy for you. I hope and pray my children will continue our close relationship when they grow up or even when they got married just like yours do.
• Malaysia
4 Jan 10
Well, i am not really elligible to respond to this discussion because i dont have any kids yet. But i would like to share that my parents are my best friends. I share almost everything with them; music i liked, friends i made, pranks i put and etc. I really appreciate that my parents are always there whenever i need them. They have been very supportive and informative everytime i need help. I think that every parent should try their best to be their children's best friend, all the time if can. I understand there are times where authority is needed when things are hard to be explained to the kid due to their lack of understanding of the world. But please at least try, be reasonable: ) Happy Mylotting
• Singapore
4 Jan 10
You must be lucky to have such great parents and I am sure you will be a great parent too one day.
@shibham (17019)
• India
10 Feb 10
Hi, i have no child till now but i wanna to be his/her friend. Lol
@shibham (17019)
• India
10 Feb 10
Hi, i have no child till now but i wanna to be his/her friend. Lol
@chazzief (237)
• Malaysia
1 Feb 10
you reminded me of my mom. We might not show our feelings directly, or talk with each other often, but she always catch up with our latest trends and favourite, and my dad too. They know that we're big fans of Korean music and mom even have her own favourites such as SS501, Shinee and UKiss, and dad knows Rain, and a big fan of some korean action dramas. As a daughter, I'm happy to have parents where we can share gossips and watch our favourite shows together. It make us more comfortable to open our hearts and talk about anything with them during commercial breaks while watching our favourite shows like 2 Days One Night and Music Bank. Our friends are envious because we share our interests with our parents. I'm sure your daughter will appreciate it, and if I were her, I'll be proud of you! and we might not be our child's best friend, but enough to be someone that they can turn to every time they have problems, or when they need someone to talk with. You should try enjoy the music too while trying to catch up with her interest ^^
• China
4 Jan 10
No,I do not,because I have not married,Hei hei,but I will later when the father and the children to become friends
@tariqali (15)
• India
4 Jan 10
well first of all this not big problem sister it happen at this age i will advice u just behave normally with her and gel with her this is due to lack of communication between u and ur daughter just pray to allah all will be well give her more time inshahllah all will b welll i willl pray for uuu
• China
4 Jan 10
I think that every parent should try their best to be their children's best friends....