Do you find you have no more in common with an old friend?

I have had friends from school but we all drifted apart except for a few of us. We may live far apart but we always still talk on the phone or through letters and make sure we are all doing good or what has been going on in our life. We make sure we catch up and see how things are. Some times your not as close as you once were when you were younger. Things do change at times.

I've found it even more shocking when I've gotten together with an old friend of mine from high school, and now, about 10 years later, where we haven't even really seen eachother, still have the same interests, and love to do the same things. I didn't think that was really possible. Doesn't time change us all? Perhaps if you find you have nothing in common with an old friend, maybe that means that you weren't seeing that person for who they really were back in your older times of friendship.

Hello Java. I think that it is very important for friends to have something in common as a bond for them to maintain their friendship for long. If nothing in common could be found any more, it is hard to say that the friendship will ever last. Besides, you know, childhood friends will grow up with different interests...

Hi ! Java09 I belive that old friends sometimes do drift apart,as the time pases. But my experience is whenever an old friend meets I feel same happiness as it was before. So what i belive old friends should meet more often to keep distances apart and the richness alivethank you for starting the discussion

I think hat it is quite normal that similar things happen, first of all when we are kids we mostly have the same problems, except if someone has really bad parents, mostly a child has problems with school, boys or girls, grades, other kids so more or less all the children have the same problems but as we grow up the problems become different, people start expressing their opinion, they start to treat people differently. I have this friend who was my best friend for several years, when I say several, I mean 10 years or so. She was always a kind of pain in the a** but I was used to her so we were friends. Then we went to different towns to college and we kept saw each other for holidays and in the summer but I realised I started avoiding her. I still do it, she is one of those people that say everything they think and they don't care if they are going to hurt someone with their words, she always wants everything her way, and doesn't accept NO for an answer. We even got into a few fights and I told her that I can't stand her any more because she was the most difficult person I ever met and that she didn't care about anyone except herself. She kept being a pain in the a** because not even that was enough to make her stop calling me or being my friend. The fact is that I don't ant to be her friend any more, I can't stand her complain about always being without the money...and she hes like 5 times more money then I do, I can't stand her saying bad stuff about her boyfriend when I know that she is a pain in the butt for me so I can imagine what a big pain in the butt to him she is, and the worst thing is that I can't stand her stupid judgments any more. She really has no brain at all but continuously expresses her opinion about everything, weather she was asked for it or not, she never has anything good to say about anything and I know that she spreads rumors everywhere so I try to avoid her as much as I can, although it is impossible because she just doesn't believe I don't like her because she thinks she is the nicest and most intelligent person in the world and that everyone adores her. Now even when I told her: ''Well I don't like you and I don't consider you my friend'' didn't make her leave me alone. The fact that we were friends in elementary school and in high school doesn't necessarily means I have to still like her today.

I swore I've found my bestfriends when I was in sixth grade only to feel so much different from them as time went by. In high school we stayed in the same school but were separated into different sections. So they started to mingle with other people . I did too. In college, we went to different schools, causing the gap to widen even more. We still hang out together if we have the time and chance. Two of them are already in another country, and I bet we will be having lesser common stories to tell except maybe reminisce childhood memories.

I definitely agree with you. I do have colleagues and friends whom I still have constant communication with them, but as what you have said, time goes by and I do find myself different and nothing much in common now with them. I do believe that they do have an influence on the friends they have been everyday or to those who have much more time being around with them. I have been living in a country away from my friends, so the fact that my friends and I communicate only through chat and emails. Although the communication is there, but the bonding isn't the same anymore. I think it is only them that change and not me because I do treat all my friends the same. Although most of my friends, regarding their status in life now, they do change in lifestyle and most specially in their character, that's what I can see happening. But cheer up, life has to go on right. Just always be there with your friends who needs you.

yep....Ive actually been thinking about that, I have a ''friend'' who ive known since i was 3, We are both adults now and i really cant be bothered with her anymore!, I had a child at 16 so naturally i grew up quite quickly and since then myself and his dad have revolved our lives around working, kid, holidays, Whereas she got herself a boyfriend that i didnt really like, He seemed to control her and made the mistake of treating her like this in front of me she also fell pregnant but after her 1st born she was pregnant again within 2 months! She hasnt bothered to go back to work and because her controlling boyfriend works basically till 1am every day she never even leaves the house. Then everytime she does have a spare 5 minutes she drinks and i dont drink very often anymore so the compatibility between us has sunk! We also used to dress very chav (when we were young) obviously now i dont dress like that but she does! It really embarrasses me! I also gave her nearly 400 pounds in designer clothing from my son that was in perfect condition and she wrecked all of it like she cant be bothered to wash and iron things! I think thats what bothers me the most the fact that she hasnt bother to grow up and all she thinks about is herself when shes got two kids that come before her! The last time we spoke we fell out because i asked her wether she thought it was right that she smoked in the house and with her children on her lap? she replyed ''well you smoke!'' I reminded her that i had to endure the cold back garden whilst smoking as i didnt want my son breathing second hand smoke! She replyed ''my mother smoked with me there and it didnt harm me!'' Im so disgusted with her behaviour and im defo thinking of cutting ties now!

As far as I am concerned, I have found that I have little common with my odl friend who I usually have a good relationship with. I can usually talk with him what happnened beside us . We can share most of our daily life together. The time that we are together usually can have a lot of fun.

People change with time. There are some friends of mine who are completely different from me but these were the same people with whom I have shared so many years of my life,so many sorrows,so many joyful moments! Its hard to accept and even harder to accommodate.Life has to move on nonetheless,we have to move forward,sometimes when these people are very close to us its difficult to go on without them and its all the more difficult to keep pace with them! But its just part of life,you never know that both of you might change again and get to relive those old days! Its the love and the hope that binds these relations!

I've lost almost all the friends from my childhood. Such a pity . . . One of the reasons is that we have nothing in common anymore. And our ways went in different directions. We were going trough changes and we lost connection. I really miss some palls which I know until we were just kids. But we can not turn back time.