What's the best way to deal with insecurities?

Philippines
January 7, 2010 9:58am CST
I think almost everyone have their own insecurities or experience being insecure or one way of another. Even the great speaker, famous athletes, celebrity actors/actresses or famous person feel nervous in their thinking and in dealing that they are also affected draining them mentally and physically. Their are instances when you are insecure on the way you look, on your job, with your peers and with your reputation in the society. Definitely, it is only a fear that is make up by your mind which gives a lot of worrying. What kind of insecurities do you worries a lot? [b]How do you cope with your insecurities? What you do to keep you going on with your life despite behind on your mind, something is telling you to give up or to discontinue.[b]
8 people like this
22 responses
@kun2349 (23464)
• Singapore
8 Jan 10
U are right, everybody do face some kind of insecurities out there, be it for whatever matters.. ANd all those insecurities are really in the mind.. IF we think, we can, there's nothing to be scared about.. haha =D And if i'm faced with insecurities, i will try to face up with it, bravely, and never run away from it!! Only thru facing it heads on, then we will overcome it, forever, and be a stronger man!! haha =D
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Jan 10
Hi kun, that right and the ghost of insecurities is the work itself of the mind as the things one put into it are the one who creates the worries when one felt being belittled or insulted but without first hand knowledge of the real situation. Many factors contributes to a lot of insecurities which thorough the passing years remains which one could not be avoided as it is a part of reality. Insecurities makes anyone feel stronger or weak depending on the way he/she approach a situation dealing with it negatively or positively. When one learn to bypass it it is then one learn to be more mature in her.his dealing with the obscurity which life have to offer then it is then under the person control to manage her/his life as you mention facing it rather than being flighty which is a good attitude to reckon on.
3 people like this
@Canellita (12056)
• United States
7 Jan 10
This is going to sound trite, but the best way to deal with insecureties is just to get over them. You can't live a life that is aboult dwelling on fear. Insecurity the fear that you are not good enough at something. You should faith in yourself and choose to be confident.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Jan 10
That very true and insecurities are present to make every person strong and they are challenges which everyone should need to face as they could inspire a person to struggle hard to reach her/his goals as letting it go could also meant cowardice to face each day trials.
2 people like this
@megamatt (14323)
• United States
7 Jan 10
There can be something positive to be gained for everything. Even those things that we feel insecure about. Think of our insecurities as something we have to improve on. I do all of the time. I think of how I can improve on what I am insecure about. Also, I think of what's going right as well. I find that helps me deal with my problems. I have some days where I wish everything would go away but I deal with it and I may learn something.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Jan 10
That right, insecurities are part and parcel of life which everyone have her/hos own shares of stories to shares and to tell which may inspire other people to face insecurities to solve them than to to runaway from it. Like what you mention insecurities is not a barrier for demolition but a step to welcome any improvement which need to face in order to be strong. thanks
1 person likes this
@lahari (133)
• India
7 Jan 10
The best way to fight your insecurities is self belief and hard work! No matter how good you are in your specialized field if you don't believe in yourself no one is going to believe what you say or do. Hard work is the most important ingredient in your self confidence,if you work hard then only you will get the amount of confidence that you need to pull it off! Things becomes easier if you love the work you are doing,you have to believe in what you are saying then only others will believe it!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Jan 10
That is being patience is the key as their are intelligent people who never make it to become successful in the outside world as being smart both word and action are more important values to learn to outwit the insecurities hurdles. It is also like having first to believe in yourself as absence of it lead to pit fall having been unbeliever of own ability is like a handicapped which is a barrier toward progress. thanks.
2 people like this
@bjcyrix (6910)
• Philippines
8 Jan 10
Best way to deal with insecurities is through support, from friends or family. The person can try to ignore the cause of these insecurities but that is easier said than done, so with the help or support groups, any kind of insecurity will be a lot easier to bear and deal with. Ultimately, the person will just not mind such causes of insecurities because of the positive distraction of friends and family, thus resulting to eliminating having such insecurities in the first place. Its just better to focus more on the positive side of everything and of oneself as a way to deal with these kinds of things. As for me, I just let go. I let go of everything. I didnt care what other people think of what I wear, what I look like, and what I like. I ignored reprimands of wearing certain type of clothes, or trying to be more like a girl. I didnt care about the things that other people have that I dont. If they have it good for them, and I dont, thats okay with me. I guess I just became content with what I have. As long as what I do, think, and have wouldnt harm anyone in anyway, Ill live my life the way I would like to live it. I just became me.
• Philippines
8 Jan 10
well, Bj that a worth pondering on your side and I do appreciate you deal with insecurities by having a support systems which better options rather than trying to resolve your own worries in your own discretion. As you mention thinking positively being optimistic most of the time minimize the risk of being pull down by negativity and act normally as you are without putting too much pressure on your side which is better as no one really know exactly how you feel except yourself so eventually it is you alone who know most which probable solution effectively works for you. On other hand acting to be just yourself is far better than trying to meet the society requirements which deviation from the other people normally have done just to get the other people approval.
3 people like this
@bjcyrix (6910)
• Philippines
15 Jan 10
It is indeed only us who knows which ways are the best ways to deal with these kinds of things. Though, it does come from the self first. If we ourselves dont want to be helped, no matter how much others are there for us, they would just be wasting time and energy unless they find a way to make us see things differently.
• Philippines
10 Mar 10
Yeah,because it is self who know the impact of those activities that have effect on self it may be a positive or a negative ones but is the matter on how to dealt with the difficult situation one could learn from it and cultivate sounds reasoning to resolve it with outmost logical thinking which appropriate to the situation you are involves with and in case you could not handle it by yourself it does not hurt to ask other for help.
1 person likes this
@airakumar (1555)
• India
11 Mar 10
Hi Neelian, I think every body has some insecurity in life some point of time. Well, as it is a sense of feeling worthless, where you condemn yourself so badly and find it hard to accept when good comes your way. There are a number of things that help us feel confident, even when we find ourselves in new situations that stretch us out of our normal mode of living. Feeling connected to a Higher Power, having a sense that we are able to deal with adversity, feeling safe, and knowing that everything we need is at hand are all elements of confidence. Most of us tend to run the opposite direction or use a strategy that allows us to avoid the situation or issue. We all have self-protective conditioning that helps us stay in denial or avoidance. Insecurity is also the sister of jealousy. The best way to deal with it is simple. The security of knowing ourselves as perfect gives us the opportunity to feel secure in our responses to life. Important is to trust oneself and lead clean lives, then it’s easy to allow others to be who they are without fear of you embarrassing them. And life is full of little misunderstandings, coincidences, accidents, and innocent mistakes. But, an insecure individual will tie all of these daily events together in the worst possible way.
• Philippines
13 Mar 10
hi aira, It is a period of extreme depression and everyone have experience sometimes in their life the biggest turning point of events where they are most affected that some call it quits while some fight back despite of feeling bad. Those things you mention are relevant if one only know to handle a situation and resolve it bu itself and one things for sure if the problem is very tremendous may need to consult friends or any person closer to heed their advices or suggestion or else when everything fails just like you mention nothing beat to pray over to the Creator since communication by prayer is a very calming process it helps the mind of any troubled person to realize his goals and identify his weaknesses then work toward it to make the negative points into a positive ways by taking it as a challenges to make life and self a new person full of vigor and strong headed fully know his potential and its uses.
@applefreak (3131)
• Singapore
10 Jan 10
hmm, i can't think of anything that makes me feel insecure. i guess i'm full of myself in a way. i cannot understand why would one feel insecure? my mantra is 'accept it or change it'. if i can change it, i'll do whatever it takes. if i can't change it, i'll just accept it as it is. insecure people tend to give too much credit to others. who is this 'others' that we should care so much about? where is this 'others' when we are down and having panic attacks? since i don't care about what 'others' think, i don't feel insecure in any way.
• Philippines
12 Jan 10
hi applefreak, well said, that the right key words accept or change as one feel insecure when one life feel empty and full of disappointment with lots of challenges underway but become useless when one does not know to utilize insecurities in a positive manner should inspire and not as harbinger of misfortunes. When a person becomes feel so insecure she does not know to appreciate the beauty around her and the simple blessing it drives her toward oblivion of frustration unless she divert her attention to keep busy achieving her goals to avoid procrastination. it may sounds quite difficult but on the long round it would feel so nice having to minimize insecurities to fully enjoy the things which already around us it is then one could feel peace within self to avoid being guilty for failing to achieve perfection.
1 person likes this
@flower21 (766)
• Philippines
9 Jan 10
learn to forget then continue to move forward. insecurities are part of life if you could not beat it them then just let it pass and start every day with a smile, just think positive and everything would be alright.
• Philippines
9 Jan 10
yup, that very true without it then life would be dull with no challenges as i do think insecurities are their to help us identify the weakest point and makes the strongest points more alive.
1 person likes this
• India
8 Jan 10
Dear friend, Everyone of us has some feeling of insecurity or the other at a given time. Nobody in this world feels himself or herself like being fully secured. Some have insecurity of one type or some of other type. But the best thing to deal with these insecurities is to go in for the prayers to God. Think that God is always with you. He protects you always. He is Omni-potent, Omni-present. He takes care of us all. Take His shelter and you will yourself realize from your inner spirits that your insecurities have gone away.
• Philippines
9 Jan 10
Yeah, that very true as insecurities are part of every one life as this world is full of imperfections and whether we like it or not their is a need to face all trials and take them as a challenges. It is then a person discover the levels of his strength and identify his weakness then work out hard to minimize the weakest point. I do agree with you with one is full of worries and no matter one think to resolve problem it is still there even if one sleep then wake up in the morning, the insecurities still there. With communion with God, one could find a friend and becomes calm with inner peace as long as one do not think too much of the problem every thing would be resolve once the solution is found. thanks.
2 people like this
@unique16 (1531)
• United States
8 Jan 10
Hello Neelienoscet, My insecurities is financial money woes. My ex cannot pay because he did soemthing wrong at previuos job and got fired and cannot collect unemployment because of what he did. I worry my youngest daughter age 17 will not get into college. I already have older daughter in college. The loans or plus loans you need a co-signer and my credit is shot because of lack of money and car loan for oldest daughter and bills not being paid on time. I am doing better on getting bills paid so hard and be so very disipline to stay on track. My other worries of not ever have a special partner in my life...minor to my money problems. Thanks and Have a Great day Sincerely Unique16
• Philippines
9 Jan 10
hi unique16, well, almost everyone i think worries about financial matter as the recession still going on and not yet cease where almost everyone are experiencing financial drain. Life is full of challenges but as long as you do not lose hope everything would be alright in God time and i wish you all the best in life. thanks
1 person likes this
@bingchen (1126)
• China
8 Jan 10
i think that i should keep cool and find a good way to deal with it.actually i meet this problem and make feel fear for it.i dont know how to do in my mind.because i am woman who face a man's threat and speak that he would do anything if i could not do what he want.it make me fear,so i keep cool and negociate with him and hope that i can find a good way to deal with it.finally i would be willing to give some money to this bad man to deal with it.sometimes we could met this insecurities,we should keep cool to face this and make us safety.
• Philippines
8 Jan 10
Yeah, that a fine attitude to remain calm when one is suffering from lots of insecurities. Though, in your case you face your insecurities and it never stop since you feel afraid that the said person continue to harass you if you never submitted to his demands. But if you have other solution to let it stop then you should plan ahead that in the near future this bad man would no longer bother you.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Jan 10
I only insecured the way I look physically. I am chubby and when I am with someone very thin or sexy I had a feeling I look like a ball, so I moved away. I am petite also so when someone is so tall I look down instead of looking up. Sometimes I do understand the people are different, there are purpose why there are small, thin, fat and tall. No matter how people would look like they are still human being. I am dealing with insecurities everytime I mingle with different people, but what i tell to my mind is eventhough I am not pretty , not sexy and not tall, I have a kind heart. I am responsible, I love my family, I am strong, sometimes smart, I am helpful and usefull, I think I am cute, I have many friends. I just tell it to myself to make me feel okay. Insecurity is just a product of mind, even though you are not what you think you are, you still have purpose why you are here, no matter how fat you are, small you are.
• Philippines
8 Jan 10
hi greychunny, Wow, for me you look just an average not looking chubby as you describe, maybe it the way you feel but you really look perfectly normal. Basically, insecurities of all sort still pretty normal as no one is perfect all could find imperfection even the best models when being interview admitted to hate something on their body which have flaws. That the best things you as a genuine person have the best to offer having a kind heart which matter at the end is more important than having artificial beauty and superficial attitudes.
2 people like this
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
8 Jan 10
I think alot of us deal with this issue on a daily basis. I think we must stay active in our own life and do the things that we enjoy the most that makes our life fulfilled and makes us happy. That is how we overcome our insecurities. We have to put one foot forward every day.
• Philippines
8 Jan 10
Yup, that right one need to go on and never insecurities stop you from doing what one have started as life is a continuous journey. The mightier survives over the weakest link and i think everyone have their own ways to manage their own insecurities resolving it never allowing it to dominate their entire lives. thanks
2 people like this
@Opal26 (17686)
• United States
8 Jan 10
Hey neelian! I think that you have to try to get over your insecurities the best way you know how! You sometimes have to try to hide them or ignore them in order to survive! I know that sometimes it isn't easy, but it has to be done! Sometimes if you show your true hand you are showing too much volnorability and then people can see too much inside you! You never want anyone too see too much of you! You never want anyone to see the parts of you that are the weakest! So, if you want to really stay strong and deal with your "softer side", try to keep as much of it to yourself as you can and always stay one step ahead of everyone else, if you can!
• Philippines
8 Jan 10
hi opal, Yup, and i am on the way of seeing things in the right perspectives now days. I do try to be silent or quiet for sometimes as I as much I could have to resolve itself of my worries though if it too much it is then I ask for others advices or assistance for I know their wisdom is greater than mine. Yeah, I do agree with the things you say it is fine to have set aside some strong points save for self empowerment not letting other see the weakest point all the time as they could get through it may left me with no choice at all..Thanks.
2 people like this
@jezzmay (1845)
• United States
7 Jan 10
I deal with my insecurities thru my faith in God. I use what the word says. It says in 2 Tim.1:7 That God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of love, power and a sound mind. It also says in Psalms 139:14 We are fearfully and wonderfully made, and marvelous is God's work (us). This is what gives me confidence. Have a great day.
• Philippines
8 Jan 10
Yeah, i do think so the only way to keep a one self calm to have peace of mind is to have a strong faith with the creator and that would be way to manage insecurities. As when one have to control the worries after one have reduce the conflicts still they exist the next day and one need a lot of strong spiritual power to overcome insecurities so that it would not be over burden but accept it as a part of reality without insecurities the challenge of living lack luster as one to be mature need to undergo many life trials before one become successful in her/his goals. thanks
2 people like this
@olisaur (1931)
• United States
7 Jan 10
I think the best way to deal with insecurities is to have a good support system- friends and family that will be there for you no matter what. It can be really hard to deal with being self concious, its not something you can just "get over" easily, and having people to support you when you feel down is very good for you.
• Philippines
8 Jan 10
Yup, that may be one of the solution as other people do not know to handle their insecurities which lead them to act like a green monster dominate by jealousy, pride, envy and avarice which are sinful things if one do not know to control their impulses it would lead to many conflicts of interest. As for the other people who know to deal with their own insecurities they manage to resolve it on their own way without even approaching or heeding other people advices, because they are so mature and they know the right solution to their problem as they work toward its resolution which benefit her/him at the end. thanks
2 people like this
• Philippines
7 Jan 10
You have to accept who you really are even the ugliest part of you not just the pretty fact. then, all your insecurities would be gone. you just need to trust yourself and your own belief you could do even better than other have already accomplish.
• Philippines
8 Jan 10
yeah, that also the way i envision myself as to face the insecurities definitely one As long as one is ready to face it as a sign too of maturity which everyone need to learn to be call a fully grown up man/woman of good examples which may be look out by some youngsters as a good role model able to overcome their insecurities which instead of treating it as a weakness it becomes an inspiration to make an effort to struggle hard to reach h=whatever they like to pursue in life. thanks.
1 person likes this
@amyson (3509)
• Philippines
7 Jan 10
The best ways is to face them and accept it as part of reality. To feel insecure to something is only normal it becomes dangerous when too much focus is given that it damage and result in lack of confidence.
• Philippines
8 Jan 10
That right and when you mean having to face it face to face not the other way of being flighty as it is a sign of cowardice. then, to become a better person insecurities should be treated as a challenges rather than disruption to make a person move forward to reach out his/her goals when one persist succeed exist. thanks
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84069)
• Shingle Springs, California
7 Jan 10
giving yourself honest compliments when you do something well?
• Philippines
7 Jan 10
that very fine ideas which could cheer up a moody outlook and could divert one focus on the worries toward a positive self reinforcement to think only of the good things to benefit one self.
2 people like this
@mrfdg1972 (3238)
• Philippines
7 Jan 10
hello, insecurities maybe part of our life, and yes i do feel insecurities sometimes, what i do is take that insecure feeling and turn it to motivating feeling, its kind of hard at first but its very effective, like when i see a new car model, ok i tell myself i have to work harder to be able to afford a new car, and sometimes i say he/she may have a big big house, lots of cars and plenty of money, but then they dont enjoy life coz they always work 24hr a day. Accepting the facts and turning those facts into visions is how i deal with life insecurities.
• Philippines
8 Jan 10
That fine attitude of yours, mrfdg, and it is a good thing not to feel jealous of other success because they acquire it through their own hard work which is very true. And instead of imprison self in the worries of feeling insecure it is best to work towards your goals as you already mention which a key to success and empowerment. thanks.
1 person likes this