Do you think it is possible to ever really safe or is it just an illusion?

@sharra1 (6341)
Australia
January 7, 2010 8:52pm CST
I realised the other night that we can never really feel safe and it was a bit scary. We need to feel safe in order to function. If I gave into those fears I would be unable to function, would be too scared to leave my house and yet even in my house I am not really safe. Despite knowing this I rationalise that I am as safe as I can possibly be. As a woman I am well aware that I could never defend myself against a male attacker if I was ever seriously attacked. Men are stronger than women and no matter how well you can fight that will always be true. As an individual I am aware that I would not be safe from a group. This is true of males and females. How about you? Do you think it is possible to feel safe? Is it a young person's thing and as we grow older we start to realise that we are much more vulnerable that we used to think?
2 people like this
7 responses
@GardenGerty (115123)
• United States
8 Jan 10
I feel safer now than I did as a young person. I am more in control of my feelings, usually. I have some concept of how to take care of myself. If I find myself being overly fearful, I know I need to do some changing to make me feel safe again.
• Canada
9 Jan 10
It is unfortunate that you do not feel safe. I think you can make the dicision to feel safe and that will go a long way to giving you at least peace of mind. Look around you and see how unlikely it is that you will be harmed in any way. It also will become a habit of thought that you are safe. When you finally belive you are safe you will not attract dangerous situations to yourself.
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@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
10 Jan 10
I do feel safe within the bounds that I have set for myself. If I did not feel safe I would be unable to function. The point I was making was that no matter how safe we think we are and how safe we make our homes, we can never be truly 100% safe. We can only minimise the danger. The only way we could every be truly safe was if human nature changed and people started caring for each other. Unfortunately that is not the way the world is. There were always a small percentage of people who hurt others just because they enjoyed causing pain but now that percentage has increased and seems to getting worse. In the last year there have been occasions where people have gatecrashed parties in their hundreds. So many and so violent that police could not stop them. This is all the result of friends calling friends on their mobiles and all of them converging on the house where the party was. Many of them did not know each other or the people who had the party and when asked to leave they assaulted the people who had been invited. I am talking about 18 year old birthday parties. It has happened about 4 times in the last year. This is an example of the contempt that the young generation now hold for anyone. When I was a girl no one gatecrashed parties like this. Technology is helping these people turn into mindless gangs and that is very dangerous.
• Australia
10 Jan 10
Actually, sharra1 ia a little wrong here. The sixties particularly, at least in my circles, was gatecrashers paradise, and I don't imagine things have changed much since then in that respect. The difference was that there was very little malicious damage or violence at these events compared with today, and police could and did break the parties up quickly and relatively peacefully. It is the much increased incidence of mindless violence that makes today far less safe than then, and her points about the change in society are valid. Lash
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@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
12 Jan 10
I stand corrected on the gate crasher point. I was fairly young in the 60's and was not aware of large groups of gate crashers. I am concerned though about the attitude of the young. I encountered it first when I was teaching and it seems to be getting worse. They hold everyone outside of themselves with nothing but contempt. I think this is very sad. Individualism taken to its extreme. They care for nothing but themselves and their pleasure. I wonder where this will lead our society in the future.
@dawnald (84075)
• Shingle Springs, California
8 Jan 10
There are bad people out there. There are natural disasters. There are diseases. The are bad drivers. There are mechanical failures. So sure, you're never totally safe, even at home. But you do your best to take precautions for things and hopefully that will keep you safe. I don't really worry about what might be, I just enjoy the time I have and hope for the best.
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@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
9 Jan 10
Well said. I quite agree with you. We take the best precautions we can and then go on with our lives. I do not spend my life worrying about it either and I do enjoy my life as much as I am able to.
@syankee525 (6293)
• United States
8 Jan 10
one thing i can agree with females have it harder then males, but knowing your sirroundings and who is around, but females can learn how to protect themself from an attack from a male. because one place a female can hit or kick a male at will hurt them (between the legs) but i dont allow fear to take control over me no matter where i go. i do go to some bad area and even where i live at isnt all that safe. but learning how to protect yourself in many ways. if you are worry about protect yourself i would say why not take some self defence classes to teach you to protect yourself
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@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
9 Jan 10
That is true. I have always wondered why some women walk across parks at night when that is the worst place to be alone. I have always minimised my risk by staying away from dangerous areas. While it is possible to defend yourself by kicking between legs, and that is the only place a women can cause hurt, it is very hard to do. I knew a martial arts instructor once who said that being able to fight does not mean you will win. He pointed out that while he was skilled in fighting he was still at risk in an attack, especially if the attacker is stronger. Nothing is certain and that is the point I was making. We can make ourselves as safe as possible but there will always be an element of risk as long as human beings continue to be aggressive.
@p1kef1sh (45638)
8 Jan 10
I feel pretty safe in a known environment but there are some places that I have been to that I would quite happily not return to. Certain suburbs of London at night. Some London Underground stations. Various pubs etc etc. Generally though I have an "eye" for trouble and try to avoid it. But that is physical safety. When it comes to mental security then I'm all over the place. Generally though, the older that I get the safer I feel.
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@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
9 Jan 10
Hi p1ke. I do the same. I must admit that it makes me wary of strangers until I have had a chance to assess them. We can make as lives as safe as possible but that is all we can do. It seems to me that the world was a much safer place when I was a child than it is now. Or is that just my age showing.
@Hatley (164237)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Jan 10
hi sharra1 go to some self defense classes and learn some basics as there are ways we can protect ourselves, and then we as women will feel empowered. for one thing women can scream louder and higher than men and stop some hoods, while there are other physical things we can do to really save our selves. we might not be as physically strong as men but we just might be smarter than a jerk bent on hurting us. I went to several classes and even as an elderly woman I do feel more safe because of what I did learn. a lot of junior colleges teach these defense classes and they are worth it.Too a lot of idiots wont attack elderly women as we are supposedly according to a lot of people, has beens once we reach sixty. he he.
1 person likes this
@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
8 Jan 10
I do feel empowered and I know a little about self defence and the best techniques to use if attacked. Now I am also more aware of the dangers in life and probably less trusting than I used to be. I always thought that women scream louder but so many people lose there voice when afraid and so never scream. Maybe the smart thing is to carry one of those alarms that emits a loud noise.
@savypat (20245)
• United States
8 Jan 10
I am safe on a level that nothing can touch as for the rest of me I can only use the law of attraction and positive thought to defend myself. That means prayer folks
• Australia
8 Jan 10
Ah yes, prayer - which no doubt was what the many thousands of nuns who have been raped over the centuries would have been doing. I wonder if afterward, assuming they were still alive, did they kneel and pray to God, and say, "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do." Get real. Lash
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@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
10 Jan 10
Hmmm, prayer is not positive thinking it is wishful thinking or just being plain hopeful. Positive thinking is about thinking positive thoughts as opposed to negative ones and is useful for developing a strong mind with lots of self confidence. It can however be over done and when it is it becomes dangerous. An example of over doing positive thinking is to regard every problem as something that can be overcome by simply thinking positively even when the problem is heart disease or cancer. Positive thinking can help you cope with the disease but it will not cure it. Too much positive thinking can help you walk into a situation that could kill you, sensible thinking would be to run in the opposite direction. I have been through all these stages. I went from being very strong and self confident to crashing in a heap and losing all self confidence to finally finding the right balance between them. Too much positive thinking can make you feel invincible and then when you find out you are not you can get so badly hurt that you crash to the other extreme.
@savypat (20245)
• United States
10 Jan 10
Common sense must prevail, you cannot walk through snake country without precautions against snakes. The world is what it is and has very little regard for Humans. Somehow we think we are a special life form, but really we are just a very small part of the whole.
1 person likes this