My Ex has Cancelled Mediation!
By jennybianca
@jennybianca (12912)
Australia
January 11, 2010 12:40am CST
We have been separated for two months. I have started a few disccussions since then regarding my ex's behaviour.
WE had organised mediation through Centacare. Mediation is not compulsory, but many, many people use this option to sort out property issues.Both of us have been to individual meetings with the mediator, and had organised the date for the two hour mediation together.
Today, I found out that my ex has cancelled mediation and won't proceed with it.
He must be up to something, him and his lawyer?
Or, else his instability is worse than I thought?
I'm really annoyed, because Lawyers cost a huge amount.
What do you think he is up to? Property settlement is compulsory after separation, so there's no way of getting out of it it.
1 person likes this
9 responses
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
12 Jan 10
Hi Jenny,
I'm going to have to go back and refresh up from your previous discussions on this guy because I honestly don't remember. I can't imagine why anyone would back out of mediation because they are usually fair and really help in the divorce procedure.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
12 Jan 10
Im really not sure myself. I saw my lawyer this afternoon, and she saide to just ignore his behaviour. My lawyer is writing to his lawyer. I think he is unstable, but how obvious it will be to his lawyer I dont know.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
12 Jan 10
Ok, I went back and read one of your other discussions regarding your ex and he does sound a bit irrational. It does sound as if he maybe isn't handling the separation well or maybe something else has been eating at him which may have been what led up to the end of your relationship. He actually sounds kind of paranoid. One thing I can tell you is that if he is up to something and if he is unstable and his lawyer catches on then he will probably drop case. Once he does that then he will lose much credibility with the judge. Stay positive and confident and you will do fine.
1 person likes this
@cerebellum (3863)
• United States
11 Jan 10
I don't know what he could be thinking. Maybe he thinks he'll have to give you less property if he waits for the courts to decide. Maybe he just doesn't want to do the joint mediation but would continue with seperate mediations. It doesn't seem fair to you that he should be able to just quit. You still have to pay for it and like you said lawyers are expensive.
@cerebellum (3863)
• United States
12 Jan 10
Hopefully you'll have a good lawyer and sympathetic judge and he won't get more than he deserves. It sounds like you have a long battle in front of you and he doesn't fight fair. Be patient and someday it'll all be over. I bet you'll be happy when you don't have to deal with him anymore!
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
11 Jan 10
I hope he comes to his senses soon and stops trying to make your life more miserable. It is a shame that it cannot be done differently. I hope he is not up to anything.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
11 Jan 10
I dont think he will come to his senses because he is being very irrational.
@scarlet_woman (23465)
• United States
16 Jan 10
oh good lord that man.
sounds to me like he simply wants to drag it out to be as much of a pain in the butt as possible.and expensive through the lawyer.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
16 Jan 10
Yes, I suspect he is dragging it out and playing power games.It will cost him a whole lot more though.
@rosepedal64 (4188)
• United States
11 Jan 10
Hi Jenny
Yeah I would have to agree with you that he is up to something. It sounds like that he is going to try and take more than his share of property. You just might be getting a letter to go to court. Then again he could have a turn of heart and just let you have what you want without any problems. This could be a catch 22 no matter how you look at it.
Let us know what is going on and what the outcome is. Try to stay calm. He might be doing this to upset you again. Don't give him the satifaction to do that.
Keep smiling jenny
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
11 Jan 10
I think he is going to try and take as much as possible. As I am seeing my lawyer this afterrnoon, I may find out more. I am calm at the moment!
@rosepedal64 (4188)
• United States
12 Jan 10
Let me know how that goes with the attorney.
Good luck and I wish you the best.
1 person likes this
@joelle3800 (20)
• United States
11 Jan 10
I wish I knew. Bu adly, I really dont. I guess you'll probably just have to wait it out and see what happens. Maybe you could try to contact him and see hats going on, but if the situation is very strained, it may be better to leave him alon, and start talking to the mediator on your own, to see what there is to do next.
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
12 Jan 10
I wont be contacting him, as he doesnt want me to. I have already had my one session mediation alone, and there is no more to do with it unless my ex attends too.
@GardenGerty (157907)
• United States
11 Jan 10
Jenny, I just do not know. All I can say is stay away from him, and guard yourself as well as your property and pocketbook. Does your lawyer know anything at all?
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
11 Jan 10
Im seeing my lawyer this afternoon, so she may have heard something from his lawyer. We will see.
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
11 Jan 10
No doubt I wont get an explanation from him. Will probably get one from his lawyer.
@Cutie18f (9551)
• Philippines
11 Jan 10
It does sound ugly so I hope everything will be solved soon. I think your ex is considering another method of settling the issue so you have to be ready with that. That is even uglier because legalities will be tackled and you will need to get a lawyer and go to court for this. It is indeed not a very nice experience. I hope you will overcome this challenge of your life.
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
11 Jan 10
Im seeing my lawyer this afternoon. I think he is trying to get as much as possible from my property. The trouble is, he is lying so much that he may make it worst for himself.
